Ducks Gameday—The Avery Impact

Anaheim Ducks (14-9-3, 3rd in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (10-6-6, t-7th in west)
How much will this post cost me in karma dollars?

Instead of talking up this Chicago rematch, I'm going to throw my two rambly cents in on the Avery suspension. I don't like it.

Now don't get me wrong; there's a lot to dislike about Avery, including this recent set of inflammatory remarks, but you have to recognize Avery for what he is -- a sensationalist media creation. Over the years, reporters have glorified his personality and encouraged his bad boy behavior (which I can understand -- NHLers are generally too boring for newsstands). And that's the thing -- I do believe Avery's statements were intended more to feed the hungry media than they were to hurt Dion Phaneuf / Elisha Cuthbert's feelings. He was doing what he was expected to do -- agitate and entertain -- and more or less in the manner that he was trained to do.

It wasn't out of line with the media characterization that was built up over his career, nor with the persona that the Stars signed last summer. I dunno, it's like giving a dog a treat for coming inside six days a week but then beating it for doing so on Sunday -- maybe there was a vague line that was crossed, but I don't think Avery thought he was "detrimental to the League". If anything, he was promoting the league in the best way he knew how.

Sure, it's not normally acceptable behavior to be calling out players for their love lives, and we can debate the shock value of the words "sloppy seconds" compared to other word choices, but it's not as if this elephant wasn't already in the room -- Avery did manage to get himself in trouble without naming a single name. In a practical sense, Avery took a topic that dozens of hockey writers have already made crude jokes about and then shockingly made one himself.

In short, Avery was Avery, and the NHL suspended him for it without any strong precedent. As an isolated incident involving a rival team, I probably don't care about this that much, but I do worry about where it leads. We're already in a period where player interviews are purposefully bland and carefully measured, and while Avery is certainly not the model of ideal media interaction, he was different from the robotic mold and punished because of it. Going forward I think the NHL should probably publish a list of do-not-discuss guidelines -- it's a sham that they can't define a social barrier until after it's been crossed. Even so, as I point out in the cartoon, I suspect we'll see even less personality in front of a microphone from players in the future, and that general insincerity will probably be another barrier between the players and the fans, and that's sort of a shame.

Sean Avery is no hero, and I don't mean to present him as even a likeable figure, but it's really tough for me to see the rationale for the league's suspension. I think it's a dangerous path to discourage personality in front of the microphone without any specific guidelines, and we're probably in for a blander NHL as a result (though in fairness, we were probably in for that anyway). Anyways, I'm open to being convinced -- feel free to agree or disagree or add your own two cents in the comments.

And now to the part where Sleek gets suspended:

------------------------------------
Listen, I love Canada. It's just when it comes to Battle of Ontario teams hiring head coaches and general managers, they really seem to have fallen in love with Anaheim's sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about.



Ron Wilson, Craig Hartsburg, Bryan Murray, and Brian Burke --
That pretty much spans the entirety of Anaheim's history right there.
Prediction: Last Friday the Ducks and Hawks skated to a 1-0 game in Anaheim, so I suspect Hiller might get the start tonight, but there's no real wrong answer in net right now. The Ducks do need to start scoring some goals, though, so let's say Ducks 5, Hawks 3. Goals by Getzlaf x2, S. Niedermayer, Pahlsson, and Perry.

Go Ducks.

Earl Takes a Request

Tim Sassone, Chicago Beat Writer, November 25:

Is it being a little too greedy to think the Hawks can go 6-0 on this road trip? Wednesday's game in San Jose won't be easy, but the Sharks can be beat and the Hawks almost did it last week at the United Center. The Hawks led 5-4 going to the third period then took a couple dumb penalties and wound up losing 6-5. It's on to Anaheim Friday and the Ducks aren't anywhere near as good as they were when they won the Stanley Cup. The Hawks close the trip Saturday at Los Angeles against an improved, but nothing special Kings team.

Rudy Kelly, BoC Blogger, November 29:

The Blackhawks have lost both California games (against San Jose and Anaheim) this weekend. Let's make it one more so Earl has to bust out the ol' rape graphic again.

Well, apologies for the absence this week, but with siblings in town for Turkey Day, I was away from the computer for a bit -- but I've had myself a great week. I was even in Row B for Friday's game against the Blackhawks, and had great seats to see Wild Wing trip over some carpeting thanks to his duckbill-obstructed view. It was a pretty fun afternoon and a decent 1-0 game, and it's not hard to see why Blackhawks fans are excited this year -- this looks like a top-eight roster and once a goalie gets moved there's even salary room for improvement. Still, I'm not sure they're ready to call for sweeps just yet on the west coast swing; those are rare even for the great teams since the lockout (see comment #2 in this post), and there's always plenty of legit excuses -- miles, time zones, often back-to-backs, home refereeing, and the fact that SJ is killing all visitors this year. Whatever, the dude called the BoC road trip out and crapped out hard, and will get what he deserves.

San Jose Sharks 3, Chicago Blackhawks 2 (OT)
Anaheim Ducks 1, Chicago Blackhawks 0
Los Angeles Kings 5, Chicago Blackhawks 2
Battle of California 9, Sweep-Talking Blackhawks 4


Modified from the State Rape cartoon that started it all.
Go Ducks (and sure, Kings and Sharks too when it makes for a good graphic).

Sharks Gameday: Guess Who's Back?

No, it's not Claude Lemieux. That dude's skating in the AHL, not the NHL, and despite some people speculating that this move might be made to intimidate the Detroit Red Wings (uh...I don't think Lemieux's intimidating anyone in the NHL at this point, but interesting theory), we won't be seeing him in San Jose unless he wants to buy Doug Wilson a pizza or something.

Of course, Darren McCarty just got sent to the AHL too, so they can sell some minor-league tickets promoting Avs-Wings circa 1997. That could be fun.

In the meantime, Evgeni Nabokov will return in net today against the Chicago Blackhawks. The crowd gave Nabby a good welcome-back chant on Saturday night when he was shown on the in-house camera. As well as Brian Boucher has played, I don't think anyone's unhappy about having Nabby back between the pipes. That is, except for this guy.

Chicago comes in on a hot streak and they're thinking sweep even though they're only halfway through their six-game road swing. Of course, if the Sharks play like they did last week at the United Center, they'll give the Hawks every opportunity to do so. I'd try and come up with some statistical crunch regarding this but it's a busy pre-holiday work day, so we'll have to save that for another time.

One more thing about tonight: it's the second night of the black jerseys. The victory over Washington pushed aside any bad memories of the old Black Thursday curses, but a second win tonight will put lingering doubts out to pasture.

Battle of California arena playlist #1

Nothing draws the ire of hockey fans more than the topic of music played at the arena. HP Pavilion has recently emerged from a haze of classic rock to adopt a pretty progressive playlist, but gone are the halcyon days of San Jose Arena/NHL 94 organist Dieter Ruehle, and whoever the organist was playing obscure 80's songs at the Cow Palace during the first 2 years in San Francisco.

It may be shocking to hear Motorhead's Ace Of Spades played during the pre-game warmup in San Jose (in a good way), but Philadelphia has made it a staple across the NHL. Metallica's Fuel is a regular. Nothing is going to top last year's entrance song, The Pretender by the Foo Fighters, used to great effect in the playoffs.

A quick perusal of my current mp3 playlist comes up with almost nothing suitable to accompany NHL hockey. The queue contains too many singer/songwriters, ambient or industrial track after track, and music more appropriate for an art exhibit or a coffee house insead of a hockey game. After a little searching, here are six songs that might work well while watching Marty Turco make a late third period turnover. Please suggest songs you think would work best in the comments, and I am sure audiophile Mike Chen will chime in as well.

Imperial Hip Hop - There are few songs if any that might intimidate an opposing team as they step on to the ice at HP Pavilion, but this is one of them. With the refurbished sound system at HP Pavilion that can handle heavy bass, this would be the perfect entrance song for a hockey game. Or in the case of a Sharks-Ducks matchup, a rugby match or an MMA fight. Add in the fan noise the reverberates off the ceiling and it would be impressive.

Chevelle's The Red - Simple, heavy rock that has worked well for hockey over the ages. There is a reason so many classic hockey highlight clips use the Offspring or Mettalica. It fits.

The Whip's Trash - Why is Thrashers center Jason Williams playing Basshunter's Russian Private Jet? Garbage. The Whip is a new-ish band from Manchester, UK that rips off the 80's well enough that you do not mind. Divebomb should be included on this playlist, Sister Siam is solid too. Before you bash The Whip, visit Silicon Valley and sample your target audience.

Folk Implosion's Natural One - An older song with a mesmerizing bass line. The type of song you will be asking a friend for the title after the game.

Damian Marley's Welcome to Jamrock - I first heard this song at an ABA basketball game in San Jose. Walking up to the court a handful of players were throwing down punishing dunk after punishing dunk in the pregame warmup while this was thumping in the background. I sat under the basket to take photos and it felt like they were literally trying to rip the rim off the backboard. This song is hard and it has an edge to it, even if it was performed by a Marley.

Booker T. & the M.G.'s Hip Hugger - This may only be a short sample clip of the full song, but the lack of hockey organists at several venues across the league is a crime. This is the type of obscure soul track that a hockey organist could use to put his stamp on the experience instead of piping in fake crowd noise and asking fans to raise the noise meter, and when you think of a hockey organ you have to think of Booker T and the M.G.'s.

Longtime Chicago Blackhawks organist Frank Pellico talks with the Chicago Tribune about playing at the Chicago Stadium and the United Center for almost 20 years.

[Update] This song has to be added to the NY Islanders playlist.

[Update2] Mike Chen posted another in his "Puck Rock" series with goaltender Sean Burke here. A previous post featured ESPN's John Buccigross here.

I Love the Salary Cap

Buried in Puck Daddy's live chat yesterday was this quote by David Pagnotta, in reference to where Mathieu Schneider might be heading:

Ducks and Kings have spoken about it. Just spoke to a source early today and the Ducks are trying to move him to LA before the Hawks ship Khabby there.

I hope this becomes an annual thing, where teams fight each other to make trades that make their teams worse.

Guest Post: The Kings Don't Want Your Detritus

(Alexander Dubcek is a Kings fan and a filthy commie. Here's his take on rumor mongers and the shitty trade proposals they shit out. Shit.)


Dear Rest of the NHL Universe,

Hi. You've probably forgotten about us. I can't blame you. We haven't done anything to warrant your attention in a few years, except when you pause for a moment to ponder the lottery (which we always manage to screw up one way or another).

It's easy to make a joke of hockey in L.A. (Just look at our abysmal record over the past, oh, forty-one years.) Kevin Lowe takes a potshot at the Ducks, but no one notices the Kings. We're too pathetic to be called pathetic. You can't be arsed to expend the effort to belittle us, even though Kings fans might more fairly be called "pathetic" for shelling out big bucks to turn out in droves (more than 94 percent of capacity) for the train wreck known as the Brian Willsie Experience and the Kevin Dallman Project.

Not that I'm complaining. We're a sufficiently self-hating bunch that we can bemoan and belittle our own foibles without any outside help, thank you very much.

No, the bigger problem comes on those rare occasions when folks from hockey "hotbeds" and "traditional" markets actually try to say something about us.

Plenty of rumors get bandied about in the offseason, some of which even involve the Kings. It's about the only time we register on the radar of media types outside L.A. But Canadian writers, East Coast writers and commenters all around the league don't bother to do their homework on reporting these rumors. (Is it too much to ask to check out Rich Hammond's site to check your crackpot theory?)

So we get things like the New York Post speculating Sean Avery could re-sign with the Kings with Marc Crawford canned. (Never mind that Dean Lombardi, who put Avery on "double secret probation" at the beginning of Avery's last season in L.A., is still calling the shots as GM.) Or all the wild "Malkin to L.A." rumors before the draft (a great move for a team sorely in need of defense, rather than offense).

And now, the new one making the rounds, a threesome involving Ottawa, Chicago and the Kings, a rumor in which every Ottawa hack is indulging in their wettest dreams of prying away our best players for a pu pu platter of bad contracts. Here are some of the rumors Ottawa fans keep throwing around as if they're plausible deals that would send Martin Gerber (not good enough to start on three different Stanley Cup Finals squads) and some bags of pucks to the Kings:

"But I am hearing Kopitar and a prospect is from the Kings."

"If the Kings are giving up Kopitar and a prospect they better be getting something serious in return and if they aren't lets cut Chicago out of the mix and just get Kopitar..."

""I can't see them moving Kopitar either. Frolov maybe???"

""Spezza to the Kings from the Sens. Vermette and Neil plus a pick to the Hawks. Prospect plus pick to the Kings from the Hawks. Kopitar from the Kings to the Sens. Barker and Khabibulin from Chicago.

"Ottawa gets loaded somehow. Chicago unloads salary and gets some good player value in return. Spezza's 7 mil contract helps LA get closer to the cap and also gives them a potential superstar talent in return plus they get a prospect and pick out of it too."

"To LA: G Khabibulin D Barker

To Chi: C Vermette RW Neil

To Ott: C Anze Kopitar"

"I could see...

To LA: Meszaros Vermette 1st Round Pick (Ottawa)

To Chicago Neil Gerber

To Ottawa Khabibulin Kopitar Barker"

And, well, it just goes on from there. Supposedly Ottawa's a good hockey market (being the capital of Canadia and all), but clearly good hockey market does not equal fan base with a clue.

So, please, Ottawa, Edmonton, New York, and all other parts north and east of L.A. -- if you're just going to pull these rumors out of your ass, do us a favor and keep ignoring us.

To paraphrase an old axiom: If you don't have anything intelligent to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.

***

Why do we as fans hate bad trade proposals so much? It could be that we're just offended by the sheer stupidity of them, or we're upset at the lack of respect the player on our team receives, but I don't think that quite explains it. I think I get upset because I am presented with a world where the Kings don't have that player. That's okay when it's someone like Armstrong or Preissing, but when it's someone like Johnson I get scared. I'm scared because I'm confronted with the reality that someone like Kopitar or Brown or Robitaille or Hrudey will not be a King forever, that time will pass and that someday they'll be gone. I know Kopitar won't be on the Kings forever, but I don't want to think about it for the same reason I don't think about my parents' deaths. It's legitimately terrifying to me, and I cannot help but react violently to it. Rationally, I know these trade proposals are all bullshit and they wouldn't happen in a million years, but that irrational lizard part of my brain can't help but respond. I avoid sites like HockeyBuzz not because they're retarded (and they are), but because if I read them I'd probably suffer a stroke within the week. It's easier for me to just say, "Fuck you!" than actually consider the proposal and its consequences. So, fuck you, I guess.

Ducks Gameday—Like taking candy from a Blackhawk

Anaheim Ducks (38-23-7, 3rd in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (32-28-6, t-11th in west)

The table below shows all of Anaheim's 14 western conference opponents (plus a 15th group, the eastern conference), and the Ducks' regular season record against each opponent since the NHL lockout. Essentially, this list represents which teams the Ducks have most easily taken points against, and you can see that Chicago sits way way atop this list.

(Click image to enlarge)
The Blackhawks, as I've heard time and time again, are a young improving team, so I guess someday soon I'm going to miss this era where the Ducks show up and automatically collect two points. Not too soon, I hope. Chicago has been Anaheim's best boost for offense, defense, and penalty killing.

Some other comments about this opponent table:

• Oh yeah, now I remember why I hate the Stars. The Ducks have only beaten the Stars seven times since the lockout. To put that in perspective, they have beaten five non-divisional opponents that many times over the same stretch. By my eye, the problem for the Ducks has been perpetual puck-chasing. Anaheim loves dumping in pucks and retrieving, but they don't get to do much retrieving against Dallas and crazy Turco. Oddly, I think I've been to two Stars games since the lockout and the Ducks won 'em both (including one in a shootout where Carlyle threw out Jonathan Hedstrom and Rob Niedermayer, if you can believe it).



• As for the rest of the Pacific, you guys are all right. Of Anaheim's five favorite western opponents, three sit nearby in the Pacific Division, which is particularly sweet when playing in a division-heavy schedule. I don't get the sense that this one-sidedness will last terribly long for the Ducks, though. The Sharks are bound to get their shit together at some point, and the Kings can't possibly get worse (uh, right, Rudy?). The Coyotes have already turned a corner; they've won more games against Anaheim this year than they had the previous two years combined, which really speaks to the Chicago-like stranglehold the Ducks once held over Gretzky's bunch.



• Sure, why not have more interconference games? On principle, I am against having more east-west games. Since opposite-conference teams do not compete on the same standings, I find these games to be less compelling. Sure both teams want to win and get the two points, but there isn't any urgency to keep the opponent from getting a point also. In east-west games, getting to overtime is a win-win proposition, and I don't think that's a good incentive for the league to build on. Still, I guess I can understand fans wanting to see distant players (though I generally see players better on TV than in person), and I'm not the guy who has to do the extra traveling, so sure, NHL. Have it your way. From the looks of things, the Ducks are better off playing extra games against the east (especially Ottawa, apparently) than they are against anyone in the Northwest Division.

There's about another week of "loose end" opponents before the Ducks break into full Pacific mode, and frankly, I can't wait. The storylines have been brewing since Christmas. The Ducks are supercharged with Niedermayer and Selanne, and the Sharks are hitting stride with Campbell and re-emerging forces in Cheechoo and Marleau. The Stars got past both those teams without Zubov or Boucher, and now they've added millionaire Brad Richards to a formidable roster. The Coyotes are howling for that eighth seed and some '06-style Bryzgalov postseason magic, and the Kings are flat-out determined to fuck up somebody's seed. A Pacific Division Finale seems an awesome way to end this year—selfishly, from a BoC perspective, who says the schedule needs fixing?

Prediction: My commuting life sucks this week, and I probably won't get to watch tonight's or tomorrow's game until probably Friday. Don't worry about spoiling anything; I'll be informed enough to know the score. If anyone wants to let me know their game impressions, though, I'd be glad to read 'em. Oh as for the game prediction, let's call it a tight one. After all, Chicago is a young improving team. Ducks 4, Hawks 3. Goals by Beauchemin*, Getzlaf, Pahlsson, and May. As a bonus, Bryan Murray gets ejected from the game for trethpathing.

Go Duckth.

* My latest craze is to yell, "Take THAT, Bergeron!" any time a Duck blueliner scores a goal. Or even if there's a good shot on net. It turns out I'm yelling that phrase quite a bit, actually—I've also incorporated it into my video game lingo and used it while driving in SoCal traffic.

Ducks Gameday--An important day in avian justice

Chicago Blackhawks (29-26-6, 13th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (35-23-7, 3rd in west)

Well, as part of leaving my old job I have rescinded my laptop, so for the next week or so I'll be managing on my roommate's computer. No spreadsheet stats, no power point, but it's still got good ol' MS Paint!

It may be the case, though, that I'm less restricted by my roommate's software than I am by the motivation of being unemployed for a week. This could be a very lazy week indeed.

Prediction: Hmmmm. Ducks win their avian lawsuit 5-3. Goals by Perry x2, Moen, Pahlsson, and Sutherby.

Go Ducks.

Kings Gameday: WE GOT MATT ELLIS!!!!!

LA Kings (murph) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (28-26-6, 13th in West)

1:00 PST, FSN West


The Kings claimed center Matt Ellis, 26, from the Detroit Red Wings on Thursday. Ellis has played in the AHL for the past 4 years, averaging around 50 points in the past 2. More importantly, Ellis was the captain of Detroit's AHL team for those 2 seasons. (Also, he looks like Nelson Emerson.) He played 35 games in Detroit this season, tallying 6 points. Detroit wanted to send him down to the AHL to help with their playoff push, but the Kings swiped him first. Some people are baffled by the move, wondering why Dean Lombardi bothered picking up a guy who has no real business playing in the NHL when the Kings already lead the league in guys that fill that description. I think Dean made this move for 2 reasons:

It looks like the puck is going 10 feet behind him...

1) Fill the roster. Last year when the Kings traded away Sean Avery, they took Jason Ward back. This was done to prevent the Kings from having to call up a younger guy who might not be ready to play in the NHL. As a result, the Kings were forced to accept slightly less from New York. Maybe they could have gotten a 4th round pick if they had not needed Jason Ward. With Ellis on the roster, the Kings won't have this problem.

2) AHL Leadership. The Kings probably can't send Ellis down to the AHL this season; most likely, Detroit will snap him up and then send him down to Grand Rapids. However, they can keep Ellis up on the roster, give him a few games here and there, and then send him down for next season. The roster in Manchester is incredibly young and will only get younger next season. The Kings can now provide them will a moderately skilled leader that will help them get ready for the NHL. This is what teams in last place should be doing: using their roster to set up their franchise in the future. It's not tanking, it's... "looking beyond this season." Okay, it's still kind of tanking, but I like the spin I put on it.

***

They're not letting O'Sullivan in on the joke.

Marc Crawford said yesterday that the Cammy-O'Sullivan-Frolov line will be staying together for today's game. I think it was a good move by Crawford to put those 3 together, but does he have to immediately give me a hernia by putting Scott Thornton and then Brian Willsie with Brown and Kopitar? Just give Ted Purcell one shot, please. I swear it'll work.

And benching Kyle Calder? What the hell? He hasn't played great offensively this season, but without him we have no one else to stand in front of the net for Frolov's power play unit. He does a good job fore-checking, allowing Handzus to stay with the more explosive forwards on the opposing team. Benching Kyle Calder while Jeff Giuliano, Scott Thornton, and Brian Willsie play is like.... it's like treating testicular cancer by cutting off your foot. Sometimes, I just don't know. You know what, I bet Calder plays with Kopitar now. That'd be just great.

Prediction: Commit to the Indian, my ass. Kings win, 8-3. Not quite as good as the last time they played, but pretty close. Goals by Brown (x2), Cammalleri (x2), Kopitar (x2), Stuart, and Matt Ellis.

Sharks-Blackhawks photos

Here are a few photos from the Sharks 3-2 OT shootout win over the Chicago Blackhawks on Saturday. More here.

Ducks Gameday—A typical Friday effort

Chicago Blackhawks (19-17-3, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (20-17-5, t-7th in west)

Sorry guys, it's Friday and I got home later than Rudy did last night. I got nothing.

I guess the only thing I'll note is that with Pahlsson on the shelf and Selanne on retirement row, the only European left on the roster is Swiss-born backup goalie Jonas Hiller. That means that in three of the last four games, the Ducks have featured Don Cherry's wet dream—all positions on the ice for an entire sixty-minute game were played by North Americans. I can't even think of one other NHL squad that is close to that.

In the spirit of multi-nationalism, then, here's a story about how influential Lauren Pronger is (I think).

Prediction: Ducks 3, Hawks 1. The Blackhawks are short rookie phenom Jonathan Toews and played and lost in Phoenix last night; seems way too ripe for an easy win. Still, the Ducks don't do easy wins this year—this will probably be a nail biter. I didn't get to watch the Kings beat up on the Hawks earlier this week, but as I told my kid brother, "I can see the Kings scoring 9 goals in a game more than I can see it from the Ducks." Goals by Pahlsson, Ryan, and Perry.

Go Ducks.

Kings Gameday: Let's Talk Lines

Los Angeles Kings (12-16-2, Last in West) @ Chicago Blackhawks (14-13-2, 12th in West)

5:30 PST, FSN West

I love messing with lines. When I’m bored in class or at a funeral I’ll usually tinker with the Kings’ line-ups from the past, trying to figure out if Vitali Yachmenev’s career could have been saved if only he had played with Kai Nurminen for just a little while longer. (God were we terrible in the late-90s.) With Frolov possibly coming back tonight, I thought it would be a good time to take a look at the options Crawford has going into the game.

***

That's the best line: Kopitar by himself.

The first forward line, in my opinion, should be Brown-Kopitar-O’Sullivan. I’m pretty sure Cammalleri is still working through the groin injury he had a while ago, and besides, I really liked Irish’s hustle when he played with Kopitar. Keep Cammy on the power play, since he’s still effective there, but move him down to play with Frolov. Joining Cammy and Frolov should be Nagy. I know, you’re wondering, “But Rudy, who will play center? Also, I bet your penis is huge!” First of all, thank you, it is. Second of all, I figure just throw Cammy out there on face-offs and then let them figure it out. Cammy takes face-offs for Kopitar sometimes anyway, so I think he could handle it. If Nagy’s still hurt, throw some schmuck like Willsie out there and hope Cammy hits him in the face with a puck.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to do the face-off?" "I thought you were..."

The third line would be constructed with the idea of being a stopper line, since Handzus has been kicking ass at it lately. (He completely shut down the Sedin twins last game, it was awesome.) I’d put him with Calder and Giuliano, who I hate but isn’t that bad if you just forbid him from actually skating with the puck. It doesn’t give Calder that much of an avenue to score, but I think this is the spot that’s best for him right now. The fourth line could be the “Rudy Kelly Memorial All-Stars” and be comprised of Thornton/Ivanans, Armstrong, and Willsie/Zeiler. (Jesus, no wonder this team is sinking with all this dead weight).

Of course, this whole thing could be easier if we called up Teddy Purcell. (I can’t remember another Teddy since Roosevelt, does anyone else? I think it’s pretty cool.) He could play with Kopitar, allowing O’Sullivan to move down and play with Handzus. That third line ain’t nothing to fuck with. Oh well, I guess Crawford needs his unskilled guys.

The defense is pretty good right now, I’d say. Crawford finally moved Lubo back to the right side and put him with Stuart, and I think that’s the right call. Lubo needs a guy like Stuart who is guaranteed to stay back; sometimes, I think him and Blake got confused about who was supposed to be jumping in and it led to odd-numbered attacks for the other team. Meanwhile, Bowlby has been put with Jack Johnson, and I think both have stepped up their physical game because of it. The third line is the traditional hockey fan’s favorite duo, Tom Preissing and Jaroslav Modry. The Kings used them effectively in the last game, though, putting Modry on the penalty kill with Blake and putting Preissing on the power play with Stuart. Stuart and Blake play both special teams while Johnson and Lubo play more 5-on-5, allowing them to make use of their ability to jump in. All in all, good stuff. Nice work, Crawford.

Drunk Fan (okay, me): "Fuck his mouth, Blake! FUCK HIS MOUTH!!!"

I don’t know, I still can’t bring myself to get too worked up about where we are. We’ve been playing pretty well recently without our top scorer and our #1 goaltender; once those two get back, I think the Kings are going to kick a lot of ass. Except for Phoenix, we’ll probably still get stomped by them.

Chicago, meanwhile, is starting to falter after being one of the surprise stories of the early season. They’re just a little too old on defense and a little too young on offense to keep it together over a full season, methinks. Besides, they have this guy as one of their superstars:

Do you think he wears special shoulder pads to protect his supple breasts?

I’m sorry, but there’s no way he’s a real hockey player. He’s more likely to be date raped than to win any battles in the corner. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of Mulan thing going on. You know what he looks like? He looks like a girl Dustin Brown would drunkenly fuck and then never call again when he realized what he'd done. That’s not what you want your best player to look like. (In my experience they should look like a raccoon.)

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Goals by Kopitar, Willsie, Preissing and Brown, who gets angrily confronted by Kane after the game; the two will end up sleeping together again tonight. (Now that’s a prediction!)

Update: Okay, everyone needs to go to the Kings website and watch their all-star video, if only to see Lubo say the only two words he knows in English: "Vote" and "Cookie."

Ducks Gameday—Blackhawks inspire new local artist

Anaheim Ducks (13-12-4, t-8th in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (14-11-2, t-8th in west)

In BoC comment-land, you know him as spade-in-victorhell. You know, the guy who can't be bothered with capitalization, punctuation or spelling, but somehow gets his message across loud and clear. Little known fact about Spade, though--this cat can cartoon!

Check out this submission, a web-foot kicking through a Blackhawk stomach! Ouch! That guy needs some fire water, pronto!

I don't want to get all mushy, but this is a very awesome development; obviously I'm a big proponent of zany cartoons, and I'd been wondering if the Sleek legacy would start rubbing off on the blogosphere. I'll warn you now--Spade's already got some fantastic cartoons to carry me through the weekend, and being a particularly lazy guy, I couldn't be happier.

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Like it or not, Niedermayer's announcement Wednesday means that one Duck player is starting his last road trip of his Anaheim career. Interesting how the players responded to this Niedervelopment in the Buffalo game right after the announcement:

Andy McDonald -- 1 goal, 1 assist
Matthieu Schneider -- 1 goal, 1 assist
Francois Beauchemin -- 1 assist
Todd Bertuzzi -- 1 goal, 1 fight, on the ice for all four Anaheim goals

Todd Marchant and Sean O'Donnell both had solid games as well, and in fact, it was really the first time I've seen this year's Ducks really resemble last year's. It's amazing how good a team can play when guys are playing for their jobs.

Then again, the hard-luck Kings went on to smoke the Sabres 8-2 the next night, so maybe it was just a Buffallusion.


Your turn, Sharks.
As for tonight's opponent, one thing that worries me about the Blackhawks is how they have turned the tables on Detroit, a team that's murdered them in the past. The young Blackhawks are 4-0-0 against the Red Wings this year, after going 2-13-1 against them the previous two seasons.

I'm no Detroit fan, so why does that stat scare me? Well, since the lockout only one western team has dominated Chicago more than Detroit--Anaheim, of course. The Ducks have gone 7-0-1 against Chicago over the last two years. If the Blackhawks really have turned a corner, maybe this source of easy standings points is running dry, too.

Too bad they have to run into a Ducks team trying to play their way off the trading block.

Prediction: Ducks 6, Blackhawks 3. Everyone tries to keep their jobs--goals scored by Marchant, McDonald, O'Donnell, Beauchemin, Bertuzzi, and Schneider. Pahlsson kicks his way out of the Blackhawk stomach with six assists.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Are you sure you want to simulate the rest of the season?

Anaheim Ducks (44-20-12, 3rd in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (27-39-9, t-14th in west)

Well, yesterday’s results certainly could have been better. Vancouver, Dallas, and San Jose all gained 2 points on the Ducks, and somehow the Wild managed 1 point without even scoring a goal. Again, Anaheim finds itself with all four of these teams sitting within 2 points of its precious 2nd-seed, and plays the only game in the west today to try to pad that cushion.

A quick glance at Anaheim’s remaining schedule shows that even though 5 of the last 6 games are on the road, 4 of those road games are against golf-buddies Chicago, Columbus x2, and St. Louis (plus one extra home game vs. the Sharks and one extra road game vs. the Stars). Sounds like a manageable season-end, right? Beat the bottom-feeders from the Central, and maybe split the matches against the playoff-bound Pacific, right?

But the Ducks, for about as long as I have followed them, have a weird pattern of playing well against better teams and then pissing away points against more beatable opposition (Phoenix excluded). For example, here’s how they’ve fared this year against the remaining competition:

vs. CBJ/CHI/STL: 4-2-2, .625 W%, 3.4 GF, 3.0 GA
vs. DAL/SJS: 9-4-1, .679 W%, 3.4 GF, 2.1 GA

Compare this to how the other 7 western playoff teams have performed:

vs. CBJ/CHI/STL: 68-20-10, .745 W%, 3.2 GF, 2.1 GA
vs. DAL/SJS: 25-23-4, .519 W%, 2.2 GF, 2.4 GA

The lesson? The Ducks have had an easier time beating the Sharks and Stars this season than the Blackhawks, Blue Jackets, and Blues, and if they intend on starting the playoffs at home, they had better get serious about reminding the latter set of teams why they are not going to be playing mid-April (hint: they’re beatable).

If there’s any bright side, though (as I noted in an email to PJ yesterday), the more the Ducks lose and the more the Sharks win, the bigger the April 4th game in Anaheim is going to be.

Prediction: Ducks 5, Hawks 2. Goals by Pahlsson (only 1 goal so far in 2007), Thornton (1 goal in 2007), Marchant (0 goals in 2007), May (0 goals in 2007, his last assist came against Anaheim), and Parros (0 goals in 2007, has not scored an NHL point since Jan. 21, 2006—431 days and counting).

[13:18 3rd Period--PARROS 1 (MAY, DIPENTA)

May gets an assist FOR Anaheim, and for Parros that's 431 days and OVER!]

Kings Gameday: No TV Makes Rudy... Something Something

Los Angeles Kings (25-35-14, 13th in West) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (27-37-9, 14th in West)

5:30 PST, 1150 KTLK

The Kings are playing the Blackhawks tonight, but the game is not going to be on television. I don't mean that it's not going to be on FSN West or Prime Ticket; I don't think the game is on television at all. What is this, the 1880s? I'm not old enough to remember a time where it was impossible to get certain games on television, so this is mind-blowing to me. I mean, do they have cameras in the building at all? Damn you, Bill Wirtz!

It's not all bad, though. Nick Nickson (the Kings' radio play-by-play man for a number of years) is sick, so Bob Miller is going to be doing the game tonight on radio for the first time since the '80s. Bob is one of those guys I'd listen to broadcast anything (well, not women's basketball), so it should be fun listening to him in a different medium. Plus, Kopitar is back, which is awesome. (Is it weird that my mood is affected in large part by the fortunes of a 19 year-old kid from Slovenia? It is? I thought so.)

I'm excited about this game tonight. I mean, yeah, it's radio, and this game is probably the most unimportant game ever played in the history of the NHL, but it's still Kings hockey. Go Kings go.

Prediction: This game won't make the highlights on SportsCenter. There's Arena Football to show, people!

Ducks Gameday—Sloppy Seconds in SoCal

Chicago Blackhawks (27-34-9, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (42-17-12, 3rd in west)

The last Ducks/Kings meeting of the season is this weekend, but before we get into the actual head-to-head, I thought I’d take a look at how these geographical buddies have done when it comes to handling mutual visitors, such as is the case currently with the Chicago Blackhawks (last night at Staples, tonight at Honda).

For simplicity’s sake (on my end), I am only looking at instances where a visiting team played in one of our buildings and then played in the other building within the next two days. Since the lockout, there have been 35 instances of this (including tonight), that break down as follows:

• 13 times a team played one night at Staples and the next night at Honda Center.
• 7 times a team played one night at Staples and then at Honda Center 2 nights later.
• 10 times a team played one night at Honda and the next night at Staples Center.
• 5 times a team played one night at Honda and then at Staples Center 2 nights later.

So essentially, that’s 20 times a team has faced the Kings first, and 15 times a team has faced the (Mighty) Ducks first. Now Kings fans, before you get in a tizzy about how unfair this is, let’s take a gander at how the SoCal teams have responded to these schedule quirks:

When visitors go to Staples Center first:
Kings record on the first game: 13-4-3, outscoring opponents 3.05 – 2.68.
Ducks record on the second game: 14-1-4, outscoring opponents 3.78 – 2.56.

Combined: 27-5-7, outscoring opponents 3.41 – 2.62

When visitors go to Honda Center first:
Ducks record on the first game: 8-6-1, outscoring opponents 3.73 – 3.60.
Kings record on the second game: 7-8-0, outscored 2.67 – 2.93.

Combined: 15-14-1, outscored 3.20 – 3.26.

So, going by the surface data, it appears that actually both teams are better off with the L.A.-before-Anaheim scenario. Possible explanations?

• Team strengths—Ducks may be better-equipped to take advantage of road weariness, given their team speed and hard-hitting attitude. They are better off when the Kings “soften up” their opponents, and are generally more capable of capitalizing on a tired team.
  
• Dumb luck—it may be just happenstance that teams that are more beatable get more often put into the L.A.-first situation. Proper analysis would account for this, but being Friday, I’m pretty lazy, so just using the “glance-over” technique, I’ll postulate that this is not the case. The quality of teams in each scenario seem fairly equivalent.
  
• Psychology—maybe, given the comparative status of the two host teams, teams aren’t handling the play-the-Kings-first situation very well. They may be “looking ahead to the Ducks” on that first night, and by the time they get to that second game, they are regretting their crummy result from the night (or two nights) before.

Well, whatever explanation seems to fit, at least the results seem to indicate that the Blackhawks are in trouble tonight. Given the fact that Pacific-division chasers are both on a roll (Dallas is 4-0 in its last 4, while the Sharks are 5-0-1 in their last 6), let’s hope the pattern holds true.

Let's get lucky, Ducks!
Prediction: Ducks 6, Blackhawks 2. Goals by Selanne x2, Penner x2, Pahlsson, and Scotty.

Kings Gameday: Free Garon

Los Angeles Kings (I refuse to look) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (26-34-9, 13th in West)

7:30 PST, FSN West

Mathieu Garon has not had an easy life. For one, he’s pretty much bald at age 27, which sucks. For two, he’s never really been given a fair shot to claim a #1 goaltending job in the NHL. He came up through the Canadiens farm system but was blocked by the good Jose Theodore (not to be confused with whoever that is playing in Colorado). When the Kings traded for him (giving up Radek Bonk and Cristobal Huet, neither of whom I think have done anything since), many thought that he would flourish and give the Kings a steady goaltender for the first time since the Dread Pirate Hrudey. For one reason or another, that just hasn’t happened.

At the beginning of last year, Garon started off great; he posted a GAA of 2.4 and a save percentage of .924 in the month of December, earning defensive player of the month honors. He tapered off pretty badly towards the end of the season (his numbers after the all-star break: 3.56 GAA and .877 SV %), but I think that was more due to the disgracefulness of the Kings’ defense and the fact that Garon played 63 games after only playing 19 the year before than the fact that he sucked. Still, the casual observer would obviously point to him as the reason for the Kings’ struggles. More importantly, I think, it left new GM Dean Lombardi with no choice but to try and upgrade the goaltending. It would have looked bad for him to come in and say that last year’s goaltending duo was satisfactory when the Kings had so much trouble keeping the puck out of the net.

Garon started this year backing up Dan Cloutier, despite the fact that Garon is a better goaltender in every facet of the game. (I guess Cloutier is probably a better fighter, for what it’s worth.) Cloutier played badly (that’s being kind) and Garon had his chance to claim the Kings’ starting job and give Lombardi a reason to sign him to a deal at the end of the year. He promptly broke his finger in January.

The Kings brought in Sean Burke during the Barry Brust/Yutaka Fukufuji debacle to give the Kings some type of stability in net. He played pretty well in January and February, but has since played like a guy who’s 40 years old. Garon is better than Burke, just like he was better than Cloutier; the problem is that you can’t ask him to prove it. Garon will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of this season and it’s unlikely the Kings will sign him. For some reason, it just hasn’t come together here in L.A for Mathieu Garon. What I worry about is that it’s going to come together somewhere else.

I hope Garon’s playing tonight against the Blackhawks, but I can understand if he’s not. I can already see Garon, in an interview with The Hockey News this time next year, discussing how great it is to be playing good hockey again after all the injuries with the Kings the two previous years. That’ll be the same day that Jason LaBarbera pulls a Shaun Livingston on both knees and when I’ll be sentenced for Dan Cloutier’s murder. (After this report in today’s L.A. Times, I don’t think there’s a jury in the world who wouldn’t consider it justifiable homicide.)

P.S. Oh right, the Blackhawks… umm, they suck?

P.P.S. There’s an article here at Hockey’s Future about the Kings’ top 20 prospects that will make you feel better. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a couple of these guys (Jack Johnson, Brian Boyle, Richard Petiot, Scott Parse, or Peter Kanko) making some noise and possibly the team out of training camp.

Kings Gameday: That'll Stop the Winning

Los Angeles Kings (22-33-10, 15th in West) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (24-33-9, 14th in West)

FSN West, 5:30 PM

The Kings are going into an important week, with games against Central powerhouses Chicago and Columbus. The Kings trail Chicago by 3 points for last in the Western Conference and have been playing good hockey of late (last games' ineptitude on the penalty kill aside). Obviously, this is a terrible development and must be stopped. The only motivation I have to withstand this season is to think ahead to the NHL Draft, when the Kings should have a high pick. If they keep winning, they’re going to take that away from me, and I wont’ stand for that. This would make sense, though, given the Kings’ history. The previous two seasons saw the Kings needing to win to get into the playoffs, but they instead went on horrific losing streaks. This year, when they need to lose, they start winning. It really can make you laugh. No wait, not laugh, sob uncontrollably. They shouldn’t have to worry about winning today, though, with Kopitar out with the same upper body muscle strain (he’s expected to miss the entire upcoming 4-game road trip) and with no word on whether Lubomir Visnovsky will play. But don’t worry, Chicago fans, you’ll still get to see Jamie Heward! Wait, this is Chicago, they don’t have fans.

Chicago is actually not as bad as their record suggests. They have Martin Havlat, and Nikolai Khabibulin, and… nevermind, they’re terrible. Seriously, how sad is it that this is what the Blackhawks have been reduced to? I don’t even know enough about them to make fun of them. Damn you, Bill Wirtz. I’d also like to point out that more people in L.A. are going to be able to watch the game than people in Chicago thanks to Wirtz, because he thinks that not letting people watch games on TV will inspire them to go in person. Other items on Bill Wirtz’ list of good ideas: bigger nets, white people dancing, and alchemy.

Prediction: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that someone will fall down.

Exclusive BOC Sharks-Blackhawks photos from the Blogfather

I spent most of the Sharks-Chicago game up near the rafters chatting with Lew Shapiro, PR director for the NHL's Oakland/California Seals (1967-76), and the PHL San Francisco Shamrocks (1977-79). It was interesting talking to him about the media coverage back in the day, the opening of the Oakland Coliseum, and a few other hockey related topics.

I wandered down to the top of the aisle in the lower bowl in the second period to take a few photos. After the above Chicago goal by Martin Havlat over a sprawled Vesa Toskala, one fan in a soccer jersey let out a gooooo-ooo-oooaaa-ooooaaal that would have made Andres Cantor proud.



Patrick Marleau answered with a goal of his own a few minutes later. Marleau wristed the puck around Khabibulin before he could reset after a scramble. This time soccer fan stumbled, barely getting out a gaa ol-ol. The section had a good laugh.



There was a massive collision between Mark Bell and a player who is not on my score sheet, #89 Troy Brouwer.



After the game, Vesa Toskala said he could not remember ever scoring 2 assists in a game before. It was 1 point shy of an NHL single game record, and half of the total for current NHL goalie points leader (Turco). When someone jiibed him about Evgeni Nabokov's power play goal a few years back, he said he picked one up in Europe so he was fine. Toskala had an open net late in the third, but he cleared the puck off the boards instead of trying to loft a shot up ice. Given the way the bounces have gone the last few games, smart move. More on the Sharks-Blackhawks here.

Sharks play Anaheim at HP Pavilion in beautiful San Jose on Tuesday, before heading to Anaheim on Wednesday to play in the smog. Let the Battle of California begin!



This might be a good look if I attend Wednesday's game in Anaheim.

Sleek's Poetry Corner, Part 2

Also: Chicago Blackhawks (6-9-2, 12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (13-2-4, 1st in west)

It's not as good as my Ode to Beauchemin, but it was about time I expressed my man-love to Sammy, consistently Anaheim's best forward and quite easily my favorite player in the NHL.

ODE TO PAHLSSON

S ome fans like scorers, some fans like squee,
A s for Earl? He’s a sucka for ol’ Sammy P.
M aster of Defense, Penalty Killer, and Pest,
U nrelenting, Hard-working, Sammy’s the best!
E very night he faces another top line,
L eading Duck forwards in average ice time.

P uck-pressuring forecheck gives Ducks a lift,
A gain and again, I say, “Jeez, whatta shift!”
H e’s killing this year, with Moen and R. Nieds,
L ike he did playing with the gold-winning Swedes.
S elke may have been a good checking forward,
S crew him, though! It should be the Pahlsson Award!
O h Sammy, if you’re reading, one thing I must say,
N ever ever leave Anaheim. This God I pray.



Prediction: 4-3 Ducks. Pahlsson scores 'em all.