Ducks Gameday—The Three Patos!

Columbus Blue Jackets (11-12-3, t-12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (14-10-3, t-4th in west)
No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions!

"Three Patos, Anaheim, California. You are very great. 100,000 pesos. Come to Santa Poco, put on show, stop. The Infamous El Guapo."

In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face.
Sometimes that El Guapo is the Columbus Blue Jackets.
Prediction: Ducks 4, Jackets 2. Goals by Little Neddy Niedermayer, Dusty Pronger, Lucky Day Selanne, and Santa Poco resident Pahlsson. Together they prune the hedges of many small villages. For your El Guapo coverage, go visit Bethany's Hockey Rants.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gamedays—A Poem for the Road Trip

Anaheim Ducks (2-5-0) at

• Ottawa Senators (2-3-1), tonight
• Montreal Canadiens (5-0-1), tomorrow
• Columbus Blue Jackets (3-3-0), Monday

That's right, a three-in-one special! Like Rudy, I'm also off tomorrow moning for a few-day trip -- I'll be up in Oakland for a cousin's wedding. So you kids play nice!

Anyways, in lieu of anything analytical, here's a nice Friday poem to get you through next Monday. Enjoy!

Ode to the Road Trip

O h for the glory of two playoffs ago,
T aking Lord Stanley away from Big O.
T rue, going in the Sens seemed like a beast,
A lfie, Spezz, Heater – they ripped through the east!
W hile both teams have since seen some talent get scattered,
A t least we can say that we won when it mattered.

M on dieu! Les Canadiens, a hearty “whassup?”
O ne hundred years old? I’d better speak up.
N ow I know that SoCal isn’t Original Six,
T hus you probably can’t stand us insufferable pricks,
R eally what scares me is the Habs’ power play,
E specially if the Ducks think penalties are OK,
A nd while fans will drink at the game and in bars,
L et’s not go crazy and start burning cop cars.

C an I keep up this rhyming for one more damn stanza?
O f course! Time for some Blue Jacket bonanza!
L ast NHL team to feel postseason pride,
U gh! They’re still a thorn in the Ducks’ side.
M aybe it’s travel or maybe it’s fate,
B ut the Jackets have sure been tougher of late.
U sually I end with some nonsense prediction
S o Pahlsson scores ‘em all; 3-0 perfection!

Go Ducks.

Sharks vs Columbus Blue Jackets photos

Only had a few minutes in the third period to take photos, but here are a couple shots from the game. A few more notes and photos from Tuesday night are here.

Game 1: a sloppy joe of hockey

Breaking out the 'ol Sleek "Robo-das" photoshop one more time

Even after the lockout, it’s nice to be reminded that comebacks are completely possible in hockey. The Stars were down 4-2 in the third period after some really sloppy turnovers and it looked like Dallas turned to heartbreak city.

In a matter of minutes, the game was tied 4-4 and the American Airlines Center was rocking.

Of course, the Columbus Blue Jackets ended up winning in OT after a beautiful wrist shot goal by Rick Nash. It was a really rough, sometimes sloppy game and the Stars should be happy they got a point from this one.

Instead of Fabian Brunnstrom, the new guy to watch might be James Neal. Neal scored a goal in the second period and played a solid 16 minutes tonight.

The most interesting stat line of the night might belong to Stephane Robidas, who might continue the momentum from a postseason that inspired Earl Sleek to nickname him “Robo-das.” He managed to register a -2 even though he had three assists.

The Stars certainly have some things to work on, but at least they didn’t leave empty handed.

Stars Game Day: 'Stache revisited

We'll probably get a taste of Brunnstrom tonight

The Sean Avery era begins in the athletically troubled state of Ohio Dallas at 8:30 ET/5:30 Pacific. The main storyline is the Stars' future versus a ghost of the Stars' past.

Ken Hitchcock's Blue Jackets had quite the revolving door this off-season. They lost enigmatic Russian Nik Zherdev, perpetual project Gilbert Brule (a Golbez favorite if I remember properly) and fairly-nondescript-before-free-agency Ron Hainsey. In their place, Columbus brought in Flyers playoff sensation R.J. Umberger, the flighty Kristian Huselius, overpaid ginger Mike Commodore and premiere douche Raffi Torres. The BJs look like they'll show the scoring ability of a Klan member at a "Soul Train" after-party.

For the Stars, we'll get our first glimpse of a guy who had quite the 15-minutes of Wine and Dine fame, Fabian Brunnstrom. Hopefully Brunnstrom will ease the pain caused by the departure of the Stars' interchangeable Finns.

Can the Stars justify their newly found media darling status without Sergei Zubov? Part 1 of 82 starts tonight.

Who's up for a little game theory?

Kuklas Korner has a piece today on soon-to-be-UFA Ryan Malone and how Columbus might trade for his rights Philadelphia-style in order to get a pre-July-1st negotiating window:

An NHL source said that Malone has been low-balled twice by the Penguins and is ready to leave July 1 as an unrestricted free agent. Malone’s rights could be traded before that day, of course, and the Blue Jackets are a likely destination.

The source said the Penguins have already made the Blue Jackets an offer for Malone’s rights.

Now this is a move that puzzled me when Philadelphia did it last summer with the Nashville Predators (Hartnell and Timonen), and it's a move that puzzles me still today. For certain, I can understand Nashville's and Pittsburgh's motivation -- why lose a player for nothing July 1st if some team is willing to pay assets mid-June? As for the other parties, I really fail to see what the benefits are for Ryan Malone or the Columbus Blue Jackets.

I threw together a simple game theory table together below that oversimplifies the choices of Columbus and Malone, but essentially Columbus has a choice: outbid 29 other teams for Malone, or not. Malone also has a choice: sign before July 1st, or wait.

	Malone will sign before July 1st	Malone won't sign until July 1st
CBJ will offer the highest bid	CBJ loses a draft pick unnecessarily	CBJ loses a draft pick unnecessarily
CBJ will not offer the highest bid	Malone loses salary unnecessarily	CBJ loses Malone, both sides are indifferent to the trade

I've included some loose payoffs where the decisions intersect. If Columbus is willing to pay more for Malone than anyone else, there seems to be no benefit to make a pre-July trade; they can win his services on July 1st without surrendering a draft pick. If another team is willing to pay more than Columbus, however, then there is no benefit for Malone to sign with the Jackets in June.

In other words, there is no great reason I can see for Columbus to trade for Malone's negotiating rights, at least with the payoffs as I've structured it. At best, both sides are indifferent about the trade (if Malone signs elsewhere July 1st), but in all other outcomes one of the parties is worse off because of the trade.

Now I know I've made some strong assumptions here (NHL teams act rationally, or that Malone only considers dollars when making a UFA decision), and I haven't considered all the payoffs: one thing that Philly did get from its trade-and-sign last year was an improved perception from the UFA class ("Those Flyers are serious about winning"), which may have helped them land Briere. Still, even with the turnaround success of the Flyers, I'm dubious as to what advantage they gained by the Nashville trade. Couldn't they have signed Hartnell and Timonen on July 1st, kept their draft pick, and still had that success?

What do you think? Is there a hole in my logic? Comments are open for your criticisms.

More on Patrick Marleau to Columbus for Nikolai Zherdev trade rumor

Two thumbs down on both trade suggestions proffered from the Columbus media so far. No to the initial suggestion of Patrick Marleau and a player to be named later for Nikolai Zherdev and the #6 overall draft pick in 2008. Also, no to any combination of Nikolai Zherdev, Dan Fritsche or Stefan Legein and the #19 pick coming to San Jose for Patrick Marleau.

Rumors are starting to spread throughout the NHL now about a possible Blue Jackets trade with the Sharks. The rumor over the weekend was Nikolai Zherdev, Dan Fritsche or Stefan Legein and the No. 19 pick to San Jose for Patrick Marleau. I spent most of Saturday pursuing this and was told by a handful of close-to-the-situation sources that there's no truth to it, that the two clubs have not put together the framework of any specific trade as of yet. No names have been mentioned.

More detailed thoughts on the trade rumors are up on Sharkspage. Other free agent defenseman on the market if Brian Campbell can not be re-signed: Montreal's Mark Streit, Blue Jackets defenseman Ron Hainsey, Ottawa's Wade Redden, and even former Shark Brad Stuart.

The Sharks can do better than Zherdev in a Marleau trade

Nikolai Zherdev is the kind of hockey player who could live a totally separate life on YouTube and in the icy worlds of Electronic Arts hockey games. He is, at times, a poor man's Rick Nash on a Columbus Blue Jackets team with precious few attractions.



But all of these facts do not detract from the argument that the Sharks could probably find a better deal if they're going to trade Patrick Marleau. Now, I know the 6th pick in the draft would (allegedly) be involved, but although the Sharks are a young team they'd have to be drinking the Upside Kool-Aid to make a deal this foolish.

Although I'll admit I felt much more confident about my stance before looking at Marleau's abysmal 2007-08 regular season stats. Yeeesh.

Still, my post-3 OT, 3 a.m., hasty gut reaction is that Marleau is much better than his stats would tell you and that Zherdev has locker room cancer written all over him (not exactly the magic potion for a Sharks team many feel is in need of a heart transplant). Not to mention the fact that, even on a bad team, being a career -52 in three seasons is a tangible sign of a faulty hockey player.

Then again, I'm no Sharks expert. I'll let the our superior trio of Shark Snarks handle the majority of what I'm sure will be quite a busy sowing circle regarding The Guy Who Was Drafted After Jumbo Joe.

Credit goes to Greg W(ishinsffkskfskfsi...seriously, that guy has a devilishly hard-to-spell last name), the Ultimo Dragon of hockey bloggers, for bringing this rumor to my attention.

Kings Gameday: Strange Goings On Down at Staples

LA Kings (burp) @ Columbus Blue Jackets (26-23-8, 11th in West)

3:00 PST, FSN West

Nevermind that Ducks-Wings game, this one is obviously more important.

You know what's strange? The Kings, the Laker, the Clippers, and the Ducks have all been on road trips of at least 7 games.

The Kings: 8 games; last home game January 24th; return February 15th

The Clippers: 7 games; last home game January 30th; return February 15th

The Lakers: 9 games; last home game January 31st; return February 19th

The Ducks: 8 games; last home game January 30th; return February 15th

Seriously, what the hell? I assumed their must be a convention going on at Staples Center or something, but nothing shows up on their event calendar. There's only one possible explanation for this: Secret Freemasons Convention. I'd tell Earl to go check it out since he works by there, but I'm afraid he'd just end up getting disappeared. Strange, though.

***

Clint Howard with hair.

The Kings are playing the Columbus Blue Jackets this afternoon, meaning they get to face the perpetually overrated Rick Nash. Has anyone not followed through on initial promise as much as Nash? Hey look, you have 45 points this season; congratulations, you're Dustin Brown. Plus, has anyone noticed that he looks like Patrick O'Sullivan's drunk older brother? I can't find a good picture of O'Sullivan to prove it, but I swear it's true. They're kinda like young and old Elvis.

***

I'd like to see Brian Boyle get 1 game between Mike Cammalleri and Alex Frolov. Just one game. That's all I ask. Oh, and don't make Handzus play with Giuliano and Ivanans, that's just mean. Oh, and Dan Cloutier should be playing today... mother of God.

Prediction: Kings win a barnburner, 7-6. Goals by Boyle, Frolov, Cammalleri, Kopitar, O'Sullivan, Brown, and... Dan Cloutier!!!

Kings Gameday Guest Post: The (New Jersey) Devil's Dictionary

Los Angeles Kings (12-21-2, whoops) @ Columbus Blue Jackets (14-13-6, 12th in West)

7:00 PST, FSN West


Here's something Meg and I have been working on for way too long. It's a glossary of terms that we often hear in hockey and what they really mean. This is part I, with part II going up tomorrow. I apologize in advance to Ambrose Bierce and the many people out there who I am sure have already done this. In the meantime, I encourage anyone who read the debate on Monday to read this even-handed article by Terry Frei over at ESPN.com. Obviously Frei is trying to leech off the immense popularity of this blog, but I guess it's alright because his article adds to the conversation.

Shootout- A fun, exciting, fan-friendly part of the game; as such, hockey purists believe it is a travesty and demand it be removed.

Inner Thigh- A player has been hit in the balls, but the announcer is unsure of how to indicate it. This phrase is usually preceded by a few seconds of awkward silence as the commentator struggles to make his phrase appropriate for the television audience. Jimmy Fox famously came up with this term after almost getting fired in 1988 for saying, "It looks like Bernie Nichols got clocked in the cock right there."

Offensive-Defenseman- A defenseman that produces half as many goals for his team as he does for the opposition. ("Sergei Gonchar has been a premiere offensive-defenseman for years.")

Gordie Howe Hat Trick- In order to be credited with a Gordie Howe hat trick a player must have a goal, an assist, and an inability to let go of the game.

Flu-like symptoms- Hungover (ex: "I'm throwing up and feel like shit - just like the flu!")

Lower-Body Injury- A concussion

Upper-Body Injury- Broken foot

Borderline call- An obvious penalty against the home team

Optional Practice- Mandatory practice

Lady Byng Trophy- An anti-trophy, used to penalized one player every year for a lack of toughness

"Holy Jumpin!"- I am quite excited by whatever has just occurred

"Scratch my back with a hacksaw!"- ...?


Prediction: Marc Crawford steals Pascal Leclaire's presents, hoping to ruin his Christmas; however, Leclaire joins a circle with the rest of Whoville and sings Christmas carols, causing Crawford's heart to grow 3 sizes.

Ducks Gameday—Giving opponents an early lead

Anaheim Ducks (14-13-4, 8th in west) at Columbus Blue Jackets (13-11-5, 9th in west)

The third guest-art installment inthe spade-in-victorhell series.
Well, so far this is the last submission I've gotten from Spade, and a rather solid one, as it captures the drinky spirit of this blog. I've got to say that the timing of these guest cartoons has been splendid; my hockey attention span took a big hit this weekend with the unveiling of an Xbox 360 in the Sleek household. We don't have any hockey titles yet (heck, we haven't even gotten the thing online yet), but that doesn't mean I didn't spend the bulk of the weekend rolling objects up in the new Katamari Damacy.

As for the Ducks, lately the troubling trend has been giving up the first goal; the last time the Ducks scored first in a game was ten games ago in Dallas. The table below shows how games have opened since then; included is the time of the opening goal and also how many goals each opponent scored before the Ducks got on the board (if they got on the board):

Opponent	Opp first goal	Opp lead built
PHX	9:46 1st EV	1-0
LAK	12:56 1st EV	2-0
@VAN	13:20 2nd EV	4-0
@CGY	3:08 1st PP	1-0
@EDM	2:12 1st PP	1-0
EDM	9:29 1st EV	4-0
BUF	4:07 1st EV	1-0
@CHI	1:07 1st PP	1-0
@NSH	5:52 1st EV	3-0

The Ducks' record in that stretch has been pretty good (4-4-1), considering their refusal to score first, as well as a huge disparity in power plays (ANA: 5 of 33, OPP: 10 of 56). Probably a better concentration in the opening ten minutes could greatly help the Ducks' record, and obviously if the power plays could be less lopsided that should help things out also.

Prediction (Katamari-style): Nah nah, na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Ducks win 4 to 3.
Nah nah, na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Pahlsson and Perry x3.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Optimism, thy name is Schneidermayer

Columbus Blue Jackets (7-3-1, t-3rd in west) at Anaheim Ducks (4-7-2, t-11th in west)

For those of you Duck fans who are not taking the time to read Ducks Wire, I’d highly encourage it. It’s a great way to keep tabs on the latest Duck headlines, sort of a Kukla’s Korner for Anaheim and Portland news (better than waiting for me to become a credible news source). Anyway, if we believe the latest reports from practice, the Ducks are likely to have Rob Niedermayer, Ryan Getzlaf, and finally Mathieu Schneider in the lineup tonight. If so, this really figures to be the most complete lineup the Ducks have dressed all season—really the only missing piece (under non-suspended contract) is the concussion-stricken Bertuzzi.

(By the way, I'm not really sure what I meant to do with that picture on the right. Something about Niedermayer being Schneider's internal voice, a la Obi Wan Kenobi with young Luke, but it's not the most self-evident graphic I've ever made.)

I know my Ducks writing of late has been pretty pessimistic in nature, so I thought today I'd talk about one positive about the Ducks' crummy start to the season: at least it didn't happen last year. To illustrate, here's the 5 Pacific teams and their start thus far, along with how they started last season in the same number of games:

1. San Jose Sharks 12 GP, 6-5-1 (.542), 13 pts. 29 GF, 28 GA. PP 17.5%, PK 88.1%
Start of Last Year 12 GP 8-4-0 (.667), 16 pts. 40 GF, 28 GA. PP 28.0%, PK 85.9%
Key Metrics: Pts down 19%, GF down 28%, GA even, PP down 11%, PK up 2%

2. Dallas Stars 12 GP, 5-5-2 (.500), 12 pts. 33 GF, 33 GA. PP 19.2%, PK 87.0%
Start of Last Year 12 GP, 10-2-0 (.833), 20 pts. 38 GF, 22 GA. PP 15.7%, PK 89.5%
Key Metrics: Pts down 40%, GF up 15%, GA up 50%, PP down 4%, PK up 3%

3. Los Angeles Kings 13 GP, 6-7-0 (.462), 12 pts. 39 GF, 42 GA. PP 21.4%, PK 81.7%
Start of Last Year: 13 GP, 3-8-2 (.308), 8 pts. 25 GF, 36 GA. PP 10.1%, PK 85.3%
Key Metrics: Pts up 50%, GF up 56%, GA up 17%, PP up 11%, PK down 4%

4. Anaheim Ducks 13 GP, 4-7-2 (.385), 10 pts. 27 GF, 33 GA. PP 10.5%, PK 80.9%
Start of Last Year: 13 GP, 9-0-4 (.846), 22 pts. 42 GF, 28 GA. PP 20.6%, PK 87.5%
Key Metrics: Pts down 55%, GF down 36%, GA up 18%, PP down 10%, PK down 7%

5. Phoenix Coyotes, 10 GP, 4-6-0 (.400), 8 pts. 22 GF, 29 GA. PP 8.7%, PK 81.4%
Start of Last Year: 10 GP, 2-8-0 (.200), 4 pts. 19 GF, 44 GA. PP 9.2%, PK 76.5%
Key Metrics: Pts up 100%, GF up 16%, GA down 34%, PP down 1%, PK up 5%

Last year by this time in the season, there were already 18 points separating the top seed in the Pacific from the bottom seed; this year the spread is down to 5 points. And while the Ducks have the worst winning percentage of the bunch, it's better to be trailing the Sharks by 3 points and the Stars by 2 than if those teams had started with last year's start; then the deficit would be 6 points to the Sharks and 10 points to the Stars, and my panic would be much more severe.

At any rate, the Blue Jackets come in after beating out the Kings last night in what seems to be a typical Columbus effort: limiting goals against. In case you're not up to speed with the western standings, you may be surprised to note that Columbus leads the league in goals-allowed-per-game (1.82) and in penalty killing (93.0%). You may also be surprised to note that the Calgary Flames lead the west in goals-scored-per-game (3.50). It wasn't that long ago (2002-03) when the Flames were 14th in the west in team offense and the Blue Jackets were 15th in the west in team defense; talk about changing identity.

Prediction: The Ducks and Blue Jackets met up in Columbus early last month (part of the Ducks' whirlwind post-London fatigue tour) and the game was an Anaheim disaster. Fatigued and jet-lagged, the Ducks took 16 minutes to get a shot on goal, ended up being shorthanded for more than 20 minutes of gameclock, and surrendered 3 PP goals en route to a 4-0 loss. I'm optimistic that those trends won't be repeated. Let's say Ducks 4, Blue Jackets 2. Goals by Moen, Miller, Pahlsson, and the man I call Schneidermayer.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gamedays: Rise and shine!

I’ve got to do a two-in-one special for these games, as I’ll be out of town this weekend. I’ll say up front that I’m giving the Ducks a lot of slack this week—between injuries and silly schedules it probably won’t pay off to expect too much for the start of the year. Case in point, the Ducks play their fourth game already after the shortest summer in the league; meanwhile their next two opponents will be just starting their seasons tonight.

Wake up, you lazy late-starters; the champs are here!

-----------------------------
Tonight: Anaheim Ducks (1-1-1, 1st in west) at Columbus Blue Jackets (0-0-0, season starts tonight!)

First to Columbus, whose last game was played on April 7th, half a year ago, when they last hosted the Anaheim Ducks. And while the Blue Jackets have been in steady offseason mode since that game, the Ducks have played an additional 24 games since seeing this Columbus squad.

For whatever reason, the Blue Jackets have played tough against the Ducks the past couple of years, despite the standings disparity. The teams split their season series this year and last, though the road team has had the advantage, winning 6 of 8 contests. On a side note, Columbus really would have been a nice un-retirement opponent: in the four-game series last year, Selanne netted 4 goals and 6 assists and Niedermayer chipped in 7 assists.

Prediction: Ducks 5, Blue Jackets 3. Road dominance continues; goals by Bertuzzi, Beauchemin, McDonald, Moen, and Marchant.


-----------------------------
Tomorrow: Anaheim Ducks (1-1-1, 1st in west) at Pittsburgh Penguins (0-0-0, season starts tonight!)

Then on to Pittsburgh, the old Battle of the Birds. This will be the third time in four nights the Ducks will be the visitor for another team’s home opener, and the last stop before Anaheim’s own home opener next week. Pittsburgh thus far has the distinction of having more standing points in this calendar year 2007 than any other team—31-9-7, good for 67 points.

I don’t have a ton to say on Pittsburgh; I haven’t really been fond of them ever since they edged the Ducks out on a ping pong ball that turned into Sidney Crosby (but given the choice, I’ll take the cup win). The teams have only seen each other once since the lockout (the Ducks won 3-2 in OT in Anaheim last year)—but the Pens can take solace in the fact that all three stars from that game (S. Niedermayer, D. Penner, and T. Selanne) won’t be dressed up for this one.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Penguins 1. Goals by Kunitz, Pronger, and Getzlaf x2.


-----------------------------
There is a bit of personal-life synchronicity here, as I will actually be at a wedding in Columbus tomorrow for a friend who is actually a Penguins fan. Being the short-sighted idiot that I am, though, I neglected to check the NHL schedule when booking flights for this wedding, so I won’t be leaving until well after tonight’s game is done.

Oh well. Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Game 82: still relevant (for now)

Anaheim Ducks (47-20-14, t-2nd in the west) at Columbus Blue Jackets (33-41-7, 11th in the west)

Well, the Ducks were 7 seconds (or one shootout) away from clinching their first Pacific title and the 2nd seed yesterday, but apparently the powers that be want me to watch today’s game with interest as well. The loser point guarantees that Dallas cannot win the Pacific or start with home ice, but the Sharks are still within reach.

Still, the Ducks' playoff picture got a lot clearer—we are now down to three potential first-round opponents:

• If the Ducks hold the Pacific (get at least one point at CBJ, or SJS fails to win vs. VAN), then they will host either Minnesota or Vancouver (most likely the Wild) in round 1.
• If the Sharks take the Pacific (they beat VAN while the Ducks get zero points out of CBJ), then the Ducks will start on the road as the 5th seed against Nashville.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Blue Jackets 2. Last goals of the year for Pahlsson, Kunitz, Beauchemin, and Getzlaf.

p.s. One of our similar-themed blogs, the Battle of New York (focusing on the NYR/NYI/NJD tri-valry) is doing a marathon liveblog on most of today’s end-of-the-season games. Check it out!

Ducks Gameday—the only western team yet to lose to Anaheim

Anaheim Ducks (45-20-12, 3rd in west) at Columbus Blue Jackets (32-37-7, 11th in west)

Did you know that the Blue Jackets are now above the Oilers in the standings? I wonder how much that is being celebrated in Columbus or mourned in Edmonton. “Yay, we got past the quittingest team in the history of sports.”

And while we’re tackling one’s place in the world of sport, check out this ESPN fan satisfaction “study”, that shows that the Ducks are the 6th-best franchise in all North American sport. Now most Duck bloggers might point at the Sharks at 22 and the Kings at 103 (out of 122) and gloat, but I’ll just take the higher ground and say “whatever”. Yes, the team and ownership get high marks, and it is cool that a doofus like me can get access to Row B seats (try that in Toronto!), but really, the Ducks are not among the top 6 franchises in hockey, let alone all of sport. Still, take whatever ESPN-love that you can get, I suppose.

As an opponent, Columbus is really starting to piss me off. Since the lockout, they are 4-2 against the Ducks (2 wins by shootout), and every game has been decided by a goal or less. And as the post title notes, they remain the only western team this year that has yet to lose to Anaheim. I don’t know if that BJ frustration is what inspired me to make such a weird cartoon, but here it is anyway.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Blue Jackets 1. Goals by Selanne, Pahlsson, and (former BJs) Beauchemin and Marchant.

Ducks Gameday—overdosing on Blue Jackets

Columbus Blue Jackets (27-35-7, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (42-17-11, 3rd in west)

As I noted in the previous BJ Gameday Post, the NHL schedule-monkeys went a little crazy when it came to Columbus and Anaheim—they didn’t meet at all the first half of the season, and now the Ducks get to finish up their regular season by seeing Columbus three times over their last dozen games.

I won't lie to you; it looks pretty comfortable for the Ducks, who have an 8-point division lead on both the Stars and the Sharks. Looking at Anaheim's remaining schedule, there are only four games left this season that involve teams with immediate postseason plans (Dallas x2, Detroit, and San Jose). The other 8 games are all also-rans (Columbus x3, Chicago x2, Los Angeles, Phoenix, and St. Louis), so at least in terms of set-up, the Ducks look positioned to end the season strong and hold that Pacific title.

That said, the west playoff picture looks to be awesomely tough this spring. I'll make a different post about that (so as to not bore any CBJ or LAK fans out there), but suffice to say there is no team that I am salivating to play nor is there a team I think we are doomed against. These kind of statements would be lunacy out east.

Ducks are doing well so far on their longest home stretch of the season: 5-0, outscoring opponents 16-7. Key factors: power play at 28% (7 of 25), penalty kill at 100% (20 of 20).

On the other side of the world is Columbus, who really needs to step up in order to even re-achieve futility—they need 13 points in 13 games in order to match their 74 standings points from last year. Even though they project to improve their goals-against by some 30 goals, their offense looks to be down about 18 goals. Power-play and penalty-kill rates look to be really close to last year, though it should be noted that CBJ is cleaning up its act in one regard—they project to have 70 fewer shorthanded situations than they did last year.

I guess as a segue, I’ll note that Columbus’ highest goal scorer—Rick Nash, with 21 goals this season—has one less total goal than Teemu Selanne has power-play goals.

Of course, congrats are due to Mr. Ketchup, who on Sunday became the first player in NHL history to have back-to-back 40 goal seasons over the age of 35. Quite stunning, really. I mean, he’s really book-ended his career really well; I never figured the guy who sets an improbable ‘old man’ scoring record would be the same guy who set an improbable rookie scoring record—he’s doing it on both sides of the age spectrum.

Just for fun, I decided to track ‘important’ goal-scorers since the lockout. This considers not only NHL regular-season goals, but NHL playoff goals and Olympic goals as well, all rolled up into one goal-tallying table. I’ve ranked them by goals-per-game, but note that Teemu is tied for third in the overall goal count.

Player	Age	GP	Goals	Goals/GP
Alexander Ovechkin	21	159	98	.616
Marian Gaborik	25	108	64	.593
Ilya Kovalchuk	23	157	93	.592
Simon Gagne	27	152	88	.579
Dany Heatley	26	168	97	.577
Marian Hossa	28	157	84	.535
Teemu Selanne	36	174	93	.534
Jonathan Cheechoo	26	157	83	.529
Henrik Zetterberg	26	154	81	.526
Brian Gionta	28	156	79	.506
Vincent Lecavalier	26	162	82	.506

Of course, we should also take note that Teemu is 8 years older than anyone else on this list (to be fair, Jagr barely missed the cut), he's one of only four players who toil in the western conference, AND he’s played more ‘important’ games than any of them.

Frickin' amazing, Teemu.


Prediction: Ducks 5, Blue Jackets 2. (If you recall, the last meeting between to these teams was easily the biggest kick-to-the-nuts games of the season. Ducks are leading 3-0 at Honda Center with 10 minutes left in regulation and manage to come out of the game without a point. Ric Jackman, making his Duck debut, gets the fastest minus-four in the history of stage fright, and Selanne fails on a last-minute penalty shot. So anyway, this time they get things right.) Goals by Perry, Selanne, Jackman, Pahlsson, and this-time-for-sure The Moustache.

Kings Gameday: This is Going to be a Long Week

Los Angeles Kings (22-34-10, 15th in West) vs. Columbus Blue Jackets (26-33-7, 12th in West)

4:00 PM, FSN Prime Ticket
I said yesterday that I want the Kings to start losing because I want a high draft pick in June. This is half-true. Rationally, I want the Kings to do poorly because there’s no chance they can win the Stanley Cup this year. Emotionally, however, I hate it when the Kings lose. It ruins my day. Even worse is when I only get to watch the 1st period and see the Blackhawks score 15 seconds into the game. There was a post the other day by much more intelligent and famous blogger, The Mighty MJD, who wrote that he can’t cheer against his team because he roots for the individuals on the team as well as the jersey. I’m much the same way. I can’t cheer when Patrick O’Sullivan fans on a shot (like he did in the first period), or boo when Raitis Ivanans actually makes a smart play to get the puck to O’Sullivan in the first place. It’s hard to find a balance; I want the Kings to be bad, but I want everyone on the team to do well. It was a lot easier when the Kings had Cloutier, because I could hope the Kings scored 4 goals a game while still expecting them to lose. The Kings played last night without Blake, Visnovsky, and Kopitar; their top defenseman was Aaron Miller and their top center was Alex Frolov (whose natural position is left wing). If this continues to be the case, I’m not going to be happy for the rest of the week.

Tonight’s opponent is the Columbus Blue Jackets. I feel bad for the Blue Jackets; all the other expansion teams from the mid-90s on have become legitimate NHL teams (the Thrashers are exciting, the Wild went to the Stanley Cup Finals a year ago, the Hurricanes just won a Cup), but the Jackets are still as terrible as they used to be. I don’t know what’s up with their franchise, but I then again I don’t pay too much attention to them. In all honesty, I would prefer that they stay terrible so I don’t have to bother thinking about them. When someone asks me about the Blue Jackets the first thing I think of is that Frolov deserved to go to the All-Star game over Rick Nash. Then I think of Ken Hitchcock slipping on ice and it makes me laugh. (He’s fat, get it? Oh, and he also looks like an older version of Paul Bearer, The Undertaker’s old manager.)

The last time these two teams played, the Kings won 3-0. Mike Cammalleri scored his first goal in almost two weeks in that game; since then, he has 34 points in the last 24 games. With all the (well-deserved) praise directed towards Kopitar and Frolov, don’t leave out Cammalleri. He’s often derided because he’s too small and not fast, but the guy is a good hockey player. I would be pretty pissed if the Kings traded away a 24 year-old point-per-game player this off-season because they don’t feel he’s worth $4 million a year. Signing him is more important to me than signing a guy like Drury or Gomez, because they’ll be on the decline, while Cammalleri is likely to only get better.


Prediction: Ineptitude. Oh, and I think that either Brown or O’Sullivan is due.

Two power play goals from one penalty help Sharks to 5-2 win over BJs

Collision along the right boards


Sergei Fedorov went down in the first with a possible dislocated elbow


Faceoff in the Columbus zone late in the 3rd

This was an interesting game from a fans standpoint. Sharks defenseman Doug Murray rocked Jason Chimera, who had his head down at the Columbus blue line. It looked like a car crash on the slow motion replays showed on the big screen the rest of the night. Already without Rick Nash and goaltender Pascal Leclaire, the two reasons I wanted to see the Blue Jackets by the way, the loss of Fedorov for an extended period may be too much for Columbus to recover from.

After a goal in the third period, I realized it was a Ryane Clowe hat trick when the bill of a hat thrown from the upper deck hit me in the back of the head. About 10 other hats bounced off of the protective netting. It was not as bad as last year during a teddy bear toss at Stockton of the ECHL. After a few fans realized that they could not get their bear over the netting, they aimed for the first person near the glass they could find. Me. Taunting a few of the fans probably did not help matters much.

After a mistake as big as the referees made on Saturday, letting two power play goals result from one penalty, it would have been hard for the visiting team not to use that as an excuse. But the Blue Jackets would have been rolled regardless. Without Fedorov, Svitov and Modin tried to keep up the attack but the chances fizzled out in the second and third periods. The Sharks were still hurting from an 8-0 blowout loss to Phoenix a few games earlier, and if that can not help them remain motivated, GM Doug Wilson may make some changes.

A photo gallery and a recap from the game is up here. NoCal rules, SoCal sucks. Out.

Ducks Gameday—Columbus discovers Anaheim

Columbus Blue Jackets (15-21-4, 14th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (28-8-6, 1st in west)

(Our scene opens sometime in the 2006 offseason in the NHL war-room, where two lab technicians are busy putting together the second half of the 06-07 schedule, feeling rather proud of how well they had done on scheduling the first half.)

Tech 1: Oh crap, you know what I just realized?
Tech 2: What’s that?
Tech 1: Frick! Columbus is in the western conference!
Tech 2: Yeah, in the Central division. So what?
Tech 1: Damn, that means they have to play Anaheim four times this year!
Tech 2: Oh, what did you have scheduled for them thus far?
Tech 1: Uh, never mind. We can make this work!

And thus, tonight in Anaheim’s 43rd game of the season, we get to see those rumored Blue Jackets for the first of four games this year. (There is a second act to that play, by the way, where Tech 1 forgets about the match-up again, and recovers by fitting Columbus in three times over the Ducks’ last dozen games—all within the last 3 ½ weeks of the season).

Um, as for the match-up itself, Columbus fans should be relieved to know that two former Blue Jackets Francois Beauchemin and Todd Marchant are both out with injury, so there’s no need to feel tangible shame in getting fleeced by Brian Burke. Anaheim fans, on the other hand, should be relieved to know that former Mighty Duck Sergei Fedorov is still making in excess of $6M, so it was still a good trade for the mild-spending Ducks.

And though I am not really troubled by the Ducks’ 3-game losing streak, should tonight’s game turn sour, then we are looking at a pretty daunting week in DET, @NSH, @DAL, and COL. With the Sharks and Stars closing the division gap, it could make for an interesting finish.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Blue Jackets 2. Bryzgalov brings order back to the Anaheim nets, and goals by McDonald, Kunitz, Pahlsson, and Moen. Should be a pretty full house tonight, I’m guessing, as it is free hat night at Honda Center.

p.s. For Columbus coverage, check out Army of Ohio and End of the Bench.

Making it up to the Central

In an effort to atone for my previous cartoon, here’s a little Pacific breakdown vs. the Central Division.

Against Detroit and Nashville:

Team	W-L-O	Win%	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
Dallas	5-3-0	.625	2.75	2.50	15.5%	83.6%
Anaheim	4-3-1	.563	2.75	2.13	19.6%	82.6%
San Jose	3-4-1	.438	2.75	3.00	20.7%	79.0%
Phoenix	3-4-1	.438	2.75	3.25	23.0%	82.6%
Los Angeles	2-5-1	.313	3.00	4.38	10.7%	76.9%
Pacific Total	17-19-4	.475	2.80	3.05	17.9%	81.3%

Against Chicago, Columbus, and St. Louis:

Team	W-L-O	Win%	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
Dallas	10-0-2	.917	4.67	2.42	24.4%	84.7%
Los Angeles	10-2-0	.833	3.92	2.50	15.4%	86.7%
Anaheim	9-2-1	.792	3.50	2.42	14.5%	85.6%
San Jose	8-3-1	.708	3.75	2.92	14.7%	78.3%
Phoenix	7-4-1	.625	3.50	2.92	16.3%	75.4%
Pacific Total	44-11-5	.775	3.87	2.63	17.2%	82.8%

Interestingly, Dallas' win percentage against the bottom 3 teams is the same as Detroit's.

Los Angeles' win percentage is better than Nashville's.

Ah, the wonderfully diverse Central! More of a mess than any cartoon can capture.