Ducks Gameday—Texasperation

Dallas Stars (4-6-2, t-12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (9-5-1, 2nd in west)
Can the Stars re-discover the success they left here last spring?

I can't really tell you what's going wrong with the Dallas Stars this season, as I have yet to even watch a single game. Still, the spreadsheets will tell you, you don't have to look much past the 50 goals allowed in just 12 games. To put that in perspective, the Philadelphia Flyers currently lead the league in goal-scoring at 3.67 goals-per-game (excludes shootouts). The Stars are giving up goals at a rate of 4.17 goals-per-game, half a goal higher than any team can manage offensively.

There's probably plenty of culprits -- Avery and Brunnstrom not adequately replacing Hagman and Miettinen, the absence of Sergei Zubov (who I think returns to the team tonight, along with Mark Parrish), and of course the guy between the pipes.

Marty Turkey. 4.34 GAA, .837 Sv%.
Still, it's still a young season, and it's certainly possible the Stars work a Ducks-style turnaround. It might not even be that bad a time for the Stars to visit Anaheim and San Jose, where they eliminated the BoC last spring. It's going to be important that the Ducks and Sharks avoid thinking too much about revenge in these first meetings, though; the way to really hurt the Stars is to send them home without a win.

The Stars are 3-1 this year when allowing 3 goals or fewer; that's a good winning percentage for that cutoff, though certainly an embarrassingly low number of instances. One other strange sidenote about tonight's game: the Stars for some reason will become the last team this season to play an opponent from their own division. I guess that's one thing a Stars fan can take solace in: there's still time to make plenty of noise in the Pacific.

* * *

I'll be at tonight's game, enjoying my own version of the "Rinkside View" from the Row B seats, look for me in my lucky green shirt. I'll be with my dad and his friends, so it will probably be a muted version of Drinky Sleek, but feel free to say hi if you see me.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Stars 2. Goals by Perry, Scotty, Pahlsson, and Travis "the Omen" Moen.

Go Ducks.

BoC Gameday—Aww, you saved your first "W" for me?

San Jose Sharks (4-0) at Anaheim Ducks (0-4)
Battle of the Western Conference Extremes

Ain't the Ducks a bunch of sweethearts? I mean, some fans are forced to watch their team get a season's first victory on TV, but the Ducks have managed to work things out so that I can come experience it in person. That's right, it's time for another Sleek sighting at the ol' Honda Center, sporting the lucky green shirt and drunk-yelling "Positivity!" from Row B. If you're attending the game and want to say hi, you can probably catch me during the intermissions in the lower-level concourse furthest from Katella Avenue.

Now you might think that I'm terrified or worried about tonight's game, but to tell you the truth, I've already attended it -- five years ago, if you can believe it. (Uh-oh, flashback.) If you recall, optimism was very high back in the start of the 2003-04 season. The Mighty Ducks were fresh off an upstart Stanley Cup G7, and even though Oates and Kariya had departed during the summer, their vacancies seemed decently filled with the signings of Fedorov and Prospal. High hopes came crashing back to earth early, however, as the 03-04 Mighty Ducks began their post-Finals-appearance season with a horrific 0-4 start, getting outscored by the whopping margin of 12 to 2 (!).

I don't recall how I managed to score tickets to the fifth game, but I do remember conflicting feelings about the start of the season. Was this Ducks team, such a giant-killer last spring, all of a sudden the worst team in the league? How was I supposed to react to the team's horrid start in my first Pond visit since the miracle run?

For the record, the Mighty Ducks ended up with a mixed result in the game I attended. They did pick up their first standing point of the season, but fell in overtime to Joe Thornton's Sharks Bruins. The thing I remember most about that night wasn't anything that happened on the ice, however, but rather it was the moment I got home and realized that I no longer was carrying a wallet. In my eager (younger) attempt to drown the Ducks' struggles in liquid amnesia, I apparently had left it sitting on the beer counter after flashing my ID. If anyone does recall finding a wallet that night (the Pond had zero clue the next day), now you know the secret identity of Mr. Sleek -- and if you're feeling particularly malicious, I never did get around to cancelling that Blockbuster Video card.

Now I'm not exactly sure why I decided to bring up that story -- it's certainly a very different Ducks team than it was five years ago, and I don't even think the parallel 0-4 records signify the same problems. One thing that I do notice, however, is that I'm a much less panicked fan this time around. Maybe I've grown up a bit, maybe I'm disillusioned a bit, who knows? I do think that one of the Ducks' TV guys (Bill MacDonald, maybe?) brought up a helpful point after the Oilers loss, though. It wouldn't be that difficult to shrug off a 4-game losing streak if it happened in the middle of the season, and I'll add it's preferable to mourn in October than in April.

So regardless of early-season records, I figure I'll be in good spirits tonight. Sure, I'll be drinking (it's still me), but instead of a drown-my-sorrows attitude from five years ago, tonight's just an exciting matchup on what promises to be a crazy-season roller coaster ride. Oddly enough, I think the 0-4 start has actually been a little bit liberating; I'd probably be more stressed about tonight's result if the teams had identical records.

Anyways, if you're following the game on TV, feel free to join Mr. Plank's interactive liveblog over at We Bleed Teal. Sharks fans, Ducks fans, wayward Kings fans, disheartened Angel/Dodger fans -- all are welcome, I'm sure. If the puck goes near the Ducks' penalty box and you spot a green shirt on the bottom of your TV set, though, make sure to give him a "Positivity!" shoutout. Every little bit counts.

Prediction: Sleek manages to hold onto his wallet this time, and that makes all the difference. Ducks 4, Sharks 3. Goals by Carter, Getzlaf, Pahlsson, and Pronger.

Go Ducks.

Quick Impressions from the Preseason Opener

I don't have time to do a full write-up on yesterday's preseason opener between the Sharks and Ducks, but I did want to report on a few interesting items. It was a pretty fun preseason game, actually, between all the fights and goals. I didn't end up taking any pictures (that's PJ's specialty, not mine), but that doesn't mean that I wasn't there!

Look, there's half of me, grinning stupidly about two seconds before Evans got floored.


More photo evidence of the green shirt sent by reader Scott.
Here's the main three takeaways I wanted to point out about yesterday's game, though.

a) What the hell, Anaheim? There was a bigger crowd in attendance last night than I've ever seen for a Ducks preseason game, to the point where I was getting pissed off about it. I mean, I understand that full houses are good for the team's revenue, but preseason has always represented a chance for me to come to a half-empty arena and enjoy easy parking, short lines, and crummy preseason hockey. Yesterday all I got was crummy preseason hockey. I don't really know why so many people showed up (and it certainly wasn't a full house), but it definitely caught me off-guard.

b) Question for Sharks fans: Who is this midget named Vesce? During last night's game, I was trying to learn about Ducks prospects, and pointed out to my friend how Ryan Dingle reminded me a lot of Andy McDonald -- small, quick, and clever with the puck. My friend replies, "That's the smallest skater I've ever seen!" I say, "Aw, he's not that little," but then realize that my friend isn't talking about Dingle at all. No, in fact there's an even littler dude skating around for the Sharks, Ryan Vesce. He didn't end up getting very much ice time, but we spent a good deal of time devising offensive plays for the Sharks that went something like this: "OK, Alex Semenov skates into the offensive zone and calls for a pass. Then out of nowhere Ryan Vesce jumps out of Semenov's breast pocket, steals the puck, and scores!"

c) The fight highlight of the night: Clowe gets "Bravehearted". The first two periods were littered with fights, mostly from players trying to earn jobs in the future, but even legitimate NHLers decided to get into it. For some reason, Kent Huskins, a guy I've always considered soft and laid back, decided he was sick of my opinion and decided to trade blows with Ryane Clowe. I was kind of shocked, because Clowe does have NHL fight experience, and pretty much I hoped that Huskins wouldn't get too badly hurt.

However, not only did Huskins hold his own in the fairly lengthy fight, but he even managed to cut Clowe pretty good above his left eye (you can see some if it in the picture to the right), and by the time the fight was over, half of Clowe's face was covered in blood. Now in full honesty the fight was pretty much even, but based on the blood spilled, the Anaheim crowd gave Huskins the biggest ovation of the night.

Clowe did return to the game after getting cleaned up, but the emotional damage was done. We even ended up coining a term for it, too. Clowe, you got "Bravehearted", dude. By Huskins, no less. Who would have thought?

Go Ducks.

[Update] Earl Sleek made me famous - Battle of California. I think Northern California wins the battle of the blurry fight background cameo appearances. Hand on chin = smart.

BoC Gameday—Re-establishing that gameday groove

San Jose Sharks at Anaheim Ducks, preseason
(My first opportunity to see Todd McLellan cry.)

That's right, kiddos. There's actual hockey being played tonight. Well, not actual hockey, but they are charging actual prices, and I'm hoping I drink enough where won't notice the difference. I normally don't write gameday posts for preseason games (this will be the only time this year), but today I'll make the exception. because tonight Sleek's in the house.

It'll be my usual spot, Section 223, Row B, adjacent to the Ducks' penalty box, wearing the lucky green shirt. Feel free to stop by, if you're daring enough... to attend a preseason game. I should warn you (gasp), I might not make it in time for the puck drop. I'm meeting up with three friends before the game, 67% of which have to sneak out of work. Still, we shouldn't be too late, and I'd imagine we'll be in good "doesn't matter / it's the preseason" spirits.

I guess I should give my annual Row B disclaimer: I am a guy who's been damn spoiled, but I'm not anyone who is particularly rich or particularly well-connected. These are certainly not my season seats, as I have neither the dollars nor the influence to arrange that. It is by sheer luck that I am able to "buy in" on a ticketholder's seats (1 preseason + 3 regular season + ? playoffs), thanks to a former boss of mine. These games represent most of my actual attendance, and pretty much all the dollars I spend on the Ducks.

Anyways, if you can't attend, you can listen for me on the internet radio broadcast (regular radio's too good for preseason openers); I'll be the one who sounds like he's wearing a green shirt yelling semi-coherently at the nearest ref about a Pahlsson contract extension. I don't know who's in either team's lineup tonight, but that hardly matters. Thanks to NHL 09's Be a Pro Mode starting me out on the Iowa Chops, I feel that I'm now a qualified judge of minor league talent (and by my digital eye the keepers on that team are Festerling and Ebbett).

Prediction: Ducks 4, Sharks 2. And it won't matter one bit. Goals by Getzlaf (if he plays), Festerling (if he plays like he did in NHL 09), Pahlsson (if he plays), and Boguniecki (whether he plays or not).

Slowly but surely, BoC is shifting into season mode. Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Stage Five: Acceptance

Round One, Game Five: (5) Dallas Stars at (4) Anaheim Ducks
(DAL leads series 3-1, JavaGeek ‘odds’: DAL 87%)

My roommate and I will be back in Row B tonight to (in my mind, at least) bid farewell to the 2007-08 Anaheim Ducks, who at the very least gave us a lot to talk about this year.

It's really odd how at peace I seem to be with the situation; I certainly would be a lot more agitated if the series were tied. Now instead of nailbiting my way through a game with a series in the balance, tonight's game will fall a bit more into the "foregone conclusion" category. Even if the Ducks win, JavaGeek will still tell me they're bound to lose the series. That gives me the luxury of relaxing and probably enjoying myself a bit more, and I'll take it.

I certainly was much more of a wreck when the Mighty Ducks were down 3 games to 1 against the Oilers two playoffs ago, but back then it seemed a Cup was on the line. Now the Cup is still a ways away, and I dunno, I'm not pining or whining as hard as I used to. I can understand the players being emotionally tired; I'm also emotionally tired. I can understand the players being unfocused; I'm also unfocused. And I'm just a lazy blogger.

So I think I'm going to be pretty loose today; my plan is really to have a blast and enjoy the show, regardless of result. Win or lose, tonight is my send-off party for the Ducks. My chance to yell "One more year!" for Teemu and "Fuck retirement!" to Niedermayer.

Until that final whistle in that final game, they'll still be the champs. Let's see if they can stomp their way out of this one.

Side note to Brian Burke and the rest of Duck management: Pay attention tonight to the crowd at the start of tonight's game and how the players feed off the energy. I know it's desperation playoff time, but it's also a 7:30 pm start, a half hour later than usual, which in SoCal traffic is a gift from heaven. 7 pm start times probably gets the Ducks more east coast viewers, but it kills a lot of us who have to meet up somewhere before going inside. And it really kills the few of us who like to meet up, have a few drinks, then go inside. If I could have one (realistic) wish for the Ducks next year: go back to 7:30 pm start times. Start the game with a fuller house and I think the fans and the team both benefit.

[Late Addition: I totally forgot. I had a post planned last year in the event of an elimination game, and I never had to use it. I have a secret weapon that's good for three straight shutouts, but it's going to be painful: Sammy Pahlsson has to go back to Sweden. In 2003, Patrick Kjellberg left the Ducks mid-playoffs to go to Sweden, and the team responded with three straight shutouts over the Wild. In 2006, Jonathan Hedstrom left the Ducks mid-playoffs to go to Sweden, and the team responded with three straight shutouts, one against the Flames and two against the Avalanche. I hate to see Sammy leave as much as anyone, but that's Burke's fault. He should have been carrying a spare Swede on the roster just for this eventuality.]

Prediction: The Ducks feed off my calmness and decide to re-stress me by winning. Ducks 5, Stars 2. Goals by Selanne, Carter, Moen, Pahlsson, and Parros.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—A shirt for all occasions

Round One, Game Two: (5) Dallas Stars at (4) Anaheim Ducks
(DAL leads series 1-0, JavaGeek 'odds': DAL 70%)

Well, looks like my green shirt is pulling double duty today. My dad and I will be in Row B tonight next to the (hopefully unoccupied) Ducks penalty box, rallying the web-footed ones back into this series.

First, though, we'll be at a bar rooting on the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, a surprising participant in its first ever NCAA mens hockey finals. Now I never attended Notre Dame University (I'm a Blue Devil who couldn't handle hard winters), but the Fighting Irish runs pretty deep in my family. My dad and two of my siblings are alumni, and my baby brother will be graduating from ND in about a month. It would be a bit ironic; possibly the worst football season in ND's history (so I'm told) could be accompanied by its best hockey season ever.

So it should make for a pretty good Saturday double header, and damn if I don't seem to have the one t-shirt that seems perfectly designed for both these games. Now I should note that I haven't seen an Irish hockey game all season (hey, I live in SoCal and don't have a lot of hockey viewing options), and purposely didn't watch the DVR version of G1 in this Ducks series, so I'm not going to offer any particular advice. Blah, blah, blah, win the thing.

Go Irish! Go Ducks!
Anyways, if you're in the arena you can try to find me during the intermission, or you can try to spot me on TV. I'll be the idiot who realizes upon arriving that he's the only green shirt in the arena that's not rooting for the Dallas Stars. Let's hope it works.

Prediction: Irish 3, Eagles 1, and Ducks 3, Stars 1. Goals by Bertuzzi, Pahlsson, Beauchemin, and three Irishmen I've never heard of. If anyone knows who to watch for in the Irish game, let me know in the comments.

Go Ducks.

BoC Gameday—Bloggers in the house

Los Angeles Kings (30-40-6, 15th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (43-26-8, 3rd in west)

Pretty soon I'll get around to looking at Anaheim's prospective playoff matchups, and Rudy will start filling this blog with nonsense about some mythical Monarchs team, but for tonight, it's pride night at Honda Center. Two SoCal teams who've followed two separate sets of storylines since their opening pair of games in London get to meet up in Anaheim tonight, and neither team has a desperate need for wins.

And on top of it all, it's BoC blogger night, Row B Edition. There may be some impression that Rudy and I are great off-the-blog chums, but really I'll be meeting him for the second time ever tonight, and we'll be alternately cheering and crying next to the Anaheim penalty box. It's the seats that made PJ famous, so if you're in the house tonight and are feeling sociable, find a way to say hi. As usual, I'll be sporting the lucky green shirt.

I think tonight's game will also be attended by Finny, Cassie, CKim, and kms2, so there may be more bloggers than on-ice officials scattered throughout the arena.

As for the Ducks, who knows what lineup they'll be putting out there tonight? For sure Perry and Pronger are out, and Getzlaf and Giguere are both iffy. Who knows? If Carlyle plans on starting Hiller against the Sharks on Friday, maybe we'll even see Jean-Sebastien Aubin battling his former team. That'd be a hoot.

Prediction: Hopefully it's a fun one, and neither Rudy or I end up getting thrown out or quitting the blog. Ducks 4, Kings 3. Goals by Selanne, Kunitz, Pahlsson, and Ryan.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Back so soon?

Ottawa Senators (37-23-6, t-3rd in east) at Anaheim Ducks (37-23-7, 3rd in west)

It's been nearly nine months since the Senators set foot in Anaheim, which means it's been nearly nine months since I wept tears of joy, but my grin still remains.

And while both these teams have near-identical records coming into this game, there's certainly been an odd pattern in getting there. The Ducks were a .500 team before Scott Niedermayer returned to the lineup (15-15-4), but they have amassed a 22-8-3 record ever since. The Senators, meanwhile, screamed out of the gate. They were 21-7-3 before Scott returned to the league, but have been reduced to a .500 club ever since (16-16-3). I'm not sure why the Sens have so much trouble winning in a league with two Niedermayers, but there you have it.

I spent some time today watching a few games from that SCF series; wow that was a crazy series. I mean, with Minnesota, Vancouver, and Detroit at least we had some idea of how the teams matched up, but Ottawa was a very unfamiliar foe (for nostalgia's sake, here's 10 questions about the Senators and 9 questions about the Ducks from before the finals). In the west, Pahlsson had been shutting down scoring lines all playoffs, but on the other hand the Spezza line was ripping through checking lines in the east with ease. It seemed whoever won that matchup was likely to take the series, and fortunately for me, Sammy dominated, and it wasn't really close. For Sens fans who haven't followed the Ducks since last June, the checking line is still intact; McDonald and Penner have departed, but have been replaced by Bertuzzi, Weight, Schneider, and Bergeron. It's scary, but this year's Ducks team may turn out to be better than last year's version; since Selanne's return Anaheim is 10-1, an eleven-game record that they were only able to accomplish once last year.

For more Sens-friendly coverage, check out Battle of Ontario, Scarlett Ice, Sens Army, and Five for Smiting.

I can tell you that I'm pumped for tonight's game, because I'll be in a familiar spot: sporting the lucky green shirt and sitting in the Row B seats (the same ones I had for SCF G2: Sammy 1, Sens 0). I imagine I'll be playing the part of the loud-mouthed gloater, especially once I get some liquor in me. Feel free to stop by and say hi, or catch me in the intermissions hanging with the smokers.

Prediction: The really sweet thing is, it doesn't even matter what happens tonight. If the Ducks beat the Sens tonight, then Ottawa fans will be depressed—they aren't any closer than they were last spring. If the Sens beat the Ducks tonight, then Ottawa is depressed for another reason—where was that effort last June when they really needed it? Well, I'll take Option A: Ducks 4, Senators 2. Anahiem goals by Selanne, Coach Pronger, Pahlsson, and G5 hero Chris Phillips. A frustrated Daniel Alfredsson maliciously shoots a puck at the cup banner.

Go Ducks.

BoC Gameday—Somebody's takin' the Pacific tonight!

San Jose Sharks (7-7-1, t-7th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (6-8-3, t-7th in west)

Hell yeah it's gameday, and even though I've spent the last month in a pretty steady whine, I'm optimistic. I don't know why, really. I've been to Honda Center twice this year and have yet to see a Ducks goal. Fortunately, they still serve liquor at the ol' HC.

Anyways, I'll be in Row B tonight, sporting the lucky green and needing a haircut (maybe a coat, too; weather's been weird here--haven't seen the sun for days). And I'll be dutifully reminding Roenick of his career goal total, so he can free his mind to concentrate on other things. Like which team he wants to sign with next summer, for instance.

The Sharks come in with a pretty ridiculous see-saw record. O-W-L-W-L-W-L-W-W-L-L-W-L-W-L. It strongly suggests that they are due for a win tonight, but that doesn't dismay me. If I were a Sharks fan, though, I'd start wondering what would happen if Nabokov didn't have to start all 82. (From this fantasy owner's perspective, though, I say "Go for it, Nabby!")

It's really funny, but despite both teams falling short of early expectations, one of them will be atop the Pacific standings tonight. JavaGeek quantified something I've been noticing on the out-of-town scoreboard. For whatever reason, there are 40% fewer overtime games happening this year than the previous three seasons. I suspect it means teams are getting better at holding leads, but in a more practical sense, it means that the playoff bar has been lowered this year--there are just less points being distributed. Last year it took 96 points to make the playoffs in the west; I suspect that number will be much lower this year.

Prediction: My predictions have sucked this year, so today's prediction is in the form of a cartoon--a duck kicking its way out of a shark stomach. Strong kick by Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Out of nowhere, BoC Gameday!

San Jose Sharks (0-0-1) at Anaheim Ducks (2-1-1)

Well, it’s all happened within the last hour, but without a lot of warning, it turns out that I will be in my old haunt tonight—the Row B seats—for my first glimpse of post-championship NHL hockey. If you’re going to be there, feel free to stop by and say hi to the guy in the green shirt, otherwise I’ll probably just see you all in hell (translation: I will tell you how it went tomorrow).

Prediction: Ducks 4, Sharks 2. Goals by Perry, some new kid, Beauchemin, and how about Brad May’s first goal in a Ducks uniform? Damn, I miss Pahlsson already.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Good omen: Lucky shirt to attend G2

Round Four, Game Two: (4) Ottawa Senators at (2) Anaheim Ducks
(ANA leads series 1-0, JavaGeek ‘odds’: ANA 66%)

Oof. It's really late and I haven't really written anything for this game. As it is the Cup Finals, though, I'm pretty sure there's enough being written about tonight's game, even about the Pahlsson line, if you can believe it.

At any rate, I'll be in attendance for G2 as well, my last game of the year. And wouldn't you know it, I even got the good Row B seats by the Ducks' penalty box (quite the prime spot to see Duck players lately). Stop by and say hi, or maybe just look for me on TV; I'll be wearing the lucky green shirt, as always.

As for the game itself, well, Ottawa's certainly likely to come out a better squad than they did in G1--the Senators hadn't lost a regulation game on the road in nearly three months. But I think the Ducks can be better also, particularly on special teams.

Ultimately, though, the key's the same as G1: find a way to win. The Ducks have an opportunity to get a real stranglehold on this series, and they'll have a Honda Center full of supporters rooting them on (provided everyone leaves work by 3 pm, of course).

Prediction: Ducks 4, Senators 1. Giguere plays a beauty. Goals by Marchant, Selanne, Pahlsson, and Beauchemin.

Go Ducks.

The view from my playoff seat

(Author's warning: I absolutely suck at photography, and where I sit, pretty much everything gets shot through a pane of glass. It is pretty evident that my autofocus camera decides that it would rather focus on the glass than the people behind it, but I really do not have the know-how or the sobriety to fix it; my solution is really just to point-and-shoot some more. I apologize these pics aren't better, but you should see the ones that did not make the cut!)

(Alternatively, you might just say that this is my perspective as I got progressively drunker throughout the game.)

Here's a real rarity, both Rob Niedermayer and Sammy Pahlsson sitting side by side in the box, begging the question, "Oh crap, who's going to kill this penalty?"

This was early in the first period, and the lady sitting next to me (between myself and the box) really thought I was nuts, between the "Go get 'em Sammy!" yells and me trying repeatedly to get a half-decent photo (turns out the best I could get was a quarter-decent shot).

After they served their time and I put the camera back in my pocket she sighs in the way only an O.C. woman can, and mutters, "You act like you've never been here before."

My only reply? "Well, I never bring my camera here; usually it's just drinking and yelling." It's too difficult to quickly explain and justify a man-crush to a woman that disgusted.

Teemu Selanne in the second period, after his unsportsmanlike penalty. For some reason, I get to see Selanne in the box a lot, and most of the time it is stuff like diving or even his illegal stick. I always try to yell some words of encouragement in there, because really, who likes a depressed Finn?

Selanne is probably the only player who does any sort of acknowledgement to the crowd, though it sometimes isn't more than a quirky eyebrow raise, as if to say, "Who knew that they would call THAT in this day and age?" I always try to control my eyebrows so they don't send the message, "I knew."

Chris Pronger in the box. I never got a really great shot of him (a common theme here), but I was pretty excited to have him there. Despite sitting in these seats six times this year, Pronger had never ever EVER come to visit. It was kind of depressing, really, because I saw him take plenty of penalties on TV.

Is it me, Chris? Is a trade demand imminent?

OK, by now you can see that I am extremely untalented, but to prove it here's Andy McDonald parading around at warp speed as the first star of the game, not in the least bit considerate of us new photo-bloggers who can't seem to focus on anything but the glass in front of them. It occurred to me on my way home that tonight was the second time I had ever thrown a hat on the ice at an NHL contest, and both times it followed a McDonald goal against Vancouver (though this was the first time I actually threw it for an actual hat trick).

Flash back to preseason 2005, immediately following the lockout. In lockout-starved eagerness, I snagged Row B tickets to one of the first preseason games the Ducks played, against the Canucks. Recall, if you will, the format of those first preseason games: no matter the outcome of the game, they would still stage a shootout afterwards (even in non-tie situations). Well, we had lost the game 3-1, and were on our way to also losing that shootout, but Andy Mac managed to score one against Dan Cloutier, and just out of post-lockout excitement (and disbelief that we could lose a game and a shootout), I threw my hat on the ice.

Did I mention that I was drinking that night also?

Any way, there were still four or five shooters left, and the refs noted that there was a hat there sitting awkwardly by the penalty boxes. But they kind of looked at each other and shrugged; after all, it wasn't in the way of anything. All they needed for a shootout was the center stripe. So it sat there, uncomfortably, until the shootout had ended.

I was kind of proud of myself, though. I rationalized, hey, that's the first hat that's been thrown in a year-and-a-half. Welcome back, NHL.

(Think you are better than me at photographing from your playoff seat? Prove it! E-mail your best shots to japers.rink.photos@gmail.com)

Ducks Gameday—Row B, and the longest bloglist in U.S. history

Round Two, Game One: (3) Vancouver Canucks at (2) Anaheim Ducks
(JavaGeek ‘odds’: ANA 63%)

You might think that I’d write something meaningful about this game, given that the 8 teams that won G1 in the first round went on to win the series, but how can I concentrate on that kind of nonsense when I’ve got the Row B seats (playoff edition) tonight?

It’s pretty embarrassing, really, that a jerk like me has (very occasional) access to these seats, but I tell ya, there really are benefits to being a long-time supporter for one of the less respectable franchises during its formative Disney years. So, if you’re at the game, or trying to spot me on TV, I’ll be in my lucky green shirt drinking my stress away, probably to the point that everyone looks like a Sedin to me.

-----------------------------------
So, is there anyone in the greater British Columbia area who is NOT writing a Canucks blog? Here’s a quick rundown for you Duck fans:

Canucks & Beyond
Alanah is one of the best goof-off writers out there, and has been doing it for a long time. The fact that she aligned herself with notorious Red Wing supporter Kukla’s Korner is kuite kurious, but hey, we all gotta sell our souls to some devil.

Jes Gőlbez
Another of what I consider the ‘godfathers’ of blogging, Jes can get pretty silly and opinionated himself; a true fan’s voice in a sea of ordinary commentary. I won’t spoil anything, but there is a bit of a side bet running on this series’ outcome between myself and the Slovak-lover / Swede-hater.

Tom Benjamin
A much different writer than the ones above, but any time I think about my favorites in the blogosphere, TB is always among my top three. Smart, sensible, and always tackling the hard issues, even if you don’t like what he has to say, pay attention to the way he says it. An argumentalist’s wet dream.

Canucks Hockey Blog
JJ is a guy who knows his hockey, loves his team, and links to everything written in the mainstream media that has ever been written about the Canucks. One of the most diligent bloggers out there.

Waiting for Stanley
Getting back to the slightly silly side of blogging, Zanstorm is a Photoshop master and a web designer beyond compare. He covers a LOT of what’s going on in the league, and puts his own spin on anything. Heavy, heavy drinker, which always gets points in my book.

Orland Kurtenblog
Some guys are just too damn funny, and these guys make me laugh a lot. They are out there scouring YouTube so you don’t have to.

Stick in Rink
Not my most frequent read, but always good to get a female perspective out there. Isabella is particularly fond of rounding up the best message board nonsense and calling it her own—a really nice feature, actually.

Hockey Numbers
I am regularly in awe of those who can pull mountains of variant data and turn it into meaning, and JavaGeek is one of the best. He’ll write about the league in general more than just Vancouver, but I’m sure under that robotic façade is a pretty serious Canucks fan.

Crazy Canucks.com
This is where bloggers from around Vancouver (and the world) gather round and like the mighty Voltron, form one enormous podcast, which from a production standpoint is pretty top-notch. It’s not exactly a formal setting, but they talk over all the Canuck issues, and hell, I’m supposed to be getting on the phone tonight postgame for a future episode. Not the most professional move, but I’m touched.

And as for blogs I’ve forgotten or only recently stumbled upon:
The Yankee Canuck, The Canucks Outsider, Canuck Fangirl, rodtempleton.net, and The Chief Canuck, well, I’m still getting to all of those, so keep it up. And anyone else with a Canuck site, shoot me your URL also. Might as well make this comprehensive (sigh).

Honestly, I don’t really know how these bloggers all manage to do it. When I got started, there were about zero Anaheim blogs, and still I feel like I’m kind of writing without a lot of redundant competition. Kudos to you all, but seriously, has anyone considered the idea of a Battle of Vancouver? It would certainly save me some money on open web browsers.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Canucks 1. If the last series G1 was any indication, I will be pretty drunk by the time anyone scores a goal, but that's not really a problem for me. Goals by Penner, Niedermayer the elder, Pahlsson, and McDonald. After the game ends, a lot of people will immediately go home and make a blogpost.

Go Ducks.

San Jose beats Anaheim with a stick, 3-2 shootout win after Selanne called for a width violation

Beautiful exterior of the Honda Center in Anaheim. Inside the fans are right on the ice, stacked high in three levels with a sight line similar to that in San Jose. The boards and glass were worn, surprisingly so, and the condition of the ice was a concern on a very warm day.



Joe Thornton taking a faceoff in the second period. The Sharks dominated on the draw, winning 35 of 54. Anaheim scored the lone power play goal (Scott Niedermayer) of the game in the first period.



Ron Wilson called for Teemu Selanne's stick to be measured for an illegal (width) at the start of overtime. Craig Rivet had a minute 24 seconds left to serve in a late third period hooking penalty, and the teams would be even up for most of OT. Selanne asked for his stick back at the end of regulation and the referees repeatedly said no.

The Ducks outshot San Jose 6-2 in overtime, and all 6 were solid scoring chances in front of the Sharks net. Evgeni Nabokov came up huge on several point blank saves, often with a number of bodies in front of him.



Teemu Selanne lining up his overtime shootout attempt, which missed the net wide. The next Anaheim shooter, Andy McDonald, deked the puck right and then lost it off his stick trying to reverse the direction. Only one player got a shot on net for the home team.

Ryan Getzlaf scored the first goal on the first attempt for Anaheim. Evgeni Nabokov closed his legs early, and Getzlaf fired in an easy goal with no reaction. Jonathan Cheechoo and Ryane Clowe scored 2 shootout goals in 2 attempts for San Jose. Game over, 3-2 win for the Sharks. Anaheim wins the season series, but San Jose wins one for NoCal and gains a huge momentum boost heading into the second season.

[Update] "We had an inkling his stick might be too wide. When you look at it, it's almost the width of a goalie stick." - Ron Wilson

Earl Sleek made me famous

Thursday I noticed this Getty Images photo from Anaheim-SJ on the front page of Yahoo NHL. Earl Sleek and friends hosted yours truely for a game at the Honda Center, and a familiar person popped up in the background of this shot.

Shawn Thornton is pictured in the midst of a long brawl with Ryane Clowe that took place in the second period. A full blow-by-blow recap is available from hockeyfights.com, or you can view this brief youtube clip of the first 30 seconds of the fight. The video ends before the refs stopped the action.



More on the game soon.

BoC Gameday—Ducks vs. Sharks or Sleek vs. Swenson?

San Jose Sharks (49-26-4, t-5th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (47-20-12, t-2nd in west)

Well, I'm not going to waste a lot of ink on this pre-game post, since today is both the last regular season meeting between the Sharks and Ducks, and the first meeting ever between PJ Swenson and Earl Sleek. We'll be chillin' in the awesome Row B seats, taunting whichever Duck decides to take their turn in the penalty box, and hopefully will have some cool postgame material to share (though I should warn you: depending on our consumption, postgame posts may appear days later).

The Ducks will clinch the Pacific today if both the Sharks and Stars lose (even in OT). Failing that, the Ducks can still own their destiny by gaining at least three points before the season is out, or at least some combination where points-earned by the Ducks and points-lost by the Sharks/Stars adds up to three.

Dare I point out that the Ducks are 6-0 when Sleek is in attendance this year (counting a 6-3 preseason win over the Sharks), having seen 4-3 win over L.A., a 6-2 win over Phoenix, a 5-0 win over the Sharks, a 4-1 win over the Stars, and a 4-2 win over Vancouver. 29 GF, 11 GA. Pretty damn solid.

Prediction: Ducks 5, Sharks 2. PJ nets a pair, but Sleek has a rare 5-pint night.

Pre-Announcement: Huge (Last Annual?) BoC Contest Coming!

I haven’t really thought through all the details yet, but I’ve got something to get you all excited. But first, any thought to what you (the reader) might be doing on Wednesday, April 4th, this year? Any chance you might be in Orange County, CA (or could schedule it in)?

Well, let me take a step back. Wednesday, April 4th, also happens to be the last home game of the season for the Anaheim Ducks—‘fan appreciation’ night, with a team photo giveaway and other prizes awarded throughout the evening. It is the last matchup of the season against the San Jose Sharks—who knows how these teams will finish up but it is pretty good odds that this game could still have Pacific seeding implications.

And I’ve got four Row B seats.

My good blog-buddy PJ (whom I’ve never met, but I love his photowork) has arranged to come to Anaheim for this game and will be sitting in one of the seats. And I, humble mystery blogger that I am, will be in another. And the other two? Could it be you? You, Lieutenant Weinberg?!

These are not the official rules (wait for the official Contest post, which I’ll put together when I’ve got a better idea of how this should run), but just so you have an idea, here’s some of the rules I’m considering:

1. The contest itself looks to be a hockey-themed cartoon contest (in fact, I doubt I’ll put much more guidelines than that; I like to keep it open-ended) with two winners chosen. Cartoons do NOT need to be about the Ducks or Sharks (though bear in mind who your judges are), and fret not, non-artists! It will be judged more on concept than on execution. Photoshopping is allowed, but each entry must contain at least one portion that is (clearly) hand-drawn. Multiple entries are allowed.

2. Being able to be here on the actual date is NOT a prerequisite to enter the contest. I’ll probably have you indicate on any submission whether you can attend the actual event or not, but (this part is still fuzzy) I will also have a prize for the best non-attending entry.

3. Winners must be at least 21 years old and have a valid Blogger account and an email address. There is no requirement that you will need to root for either the Sharks or the Ducks, but it is required that you are looking forward to the hockey and the experience. You must have a tolerant attitude towards (my) drinking, and please, no creeps (you know who you are).

4. For the out-of-towners: The prize really is only the game ticket itself—getting to Anaheim will be on your own money. Logistical things (getting picked up at the airport or at a hotel) can be arranged, but are not guaranteed. In fact, the only guarantees are the ticket and my cell phone number, but I’ll do my best to minimize any unnecessary travel costs (within reason). Winners will be announced at least one month before the event, so you can plan travel ahead of time.

5. Perhaps most importantly, there is to be absolutely no resale of these tickets. If you would like to enter the contest yourself on behalf of another person to attend, you need to convince me of that at the time of entry! However, nothing will piss me off more to run this contest and then to find out I’m sitting next to some stranger who’s never even heard of Battle of California.

6. Please, no entries from Vote-For-Rory votebots.

Heh, I haven’t even run this idea by PJ yet, but regardless, I’m always excited to bring hockey fans to enjoy these seats, and once I got the idea for a BoC Contest, I had to do it. It’s either the best or worst idea this blog has ever had, but there’s only one real way to find out which it really is.

If you have any questions, ideas, or complaints, go ahead and leave them in the comments. Again, remember these are NOT yet the official rules, but I thought I’d give a heads-up so readers outside the immediate area (red circles below) might think about coming to SoCal is realistic or not, and all readers can start thinking about their cartoons.

Red circle readers, start planning now!
Good luck, and hope to meet some of you soon!

Ducks-Stars: Tales from the Penalty Box

Well, as I mentioned in the GDP, I somehow snagged the Row B tickets to the Dallas game on Wednesday, and it was a blast. Now normally I bring my pal Damndaze along, (even though he’s a Red Wings fan) because he loves taking pictures from up close. However, Damndaze was out of town on business, and I had to take my own damn photos.

Now, I’m not real dedicated to photography or anything, especially when I’ve had some beers. Damndaze goes to a game and takes like 300 photos (a lot of them garbage-smudge, though); at the end of this game I think I had taken 16 shots (a couple of them garbage-smudge also). Most of the time the camera stays inaccessibly in my pocket, so I can safely drink my beer and still bang the glass if necessary.

Nevertheless, I did get some shots of some penalized Ducks. (Side gripe: this is my fourth game of five this season/preseason, and Chris Pronger refuses to take any damn penalties.)

OK, easily the best part of this game was the 90-second beating of metapest Matthew Barnaby, courtesy of the wicked fists of Shawn Thornton. It was a drawn-out yet one-sided affair that deep-down felt really good; it’s nice every once in a while when a big yapper-pest gets the beatdown he’s had coming to him for the better part of his career. I mean, it wasn’t knock-you-out decisive, but still Thornton pretty much made him his Barnabitch. And I tell ya, the Honda Center crowd was pretty damn pleased.

Once in the box, Thornton proceeded to reassemble his playing gear while still talking it up with the persistent (I’ll give him that) Barnaby. It was pretty amusing for all of us to watch. Anyway, awesome work, Shawn.

The next two penalties were both taken by Teemu Selanne, who suspiciously enough had been quoted that morning in the OC Register, saying: “I don’t want Lady Byng. Burkie would probably trade me if I won Lady Byng.”

Any way, Teemu showed up both times pleading his innocence, and I managed only one good shot out of both visits. I yelled "Go get 'em, Teemu!" in the closing seconds of each penalty, with the exuberance only a beer-drinker can muster.

In the third period, I got another rare visitor, Cap’n Niedermayer, for another minor. I tell ya, I was really struck by the intensity sitting next to that guy. I know that’s an overused word, but Scott intensely watched the Ducks kill his penalty. It was like he was memorizing it or something, kinda kreepy, actually.

Later in the third period, both Shawn Thornton and Shane O’Brien took coincidental minors for double-roughing Barnaby (again), and Shawn spent the entire time re-enacting the earlier bout for Shane’s amusement, giving him a blow-by-blow account. It was pretty cool to watch, those guys were having a good time that night.

In this shot, he is showing O’B how to move his hands faster than a digital camera’s default shutter speed in the hands of a drunken techno-idiot. You know, the kind of idiot who can't even frame well enough to get even one guy's face in the damn shot.

Oh yeah, and outside the penalty box, Ducks won the game as well. Goals by Capt. Niedermayer, Pronger, and two by Corey Perry--on a night when Moustache was scratched, of course.

27-4-6 means 60 points (!) for the Ducks, with still two more shopping days until Christmas. One year ago today, Anaheim had 38 points, while Ottawa and Detroit led the league with 51 points.

What’s the phrase I’m looking for? Oh yeah, Holy Christ Shit Moly Smokes! Sure there's bound to be downturns at some time, but for now the outlook is cautiously awesome.

Hope you like the photos, and have a good holiday weekend, readers-who-only-read-blogs-when-they’re-at-the-office!

Belated Memories of Game One

Sorry I haven’t reported in with my at-the-game antics from last Friday’s BoC-inaugural Kings-Ducks matchup, but I was pretty drunk while at the game, and was cut off from my computer for the weekend.

At any rate, my three highlights from the game (aside from anything really on the ice) were:

1. Meeting Girl with a puck after the game and impressing her with my slurred speech and general tallness

Now I got it easy sitting up front three games a year and yelling at players and all, but she’s a real dedicated Duck fan-blogger. If I’m not mistaken, she was in the very last row of Honda Center Friday night yelling at passing planes. In fact, stop reading my site and go see how a real fan feels.

She could not, however, produce an actual puck upon request. She had good enough excuses (“It’s in my purse, which is in the car”), but I’ve still got my doubts as to the validity of her blogger name.

Then again, my name’s not really Earl Sleek, so I guess I’m fucking bullshit (see below).

2. Sitting one row back and a few seats over from baseball scandal legend Mark McGwire.

I’m very bad with sports that don’t rhyme with “bockey”, but even I know the Big Mac when I see him (not to be confused with Andy Mac). As my photo-shooting friend Damndaze learned during an intermission “chat”, Big Mac was in the house to support his St. Louis buddy Chris Pronger, and to sip his beer and enjoy the strange ice-sport before his eyes.

Hey, maybe the guy is a hockey fan. He never really seemed distracted or disinterested, but I strongly suggest his front-row presence and his Pronger jersey had more to do with a personal invitation than, say, an interest in the sport or the team.

I even got in on a shot with him, though (mostly because it’s a bad shot and I've still got a day job) I’m maintaining Eklund-level anonymity at this point.

So that was cool, but I’m stalling. For me, these things paled in comparison to…

3. Teemu shocks us all with his dirty diving mouth

Now I didn’t really see the play very well where he got called, but once we heard it was a diving call, we naturally tried to cheer up our good buddy Teemu. “Baloney call!”, “No way, ref!”, and things like that.

But then Teemu (who I think wasn’t drinking) decided to take it up a notch.

I shit you not. God’s honest truth. E5. Not under his breath, either; he belted it.

Don’t get me wrong. I see plenty of swearing in the box, and I’ve been admonished by security about controlling my own beer-inspired tongue, but I've never heard a dirty peep from Teemu. Teemu's a nun with a wicked wrist shot.

Here’s a list of things I would expect to say “fucking bullshit” before Teemu would: a newborn baby, an unwatered plant, a passage in the bible, a freshly-lit cigarette.

You get the idea. We were fucking floored.

Our little Teemu is now an adult. Welcome to the twenty-first motherfucking century.

This Friday: Game One, Row Two

In the nearly 5 months this blog has been under operation, we have yet to actually see a meaningful game between the Battle of California constituents. Well, patient readers, that all changes this coming Friday, when the new-look Anaheim Ducks open their season by hosting the new-roster L.A. Kings at Honda Center (the arena’s new name becomes official today).

And, as I just found out this morning, I will be in attendance in my three-times-a-season Row B seats, drinking my eight-dollar beers and yelling at multimillion-dollar players. As always, player taunt suggestions are appreciated, both for Kings on the ice or Ducks in the box.

Look out, Kings. The Ducks are opening up the can of Wup Ass, and you're first on the list.

Damn I can't wait.