Throwing Down the Gauntlet

The Stars made like The Undertaker and sat up unexpectedly against the Red Wings (I can almost imagine Ken Hitchcock as Paul Bearer - all you need is an urn and some makeup). So, for the second time in this playoffs, I have decided to break out some lucky charms:

Brett Hull's lucky rabbit foot-in-the crease

The exorcised beard trimmings of Mike Modano

...And the combined might of Dave Tippett and Hitch's 'staches!!

Beat that, Ted Nugent!

Playoff Beard Thread '08: The (non)story of beards in '08 in one photo

Edit: This just hasn't been a good year for playoff beards. Good playoff year. Bad for beards.

Watching Steve Ott's team-leading beard got me to thinking: I'm doing a piss-poor job tracking playoff beards. So, from now on I'll be on a much more persistent beard watch, but I need your collective help.

Let me know if there any especially powerful beards as these playoffs go along as well as if there's any notable beard-related articles.

I think this year's seen a decline in beards what with the youthful Pittsburgh Penguins/Montreal Canadiens and the tragic loss of Lightningbeard Scott Niedermayer. Still, I know that Sidney Crosby is going all out and is working on sort of a molester mustache number, so there are definitely some stories to watch this year.

No Niedermayer; no Commodore; hell...no Al Gore. But we must persevere.

OH, the playoff story of the year has to be Jaromir Jagr's legendary "mo-tee" monstrosity (pictured alongside the MVB of '07, Scott Niedermayer. Photo credit goes to the boys at PensBlog, btw.)

Ducks/Wild: I need a break

On a personal note, this series started to get pretty inconvenient for me somewhere early in the third period last night. Or to say it more accurately, somehow this series was on its path of ultimate alignment with my coming schedule, but the improbable synchronicity could not be sustained.

You see, my brother is getting married in SoCal this weekend, and I am the best man. Thursday (G5) I will be tied up in the wedding rehearsal, and Saturday (G6, if necessary), I will be locked in to the actual wedding itself. I have made a best-man-vow to my brother (who is by no means a Ducks fan or even a hockey fan) that I will not be obsessive about the Ducks during this stretch, and now that Anaheim will not be facing elimination, I intend on keeping that promise. As I told my brother, “Hey, at least you didn’t pick a wedding date during the cup finals.”

Therefore this will be my last post until next week; my next post will either be a G7 game-day-post or if the Ducks win one of the next two games, a preview for round 2. A few bullets to leave you with, though:

• By no means does this mean I should be off the hook in terms of trash-talk or chastisement for anything that goes down in the remainder of the series. I certainly have demonstrated high levels of hubris and have been a bit careless with karma (for instance, the image I used in the G4 GDP to invoke a sweep was the exact same image I used last year when the Ducks avoided getting swept at Rexall), so feel free to insult me (or Brad May) in the comments.


• Another karma note: even though I suck at growing facial hair (I’ll blame my half-Korean ancestry), today is the first day I’m clean-shaven, also in preparation for wedding day.


• Is a comeback possible? For sure. Every year around this time we get reminded through one series or another that yes, only two teams ever have come back from an 0-3 deficit, and while I’ll agree the odds are long for the trailing team, I expect that I will live to see it happen again (hopefully not in this series). It’s kind of like flipping a coin four times, except with the added factor of momentum, and I don’t think of four wins as an impossible outcome, especially when games have been this close.


• Hey, but there are bright sides to a G4 loss. Having a G5 in Anaheim should give the Ducks a little more money available to try to re-sign some UFA-combination of Selanne and Giguere, and historically, a dominant sweep with a week-plus of layoff has never been that good for Anaheim. In ’03 after sweeping the Wild and outscoring them 9-1, the Mighty Ducks had 11 days off before G1 in New Jersey, and managed to score zero goals while losing the first two games of the SCF. In ’06 after sweeping the Avalanche and outscoring them 16-4, the Mighty Ducks had 8 days off before G1 vs. Edmonton, and managed to score two goals while losing the first two games of the WCF.


• As it pertains to last night’s game, playing without Frenchie Beauchemin was a pretty tangible blow, as I saw a lot more Huskins / Dipenta / Rome than I’m usually comfortable with. The Wild’s offensive outburst wasn’t that troubling to me—there wasn’t really a goal that I thought Bryzgalov had a real good shot at stopping, and it should be noted that Sammy Pahlsson was on the bench for all four MIN goals (the four that counted; I have no idea why that 5th goal was called off).


• I don’t really have a lot of answers for G5, but here’s some shot-in-the-dark guesses to some burning questions: (a) will Beauchemin be available? (Yes, sparingly). (b) who will start in net for Anaheim? (Giguere). (c) how many games will Brad May or Shawn Thornton be suspended? (May: seven, Thornton: one). (d) do I hate the Wild now? (not yet).


• For more Ducks coverage, you can check out Girl With a Puck, Anaheim Duck Fan, Duck's Blog, or On the Pond. For more Wild coverage, check out Wild Puck Banter, Puck Wild, or Wild Hockey (A Guide for the Casual Fan) .

So, enjoy the next game or two without me, and have an extra "toast the couple" drink on Saturday; I’m sure there will be more Sharks and Stars content here to keep you amused, and I’ll stop by occasionally in the comments section. For now, the next thing I’ve got to write is my long-put-off best man speech.

Go Ducks.

The big huge oversized playoff beard thread

There are few things in life that are as unnecessary but awesome as growing a playoff beard. It's been covered over and over and over again, but unlike most hockey cliches, it doesn't get old.

So since I'm practically foaming at the mouth about the fact that the NHL playoffs are coming up oh-so soon, and playoff beards are naturally going to come up repeatedly, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a regularly updated playoff beard thread for the playoffs.

PJ, Chen, Sleek and Rudy: feel free to add your own links and such to this. Let's make this one-stop playoff beard shopping. (One of the most gratifying sentences I've ever written for this blog).

Reading about the young 'uns on the Pittsburgh Penguins gave me the idea. And no, I cannot grow a playoff beard. I am poor and need to keep my job, OK?

Pittsburgh Penguins:

Worst: Me, or [Malkin]. I haven't seen him with anything going on [with facial hair]. I think [Staal] has a few billy goat hairs growing on his chin. Sid's got a couple of little sideburns. I can't even get that.

Own: It will be a 'throatee,' pretty much a goatee on my throat. That's all I've got. Or the 'neard,' the neck beard. We'll have to see what it looks like. I don't know if I'll let it sprout or not.

-Colby Armstrong


Own: Pretty good. I just can't grow anything [in the middle of the upper lip]. ... It looks like a reverse Hitler.

-Erik Christensen

Interview taken from The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, story by great Pittsburgh hockey columnist Dave Molinari.

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Of course, it would be a sin to ignore the greatest moment in beard bloggery, sacramano from The Battle of Alberta's sequential de-bearding. Here are a few of the best photos from that spectacular post:

Seriously, read that post.

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Indeed, the hockey blogosphere has some big shoes to fill. And there certainly will be some old friends who we'll miss: Mike Commodore and the Carolina Hurricanes were eliminated from the playoffs recently. And most sadly, the Edmonton blogosphere has been reduced to writing hilarious, but depressing posts about the Oilers' jarring drop to the bottom.

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An interesting take [and intelligent purchase of a domain name] comes in the form of www.playoffbeard.com. The site features hockey news and impressive and expressive portraits of certain hockey players. The highlight of the site is its guide to grading playoff beards.

It features this doozy about former Duck Jeff Friesen:

"WHEN BEARDS GO WRONG: The Freisen

Oh Jeff. Oh no. Perhaps the worst attempt ever at a playoff beard was the porn star / Wyatt Earp special that Jeff Freisen tried to pull off a few years ago. The effort was there. The genetics however...ooooh......in another line of work, his facial hair could have been put to good use. In the NHL however, it was misplaced. Better luck next time Officer Freisen!"

Artwork from playoffbeard.com

More playoff beard-y goodness to come in the weeks and months that pass. Again, this post is intended to get bloated and ridiculous so please leave your favorite beard-related sites in the comments section.

BoC beard-related comments are especially recommended. My current playoff beard BoC favorite: Scott Niedermayer, whose gray-and-black scruff promoted me to nickname him "Lightningbeard."

Are you excited yet???