Ducks Gameday—Mysterious Origin Comics, Part II

St. Louis Blues (5-5-0, t-10th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (8-5-1, 3rd in west)
Yeah, I was yelling "Blue-urns".

Well, another moderately-deserved two points snatched in L.A. last night, but I'll tell you -- the 2nd and 4th lines looked pretty outmatched through most of the night. Brendan Morrison is still struggling to produce, though I still don't mind his overall positional play, but I also think that Teemu's not fighting through enough checks, and Todd Marchant hasn't carried a scoring line since ever.

But hey, today's a new day and a new opponent -- the St. Louis Blues. Fun Fact: Did you know that St. Louis is in the Central Division, home of the Detroit Red Wings? Yeah, of course you knew that, but I'm horrible at segues.

But now that we're talking about Detroit, our friend, now mysteriously known as "The Swede" (though tireless research has revealed he doesn't live in Sweden), has produced another comic book masterpiece, this time focused on last week's encounter with the Red Wings. Now presented in thrilling two-part format!

Red Wings at Ducks, Oct. 29, 2008:

(click on either image to enlarge)
Overall: brilliant, but I especially like the look of the middle panel on the second page. Fantastic storyline progression, and it just looks damn cool. And I miss Brad May already.

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More internet slutting guest appearances: I'm still not very comfortable in front of an imaginary microphone, but I was a guest on another podcast yesterday afternoon before the Kings game -- The Rink Podcast Episode Six with Tom Luongo and James "Tapeleg" Grailian. We talked a bit about the Ducks and Sundin rumors (I'm not in until the final third), plus there will be a full-length bonus interview sometime later this week. Let's hear it for thrilling two-part formats!

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And lastly, I will put a proper post together sometime later for the Duck nominees, but I wouldn't fret too much about who is or isn't on the NHL All-Star Ballot. If you recall last year, I believe seven of the twelve popularly-elected starters actually showed up to the event, so it's not very meaningful anyways. Plus the vote is probably in boring one-part format, how lame.

Prediction: Maybe all Brendan Morrison needs is an encounter with Teemu's two favorite linemates, Andy McDonald and Paul Kariya, just to see how the Finn prefers to receive his passes. Ducks win, 3-2, in a thrilling two-part game (I dunno, let's say a pane of glass shatters midway through). Goals by Getzlaf, Pahlsson, and Montador.

Go Ducks.

Positivity!

Oh, wait! This team is only "mostly dead".
Wow. What a fucking game! Who would have guessed that I could attend a Ducks/Sharks game where Joe Thornton fought but Jody Shelley wouldn't? Great work by Steve Montador and Brad May in each instance.

Add in a Giguere shutout and a Pahlsson out-of-the-box breakaway goal (plus I didn't lose my wallet), and guess what I'm feeling? Some goddamn positivity!

Go Ducks.

Ducks in legal trouble

Well, I don't know what to make of it just yet, but apparently Ducks owner Henry Samueli is in a bit of hot water. He was named yesterday in a civil fraud complaint against the Broadcom Corporation, and has subsequently stepped down from his position of chairman.

I don't know what this really means for Samueli or the Ducks going forward, but that didn't stop me from making it (and other Duck legal troubles) from being the subject of today's PuckToon at Fanhouse. Enjoy, and if you are inclined, feel free to discuss Wild Wing's legal qualifications in the comments.

Ducks Gameday—Updated Logo

Phoenix Coyotes (38-37-6, 12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (46-27-8, 3rd in west)

Memo to the league: Pronger's back, so watch your head (and shins)! In fact, I've gone ahead and updated my re-designed Ducks logo to help remind opponents of the constant danger they are in:

Note: Ducking might not prevent getting stomped on.
Prediction: Ducks 3, Coyotes 2, in the last meaningless game of the year. Goals by the thugs: Pronger, Mayday, and Bertuzzi.

Go Ducks.

BoC Gameday—Earl and Rudy sound like idiots; Brad May acts like one

San Jose Sharks (46-21-10, 2nd in west) at Anaheim Ducks (44-26-8, 3rd in west)

I had a lot of fun Wednesday at the Kings game with Rudy, so much so that I've decided to go back to the Honda Center tonight for some more BoC fun, this time at the expense of the San Jose Sharks. I won't be in the same seats, but will be sporting the green shirt in 224 row R, thanks to a Red Wing buddy of mine who I suppose is advance-scouting the western competition. Stop by and say hi, if you dare.

It's a little bit lame that the Sharks have kept so far ahead in the Pacific race to end this season (the Ducks last year made it sporting and didn't clinch the Pacific until the final day last year), but I guess it works out for me and my alcohol-tempered stress levels. If the teams were neck-and-neck, I'd probably worry too much about the outcome, but as it stands, I don't think any game development will bother me particularly tonight. J.S. Giguere claims he's ready to play (somebody's feeling the Hiller pressure), but we'll see what Carlyle does. Part of me still wants to see a game out of J.S. Aubin.

Anyway, as part of our Kings-Ducks ultimate blogger experience, Rudy and I contributed (and I'm using that term in its loosest sense) to Finny & Connie's "I'm Not a Puck Bunny" podcast, speaking into some mystifying modern technology wired into an upside-down phone. Finny gave me the code to paste for the audio below—give it a listen (fair warning: if you're listening strictly for Earl and Rudy, we don't show up until the late 36-minute mark). She was also very apologetic that my closing "Heil Hiller" comment disappeared somewhere in the transfer process, but that's probably for the best. I've taken enough European heat (rightly so) for my Hiller/Hitler jokes in the past.

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See if you can find the spot where I say "Oh, if it goes to a shootout, I guarantee the Kings win."

ON ANOTHER NOTE: Not often do readers comment on old posts, and I'm not normally one to direct attention when it happens, but the following was left on a nearly-year-old Brad May-bashing post last night, and it's too juicy not to share:

"I'm a lawyer in Phoenix trying to collect a judgment my client obtained against the 'gutless puke of a thug' Brad May when May, drunk, punched my client, a uniformed sheriff's deputy, at a Scottsdale, Arizona nightclub, in 2002.

May is dodging the judgment (only about $30,000), and claims to be a resident of Canada. Does anybody know if he actually lives in Anaheim? Does he still do his golf tournament in Phoenix? Any information on May's "residency" would be most appreciated.

Dan Treon dbt@treonshook.com"

Wow. I don't really know anything about players' living or golfing habits, but I figure somebody might be able to help this guy out with some info, if you think it's a legit request. I will say it certainly sounds like a plausible story, but I've softened a lot on "Mayday" since that angry post, simply because he is one of the best Ducks in front of a microphone, as I shockingly learned on the championship DVD. I'm a sucker for player personality, and May's got it in spades. Still, Canadian residency is a lame excuse for punching then stiffing a cop (though I must say, I didn't know you could make $30k just by being punched).


Mayday naysays payday.
So readers, what's your verdict? Guilty, or is it too suspect that evidence is being gathered in the comments of an 11-month-old BoC post? And if he is guilty, based on what little we know, what's a fair punishment?

Let's get this case settled BoC-style (lots of rhetoric and little substance).

Prediction: The last four Duck games have ended in 2-1 final scores, but I won't be swayed. Ducks 4, Sharks 2. (Insert goalie name here) has a stellar game; goals by Selanne, Bergeron, Pahlsson, and Mayday. Sleek manages to go a whole game without being interviewed or suckerpunched.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Poetic Justice for Bertuzzi

Nashville Predators (2-3-0, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (3-4-1, t-4th in west)

As usual a matchup with Minnesota produced more injuries. Todd Marchant is day-to-day with a bone bruise, and Todd Bertuzzi got put on the IR with a concussion.

Self-pity is for the weak, though. Poetry is for the strong.

Ode to Bertuzzi's Concussion

T his is a story of circular fate,
O f passion-turned-deadly and unbridled hate,
D umb ol’ Brad May put a price on a head,
D umb ol’ Bertuzzi nearly knocked Steve Moore dead.

B ut skip ahead forward a couple of years,
E ach of the thugs has resumed their careers,
R egrettably Burke kept May’s antics alive,
T o see him knock Johnsson right out of G5.
U pset Derek Boogaard saved up his bloodlust,
Z eroed in on Bertuzzi and got him concuss'd.
Z ip to the lesson—This Karma’s hardcore,
I t got Todd Bertuzzi to start feeling Moore.

Which Nashville team is going to show up tonight? The team that outscored its first two opponents by a combined 9-1 or the team that lost its next three by a combined score of 17-8? For some always solid Nashville perspective, visit the Forechecker.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Predators 2. Goals by Miller, Getzlaf x2, and Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Is it time for the Ducks to get a logo?

I must admit, I was pretty inspired by Pfizer's mother-of-all-Canucks-logos (happy birthday, Alanah!); it really got me to thinking--shouldn't the Ducks get back to the logo game? If you recall, last summer the Ducks introduced their new look uniforms, featuring a webbed-foot text which was at least successful in reminding absolutely nobody of Disney, but still it lacked a true logo. Instead of a picture of an actual duck, we instead were treated with forensic evidence that suggests that duck-like creatures may have once inhabited the earth.

Anyway, now that the team has divorced itself from the Disney movie, I can't really say what association the team or the city of Anaheim has with actual ducks. But with the right logo, maybe we could re-associate the team name with the actual identity of the team--we could stop pretending that “Duck” refers to some animal, and instead acknowledge that it better reflects an appropriate action to take when May, Bertuzzi, or Pronger is skating up to you.

So here's my proposed Anaheim logo for '07-'08. Enjoy!:

If anyone has a cleaner Bertuzzi shot, send it to me and I'll gladly work it in.

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I've been spending a lot of time this summer commenting at Interchangeable Parts--I'm not sure how best to describe it, except the commenters there are hilarious; it's really a blog to hang out at. Pookie and Schnookie have been diligently running a summer series "118 reasons why we love hockey", where they celebrate different aspects of today's NHL (or hockey in general). Anyway, I got to write one as a reader submission, so if you're interested you can see one reason why I love hockey, though if you cruise the archives you'll see that they've got a lot of better-written posts than mine.

Byproduct of Boredom: Anaheim Ducks Comics

Evil, keep your head up.

To be continued?

Ducks avoid suspensions on the Tonight Show

Wow. Between Jay Leno's huge chin, Brad May's knack for suckerpunching, and Chris Pronger's head hunting elbows, I'm surprised this segment went off without a hitch.

You can watch the clip here, though I'll warn you, it's nothing worth getting excited over.

Brad May: Do I really have to root for this a$$hole?

As this series shifts to Vancouver, so with it comes the winds of May…Brad May, that is. May is eligible to return to play for Anaheim after serving his three-game suspension for the uncalled-for suckerpunch of Minnesota defenseman and minutes-leader Kim Johnsson.

Now I have been very critical of the NHL’s light punishment in this matter—three games was the shortest sentence available to avoid a Boogaard retaliation—but in the NHL’s defense, it was a punch that hardly anyone saw or had footage of; there just haven't been many good pictures of the actual attack. There was a multi-player scrum going on right in front of the benches, and it wasn’t until the cameras zoomed out again that the injured Johnsson (who did not play again in the series) was noticed lying on the ice. Watching the game, none of the TV replays seemed to be able to locate or isolate the suckerpunch, so the NHL may have been going on testimony rather than on hard evidence.

Well, I’ve found some shots that I think people need to see; most of these shots come from a reader submission on the Minnesota Star Tribune’s Wild blog, and in my mind are among the few pieces of actual evidence of May’s crime. I do not believe that the NHL had evidence like this when making its decision, and I don’t think many hockey fans have seen what actually happened.

Ugly. Gruesome. Horrible. Despicable.

Obviously as a Ducks fan, I have a huge moral dilemma here. As a hockey fan (or even as a human being) this is a tough act to forgive or overlook—to ruthlessly attack and injure a career non-fighter with a concussion history—it goes against every notion of the 'code', and obviously the NHL’s 3-game punishment does not do justice to the crime committed.

But having said that, the fact that May deserves a stiffer punishment does not make him any less available going into G3. I think he is among the Ducks’ top-12 forwards at this point in time, and if he does dress, it’s going to be awfully tough for me not to root for him—I still want the Ducks to win, after all.

So I guess I’d like some input on my inner debate here: the question is not so much “Does Brad May deserve a longer suspension?” because the answer is a pretty easy “Yes.” But rather, now that May has served his insufficient suspension, what next? Should the Ducks dress him? And if so, how do I cheer for him?

No matter what, I refuse to hide the evidence. Everyone really ought to know: Brad May is a gutless puke of a thug. The Ducks may be able to use him towards a cup run, but other than his contributions toward that, I hate him.

Comment away, people. Let’s find a way to get the Brad Mays out of the game.

Sleek to NHL: You are WEAK!

Sorry, one last out-the-door post, then I swear I am done 'til Monday:

Brad May did a very bad thing, sucker-punching Kim Johnsson in the dying minutes of G4 after the game was well-decided on the scoreboard. Johnsson, who has probably never been in an NHL fight, will be out for G5 and his status for the rest of the series is probably in question. You can read my feelings in the comments here, but rest assured, I am not going to try to defend or excuse Brad May's actions, and my personal opinion was that he should be suspended seven games (and wouldn't have minded ten).

But what does the weak-sauce NHL give him? 3 games. The absolutely weakest punishment possible, because that's the bare minimum number of games required to avoid a Boogaard-May scene this postseason.

Avoiding that scene is fine, but to only make it the bare minimum? That strongly suggests that the NHL would have liked to have given him less for the incident, and that's pretty bullshit.

Sleek out.