A Sharks/Lightning Prediction

I'm not going to predict who's going to win this game, but just as a side note -- I guaran-damn-tee you that Steven Stamkos will get his first NHL point tonight against the Sharks.

Why? It's not the news that he's been bumped to the first power play unit or that coach Barry Mullet wants to expand his ice time. It's because the Sharks have consistently wanted to dabble in the history books by being the team that other teams hit milestones against.

You want specifics? Um, well, much of my brain is still recovering from my friend's Halloween party last night (where I dressed as Robert Smith from The Cure during the era where he wore hockey jerseys; my outfit was complemented by a knock-off Vancouver Canucks jersey with the old orange/red/white skate logo) but I know every time it's announced on a broadcast, I slap my forehead and go, "Not again."

If my coffee kicks in before game time, I'll post some specific memories.

But just sayin'. That's my not-so-bold prediction for today.

Don't miss this wildly probable train wreck.

After reading all about the loose cannon, Mark Cuban/Dan Snyder-like possibilities for Len Barrie and the other new Tampa Bay owners, this thing is starting to smell like Washington Redskins.

• Obviously, there’s the celebrity coach.

It’s hard to judge Barry Melrose with anything but suspicion. He made it as far as the NHL Finals as a coach, but he did have old 9-9 to thank for that. Eventually, he drifted off into ESPN anchorland, without a suitor for more than a decade.
Even if he was a good coach, what are the chances he’ll catch up immediately? Sure, he’s around the game, but now he has to command respect from Michael Jordan, of Hockey.

Here’s the “great” situation Barry is headed into:

• They already have the eccentric celebrity – new money owner, one of the first of its kind in the NHL. The Lightning feature neo Cuban.

• Vincent Lecavalier isn’t the Michael Jordan of hockey, but he could be the Lebron James. He’s a young phenom drafted to a semi-embarrassing team (Cavaliers/Lightning) who will always be rumored to leave for their league’s Mecca (New York/Toronto).

• Second painful Lecavalier fact: lifetime contracts are doomed. Just look at the always-credible WWF. Bret Hart signs a lifetime contract.A year later he’s screwed out of his championship in front of his country which somehow convinces him to break televisions and give a multi-millionaire a black eye.
  
  

Every lifetime contract is a disaster. Right, Hitman?

This could very well happen again, only this time it would be real. But the Lightning will probably ruin the fun by locking him up to some outlandish (but only 5-year) contract. Fun killers.

• Steve Stamkos might be joining a dysfunctional hockey family. Sure, he’s going to be rich in four years. And he’s in Florida, which isn’t a bad place for a 19-year-old to be.

So I guess I can’t feel sorry for him. Still, I wouldn’t blame the kid for pulling a Lindros/Eli Manning.

• Rick Tocchet. Seriously? If he can get another job, then Marc Crawford shouldn’t sweat it too much.

For these reasons, the Lightning will be one of the teams I’ll be following closely when I get NHL Center Ice.

Barry Melrose still interested in coaching, says San Jose Sharks at the top of anyone's list

I spoke briefly with ESPN analyst and former Kings coach Barry Melrose today to see if he was still interested in coaching, if he would be interested in the opening with the San Jose Sharks, and if he thought the lineup in San Jose was more talented than the Detroit Red Wings or Dallas Stars. His answers were yes, yes and yes.

The full post is on Sharkspage here. At the State of the Sharks question and answer session next tuesday, President and Chief Executive Officer Greg Jamison, Sharks Executive Vice President and General Manager Doug Wilson and Sharks forward Jonathan Cheechoo will be available to answer questions.

Mullet of Doom

Like Steven Seagal once was, the Sharks are now marked for death -- Barry Melrose has assigned his annual Mullet curse to the boys in teal, calling them the best team in the league in a video reviewing the Pacific Division that you can find on the ESPN NHL page. Fortunately, I don't see this in writing anywhere, so perhaps the Melrose curse only affects things in print form (or online text, depending on how you look at it).