Zdeno Chara, sports' best-ever freak?

Really, who doesn't want to hear about Zdeno Chara (except Mike Milbury, heh)? And since there's been a few Battle of California + plus Boston! jokes floating around, I figured this would be the best time to relate a Chara story that might put him in the Gary Roberts - Bill Bradzke*-Chuck Norris league of Guys Whose Toughness Eventually Spawn Urban Legends.

The guy wanted to be completely alert and aware during shoulder surgery!

This also brings into the question: is Chara the best borderline circus act success story in sports?



Shawn Bradley was like a nerdy mormon on stilts whose life was justified by athletic NBA players dunking mercilessly on him. George Mursean was as successful as someone who starred in a mediocre Billy Crystal movie can be.** And the jury's still out on Kimbo Slice.

(Let's not even touch the steep decline of Manute Bol.)

Being that I had a rough day at work, I assume I have to be missing a glaring example of circus act-turned sports great, so lay 'em on me.

P.S.: is Brian Burke the first "lame duck" GM in NHL History??

And, the obligatory Shawn Bradley embed, because I'm a dick...(but not as much of a dick as the folks at Sportscenter, apparently)



* Is that how you'd spell that semi-beloved SNL "character?"

** I call "My Giant" mediocre because I haven't seen it. Which might, nonetheless, make my "critique" one of the gentlest the movie ever received...

Battle of California Boston

The Boston Bruins entered the 2007-08 season with guarded expectations. Still reeling from the aftermath of the Joe Thornton trade, the B's ended a short playoff drought clinching the last playoff spot in the Eastern Conference with one game left in the regular season. Boston finished with a respectable 41-29-12 record, although they were outscored 212-222 and had only two players reach the 20 goal plateau in Marco Sturm (27) and Chuck Kobasew (22). Tim Thomas was a workhorse in goal again this year, registering a 28-19-6 record with a 2.44GAA, .921SV% and 3 shutouts. The NHL's first American franchise dropped a first round Eastern Conference Quarterfinal series to the Montreal Canadiens in 7 games.

According to the Yahoo Sports end of season team report, solid goaltending by Tim Thomas kept the Bruins in the hunt for much of the season but the team lacked overall offensive depth. Yahoo also notes that defenseman Zdeno Chara is recovering from shoulder surgery, goaltending prospect Tuukka Rask had a heart to heart with general manager Peter Chiarelli about the quality of his starts in the AHL, and the B's formally severed ties with former Ducks fifth overall draft pick Stanislav Chistov.

TSN's Scott Cullen published a Boston Bruins season in review at the end of May. Cullen quoted head coach Claude Julien, who said the team needs to transition from a good team to a better team, and that the team will have to rely heavily on youth again next season. He notes that Bruins leading scorer Marco Sturm finished with his sixth straight 20+ goal season, but that he has not reached the 30 goal plateau yet in his career. Not mentioned, the number of breakaways Marco Sturm created that did not lead to a goal. There was a lot of pressure on Phil Kessel this season, but three goals from the 20 year old in the playoff series against Montreal was a bright spot. The Bruins should expect more next year with a healthy Patrice Bergeron and Chuck Kobasew, but Glen Murray is trending downward in the final year of his 5 year contract according to Cullen.

Norris trophies won by Boston Bruins defenseman: Bobby Orr (8): 1967–68, 1968–69, 1969–70, 1970–71, 1971–72, 1972–73, 1973–74, 1974–75; Ray Bourque (5): 1986–87, 1987–88, 1989–90, 1990–91, 1993–94.

BostonBruins.com blogger John Bishop detailed several comments by general manager Peter Chiarelli made in a conference call about the re-signing of forward Chuck Kobasew, ongoing discussions with Dennis Wideman, Mark Stuart, and Petteri Nokelainen, and Bishop also published a post on the signing of free agent defenseman Aaron Ward and the ongoing discussions with Glen Metropolit.

The Bruins already have a significant salary commitment for 2008-09 (estimated $47 million payroll with a salary cap that could rise to $56.3 million), but Chiarelli needs to perform shrewd maneuvering at every opportunity to add offense for this team next year. The deep 2008 NHL Entry Draft should provide Boston the opportunity to add a secondary scoring element if they are prepared to make a bold trade, a critical evaluation of available free agents needs to be made, and given the salary constraints and elevated salaries impacting the trade market Boston should have scouted the European and Russian leagues heavily to try to find an unsigned goal scoring diamond in the rough.

Boston holds the 16th overall pick in the June 20–21st 2008 NHL Entry Draft, along with a second round pick (47), third round (77), fourth round (108), fifth round (138), sixth round from Anaheim (174), and seventh round (198) picks. A conditional fifth round draft selection sent to Chicago required Brandon Bochenski to play in more than 80 games subsequent to the trade, which was not met.

The photos above are from the San Jose Sharks home opener against Boston, which the Bruins won 2-1 when defenseman Aaron Ward hammered home the game winning goal with 12 seconds left in the third. The "Power Outage Game" was one of the most bizarre games played in San Jose last year. The building lost complete power near the end of the pre-game skate and did not fully re-gain it until halfway through the first period. There were no national anthems sung prior to the game, and an accident on a key offramp and the downtown San Jose rock and roll festival made just getting to HP Pavilion difficult.

Didn't someone request Boston BOC coverage?

Looking back at one of the dumbest trades in NHL history

In the spirit of Christmas, I thought it would be appropriate to look back at one of the dumbest trades of all time. Indeed, on Nov. 30 2005, the Boston Bruins foolishly gave away the most hyped player since Eric Lindros (at least when Jumbo Joe was drafted) for a buncha schmoes.

"Joe for schmoes" read the headlines.*

So, in commemoration of this wonderful, Hart trophy-sized gift, let's follow the careers of those who were involved in this painfully idiotic trade.

San Jose Sharks get: Big Bird Joe Thornton

That picture really has to hurt Boston Bruins fans. I mean, seriously, look at how happy Joe looks.

Since that trade, Thornton scored 245 pts in 173 regular season GP! Holy shitballs!

And, even though he certainly could grow some playoff balls he does have 20 pts in 22 playoff GP with the Sharks. So, even though his numbers take a bit of a dive when the games start to matter, he has improved...compared to when he was an ineffective Bruin. (Wow, I'm pouring a lot of salt in that wound. Yikes.)

I'm sure one of the three(?) SJ bloggers could wordsmith and pontificate about Big Joe's greatness during his time wearing increasingly ridiculous Sharks jerseys better than I, but he certainly has made a positive impact. He signed a Sidney Crosby-like manageable contract to give the Sharks cap flexibility and will keep them as a contender for at least the next 5 years.

Sure, the Shawwks did make it to the WCF that pre-lockout year without Joe, but few would argue against the point that Big Bird raised the team's ceiling substantially. He also made Jon Cheechoo a multi-millionaire.

Good deal for the Sharks, yes?

The Bruins get:

Brad Stuart

Brad Stuart, at least from my memory, was the "blue chip" player who somehow justified the Bruins to push the red button on the Big Bird firesale. Matt at Battle of Alberta did a good job of capturing the vague talents of Stuart last February.

Since the trade, Stuart has yet to complete a full season with the same squad (though we're pulling for him to stick with the Kings). He was a dreadful -22 in just 48 GP with the Bruins, bounced back with a +12 in 35 GP with the Flames and sits at -12 with the Kings this year.

What does that tell us?

He's a bit player, but who knows, maybe someday he'll have a Van Halen-style eruption. As the #3 pick by the Sharks in '98 he's certainly been a disappointment. Every now and then, early draft picks end up "getting it" later than many hoped. But I doubt the Sharks really miss Stuart.

The Kings are certainly hoping that Jack Johnson follows Rob Blake rather than Stuart's footsteps. (Potty mouth language not included, naturally)

Germany's favorite Marco Sturm

Unlike the underachieving Stuart, Marco stuck with the Bruins. He recently signed a four-year extension with the Bruins and seems to be the only player the team can even point to as being a "success" in the deal.

It's hard to pick on Marco too much, even if he hasn't done as much as some might expect from him. He's a speedy winger but he's somewhat on the smaller side. He's probably going to stay in the point-every-other-game-or-so range for most of his career.

He's doing better so far this year, with a solid 21 pts in 32 GP.

Wayne "not Keith" Primeau

Wayne Primeau was a throw-in to the deal, a mediocre two-way center with a good attitude. A locker room guy. Who is now a decent fit in the Calgary Flames locker room.

So, not even three full seasons later, all the Bruins have to show for is a solid, hard working forward in Sturm. But, hey, it's not like Thornton is one of the top 5 forwards in the NHL, right?

Ooops.

* - Not true.

Ducks Gameday—12,000 mile migration finally finds its way home

Boston Bruins (1-1-0, t-8th in east) at Anaheim Ducks (1-3-1, t-6th in west)

After a road trip that can best be described as "predictably brutal", the Ducks finally raise their banners tonight in front of the home crowd--Scott and Teemu are supposed to be in attendance, so that should be an interesting ceremony, at least. I'm not going to overcriticize the team for the lackluster start, even though the last three cup-winners have all had excellent starts to their year: Tampa Bay took points in 14 of its first 16 games (11-2-3), Carolina earned points in 13 of 16 (12-3-1), and last year's Ducks got points in all 16 (12-0-4).

This year's Ducks have only taken points in 2 out of its first 5 games, but I'm staying optimistic. Here's some semi-random thoughts I've been mulling over:

1. Last year's Senators recovered from a brutal start to make the cup finals, so a rough start isn't insurmountable. Ottawa took points in only 7 of its first 16, but unlike the Ducks so far, the Senators' goal-differential was pretty promising. Just a side note on the Sens' top line: it took them less than 2 games this season to score as many goals and points as they got in all 5 games against the Ducks last spring. Just sayin'.

2. Fortunately, the rest of the Pacific Division has started slowly as well. The Ducks will have a games-in-hand issue as the season goes on, but I'm surprised nobody in the division has passed the Ducks in the standings yet. Last year, the Pacific produced three 107-point teams; so far this year nobody in the division sits above the .500 mark and every team is getting outscored.

3. The main thing I can say about the team's rough start was that it was entirely predictable. The team had a lengthy spring, with the cup hangover and semi-retirements that tend to follow. They had a severely shortened summer and an abbreviated camp to accomodate two September games overseas. Then they hurried back to open the North American season with 3 openers in 4 nights.


I made the graphic to the left just to show the whimsy of the scheduling discrepancy thus far--after tonight's games, the two teams with the shortest summers will have hurried to play more games than any other team, and the Ducks in particular will have played twice as many games as more than 2/3 the league.

Besides the schedule impacting results, there is also the matter of personnel: compared to last year's squad, the team is short a #1 goaltender, a top-scoring forward, a top-scoring defenseman, a top-scoring rookie, a top-shutdown center, and a top-UFA defenseman. And really, all that's been available to replace them has been Todd Bertuzzi, Shane Hnidy, and rookies.

I guess my main point here is that when I evaluate NHL teams, I don't often hold them to irrelevant results. Last season I often ignored a 2-7-2 stretch in January when Giguere, Pronger, Beauchemin, Marchant, and Bryzgalov all had simultaneous injuries. The season before I isolated results for the Sharks after they inserted Thornton and Toskala, and for the Ducks after they shed Fedorov, Sykora, Carney, and Ozolinsh.

So I'm not reading anything into this ridiculously-scheduled start. Instead, I still look forward to what sort of success (or lineup, really) that these Ducks project to have with at least the additions of Giguere, Schneider, and Pahlsson.

4. Just for historical comparison, after the Ducks' first visit to the cup finals, they started the next season with an 0-4-1 start, so at least things could be worse. The first five games of 2003-04 were a truly brutal start: 5 goals-for and 16 goals-against; at least this year's squad has scored 11. Coincidentally, the 5th game in that Oct. 03 slump was the last time the Bruins visited Anaheim.

Sidenote #1: I'll give Boston credit for also starting this season with some tough matchups--they are the visitor for the home openers in Dallas, Anaheim, and San Jose. However, those openers are spread out, and after this trip Boston won't leave the eastern time zone again.

Sidenote #2: I actually was in attendance for that Ducks-Bruins game back in 2003. I remember that game because I managed to pull my wallet out at a beer stand, walk away with a beer in each hand, and not discover my missing wallet until I got home. So if you found a wallet that night, you know the secret identity of Earl Sleek (you bastard).

5. Back to this season, I'm at least hopeful that the Ducks' pathetic start convinces Scott and Teemu that they're still useful for this team. If I'm Brian Burke, I'm really hoping each of them watches the Columbus video in particular. In case you missed it, that was the game where it took the Ducks 16 minutes to find out Pascal Leclaire was in the Blue Jacket net.

6. At least the on-ice problems thus far seem identifiable and fixable. First off, the PK desperately needs Pahlsson back--9 of the 16 goals they've surrendered have come on opposition power plays. Two players that have been particularly exposed: Ryan Getzlaf has played 12 shorthanded minutes with 4 goals against, and Francois Beauchemin in 29 minutes has been on the ice for 8 of the 9 PPGs-against.

As for goaltending, it's actually been quite stellar for the most part. Ilya Bryzgalov has started three games and only allowed one even-strength goal. Breezy's problem is that he's been victimized for eight power play goals-against, plus the Ducks have only offered him three total goals-for in support. I didn't catch all of the Pittsburgh game, but Hiller's impressed as well.

Prediction: Sorry I'm long-winded today, but in support of the Ducks I've flown on two red-eye flights within the last week, and I'm feeling the lack of proper bed-sleep. Anyway, the Ducks' only win this season came on the only game I didn't make a gameday post, but I know what's been the missing element: Sammy Pahlsson. He's a possibility to return for tonight's game, and that's good enough for me. Ducks 3, Bruins 2. Pahlsson, Perry, and Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

"Offseason" cartoons: The rest of the east

Well, I certainly have fallen behind on my offseason goal of cartooning new mascots for all the divisions, haven't I? Looking back, I haven't done one since August. Previous divisions include: Pacific, Northwest, Central, and the Atlantic.

Well, nothing like a hangover do-nothing Saturday to complete old tasks, eh?

First off, we have the Southeast Division:

We have the Tampa Bay Lightning Bolt, the Atlanta Thrash-Can, the Carolina Hurricane, the WASHINGTON CAPS, and the Florida Panthro.

And finally, the Northeast Division:
Here we see the Buffalo Sabre being confronted by the Boston Bruin, the Ottawa Senator Palpatine, the Toronto Maple Leaf, and of course the diminutive Le Hobbitant de Montréal.

Hope you enjoy 'em. Off to the couch for me!