Ducks Gameday—Sleek starts a campaign

Florida Panthers (4-8-1, 15th in east) at Anaheim Ducks (9-6-1, 3rd in west)
The truth about cats and birds.

I don't have anything to say about tonight's matchup against the Cats, but I do want to recommend The Litter Box, a Panthers-themed hockey blog that I enjoy thoroughly. Whale4Ever mixes his hockey updates with plenty of awesome images and plenty of snark, and I'm much more pro-Cat thanks to his efforts. Rock on, dude.

Instead, I wanted to ride the coattails of the campaign fever that's been taking over BoC, between Mike Chen's push for Seto/Gooch to the All-Star Game and Rudy Kelly's Doughty for the Calder Trophy movement that's just picking up steam. Well, just because I'm apolitical and anti-voting doesn't mean that I don't care about important issues, and there's certainly one movement I'd like to throw my negligible weight behind. As a bonus, it's not even anything I have to convince you readers to do—the primary audience for this message is for just one person only: Brian Burke.

C'mon, Burkie, you know that Sammy would re-sign you.
As you know, Brian Burke is probably headed elsewhere next year, and I've already stated that he's got my blessing—at least he's left the team in a flexible enough salary position next year that a replacement GM won't be cap-cramped to start the new job. Here's who the Ducks currently have under salary for next year, with everyone else a free agent:

Forwards: Getzlaf, Perry, Kunitz, Selanne, Carter, Ryan + some Bertuzzi money
Defensemen: Pronger
Goalies: Giguere, Hiller

Combined, it comes to some $32.5 M, which is a bit pricy, but at least some expensive positions are pre-filled (goaltending, scoring forwards, top d-man). Well, over the next few weeks I plan on coming up with Burke's Bucket List: a list of items I'd like to see Burke do before hitting "greener pastures" next summer.

First and foremost is re-signing Sammy Pahlsson, who of course I could write volumes about (as we'll see once this campaign really gets rolling), but for now, let's just focus on the penalty killing. Since Burke took over the team, the Ducks have taken strange pride in their ability to take penalties, and Pahlsson has quietly shouldered the brunt of that. Since the lockout (regular season only), Sammy has played nearly 1,103 shorthanded minutes, which is the seventh highest total in the league behind Bouwmeester, Phillips, Lidstrom, Havelid, Chara, and Keith -- all defensemen. His total is 222 more minutes than the next highest forward, Ottawa's Chris Kelly (note: this was a hasty study just looking at just the top 90 minute-getters for each season, but I think it's correct).

So Burke, you owe it to Ducks fans, Ducks players, and especially to Sammy himself -- four more years, dude. I'm not even going to make a recommendation on dollars; whatever it takes is fine by me -- even if it's an overpayment, we still probably owe Sammy for the harsh service he's endured for the past four years.

So anyway, that's the start of my campaign; more to come in future posts. Feel free to lend your support in the comments.

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More Tragedy in the Oilogosphere: You'll of course recall last month's incident between DMFB and the Oilers pressbox that led to Dave's departure from hockey blogging. Well, now the damage is doubled. Mike W, another CiO contributor and inspiration for my hockey blogging has likewise decided to give up his posting, and again, I am crushed by the news.

Mikey, please keep visiting, and trust me, I'll post anything you draw. And don't give up the Chamber of Comics -- it's sheer awesomeness, at least the parts that Internet Explorer will let me see.

I would be remiss if I didn't link to this -- pretty much the best thing any hockey blogger has ever done, ever.

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And lastly, part two of my interview with Tom L. and Tapeleg from The Rink Podcast has now been posted, and this time it's Sleek from start to finish. Lots covered there, from some philosophy of what this blog is all about to remeniscing on the 2003 Cup run, and some follow-up thoughts about Paul Kariya. Enjoy!

Prediction: Ducks 3, Cats 1. Goals by Kunitz, Pahlsson (shorthanded, I'm sure), and Carter.

Go Ducks.

Kings Gameday: Getting Our Positivity Back

LA Kings (3-6-2) vs. Florida Panthers (4-6-1)

7:30 PST, Fox Sports West


In the war for Southern California, we all know who is good and who is evil: the Kings are good, and the Ducks are evil. Not like really evil or anything, more like Saturday morning cartoon evil.* Recently, the Ducks trio of terror (Corey Perry, Teemu Selanne, and Ryan Getzlaf) were all mired in slumps, probably brought on by all the sand in their vaginas. The Kings' good players (Kopitar, O'Sullivan, Frolov and Brown), meanwhile, were continuing being their wonderful selves, picking up about a point a game. The dichotomy was best shown in the Kings' 6-3 win over the Ducks, where the courageous Kings combined for 6 points to the Ducks' 1.

*Teemu is Shredder, Ryan Getzlaf & Corey Perry are Bebop & Rocksteady. I guess that means Kopitar is Leonardo, Brown is Michaelangelo, O'Sullivan is Rafael and Frolov is obviously Donatello. Oh, and I get to be Usagi Yojimbo!

Earl Sleek (artist's rendering)

This was obviously unacceptable to Earl Sleek, who is kind of like Krang. He stumbled upon the key to success in the NHL: Positivity. Positivity is the lifeblood of a hockey player and the Ducks were missing it since their game is based on Negativity. So, like any great villain, it's obvious that Earl Sleek has stolen the Kings' Positivity, resulting in piss-poor play from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kings since. Consider this: the first 6 games of the season, the Kings' combined for 19 points while the Ducks had only 3; since then, the Kings have only 5 points in 5 games while the Ducks have an unbelievable 46 points. The Kings must get their Positivity back. And I think only I can do it.

Wish me luck.

I'm headed into dark territory now, armed only with my trusty bowstaff and my Positivity. And my gun. I'm going to get the Kings' Positivity back for their game against Florida tonight. It'll be a tough road; Anaheim is pretty far from me and the roads are really confusing, but I'll get there if I have to die trying. Watch the game tonight: if O'Sullivan, Frolov, Brown and Kopitar are their usual selves, then Earl Sleek is probably dead and the world is saved. Otherwise...

Prediction: Kings win, 7-3. Goals by Kopitar (x3), Brown (x2), Frolov and O'Sullivan. Goodbye, Earl.

"Offseason" cartoons: The rest of the east

Well, I certainly have fallen behind on my offseason goal of cartooning new mascots for all the divisions, haven't I? Looking back, I haven't done one since August. Previous divisions include: Pacific, Northwest, Central, and the Atlantic.

Well, nothing like a hangover do-nothing Saturday to complete old tasks, eh?

First off, we have the Southeast Division:

We have the Tampa Bay Lightning Bolt, the Atlanta Thrash-Can, the Carolina Hurricane, the WASHINGTON CAPS, and the Florida Panthro.

And finally, the Northeast Division:
Here we see the Buffalo Sabre being confronted by the Boston Bruin, the Ottawa Senator Palpatine, the Toronto Maple Leaf, and of course the diminutive Le Hobbitant de Montréal.

Hope you enjoy 'em. Off to the couch for me!

Ducks Gameday—Old Friends Reunion Tour

Today: Anaheim Ducks (23-3-6, 1st in west) at Florida Panthers (10-16-6, 14th in east)
Tomorrow: Anaheim Ducks (24-3-6, 1st in west) at Atlanta Thrashers (18-8-5, 2nd in east)

Another set of back-to-backs on the Ducks’ Sherman march through the Southeast, but this time it gets a little more nostalgic. These particular games feature Ruslan Salei and Vitaly Vishnevski, some nasty defensemen who got replaced this past offseason by a monster named Pronger. These two ugly mugs combined to play over 1,000 games for the Anaheim franchise, not to mention contributed minutes in our two lengthy playoff runs, and I miss the hell out of them.

Rusty Salei, the Ducks’ first round pick in 1996 (9th overall), signed a 4-year deal last July with the Florida Panthers, where I hear he is playing admirably on a not-very-strong team. His 20 points would put him 3rd on the Ducks’ blueline, only 7 points behind Scott Niedermayer. Still, the Panthers have only won 2 of their last 10 games, which includes a stretch of being shut out in three consecutive games. Salei is tough as nails and can be a decent puck-mover when he wants to be. He definitely struggled at first with the new enforcement rules, but improved significantly towards the end of the season. He is an adorable Belarusian beast, a thorn in scorers’ sides.

Vitaly Vishnevski, Anaheim’s first round pick in 1998 (5th overall), is still a work-in-progress, I would say, after he was traded to Atlanta following his arbitration award. Vishnevski, the name proudly sewn on the back of my only Anaheim jersey, is a momentum-hit artist, with an innate sense of when to intercept and clobber an unprepared rushing forward. He’s never shown great interest in scoring, but still left Anaheim as a very popular player. It’s good to see Vitaly playing well on a division-leading Thrashers team, along with other former Mighty Ducks Steve Rucchin, Niclas Havelid, Jason Krog, and Mark Popovic. I’m being a bit selfish here, but if I could undo only one of Brian Burke’s GM moves, Vitaly would still be an Anaheim blueliner (and this jersey would still be half-relevant).

Prediction: Ducks 9, former Ducks 5. Salei pesters Selanne and Vishnevski buries Perry.

(For more on Salei and Vishnevski, see my offseason going away post or take the “Are you a Vishnevski or a Visnovsky?” quiz.)

Back from the road trip

Well, that was a pretty fun weekend in Michigan, though I ended up spending all my time in Dearborn and Ann Arbor rather than Detroit. I was pretty much tied up with family activities, but one of the strangest/most rewarding treats was an odd phenomenon known as Whirly Ball, which is a whimsical combination involving bumper cars, basketball, and lacrosse.
Quite fun, actually. Might be a good game for Mark Bell to look into.

Speaking of getting bumped, the big news was in Florida, where GM Mike Keenan was Bertuzzi’d out by Panthers ownership.
Like the woeful Islanders up north, Florida has fired a GM after allowing him to commit all available salary to the free agent market. Neil Smith and Mike Keenan will leave significant fingerprints on an offseason (including a draft) that has yet to see NHL ice.

You know, the first time it’s funny, the second time it’s pathetic.

Tom Benjamin had done some math to show the per capita revenue disparity between U.S. and Canadian fans, and I don’t care enough to check the math. But one thing that should go into that equation is that by and large, the Candian six are a decent-run bunch compared to some of the nutjobs down here.

I wouldn’t begrudge an Islander or Panther fan who stayed away from the rink this year. How much can you invest in a team where the owner has already given the intergalactic vote of 'no confidence'?