Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Stars and Round Two: Reunited and it feels so good

• On the same day that Danica Patrick got the victory monkey off her hot little back, the Stars made it to the second round of the playoffs for the first time since 2003.

In that time, Chris Pronger came and went from the Edmonton Oilers. The NHL instituted a salary cap and left ESPN because of a horrific lockout. The Stanley Cup champions now include a team from Florida, California and frickin' North Carolina. Also, Britney Spears went absolutely, 100% batshit crazy. My oh my how times have changed…

Stu Barnes happened to score his 10th playoff GWG. Now, I’m not going to say that makes him better than Joe Thornton.

But hot damn if #14 isn’t the closest thing the Stars have to Chris Drury.

• The Stars managed to do this without Sergei Zubov. This is something that they’re going to have to get used to, especially if Zubov ages worse than Elizabeth Taylor (by the way, I heard a rumor that he smokes about a pack of cigarettes during each intermission. If this is true, prepare to award Zubov 1,000 cool points).

• The Stars absolutely earned this series win, Marty Turco might just be regaining his University of Michigan-era crunch time swagger and Brad Richards justified his existence. You cannot ask for much more than that.

• Rudy Kelly wonders why the Stars are so successful and there are many reasons why. But if pressed for one thing that stands out about the Stars it’s that they have a collective competence that few teams can match. There aren’t many players who make me cringe when they have the puck. On the other end, the gap between Selanne's line and the Ducks' second best option is Zdeno Chara big.

Naturally, certain players excel at different things, but there really aren’t many “take away from the table” type guys on the Stars. Stu Barnes and Steve Ott are checking forwards who are beginning to demand some serious D attention; Brad Richards, Mike Modano and Mike Ribeiro provide the Stars with crucial creativity; Mattias Norstrom, Trevor Daley and Stephane Robidas sneak up on you with their unexpectedly impressive D skills.

And then opposing teams have to deal with the ball breaking effectiveness of Marty Turco’s puck handling skills.

Perhaps the BoC needs a “get to know the Stars” special. Because these guys are good.

  • I think I've stumbled on a solid nickname for Brad Richards: the $5 shake. As you may remember from "Pulp Fiction," Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) orders the questionably priced shake and John Travolta is understandably skeptical. Although no shake could be worth $5, Travolta ultimately admitted that it was a "damn good shake." But not worth $5.
Richards clearly is the $5 shake. I think my work here is done...

16 comments:

Earl Sleek said...

Congrats, O'B. If the Sharks pull a Ducks-third-period Tuesday night, you'll be our only glimmer of relevance, so enjoy it.

Rudy Kelly wonders why the Stars are so successful and there are many reasons why.

I think the Stars' system was well designed to counter the Ducks' forecheck, too. Even when the Ducks went in hard, I kept seeing the Stars diligently taking position to surround and contain that puck. When it eventually popped free, it nearly always went to a well-positioned Star.

Kudos. Stars showed me some real determination, mostly out of guys named Ribiero and Morrow. Turco was fine, but generally the games were won in front of him, and the loss of Zubov and Boucher I think didn't hurt against the offense-starved Ducks as much as it might against the next opponent.

I'll say a bit more in a recap post, but congrats, and good luck in round two.

therealdeal said...

I'm not sure if that rumour about Zubov is true but it's true that he does smoke like a freakin chimney.

PJ Swenson said...

Smashmouth hockey.

Jess said...

So I log onto Battle of California, and I see a hot lady. Cool. But I keep reading, and its tied to the Dallas Stars?

I just want to know, who the hell thought it would be a good idea to annex Texas into California?

Congrats to the Stars (boo), I guess, hopefully we get to meet (I is a Sharks fan) in the next round and we can not suck as much as Stompy and the Gang.

Earl Sleek said...

I just want to know, who the hell thought it would be a good idea to annex Texas into California?

I'm not fighting it. For as many comments as we get wondering why there's Dallas coverage, we get a lot during the season too that ask why we don't have more.

hopefully we get to meet (I is a Sharks fan) in the next round and we can not suck as much as Stompy and the Gang.

Jeez, it sounds weird to hear that from the Sharks' side.

Jen said...

lol I don't know about a whole pack, but have heard that Zubov totally smokes during intermissions.

Mike in OC said...

we can not suck as much as Stompy and the Gang.

Although I agree with you that the Sharks will match up better to a trapping team like Dallas than the 2008 Ducks (Just as I think 08 Ducks would not have needed 7 games to dispatch Calgary, if SJ even wins that match).

I would worry about beating Calgary right now if I were you, I am now officially for San Jose. Lets get it done!

brokeyard said...

I mean... you don't see the battle of Alberta inluding Vancouver.

Morbo said...

Huh? What? I lost you after the picture of Danica.

(IRL blows monkey balls by the way. Champ cars, RIP)

I call Richards: Mini-Chompers. His massive front teeth are only slightly less massive than modano.

Mike in OC said...

Richards clearly is the $5 shake..

He sure did look good in this series.

Fuck!

Earl Sleek said...

I mean... you don't see the battle of Alberta inluding Vancouver.

That's true, but I would like BoC a whole lot less if I had to regulate what got written here.

So, anybody want a "job" blogging about the Coyotes?

brokeyard said...

Tell you what though, "Battle of the Pacific" is a sweet title.

jamestobrien said...

The best thing about the potential Battle of the Pacific would probably be the deep disappointment it would cause for e-savvy WWII buffs.

Jen said...

Battle of Pacific would be awesome. You guys are hysterical and would love to see what you'd write about the Stars lol

Mike in OC said...

Although I agree with you that the Sharks will match up better to a trapping team like Dallas than the 2008 Ducks

Ok, I stand corrected.

Mike in OC said...

Congrats to the Stars (boo), I guess, hopefully we get to meet (I is a Sharks fan) in the next round and we can not suck as much as Stompy and the Gang.

You got your wish Jess and now your Sharks are down 3-0 in this round. I guess you should be carefull in the future of what you wish for.