Outsourcing: Cartoons from Sweden

If you recall, this past summer BoC had a brief series called Letters from Switzerland from our generous friend Markus (will it continue? only Markus knows for sure), where we received some overseas updates about some former NHLers. In that same spirit, I present a guest submission from reader Kyle J., a guy I can only assume hails from Sweden (to be completely honest, I'm not sure about this, but based on a few phrases of broken English I've corrected, I'm comfortable being presumptuous). Well, I'm never a guy to turn away free artwork, especially if it's potentially from Sweden!

I am, however, a guy who (for better or worse) will regularly publish e-mails I get.

Dear Earl Sleek.

I have been wanting to find a way to mix my passion for graphic arts and hockey together for a long time. I have finally figured out how. A Graphic Novel of Hockey(Comic book). However I would like to showcase them where people could see them. And reading your blog since the Season We Won the Cup I know that many people in fact read your blog. I have really enjoyed your cartoons. If you wouldn't mind letting me post these on BOC I would very much enjoy some feedback so I could start up on my own or possibly work together on some.

Thanks

BOC Reader of you and Rudy,
Ducks Fan and Hockey enthusiast,
and Fellow Artista,
Kyle J.

Just take a look at the awesomeness below, inspired by last week's Ducks win against the Toronto Maple Leafs (featuring an ill-advised goaltender switch by Ron Wilson for the shootout):


Quite literally the best artwork this blog has ever seen.
(Click image to enlarge.)
I don't even know where to start. The Terminator version of Nik Antropov is killer, the classic Ron Wilson media staredown is spot-on, and I want to run and hide from that George Parros glare. Basically, Kyle, I give this a hearty standing ovation. Outstanding.

One of my side goals here at BoC is to semi-legitimize the notion of internet cartooning, even though I'm pretty much just a hack. Well, fellow hacks, the bar may have just been raised, and I'm pretty excited to see that. Plus, now with Switzerland and Sweden on the BoC contribution list, I can't wait to see what our German or Finnish readers will do to top this.

[1:15 pm edit -- Oh boy did I blow this one. I've now been informed that Kyle J. is from Southern California, not Sweden. Well, this won't be the last fact-checking error that Sleek will ever make, but it is a doozy. Also, a new version of the picture was submitted with "Foliage" instead of "Foilage". Sorry for the mix-up, KJ.]

Go Ducks.

I Bet He Called Him Dog

Kings Gameday: I'm Still Not Convinced This "Austria" Exists

Okay, c'mon, there's no way that's a real place.

The Kings are still in this mythical land of Austria, where people wear hats on their feet and the hamburgers eat people. (Jesus, is that the Australia episode too? That’s a good one.) Despite some… difficulties yesterday, the Kings still managed to win. Labarbera’s struggles in the game mean that he’s obviously worthless and we should just ignore the 80 games he played last year. (Playing goaltender on an international ice surface is way different because you have to adjust how you center yourself; I’m sure that was the problem. At least, I think.)

Anywho, the Kings now play some Swede team that I don’t know and will probably kick the hell out of them. (The day I fear something Swedish is the day I die at the hands of Matty Norstrom.) I assume Bernier will start this time, but I’ve given up on guessing what the hell the Kings are doing. Puck should drop in about 45 minutes.

Prediction: Kings, 6-2. 2 goals by Calder, 2 by O’Sullivan, 1 by Nagy and Brown. Kopitar will have 7 assists because he can do that.

***

Yesterday over on Inside the Kings, Rich Hammond quoted Marc Crawford as saying that Alexander Frolov and Michal Handzus were hurt. I knew about Frolov, but Handzus? He had his tonsils removed like a month ago! I’m beginning to think he may actually be a woman, or even worse, a baseball player.

***

I’m doing a live-blog! It should be Saturday, barring unforeseen circumstances. I’m sure I’ll be incredibly witty for the 1st period, realize I’ve made a huge mistake by the 2nd, and completely mail it in for the rest of the game. Should be fun. I usually wait until a live-blog is over before I start to read it, but if you’d like to follow along in the comments, feel free.

A Salute to an Unsung Hero: Doug Murray (from Sweden)

Hockey is not a sport that gets a lot of coverage by the media. This means that only the major stars of the sport usually get covered: the Crosbys, the Iginlas, the Brodeurs, etc. As such, many of the fringe players get unnoticed; one such player is Douglas Murray, defenseman for the San Jose Sharks. This is a shame, because Douglas Murray is the coolest dude in the NHL. Why would I think Doug Murray is awesome, given that he’s on a division rival? Well…

Don't look so mad, Doug; you're awesome!

…for one, his name is Doug Murray. This isn’t that awesome in itself, except for the fact that he’s Swedish. I mean, what kind of Swede is named Doug Murray? I don’t know why, but it gets me all giggly. (Side note: According to Wikipedia, Doug’s mom doesn’t like people calling him Doug because it sounds like “Dog” when pronounced by a Swede. I will now only refer to him as “Dog Murray.”)

…secondly, his nickname on the team is “Crankshaft.” That’s fucking cool. I wish my nickname was “Crankshaft.” It sounds like the nickname of the big guy who carries the machine gun in a war movie.

…thirdly, despite being a big, lumbering defenseman, Dog is also a Cornell grad (just like Andy Bernard) and an entrepreneur. It's not just any company, either; Dog Murray is the owner of a business called “Ubertap.” The company has created a new kind of tap for your keg that has 3 nozzles, which enables you to pour 5x faster. What makes the tap especially awesome is that it allows you to pump with your foot instead of your hand. Okay, it’s not that awesome, but it seems cool to me for some reason. Apparently, Murray’s friend had the idea create a new type of keg pump and Murray provided the money to start up the company.

If you don't think this is great, you're uber-gay! (See what I did there?)

If I could be a hockey player, I’d be Dog Murray (from Sweden). The guy is a millionaire hockey player (albeit not a very good one) who hangs out with his friends and creates the cutting edge in drinking technology. You may not be well known, Dog, but I salute you.

Fine, Search Engine Abusers. You win.

So, this being the most boring week of the year, and with little else to do, I figure I'd look over the ol' blog stats. As usual, the strangest numbers come from the keyword analysis, basically the search engine stats. So far, in 27 days of June, this blog was discovered by:

26 searches for "chris pronger skeletor"
OK man, you win. The best I can offer you is the photo to the left.

50 searches for "hedstrom ducks"
This guy appears to be more desperate. You know, the Ducks never faced a must-win game in any round these playoffs, but if they did, I was going to write a post called "Sleek's Bad Idea":

In 2003, after the second round of the playoffs, Anaheim forward Patrick Kjellberg ditched the team mid-playoffs to return to Sweden. The Mighty Ducks responded with three straight shutouts.

In 2006, late in the first round of the playoffs, Anaheim forward Jonathan Hedstrom ditched the team mid-playoffs to return to Sweden. The Mighty Ducks responded with three straight shutouts.

So if it was a do-or-die scenario, as tough as it would be, Sammy Pahlsson would have to ditch the team and head for Sweden; three straight shutouts would be certain to follow. Of course, with Pahlsson being my favorite player, I'd have to blame Brian Burke for not carrying another Swedish forward just for this sort of emergency.

And finally, 68 searches for "mathieu garon salary"
OK, Kings fan(s), we get it. We all know L.A.'s goaltending was desperately bad last year, but you gotta relax on that search engine trigger finger or you'll go crazy. Per nhlnumbers.com, Garon's salary last season was $1.216 M, but he's an unrestricted free agent come July 1st.

So relax, Kings. Your only worry should be two more years of Dan Cloutier at $3.1 M.

OMG, this game is played by human beings?!

As a general rule, there are few things blander than your typical NHL player interview. I think everyone means well, but somehow the objective isn't about hearing about an individual perspective or personality anymore. For whatever reason (sensitivity, fear, team unity), most player interviews just turn into prompted clichés:

"Stick to the system, give a full sixty minutes, cut down on the mistakes, sure I like my linemates, blah blah blah."

So coming from that perspective, I gotta say that I was impressed to see that my favorite Swedish blogger, Ingmar Bergman, scored some chat time with an anonymous NHLer. And you know what? This interview is AWESOME.

The names are fake, but that probably allows the content (translated from Swedish) to remain so true. Ingmar, dude, you really kicked ass in this interview. Everyone, go read it!

Part I
Part II
Part III

Enjoy!

Food for Thought: Think like the Swedes

You know, I wasn’t blogging at the time, but one of the most fascinating hockey games I ever saw was at the most recent Olympics at the end of the preliminary round when Sweden took on Slovakia. On paper, it was a meaningless game, as both teams had already qualified for the elimination round.

But oh, those devious Swedes. You see, the seeding in the elimination round was still dependent on this game’s outcome. If the Swedes won, they would be matched up against Canada. If they lost, then it was a considerably easier Switzerland match-up. The IIHF, of course, was not pleased with the situation, and even assigned some sort of “effort assessor” to ensure that Sweden would not tank the game, even though that appeared to be in Sweden's best interest.

Now Sweden lost that game 3-0 in a game that seemed honestly played, then went on to breeze past the outmatched Swiss on their way to a gold medal. Did they tank that Slovakia game? Probably. But more importantly, should they have tanked that game? Definitely.

Team Sweden reacts to their shutout loss to Slovakia
You may disagree, but really, the objective was to win gold, and there was a fairly obvious choice that factored very strongly in Sweden’s chances. Sweden is not bound to act honorably in the face of a motivational flaw in the seeding system, nor should they be. Sweden, like all teams, should be looking out for its own interest, and if that meant tanking a game for a more favorable opponent, that was the IIHF’s fault, not Sweden’s.

Anyway, the whole point of that memory jog was to take a look ahead at the western conference playoffs, which are starting to take pretty solid form. In all likelihood, we will see a first round seeding as follows:

1 1st in Central vs. 8 3rd in Northwest
2 1st in Pacific vs. 7 2nd in Northwest
3 1st in Northwest vs. 6 3rd in Pacific
4 2nd in Central vs. 5 2nd in Pacific
I know none of this is guaranteed, but several factors, I think, play into this seeding scenario: Detroit and Nashville’s games against the weakside of the Central, the Pacific trio playing against each other, and the Northwest in general being a self-regulating point-generator. Now who fills what spot is where it gets interesting, specifically as it relates to the three Pacific teams, who are now separated by but 4 points and somewhat safely planning on a postseason (Anaheim 74, San Jose 73, Dallas 70—thank you Nashville and Detroit!).

Now nothing here is as obvious as Canada-or-Switzerland, but if the above seeding scenario holds true, here’s the follow-up truth: Whoever takes 2nd in the Pacific division will face a more difficult opponent than the team that finishes 3rd (and it may be a difference of more than 10 points).

Now points are probably not the best measure of opposition, but still, imagine one of the Pacific trio pulls out to a sizeable lead. That would leave the other two teams with a choice of starting in Detroit, say, or Calgary. Given the choice, a coach might opt for Calgary (or at least decide that Detroit isn’t worth working your tail off for).

Now I don’t know if I have any strong point, really (neither Detroit or Calgary look to be any postseason picnic), but I think it will be extremely interesting to see what happens if a Pacific team pulls ahead in the final third of the season—will the other two teams go nuts-to-the-wall out in order to finish 2nd and play perhaps a better team? Is that sort of effort even worth it?

Or maybe, just maybe, will Swede-think take over, forcing Bettman to play the “effort assessor” card?

Like I said, just food for thought.