Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

What's More Boring?

Yesterday was a watershed day in the world of sport, with all 4 major sports in action. Still, I can't help but be depressed at the state of sport in America today. I mean, the hockey was awesome (Carey Price LOL), but I was overall left unfulfilled. The problem is, with the exception of hockey, no other sport is actually entertaining. Here are the three most boring things in sport:

A) The NFL Draft. I mean seriously, between Chris Berman's retarded ramblings and Mel Kiper's ridiculous hair (although I enjoy the daggers Kiper puts into Todd McShay after McShay completely destroys a Kiper opinion), this has to be the shittiest thing on TV, right?

What I'd rather watch:
Matt Schulze in anything ever. ("Hmmm, I like him.")

B) A baseball game. I love Vin Scully, but a mallet couldn't knock me out more effectively than the sound of his voice. I mean seriously, who can actually watch an entire baseball game? It's okay if you're actually doing something constructive with it on in the background, but man alive is it boring.

What I'd rather watch:
That scene with Kathie Bates in About Schmidt (you know which one... ugh...)

C) An NBA playoff game. Now, it's not so boring in and of itself, it's the fabricated passion that bothers me. You'll see some asshole drive the lane, get brushed, immediately fall to the ground holding his pussy, and that's supposed to be entertaining? Sasha Vujacic disgraced Anze Kopitar and the nation of Slovenia today when he took an elbow to the head and fell like someone dropped a bag of hammers on his head. Honestly, who thinks these guys are real competitors?

What I'd rather watch:
A marathon of Small Wonder... although, I'd probably prefer that over most anything.

(God damn do I wish the Kings were good.)


Bryan said...

First of all drafts are super boring. Even the NHL draft is boring. The last recent amusing draft moment in recent times was the collective "Ohhh" when the Kings traded Demitra. Other than that drafts are lame. Easy winner right there

brokeyard said...

I say the most boring is an NBA game, playoff or not. At least in baseball there's some sort of strategic element, plus it's the sport with the most fighting besides hockey.

So though I can't sit still through any of the three, NBA games win for most lame.

I think this is why hockey will have a tough time moving into the #3 spot in popularity in America. Because all the other sports require no attention span:

Football - lots of stoppage and downtime.

Baseball - lots of stoppage and downtime.

Basketball, not as much stopping, but the first 95 points scored by a team don't mean anything.

Whereas hockey, every second holds a possibility of some game-changing moment occuring.

RudyKelly said...

There are fights in baseball? I've seen people standing around, and one time an old fat guy got thrown to the ground, but that's about it.

Oh, and Chan Ho Park karate kicked a guy one time. I think Ivanans should try that.

brokeyard said...

Not like in hockey, but more than in Football or Basketball. They're usually brawls involving many players.

Morbo said...

Basketball wins by far. If you like college football, the first round of the NFL draft is mildly interesting. Although it's kind of like you and Vin Scully, I had it on, in the background, and was doing other stuff while Berman was rambling about the size of his prostate ... or something.

Baseball I actually find interesting in a much different way than Hockey. If you're a geek are into numbers like I am, there's a lot of strategy going on in baseball.

Although I get bored at baseball games in person, I can watch it fine on TV, when there's funny announcers, like listening to Angels games just to hear Rex Hudler reminisce about his one year in Japan when his stats were like A-rod.

brokeyard said...

Hmm. I think any sport is more exciting in person.