Mike Camalleri Gets Traded, Rudy Kelly Does a Live Blog

Calgary gets Cammalleri, the Kings gets the 12th overall pick from Anaheim, Anaheim gets 2 selections later in the 1st round. Holy shit. Good luck in Calgary, Mike.

Who do the Kings draft? Colton Teubert, maybe. This shit is crazy.

Live-blog Edit:

Fuck it, I'm going to watch this anyway, might as well write about it.

-I forgot that the Kings interviewed the 2nd tier forward prospects, so Lombardi might be focusing on one of them.

-Len Barrie owns the Lightning now? How the fuck does this guy have any money? I remember when he was on the Kings and he almost killed my poor brother. He'll probably end up trading Vinny Lecavalier and eating Stamkos or something.

-Doughty! Great right-hand shot, incredibly smart, should line up next to Jack Johnson in the future. Woohoo!

-If Doughty goes straight to the NHL, does that mean Hickey is ticketed for Juniors again? I can't imagine the Kings breaking in Doughty, Hickey and Johnson next season.

-I don't understand why people keep bringing up Doughty being fat. The best hockey player I ever played with looked fat with his shirt off, but he was a Goddamn dynamo on skates. The muscles you use for hockey aren't the ones that show up when you're at the beach. Besides, I'd rather have a guy who is smart and needs to get in shape than a guy who's cut but still needs to develop hockey sense.

-I'm still not sure what to think of that Olli Jokinen trade. I like Jokinen even though he looks like a giant baby because he used to be a King, but I guess I'll have to start hating him. That's an awful lot of defense for Phoenix to give up though, isn't it? Oh well, I guess I'll just assume it's retarded. That's called professionalism, friends.

-Jesus, couldn't they put the 1st rounders a little closer to the stage? Poor Pierre McGuire is going to have an aneurysm coming up with facts while the players stumble down to the platform.

-Can we send some A/V guys up to Canada? I haven't watched a single NHL event that isn't stilted and awkward as hell.

-Oh hey, you know who the GM of the New York Islanders is? Garth Snow. That never fails to crack me up.

-Does it creep anyone else out how much Bob McKenzie and Pierre McGuire know about these kids? I would get a restraining order if I were a potential draftee. Do they have Dateline in Canada?

-Ah, the smooth baritone of John Davidson. Hey, what the hell? No one wants to hear some guy named Jarmo, put Davidson back on.

-God, Canadians make me so mad because they're so unassuming. I mean, Alex Pietrangelo said he's never owned a car! Where the hell are all the assholes? I get the feeling I could rob a bank up there just by walking in and saying, "Hey, I'm American, give me your money." It's an entire country of Ned Flanders'.

-My brother pointed out another person that looks like Nikita Filatov:



-That was sad. They showed Cliff Fletcher, the GM for Toronto until Brian Burke jumps ship in Anaheim, on the jumbotron in Ottawa and the entire crowd booed him. He looked around confused, either because he didn't know why people were booing or because he didn't know where he was. Either way, don't boo an old man, Ottawa. That's just rude.

-Someone needs to get Pierre McGuire a towel; I think he just got a little too excited over Luke Schenn.

-I guess I was a little too hard on Pierre McGuire; Schenn was named Best Defenseman of this last year's World Junior Championships... no, wait, that was Drew Doughty. Maybe it's because Luke Schenn played all by himself in a shutdown role... no wait, he played with Thomas Hickey. Well, Luke Schenn did get picked for Toronto, and that's something.

-Holy shit, RJ Umberger was worth a 1st round draft pick? How the fuck does that happen? Columbus better hope Brian Campbell signs with an Eastern Conference team.

-There we go, now there's an asshole. Nikita Filatov doesn't take any of your stupid Canadian questions, TSN. They asked him who he modeled his game after and he said Sidney Crosby. Really, Nikita? You model your game after a guy 2 years older than you? You're not Nikolai Gogol, you're supposed to make sense.

-Colin Wilson gets drafted by Nashville and Pierre McGuire takes a second to mention that although Wilson was born in the United States and wants to play for the US, he should really be considered Canadian because he learned how to play in Canada. This is awesome. I guess McGuire's technically correct, although I can't blame Wilson for wanting to be American; who wouldn't?

-I think it would be awesome if Wayne Gretzky just snapped one time and shouted, "Shut the fuck up! I know I'm fucking amazing, stop cheering for me! I always hated you people anyway!" Of course, you know he loves it because he always announces the draft picks. Give Rick Tocchett a shot, will ya?

-Aaaand we have our first mullet of the night. Who had a Dane in their pool? Congratulations, Michael Boedker; you truly are a "Great Dane." *Gun shot

-Wait... did Wayne Gretzky just call his goaltender "Evgeni Brzygalov?" What the fuck? You're the COACH OF THE TEAM, who do you fuck that up? Also, it was kind of sad that he mentioned that they traded for Jokinen to match up with other top centers in the Pacific and then mentioned Ryan Getzlaf, Joe Thornton, Mike Modano... and that's it. C'mon, man, Modano's not better than Kopitar!

-Wait, hold on, Luc Bourdon died? When the fuck did that happen? Was I in Europe? That sucks. Also, I think you can guarantee you're going to hell when you hear a prospect died and the first thing you think is, "Wow... thank God the Kings didn't trade for him." I'm sorry.

-Huh. They were talking to Cody Hodgson, a forward picked by Vancouver, and they casually dropped that he was probably the best player at the World Juniors. I think that's news to Viktor Tikhonov, the MVP of that tournament. Jesus, Canada, you won the fucking thing, let it go.

-You know what's funny? Kyle Beach was widely assumed to be ticketed for Anaheim, not because he was skilled or because he fit a need; it was purely because he was an asshole. He ended up going to Chicago, but that's quite the rep they've got going in Anaheim.

-Okay, Kings are up. Weee!

-Looks like the Kings are trading their #12 pick. Aaaand.... it's the #12 for the 13th pick and a 3rd rounder in '09. Is Dean Lombardi some sort of evil genius? Sometimes I think he's smarter than everyone else, other times I think he's John Nash.

-I'm calling Zach Boychuk right here at #13.

-I'm calling myself as an idiot. Colton Teubert goes instead. Let's see what we have now:

O'Sullivan-Kopitar-Brown
Frolov-Boyle-Purcell
Cliche-Lewis-Moller
Westgarth-Holloway-Simmonds

Doughty-Johnson
Hickey-Teubert
Martinez-Piskula

Bernier
Zatkoff
Quick

I'm aroused. Can I just get in a time machine and hop forward 3 years?

-No "Brian Murray lisps" joke, no "Brian Murray lisps" joke...

-Oh hey, the Ducks are up. Haha, Brian Burke started off by saying, "It's great to be back in Ottawa." I don't care what anyone says, I like the guy; he's funny and he's an asshole. Anyway, the Ducks draft some douche bag and he'll be a bust. Next!

-This is confusing: why would a guy named "Chet Pickard" be a perfect name for Nashville to draft? Chet is a name associated with New England, not the South. I don't get Canada.

-Paul Holmgren looks like a cross between Kirk Douglas and Bret Hull.

-Michael Del Zotto gets drafted by the Rangers and proceeds to take 9,000 minutes to get to the podium. "Hey, Adrian Brody+Sydney Crosby, hurry the fuck up, I got some drinkin' to do!" That was Chet the Squirrel; I kinda wish I hadn't invited him.

-Alright, Chet and Squirrely both overruled me, so I'm going to have to bow out. Just to recap: the Kings are going to win the Stanley Cup in the next 5 years. You guys think I'm an asshole now? Wait 'til the Kings are actually good.

C'mon hockey deadline...

I know the NHL trade deadline isn't up til Tuesday afternoon, but I have a feeling that this year's "frenzy" is going to be a letdown.

With Washed up Shaq, Pau Gasol and Jason Kidd dominating sports trading headlines in the last few weeks, it's hard to imagine the NHL topping the former No Balls Association this year. Still, NHL GMs could at least try to foolishly throw together panic deals for the sake of my entertainment.

Seriously, the best deal better not be the Cory Stillman to Ottawa trade. It already seems like Mats Sundin and Tomas Kaberle both did their parts in killing the fun for everyone. Now, who do we have...Mary Ann Hossa? Blargh.

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Stars beat writer Mike Heika put Hossa to Stars as something of a dream scenario, but I cannot help but disagree. Yes, Hossa's a talented player and a noted two-way player.

But he's also exactly what the Stars don't need: a great regular season performer who fades during the playoffs. It's telling enough for me that the Ottawa Senators dealt him for Dany Heatley less than two years after the death of Daniel Snyder because they didn't think Hossa deserved elite player money.

When I think of Hossa I think of Jermaine O'Neal in the NBA: a good player you don't want to pay "franchise player" money. And that's exactly what the Dallas Stars would have to do to retain Hossa.

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That Heika column made me feel a little better about my Olli Jokinen post, as he did list Olli as one of the possible guys on the trading block. I stand by my stance that, if the Stars could move enough salary to get Jokinen, he'd be an absolutely fantastic fit for this team.

Let's face it, the window is closing on the Stars. Their best players are either in their high 20s (Morrow, Ribeiro) or 30s (Good lord, I didn't know Marty Turco's almost 33 already!).

Yes, the Stars look good right now. But as I seem to remember, they looked pretty solid last year but got bumped in the first round. And remember when they got booted by the Colorado Avs that year they broke team records for wins? Yeah, they looked pretty good going into the playoffs then, too.

So, rather than being satisfied with a solid team, the Stars need to give themselves that extra push. The window is closing - Zubov and Turco aren't getting any younger. Jere and Mike are damn near dead.

The Red Wings are reeling with injuries. The Ducks have bad karma with Niedermayer and Selanne's vacations. I admit that the Sharks have a weird Stanley Cup vibe to them (to me at least), but seem beatable still. And the Wild probably won't ever really go for the glory, since those Minnesota folks will keep buying tickets regardless.

So why not try to win the Cup this year? I know Tom Hicks doesn't care much about winning anymore, but why not one more run for old Mikey Mo? Another Cup would be a nice trophy to go along with his other, uh, trophy.

The Stars should absolutely make a move.

******

Also, I reached a milestone of sorts, as I think I might have made my first ever good prediction by saying that Evgeni Malkin was making a strong case for MVP consideration after he gave the LA Kings a beating. Now that he's leading the league in points, Malkin for MVP talk is gaining traction from, you know, people who aren't idiots.

Being that I make a lot of foolish predictions, this is a pretty special moment for me. Even if my point was as salient and unique as "children love candy." Feel free to shower me with Gatorade in the next week.

Consider yourselves part of irrelevant history.

Jokinen and the Yotes

My computer went kaput last week, so I was unable to follow up on my promise for a bad Olli Jokinen-related headline (it would have been: "The Stars should trade for Olli: I'm not Jokinen!" by the way). For that, I apologize.

So instead, I'll include that Jokinen thought along with another tidbit from the NHL/BoC:

• When I decided to start covering the Stars, I made some harsh jokes at the expense of the Phoenix Coyotes. After watching them take it to the Stars, who happen to be one of the hottest teams in the NHL, I must say: a Battle of the Pacific blog might be more and more worthwhile now.

The Coyotes have more than just Ilya Bryzgalov, although he probably sparked Phoenix's climb to puck relevance. That Mueller kid is another great rookie wearing Lindros's No. 88, Jovocop is having a startling resurgence and Shane Doan has a really cool beard. Plus, Wayne Gretzky seems like he dyes his hair and Rick Tocchet looks like he's going to whack somebody. This team has some definite upside.

Battle of Pacific next year? Just throwin' it out there...

• Since I'm lazy and dumb, I don't really know much about the Stars' cap situation. And a case can be made that Dallas is looking so great right now that it might be foolish to mess with a good thing.

But after watching a startlingly sluggish Detroit Red Wings team on Sunday, it made me feel that much more confident that the Stars should not let current success deter them from making that one extra trade that would make them a Western Conference playoff force.

At first, I thought Mats Sundin would be a great fit and that Michael Ryder could follow in Mike Ribeiro's footsteps and go from struggling Hab talent to burgeoning Dallas Star.

But then I remembered that, of all the teams in the NHL, the Stars might resemble the Finnish Olympic team the most. Not only do they have a crapton of Finns (relatively speaking), they also play that smart, defense-first style that every non-Selanne Finn seems to adhere to.

So, after much deliberation I decided that Olli Jokinen would be the best target for the Stars to snatch up before the trade deadline (again, under the assumption he could fit into their cap and the Panthers would once again decide to foolishly trade their best player).

A quick glance at his statistics indicates that, honestly, there aren't many players on the Stars roster who would be "untouchable" in such a trade (at least straight up). The only guys I'd say "no way" to are probably Marty Turco and Brendan Morrow. But that's more for the Ambassador of Fun to decide.

Depending on who you trade, there are quite a few options for Jokinen linemates. You could opt for the Finning Hair Line (good god I deserve to die for that) of Jere Lehtinen - Olli Jokinen - Jussi Jokinen. You could keep the productive Morrow-Ribeiro combo together and give yourself a nice 1-2 line punch by having Modano or Jokinen move to a wing and form a line together. There's a lot of exciting possibilities.

Jokinen would be a great trade move because of his aforementioned Finn background and his good fit as a power forward. You also cannot look past the fact that Jokinen is wallowing in awful Florida Panther obscurity, and must be hungry to finally play for a good team. Couple that with the Stars growing exasperation over playoff failures and I think you'd have a perfect fit.

Another exciting factor is that Olli Jokinen wears the 'C' in FLA. Just look at the leadership in Dallas, just counting former/current NHL captains: Jokinen, Modano, Morrow, Stu Barnes, Matt Norstrom and Jeff Halpern. That's a lot of leadership for one team.

No one wants to give the Stars credit for this year's amazing success, but put Jokinen on this team and the West better be scared...just throwin' it out there.