Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Ducks Gamedays—A Poem for the Road Trip

Anaheim Ducks (2-5-0) at

  • Ottawa Senators (2-3-1), tonight
  • Montreal Canadiens (5-0-1), tomorrow
  • Columbus Blue Jackets (3-3-0), Monday
That's right, a three-in-one special! Like Rudy, I'm also off tomorrow moning for a few-day trip -- I'll be up in Oakland for a cousin's wedding. So you kids play nice!

Anyways, in lieu of anything analytical, here's a nice Friday poem to get you through next Monday. Enjoy!
Ode to the Road Trip

O h for the glory of two playoffs ago,
T aking Lord Stanley away from Big O.
T rue, going in the Sens seemed like a beast,
A lfie, Spezz, Heater – they ripped through the east!
W hile both teams have since seen some talent get scattered,
A t least we can say that we won when it mattered.

M on dieu! Les Canadiens, a hearty “whassup?”
O ne hundred years old? I’d better speak up.
N ow I know that SoCal isn’t Original Six,
T hus you probably can’t stand us insufferable pricks,
R eally what scares me is the Habs’ power play,
E specially if the Ducks think penalties are OK,
A nd while fans will drink at the game and in bars,
L et’s not go crazy and start burning cop cars.

C an I keep up this rhyming for one more damn stanza?
O f course! Time for some Blue Jacket bonanza!
L ast NHL team to feel postseason pride,
U gh! They’re still a thorn in the Ducks’ side.
M aybe it’s travel or maybe it’s fate,
B ut the Jackets have sure been tougher of late.
U sually I end with some nonsense prediction
S o Pahlsson scores ‘em all; 3-0 perfection!
Go Ducks.

29 comments:

Brad said...

Strong, until you tried to rhyme perfection and prediction.

Earl Sleek said...

Yeah, I was definitely tailing off. My first draft has prediction rhyming with Pahlsson, so I at least moved on from that.

I was kind of hoping nobody would read it through to the end :)

Ksy92003 said...

Hey, I've gotta write a poem for my English 1 class for Tuesday. Any chance I can borrow this one?

..The word verification for this post for me is "progr". Fuck Pronger!

Earl Sleek said...

Feel free to steal away, our copyright rules are nonexistent here at BoC. Although apparently, you may want to re-write the last two lines :)

brokeyard said...

if we lose all three you can do a Ducks version of "The Raven" when you return

Black Dog said...

Sweet.

Earl Sleek said...

if we lose all three you can do a Ducks version of "The Raven" when you return

Quoth the Duck: "Positivity!"

Yeah, we'll see what I do upon a return. At best the Ducks will have fought back to .500, and I don't want to think about the worst just yet.

I'm actually not that averse to a 1-2 record over the three games, because with a 3-7 record I'd definitely make a mock-up of this movie poster, with a decimal point conveniently inserted to reflect the team's winning percentage.

Brandon said...

Well done! *applauds

I really enjoyed the last two lines of the Montreal poem.

brokeyard said...

When you think about it, we really shouldn't lose any of these games. The only real threat is Montreal, but we beat San Jose, so teams with great records don't really scare me.

Earl Sleek said...

The only real threat is Montreal

Really, I'm most scared of Columbus. For some reason, most of the kick-to-the-groin games I can think of in recent years have come from the damn Blue Jackets.

Plus they're hidden on the back of a crazy Canadian trip, where they can be easily overlooked.

Earl Sleek said...

How the hell did Marchant score that craziness?

graceecho said...

How the hell did Marchant score that craziness?

I don't know because NHL GameCenter Live hates me. What happened?

Earl Sleek said...

An Ottawa defenseman (Kuba, I think) was catching the puck out of the air by the blue line and on its way down Marchant knocked it back in the air and it sneaked right past Auld. I don't think Marchant was even thinking of it as a shot, and I'm surprised it didn't go out of the rink.

And now, Pahlsson's scored. Leading scorer Rob Niedermayer! :)

Earl Sleek said...

*blink blink*

A power play goal? By Getzlaf?

My TV must be broken.

graceecho said...

Woohoo! My internet feed is driving me crazy, but the little blips that I'm getting are making me happy! A power play goal! By a top 6 forward! Woohoo!

Mr. Plank said...

Top of the line sir.

graceecho said...

Holy crap.

Earl Sleek said...

This feels like a Franky Rodriguez save. Nothing like drama!

graceecho said...

Hee. They were playing GOB's magic show music @ Scotiabank.

Phew, survival.

Earl Sleek said...

Positivity!

This game, btw, is why I'm not a believer in the GWG statistic. Getzlaf will get one for scoring the goal that made it 4-0, and it only turned out later that it was important.

I'd rather they just showed tie-breaking goals; goals scored when the score was even.

graceecho said...

This game, btw, is why I'm not a believer in the GWG statistic. Getzlaf will get one for scoring the goal that made it 4-0, and it only turned out later that it was important.

I'd rather they just showed tie-breaking goals; goals scored when the score was even.


Yeah, the GWG stat doesn't make much sense, esp in situations like this. But since there would be so many tie-breaking goals, scored in so many situations, would that stat tell us very much more than GWG?

Also, I went back and had to replay the Marchant goal 3 times before I understood what happened. In the post-goal celebratory huddle, Beauchemin has the funniest "what the hell just happened?" look on his face. You can read his lips saying, "Wow."

Earl Sleek said...

But since there would be so many tie-breaking goals, scored in so many situations, would that stat tell us very much more than GWG?

It would tell us who a coach trusts in a tie game, and with more data points I think it would be a more reliable gimmick towards "clutch". I dunno, it's not something I'm terribly antsy for, but I wouldn't mind it.

Sherry said...

The French in the Montreal one is a nice touch.

Hee. They were playing GOB's magic show music @ Scotiabank.

The Final Countdown. I guess it was appropriate given the timing :P

I'm so glad I decided to self-medicate during the game (read: booze. lots of it).

Earl Sleek said...

Yeah, that's about the extent of my French.

Sorry you had to turn to the bottle, Sherry, but look at the bright side (my specialty lately). The Sens scored one goal better than the last time the Ducks were in Ottawa.

graceecho said...

The Final Countdown. I guess it was appropriate given the timing :P

Thanks, Sherry! Now I see that it was appropriate. That song is such a Pavlovian trigger for me now.

Earl Sleek said...

And just a general FYI, in cased anyone missed the point of the poem, it's cleverly got three city names hidden within.

I try to make it obvious, but maybe people read too fast.

graceecho said...

Earl, you crack me up. Did anything in particular prompt the PSA?

Earl Sleek said...

One of my friends tried to razz me for poor poetry form -- not having the same number of lines in each stanza.

I had to tell him that it was Ottawa's fault for not having enough letters in their city name.

brokeyard said...

SENATORS - should have gone with that for Ottawa's poem.