It's funny, I don't even like basketball that much. Yet here I am, up at 6 in the morning screaming obscenities at some ugly Greek for knocking Dwyane Wade to the ground (and I hate Dwyane Wade). I think I now know how Canadians feel when they're watching their national hockey team, because I know that we're the best basketball nation around but I still feel the need to validate it in this tournament. I caught myself yesterday but I came this close to saying that the US could have entered two teams in this tournament and medaled twice. It's not even that I care if the US doesn't win, it's just that I don't want other nations to stick it to us if we lose. It's like anti-shaudenfreude.
As a proud Jingoist, these Olympics have been pretty exciting. I was legitimately excited by the men's 4x200 freestyle relay (the one where the US won by milliseconds) and I appreciate that I can see women's beach volleyball or men's water polo at any time of the day. I could do without all these Chinese people, though. It's bullshit, they're just training people to win events no one cares about. It's not a gold in the 98 kg weightlift, it's a gold in wasting your life. I'm pretty sure the US will overtake China in the overall medal count once we unleash our army of track athletes but there's no way we're catching them in gold medals.
Oh well, at least we've won a few medals. Wouldn't you be really embarrassed if your nation trained and trained and then couldn't even win one lousy bronze? That would be pretty pathetic. What's that? Oh:
I'm one of those guys that cares too much about sports. And considering the fact that you are reading this post, you probably care a little bit too much as well.
Sometimes, it's important to remember that in a lot of cases, fans simply do care more about the outcome of a game than most of the players. Sure, fans don't have to take cortisone shots to numb the pain that comes with going from shift to shift and game to game; a lot of us simply live and die with every save and every goal.
But as I beat up on Todd Bertuzzi and Rudy grits his teeth when Jordan Staal gets nominated for a Calder over Anze Kopitar, it's pretty amusing to think that a lot of these athletes would roll their eyes or pull our shirts over our heads and gives us a beating for being such sports nerds.
The (typically) tragic story of James Felton is one of those sports stories that "puts things in perspective" and is generally a fascinating read.
According to Rana, the criticism fueled her husband's drinking. And it mixed badly with a secret no one in the neighborhood or gym knew. For as long as she'd known him, Rana says, Felton didn't like basketball. Didn't like playing it, never watched it, tried to avoid talking about it. He didn't even own a ball. "James lived in denial about basketball," she says. "Every day, he'd pretend it was something he liked. It ate him alive. Having to do what you don't want to do will make anyone sick."
It won't stop me from making cheesy and unfair jokes. And it won't keep me from being endlessly fascinated about a glorified children's game.
But it is funny to realize that a lot of these guys could give a rat's ass what we think (or are more interested in that cougar in Row 3 than a "must win game").
Just want to take a moment to tell the NBA to get fucked for ripping the SuperSonics out of the NBA. Let this be a warning to all of us that it doesn't matter how well you fill your arena or how ardently you support your team, if an owner and league want to move because you didn't cater to their demands, well then fuck you. This isn't the fault of the people of Seattle, and it's not the fault of the people of Oklahoma City; this is a battle between owners who legally own the team and the fans who make professional sports possible.
Haha, basketball players are pussies. This, of course, is from last night's NBA Final, where Pierce had a booboo on his knee and acted like he was going to die. I think the fact that Paul Pierce came back later in the game made it worse, because if you're going to flail and cry like that you better need hours upon hours of surgery. The guy who got his arm shot off in the beginning of Saving Private Ryan didn't cry like that. I haven't been this embarrassed for a basketball player since Dwyane Wade separated his shoulder and needed a wheelchair to leave the court.
***
"I don't really care, [Tiger] said with an impish smile. "It's all about the Dodgers. I don't think anybody really watches hockey anymore."
Dude, you play golf. Shut up. This is like if the captain of the Chess Club talked shit on the wrestling team because he won the 34th annual Chesstopia! competition. It doesn't matter how popular you are, and how many little green jackets you win, because you still play golf and are therefore a huge pussy. Golf is what real athletes play to relax. And as long as this guy is a competitor in your little game, I don't think you have the right to say anything.
And we all know that nobody wants to watch the Dodgers right now, because they are terrible. Shouldn't he root for the Angels, anyway?
***
The Kings traded TJ Fast to the Blues for a 5th round draft pick. Fast was a 2nd round pick in 2005 (is it sad that I knew that without looking it up?) and played well for the Tri-City Americans of the WHL this past season. This is one of those weird inexplicable trades that happen every once in a while, of which Brian Burke is king. Is Dean Lombardi doing John Davidson a favor so he'll owe him in the future? Is Dean clearing up roster space for the plethora of draft picks we have in the upcoming draft? Am I thinking way too much about the trade of a marginal prospect? The answer to all the above is "yes." Another question with a "yes" answer: am I gorgeous?
And I'll keep this short, because I know you people don't care: Britain is old and rainy and they call their bathrooms toilets, which I feel is a little uncouth. Norway has a ton of tall hot blonde chicks and is sunny for 21 hours a day. And I saw a fjord, which is the greatest word ever.
There's an article in today's OC Register (way to go, Earl) comparing the NHL playoffs and the NBA playoffs. While I could do without all the "NBA players are selfish, NHL players are great" (it comes across as vaguely racist to me), he does bring up a good point about how much more intense the NHL playoffs are than the NBA. You'll see more physical play after one whistle in hockey than you'll see in an entire NBA game. I don't know, I think I like that feeling that at any moment, someone might get punched in the face. There's that line that other sports don't cross that makes them less appealing to me. I'm a barbarian, I guess.
This also reminded me about a soccer match I was watching the other day. Two guys were going for the ball in the corner and one kind of shoved the other to the ground. The guy who got shoved bolted up and got in the other guy's face. There was no one else around, though, so they both kind of looked around after a while as if to say, "Hey, someone break us up." Finally the ref made it over and pulled them apart while they were still jawing. I'm sorry, but I can't respect a sport where guys aren't giving it every last thing they got.
Mike's article earlier is another point: guys don't sit out NHL playoff games because they're in pain. The judgment call isn't if it hurts, it's if they can't physically play. For example, a broken foot? You play because you can still do everything you need to do physically. Basically, the only things you're going to miss games for is if your head or your knees are fucked up. Anything else? You man up and lace up your skates. In contrast, Kobe has been lauded as a warrior because he is playing through an injury to his pinkie. That wouldn't be brought up in hockey because you're expected to play through something like that. That's why hockey is awesome.
Yesterday was a watershed day in the world of sport, with all 4 major sports in action. Still, I can't help but be depressed at the state of sport in America today. I mean, the hockey was awesome (Carey Price LOL), but I was overall left unfulfilled. The problem is, with the exception of hockey, no other sport is actually entertaining. Here are the three most boring things in sport:
A) The NFL Draft. I mean seriously, between Chris Berman's retarded ramblings and Mel Kiper's ridiculous hair (although I enjoy the daggers Kiper puts into Todd McShay after McShay completely destroys a Kiper opinion), this has to be the shittiest thing on TV, right? What I'd rather watch:Matt Schulze in anything ever. ("Hmmm, I like him.")
B) A baseball game. I love Vin Scully, but a mallet couldn't knock me out more effectively than the sound of his voice. I mean seriously, who can actually watch an entire baseball game? It's okay if you're actually doing something constructive with it on in the background, but man alive is it boring.
What I'd rather watch: That scene with Kathie Bates in About Schmidt (you know which one... ugh...)
C) An NBA playoff game. Now, it's not so boring in and of itself, it's the fabricated passion that bothers me. You'll see some asshole drive the lane, get brushed, immediately fall to the ground holding his pussy, and that's supposed to be entertaining? Sasha Vujacic disgraced Anze Kopitar and the nation of Slovenia today when he took an elbow to the head and fell like someone dropped a bag of hammers on his head. Honestly, who thinks these guys are real competitors?
What I'd rather watch: A marathon of Small Wonder... although, I'd probably prefer that over most anything.
(Also called "I almost wrote a whole post without talking about Pronger!")
1. Battle of California gets challenged.
Hoo boy, I may have gone and screwed us over in a bit of a blog bet. Six sports blogs will each be submitting an NCAA college basketball bracket into a machine, and whoever wins will get authorship of all the losers' blogs for a 24-hour stretch.
Here's the problem: I know almost nothing about college basketball; I pride myself in that ignorance. Other than hockey, the only sport I marginally follow is Ninja Warrior, and I'm pretty shaky there. As such, I managed to talk it down from 5 brackets per blog to just one bracket per blog, figuring that would increase our chance of an upset and hoping that one of our merry cast of writers had some clue towards bracket-busting. Still, we're going to get creamed. Here's the opposition BoC is up against, and my one-minute-glance summary of why they'll beat us. Where appropriate, I linked to their pre-gloat post of how excited they are to murder us BoCers (in most cases, not very).
The Play in California(multi-author, multi-sport) -- These guys started up this contest, and they're sure to beat us. Plus, any blog that claims to be "weak on hockey" has to be super-strong on college basketball. We're toast.
Gossip on Sports(single author, multi-sport)--I knew we lost this one just looking at the categories. Jodie's written about every sport, including cricket and cycling! Damn! There's bound to be a lot of bracket-savvy there.
The Sports Lounge(single author, multi-sport)--Hoo boy, this guy has written more about this bracket than I have ever written about basketball. This guy could probably beat me straight up with half of his picks blank.
Bears Necessity(single author, single sport)--A college football blog, from the looks of things, and doesn't seem too concerned about the hoops side of things, but you can never be too careful with these collegiate sports: they're always talking. We're doomed.
Apples and Moustaches(multi-author, multi-sport)--I say "multi-sport" very loosely. I caught a football and a baseball reference, but really this blog's charm can be found in its subtitle: "Because nothing says 'What the fuck' like an apple with a moustache." With cockiness like that, we're ruined.
So essentially, I am playing Maggie the Monkey to the cast of experts, and hoping that my Monkey-like ignorance can help me cruise to a stunning victory. I've filled out a bracket with all favorites, and it's up to commenters to help rig it into something presentable. Feel free to throw any upset tips you like, please, and maybe we'll luck our way into fifth place. Lookin' forward to my day off.
2. Battle of California gets recognized.
"Dear Earl, our editors recently reviewed your blog and have given it an 8.5 score (out of 10) in the Sports/Hockey category of Blogged.com. This is quite an achievement!"
Well, if you say so. First way you can spot that this formula-driven list is bogus, though: we're one spot up on Mirtle(even if it is alphabetical at that point). There's voting buttons available, so it's probably the last time you'll see that.
3. New blog alerts.
Being such a "great" blog, I'm always happy to link to some new golden-state-devoted hockey blogs (and actually, if there's any I'm missing in the sidebar, I'm all ears). Two that have caught my eye lately are MaverikHockey and We Bleed Teal.
MaverikHockey is a Ducks-based blog that's been around all season, but I'm sort of internet-blind and didn't discover it until recently. Maverik has a lot of good material and a nice chat feature that we enjoyed after losing a shootout to Phoenix. Sorry I'm delinquent in linking, but welcome aboard.
We Bleed Teal is a new entrant for the Sharks, from BoC commenter Mr. Plank who just couldn't sit around while Rudy and Earl cross-posted the Sharks into afterthought status. I'd worry about that blog title, though. Blood isn't naturally teal, you know, and you may have just made Chris Pronger curious. Speaking of which...
4. Oh yeah, and Pronger.
One of my Canuck buddies, who went with me to G1 of the VAN series, sent me a link to an entirely new angle, likely taken from a fan's camera. I think it's definitely worth a look:
I'm expecting a re-ruling by Colin Campbell any day now.
Waa waa.
