Dustin Brown oomfed Jussin Jokinen at the World Championships right as the final horn sounded. It was probably unnecessary and rude and all that stuff, but it wasn't against a King so I don't really care. The real story was after the hit (around the 2:00 minute mark), when Teemu Selanne came out of nowhere to throw his fists in Brown's face. Brown did not take kindly to it and repaid Selanne a little bit later in the clip. Should make next year a little more interesting. This means that the only Pacific team that has not been involved in an international incident so far is Dallas, for obvious reasons... although, I guess Jokinen used to play for them. Screw it, that counts. The Pacific Division: More Harmful to International Relations Than the Assassination of Franz Ferdinand!
The U.S. played Slovenia in the World Championships yesterday. It was a ho-hum 5-1 victory for the Americans (Brown and O'Sullivan with assists, Kopitar with a goal), but the incident I'd like to bring to people's attention was a hit laid on Kopitar by Keith Ballard, defenseman for the Phoenix Coyotes. He got a penalty for a hit to the head (what the fuck?), plus a 10-minute misconduct. Now, I'm nothing if not reasonable, so I'd just like to ask Ballard one question:
*ahem
*takes sip of water
What in the everloving fuck is wrong with you? You're trying to hit people in the head in a titty-fucking World Championships game? You're a lunatic. It's the World Championships. Nobody except insecure Canadians gives a rat's dick about the World Championships. I'm not even mad (okay, I'm mad), I'm more worried for you. You just tried to take out the most popular person in Slovenia; you might as well have taken a shoe out of Raitis Ivanan's mouth. If I were you, I'd just pack it in and shack up in Montana and never show your face again, because you're going to get gutted by some guy with a name like Blaz Jernej. Slovenians fucked up Yugoslavia, you think they'd have any qualms about shoving your intestines in your mouth? Based on my knowledge of Slovenia (and my racism), I'm assuming they're already delving into the national treasury to send their army (his name's Srecko) to literally bust your balls. You're doomed.
(Wouldn't it have been awesome if Brown had kicked Ballard's ass after the hit? I would've named my first kid Dustin.)
Dustin Brown and Patrick O'Sullivan both contributed goals in a 5-1 ass-kicking over the infernal Swedes. The game was a tune-up for the US squad before the World Championships kick off. As an avowed nationalist and Norwegian descendant, I applaud this win. O'Sullivan's goal was assisted by Kessel and Mueller, which I guess means he's playing on the top line? Yeah, why not. Brown was assisted by Nathan Gerbe, also known as, "Hey, look at that little guy on Boston College! Hahaha!"
The Swedes will probably regroup and should still be competitive at the World Championships. I contacted one player for a comment and he said only, "Ordy bordy!" Apparently that means something in Swede.
(Is calling someone from Sweden a "Swede" considered derogatory? I sure hope so.)
Anyang Halla right wing #96 Song Dong Hwan was lighting it up in the Asia League Ice Hockey, at least he was in 2005-06 clinching the league scoring title with 32 goals. Unfortunately Dong Hwan was called up to serve in the Korean army for the 2006-07 and 2007-08 ALIH seasons. Compulsory service of just over 2 years is mandory for all adult males in South Korea over the age of 18.
Will the "Asian Rocket" pick up where he left off, and challenge the dominant Japanese Oji Paper, Nippon Paper Cranes, Seibu Price Rabbits or Nikko Ice Bucks teams? Anyang Halla is one of two teams based in South Korea, along with High1 (named after a newly developed series of ski and golf resorts). Anyang Halla, formerly Halla Winia (a refrigerator company), won 5 Korean Hockey Championships before moving to the Asian Hockey League and finishing 3rd in 2003-04. Based in Anyang City an hour south of the capital Seoul, Anyang Halla finished the 2007-08 ALIH season in 5th place registering a 14-14-2 record (30 game season). Anyang Halla was swept by the Nippon Paper Cranes 3-0 in the best-of-five first round of the playoffs (4-3, 2-1, 2-1).
According to the offical website, the Nippon Paper Cranes defeated regular season champion Seibu to advance to the finals against Oji Paper. Cranes goaltender Jamie McLennan said of the finals berth, "We knew it would be the toughest game in this series. SEIBU is an elite team being on a higher level than us, so I have conditioned myself well to be in top shape for the series. Oji Paper is one of the best teams I've seen, but we have a chance to win as we did win over SEIBU. With humility, I'll try to be well prepared for the finals."
The ALIH Championship Finals begin on Saturday, March 15th in Tomakomai, Japan. The "Asian Rocket" Song Dong Hwan will be on the shelf until the 2008-09 ALIH season. My brother Soren has traveled to South Korea the last two years to study Judo, I might draft him to provide a little hockey coverage if he makes the trip a third time. Follow the ALIH Finals on the official Oji Paper and Nippon Paper Cranes websites.
This post would not be complete without a bizarre Korean We are the World team song by Anyang Halla, Flying Halla? A few Czech teammates are thrown in for good measure, Patrik Martinec, Jaroslav Nedved, Daniel Seman and Pavel Falta. The official Anyang Halla website is available at anyanghalla.com.
A brief China Sharks update is up on my blog here. Also note the first youtube highlight video I posted, featuring a different rocket, is nearing 30,000 page views. My Godzilla vs Patrick Marleau highlight video needs to catch up. "I'd rather put a 'C' on Godzilla -- he's a better leader, too." - Earl Sleek. *** Ahem. Cough.
