The Verdict on the Kings' 3rd Jersey

Who has his arms raised and loves scoring goals? This guy.

-Drew, check out Stastny's face.
-What... oh my God.

Gotta admit, it looks pretty sharp. I hate the crest but the jerseys look pretty amazing while the action is going on. My favorite part are the socks, to be honest. If they put the crown from the regular jerseys on the front, I could see these jerseys becoming full-time. What do you guys think?

***Damn, no hand in this one either.

-John Zeiler should be shot into the Sun.

-Jarret Stoll should have about 30 goals by now.

-Drew Doughty played 29 minutes last night.

-When is Kopitar going to create a goal for himself?

Men In Black

Perhaps caving to the general dislike of the new-look jerseys (seriously, is there anyone who actually thinks they're an upgrade over the previous ones?), the San Jose Sharks have leaked their third-jersey. And the jersey, well, it looks a hell of a lot like the old black third jersey with an updated logo. Check it out over at Icethetics.

Which I'm totally ok with. I bought a road teal because I wanted a Roenick one but I would have stuck with the previous jersey set had I not wanted a specific player. This one looks a little better, though the stupid thing is that the lack of any real design change from the old black jersey shows what a money grab this whole thing is.

But we're good little NHL fans that keep finding ways to help the league push that salary cap up and up, so I think most of us take these occasional jersey redesigns. At least it's not like the Anaheim fans who got a redesign the year before the RBK jerseys came out. That's a double-dip of crap.

Off topic, last night's MVPP was Joe Thornton with MVPP assists going to Devin Setoguchi and Dan Boyle. 

This Concerns Me

(Said in my best Tim Gunn voice)

Many goals. Not so many games. That's not good.

While I still feel like there are a number of things to feel really good about with the Sharks, some of the more significant problems are coming to the forefront. Only one of them is a carryover from the Ron Wilson Sharks (which is kinda strange when you think about it considering the makeup of the team); fortunately, they're all kinks that can be worked on if both the coaches and the players are smart about it.

1) Penalty kill: Get the puck out of the zone. Please. Sweet jebus. Didn't we see this enough from Ron's Sharks, especially in the playoffs? Maybe Todd McLellan needs to have an entire practice session focused on effectively clearing the puck using the glass rather than dumping it right to the freakin' point man.

2) Odd-man breakdowns: Ok, I get that we're all trigger happy now with this active defense system. That's good stuff, but please, people, how about we take it one step at a time rather than have every blueliner on the team suddenly think they're Bobby Orr. I'm not sure if it's just bad luck (blocked shots kicking out for odd-man breakdowns), if the responsible forward isn't paying attention when a defenseman pinches in, or if the D aren't properly communicating out there. In any case, Nabby facing two-on-ones all the time isn't a good game plan.

3) Joe Thornton: Joe's "lower-body injury" from the preseason is a groin issue but we don't know how bad it might be -- or how much it's affecting his game. I'm guessing that having him play differently from his "Joe commands the half-boards" position takes some getting used to but I'm also guessing he doesn't have full strength in his legs to protect the puck like he can. If he's hurting, I'd sit him out in at least one of the two Florida (the state, not the team) games. You don't want those lingering groin injuries to carry forward into the season.

(Turning back on the Tim Gunn voice) Make it work, people!

On a different note, I got a sneak peak at what the scrapped BlackArmor (TM) third-jersey ideas are. They're posted over here at my Kukla blog.

LA Third Jersey News

New information is leaking about the Kings' new jersey for the upcoming season, thanks to Howard Berger of HockeyBuzz. Here's his description of what the jersey will look like:


LOS ANGELES: The Kings will unveil a predominantly black jersey with the letters “L A” inside a pencil-point logo on the front. Broad white stripes will adorn each arm. A thin white stripe will run horizontally on each side of the jersey, just beneath the shoulder. There are no stripes at the bottom of the uniform. The color purple – widely evident in the Kings’ primary jersey – will likely be featured in the number outlines of the alternate, though the photo copy I have doesn’t clearly show it. A better idea would have been a reprise of the Kings’ original purple and gold uniforms from 1967, but the club marketers are apparently not bent on tradition.


Now, can someone tell me what a "pencil-point logo" is? I have no idea. Also, I'm a little worried it'll look like a roller hockey jersey, what with the broad white stripes down the arms and nothing at the bottom of the jersey and all that. One bonus? No purple. I don't know about you, but I hate the purple addition to the black and white. Why purple and not gold? It bothers the shit out of me.

This jersey sounds like it'll be a compromise between the Kings' current jerseys and their Chevy logo days from the '90s. I'm all for any jersey that reps LA, so I'll give this jersey a tentative thumbs up for now.

Update: Reader Andrew points out that the description reminds one of the Galaxy logo:

I Wear Black On The Outside...

...Because black is how I feel on the inside.

(Bonus points if you know where that quote is from.)

Word from the Icethetics blog (formerly Tournament of Logos) is that a little more than half the league will have 3rd jerseys next season, and the Sharks will be one of them. Apparently, they're going to the "If it ain't broke..." way of thinking (which they should have done when they had awesome jerseys) and are going black, all black.

This is good for me because I hate the white jerseys and I have a dark Roenick one. Since I'm a Dan Boyle fan from his Tampa Bay days and I didn't want to have two teal jerseys, this is the perfect opportunity.

However, this takes me back to when the original Sharks 3rd jersey was released. I remember back then thinking that it looked like a practice jersey except that someone had stapled some V-shaped patches on the side. Technically, I still think it looks like that, but they grew on me, especially now that I still haven't accepted the new Sharks design. In fact, you know what would be fantastic? If they just took the OLD Sharks 3rd jersey and made that the NEW 3rd jersey -- alternate, retro, and just plain better than the ones now.

Either way, I'm getting a Boyle 22. And did you know that if you love #4, you have your choice of McLaren or Blake right now?

Ducks Gameday—A game without logos

Round One, Game Four: (4) Anaheim Ducks at (5) Dallas Stars
(DAL leads series 2-1, JavaGeek ‘odds’: DAL 72%)

I created this material for a Dallas gameday post earlier this year, and I apologize to hardcore readers for the recycling, but I've been a busy guy this week. I'll set the gag up by first showing the Stars' road and home jersey:

Notice what's missing from the Home jerseyNow the gag:

As for the game tonight, I think the easy thing to do would be to smile and declare “The Ducks are back! All our problems are over!”, but I’m far from convinced, really. I mean, it’s great that the Ducks scored the first (second, third, and fourth) goal of the game for a change, but it’s not like they showed me that they’ve fixed what’s went wrong in the first two games; I’m still very worried about what happens the next time Dallas takes a lead, or even what happens when Turco doesn’t allow four goals on the first eight shots. In terms of Ducks "character", I found the game not very revealing at all. Just a good result stemming from a blowout start.

The Ducks got outshot in game three 33-15 (14-3 in the third period), but I won’t complain about that like I did before; I fully expect a team up 4-0 early in the second period to “shut it down” a bit and rest its scorers for back-to-back games 4 & 5. Still, it is worth pointing out that in this series, shots are 100-60 for Dallas, which is a greater shot deficit than the Ducks had in their entire 2003 series against the #1 seeded Stars (208-176, outshot by 32 shots).

One thing I'm glad about, ironically, is that game three didn't end in a shutout. It's very critical that the Ducks take tonight's game just as serious as they took the last one, and a blowout dominant win can sometimes be the worst thing for a team in a seven-game series. (Last year, Detroit blew out the Ducks 5-0 in game three, then never won again.) The Ducks cannot afford to get overconfident in some "we're back, and things are OK" mentality, especially against the Stars. Hopefully Morrow's two PP goals will help send home the message to the Ducks: be ready and be careful.

Oh wait, what am I worried about? Spade has fixed the penalty kill.

Prediction: I don’t know if we should take very much comfort out of this fact, but Anaheim is 10-1 in its last 11 game fours (dating back to 2003). Still, three other western series are tied 2 games apiece; let's make it four. Ducks 3, Stars 1. Goals by May, Pahlsson, and Perry.

p.s. Found out yesterday that I'll be back in row B for G5. More on that tomorrow.

Go Ducks.

Random Impromptu Liveblog: Kings @ Sharks

10:13 PM: Never mind. Another shootout loss. Well, that's it for me and my impromptu liveblog. So far this new Roenick jersey isn't that lucky. Hopefully I got out all the bad mojo before I wear it at a game.

10:12 PM: God damn it, I hate the shootout when the Sharks are in it. It's fun every other time to watch. Thank you Little Joe for tying it up.

10:11 PM: Nabby's stupid poke check move only works like 1% of the time. Sure, it looks cool when it does, but it still never works. No fivehole for Michalek.

10:09 PM: JR channels the power of my jersey and SCORES! And he didn't even do the beanpot move he and Tony Amonte always did.

10:08 PM: Oh man, Randy and Drew are referencing the Seinfeld episode when George Costanza decided to do everything Bizarro and he started getting things his way. That's why I love these guys.

10:06 PM: My shooters if I'm Ron Wilson -- throw everyone off and go with Roenick, Ozolinsh, and Mitchell.

10:04 PM: I get the sense that Torrey Mitchell can't quite control himself at top speed. He always looks like he's about to just fly off in a random direction or pull off the sweetest move off all time. As Yoda once said, control, control, you must learn control!

10:03 PM: Sandis Ozolinsh, master forechecker.

10:01 PM: Hey, Wilson's listening to me, pairing Marleau and Michalek together.

9:59 PM: Drew Remenda's talking about electrolytes in Gatorade. If you ever want a really funny take on that, rent a movie called Idiocracy by Mike Judge.

9:57 PM: Doh. Stupid overtime. Please oh please, no shootout.

9:55 PM: If I'm Wilson, I let Marleau and Thornton skate together for the last minute.

9:51 PM: For you LA fans, Drew Remenda REALLY likes the nickname Anze Kopi-STAR.

9:49 PM: Another power play. Let's bring it home, boys. Seriously. No more shootouts. Please.

9:48 PM: Stupid Marleau and his stupid deke move that never works. Try something different, Patty!

9:46 PM: In my beginner hockey class way back when, they taught us to only have one forechecker in during a shorthanded situation. But I'm guessing that Mike Grier and Joe Thornton are a little better than the guys in that class.

9:43 PM: Is "plethora of stupid penalties" synonymous with "mental toughness"?

9:41 PM: I can't believe I'm saying this but...good tough 5 on 3 kill by Christian Ehrhoff.

9:40 PM: 5 on 3. This isn't good.

9:38 PM: Bad penalty by Craig Rivet. Selfish, stupid, undisciplined. That's it, he's off the Fellowship of the Leadership Council.

9:35 PM: Tim Hunter is waving his arms behind the bench. He's probably saying, "Jesus, JR, don't you know Mike bought your jersey and is wearing it as he liveblogs? Give him a point!"

9:33 PM: A Quiet Riot/hockey story to share. When I went to Toronto with my buddies, we sat behind some angry old Leaf fans at the ACC. I was saying something about the game when the old dude turned to me and said, "What do YOU know about hockey? Try putting on some skates before you say anything." To which I said, "Actually, I DO play hockey," and promptly got the guy to shut up. A few minutes later, Quiet Riot came over the PA and my buddy said in his loudest voice possible, "Mike, what do YOU know about Quiet Riot?" I still chuckle about that to this day.

9:32 PM: They're playing Quiet Riot on the PA. Do you think they had a moment of silence for the lead singer who died?

9:30 PM: Forward Rob Davison goes offside. His excuse? "I'm just doing what Nils Ekman told me to do."

9:28 PM: YES! Finally woke up -- and Cheechoo and Marleau are actually on the ice for a goal. Too bad they don't get help for their +/- rating, but whatever. Ever notice how Craig Rivet always looks sad even when he scores?

9:26 PM: Big Johnson hits the box. Time to score.

9:25 PM: God damn it Cheech. Keep going, boys.

9:23 PM: Penalty to ex-Shark Brad Stuart. Here's the chance. Sidenote -- one of my buddies used to sit next to an obsessed Brad Stuart fan who painted her nails "7BRAD STUART". She was known as the "Brad Stuart Ho".

9:22 PM: 3rd Period, here we go...

9:21 PM: I'm really sick of the term "mental toughness." Probably because the Sharks don't seem to have any.

9:17 PM: How I'm changing the mojo: I realize that I was wearing a sweater UNDER my JR jersey. That's a no-no. Now it's just a t-shirt and the Roenick jersey. I've also scooted my laptop over to a different position and got a soda.

9:14 PM: Right now, I'd try a few shifts of Thornton/Seto/JR and Marleau/Michalek/Pavelski. When Marleau and Michalek get their legs pumping, they're at their best, and Pavelski's much more savvy than I usually give him credit for.

9:10 PM: NHLPA head honcho Paul Kelly's being interviewed: "I think we owe it to the fans to work out problems as professionally as possible." Professionally = negotiation, communication, partnership, compromise, NOT name calling and finger pointing.

9:05 PM: Intermission -- time to check on the sick wife. Be right back.

9:04 PM: I think Patrick Marleau's like one of those video game characters where you only have so many points to distribute in his attributes. You increase his faceoffs and his offensive attributes decrease.

9:02 PM: God freakin' damn it. Am I psychic or do the Sharks just fall into bad patterns?

8:59 PM: FYI, right after the game, I'm going to watch Project Runway on Tivo. I love that show -- and I bet those contestants could design a better jersey than the Sharks designers.

8:58 PM: Come on Patty, do something besides turn it over or bobble the freakin' puck.

8:57 PM: Sharks strategy: Get the puck. Pass around the perimeter. Hold it at the point. Pass around the perimeter. Turn it over. Repeat.

8:55 PM: You know, Pebble Beach is within driving distance. Maybe I need to make some suggestions...

8:55 PM: Drew Remenda and I agree -- put Curtis Brown in the lineup every night, even just for PK/4th line minutes.

8:53 PM: Hooking calls require the stick to actually hook the guy rather than just brushing by him, right? I know, I know, hindsight and instant replay are 20/20.

8:53 PM: Is Jack Johnson going to earn the nickname Big Johnson or is that too late 80's/early 90's to be funny?

8:52 PM: Craig Rivet on the bench: "Bla bla bla work hard, stay positive bla bla bla bad bounce keep working bla bla bla generic cliche #15"

8:51 PM: If Rob Davison can be a forward, I have some guys on my beer league team who should get a shot at playing left wing.

8:48 PM: Oh, bloody hell. You idiots.

8:47 PM: I love how Sandis Freakin' Ozolinsh spends more time in the slot area than any forward.

8:45 PM: Well, that was a useless shift. However, even though Cheech has never exactly been a smooth skater, his crossovers and turns look totally awkward (yes, even worse than usual), like he's playing beginner beer league down at Logitech Ice. There were those rumblings about his groin/hernia not fully recovering, and I'm beginning to believe it. You don't just lose that sort of innate scoring ability and shot unless something's REALLY jacking up your timing and ability to create space.

8:44 PM: Here comes Cheechoo...

8:43 PM: Random fact: one of my best friends has a man-crush on Milan Michalek.

8:40 PM: HOLDING? How does Murray hold him if he never takes his hands off his stick? Not to sound like a homer, but just sayin'...

8:39 PM: Sharks/Avs promo. Do we really need to see all billion Colorado goals against the Sharks again?

8:37 PM: Big Murray goes to the box. On Tivo instant replay, I see that he DIDN'T take his hand off the stick. He did, however, wave his arms in disgust.

8:35 PM: On Jonathan Cheechoo's next shift, I'm going to just focus on him and see if I can get a sense of an injury.

8:34 PM: Jebus, Joe Thornton can make a tape-to-tape pass while flying through the air a la Bobby Orr. How the hell do you pull that shit off?

8:33 PM: The rush you DON'T want to see: Patrick Rissmiller leading Douglas Murray.

8:32 PM:Is the Sharks Leadership Council like the Council of Old Guys in Lord of the Rings?

8:30 PM: Nice move by Ladislav Nagy. I was watching the Yotes/Ducks game the other day and the Anaheim guys couldn't remember that Nagy was no longer in Phoenix. You think of all the other teams they'd know, it'd be LA's roster.

8:28 PM: Second period, here we go.

8:27 PM: Now I'm really multi-tasking -- liveblogging AND chatting with Earl Sleek at the same time. Technology rules!

8:24 PM: Randy and Drew are talking about the tongue-lashing Ron Wilson gave today. What hasn't RWilson tried? He's been nice, he's been a jerk, he's mashed lines together. George McPhee was talking about Glen Hanlon being fired and he said that at one point, it's not that you have a bad coach, it's just that everyone gets so nervous that nothing works out.

8:22 PM: Second period should start in a few minutes. I've decided to try and change the Sharks' second-period mojo by putting on my never-before-worn Jeremy Roenick jersey. Just ripped the tags off and put it on. Here goes nothing.

8:20 PM: On a whim, I decided to liveblog this game starting from the second period (the dogs are fed, wife's feeling sick and went to bed early). Initial impressions: I've seen this trick before by the Sharks -- play hard for the first period, shoot the crap out of the opponent, and only walk out with one goal. If things follow the typical Sharks pattern, they'll only get four shots this period and give up two.

Guest Post: Sharks Time Capsule #2

(Here's another shitty post from Megalodon. I don't have the heart to tell him that he sucks at writing, so try and humor him in the comments. He tries so hard!)

In the Battle of California, the Sharks are the odd team out. Aside from their obvious geographic isolation, a number of other factors set the team apart, such as:

1. Their age. The team is not the respected older sibling or the over-achieving youngster. They are the forgotten middle child, working hard and doing the best they can, doomed to always be overlooked in favor of their older or younger brethren.

2. Their town. Los Angeles has a million things going on aside from the Kings, including the Lakers, Dodgers, and of course, their awesome football team whose name escapes me. Anaheim has Disneyland and the Angels (I think - although I must admit their name confuses me a bit). San Jose has the Sharks and...uh...well...a decent public-transit system? An airport? Jeez - wikipedia, help me out here.

"San Jose is the third-largest city in California, and the tenth-largest in the United States."

Okay, that's kind of impressive. I didn't know that. Got anything else?

"It is the county seat of Santa Clara County."

Nope. Anything better?

"By the 1990s, San Jose's location within the booming local technology industry earned the city the nickname Capital of Silicon Valley."

That smacks of a nickname that the city gave itself, so that's no good.

Holy crap, check out what they have to say about sports:

"San Jose has had previous attempts to draw teams from Major League Baseball, the NFL and the NBA by offering stadium deals or attracting relocating sports teams. In 1991 the San Francisco Giants baseball team nearly closed the deal to play in San Jose. ^{[citation needed]} In 1997 the Golden State Warriors basketball team after playing some games in the HP Pavilion nearly moved to San Jose. ^{[citation needed]} Neighboring Santa Clara recently announced (2006) a new stadium deal will break ground and be completed by 2009, as the new home of the San Francisco 49ers football team. ^{[citation needed]} San Jose may also soon house the practice facilities for the Oakland Raiders."

Well that's just sad. Like I said, San Jose doesn't have a lot going on aside from the Sharks - unlike the cities where the Ducks and the Kings play. Again, the Sharks are the outsiders.


3. Their logo. For some reason, the Sharks are the only team that actually depicts their mascot in their logo. The Kings have a crown (which is admittedly way better than an actual king, as we will see later in this post) and the Ducks have the word Ducks (great work, guys!), but the Sharks have an actual shark.


There are many other things that I could go into that set the Sharks apart from the other two California teams, but I would like to close by examining one difference that marks the Sharks as a FAR superior organization to either the Ducks or the Kings.

This final difference requires us to set our Way-Back machine to 1996, when the Kings and the Ducks did something that the Sharks didn't do. They did something terrible - something disgusting - something that should go down in history as a crime against the NHL and the human race. The mere fact that the Sharks DIDN'T follow the other California teams is reason enough to celebrate San Jose's independent, if lonely, ways.

What was this awful undertaking that the Kings and the Ducks shared? Be warned - the following images may cause dizziness and vomiting, and should not be viewed by anyone with eyes.

Oh god! What the hell is that thing?

Oh no! There's another one!

There. You've seen them - you can't un-see them. I would like to submit these images as proof of San Jose's dominance of the Battle of California for all time, regardless of how any games played actually turn out.

Guest Post: Sharks Time Capsule #1

By Megalodon


In 2001, the San Jose Sharks' AHL affiliate, the Kentucky Thoroughblades (worst name EVER!) were moved to Cleveland, Ohio. Once there, the team name was changed to the Cleveland Barons, to reflect the now-defunct AHL team that had existed in the city from 1937-1973.

The old Cleveland Barons logo looked like this:


Hey look! It was already Sharks colors, pretty much. Convenient, right? But obviously the logo was a little out-dated, and needed a redesign. The question was, what new image could incorporate elements of the Sharks brand while still retaining the class and charm of the traditional logo? Would they use San Jose's color scheme more extensively, or perhaps go subtler, changing the font or adding a hint of a Shark fin somewhere to the Baron's outfit?


BOOM:


Take that, subtlety! Is that a Shark AND a Baron? Damn straight it is. Problem solved - we've got our new logo! Not only will this guy eat you alive, but he won't even lose his monocle while he does it. Then he'll tip his hat to your shredded corpse before swimming off to attend regattas and grand cotillions. (Ed. note: First use of "cotillion" in a post about hockey ever? I sure hope so.)

According to Wikipedia, the Shark in the Barons logo was originally designed as a possible alternate logo for San Jose (yeah, right) and then they just stuck some baron clothes on it with photoshop or something. Sweet. Good work, guys.

I wish all NHL teams would do stuff like this with their affiliates; these bastard hybrid logos would be some of the greatest ever. The Portland Duck-Pirates? The Norfolk Lightning-Admirals*? The Bridgeport Islander-Sound Tigers? (Wait, did I do that right? What the hell is a sound tiger?)

Sadly, the Barons moved to Worcester in 2006, and became simply the Worcester Sharks, who apparently are still using the Sharks' old logo and jersey design. So I guess the Baron-Shark hybrid is gone forever...but I can still have high hopes for the Chicago Thrasher-Wolves!




* - Wait, the AHL has two teams named the Admirals - Norfolk AND Milwaukee? Lame.

"Who are we? The Wildcats! Who are we going to beat? The Wildcats!"

Ducks Gameday—If Reebok made a movie...

Anaheim Ducks (4-4-1, 3rd in west) at Dallas Stars (3-2-2, t-4th in west)

I'd write something about the Stars, but (a) it's Saturday, who wants to read?, and (b) I'll have a much better feel for that team sometime in our next seven matchups. Thankfully for the Ducks it's been an awfully slow-starting west; only three western teams are more than one game over .500 (MIN, DET, STL). Anyway, you can go read Andrew's Page, Patty's page, or Razor's page to see what's going on in the Hold 'em State.

Instead, I'll just say what everyone is thinking: what is up with the Stars' home uniform—writing out the city name but omitting the team logo?

Oh wait a second. A stupid movie? Replacing a logo with text? I guess I should look in the NHL mirror.

Prediction: Ducks 5, Stars 3. Goals by Beauchemin, McDonald, Kunitz, Pahlsson, and the Duck who has improved his game the most this summer—George Parros.

Go Ducks.

Sharks release new home and road jerseys

Here are a couple of videos from the press conference in San Jose unveiling the new San Jose Sharks home and road RBK Edge jerseys. Mike Grier, Joe Thornton and GM Doug Wilson talk about the new design, and take a few shots at their teammates as well.

The new RBK jersey is a little more streamlined, cuts down on weight and water absporption, and has a lot of new technology to increase ventilation, but how is it going to look on your average NHL fan? Sleek may have the metabolism of a thoroughbred racing armadillo, but the rest of us drink beer and eat polish sausage simultaneously while sitting on a couch or a bar stool yelling at Kerry Fraser.

There was a small amount of vocal opposition to the new Sharks logo, and there will be the same amount for the new jersey design, but both will grow on fans quickly enough that they can get back to hating on Anaheim and Los Angeles forthwith. I looked through the press release from RBK and could not find any information on how smog would affect the gains of the new RBK Edge uniform system. Sleek or RK can post a followup on that.

War Brad Stuart.

BoC uniform parade

NHL 08 screenshots courtesy of this site, discovered through Mirtle. Reactions?

Guest Post: Orange Rhymes With Sucks

My roommate, who goes by Megalodon (oddly enough, that's not a nom de plume; that's his real name), is a Sharks fan. Like all Sharks fans, he's smart, socially awkward, and very, very smug. He's been worried about the Sharks' new jerseys lately, and since I'm sure you're tired of reading my 8,000 word screeds about the Kings' 3rd liners, I told him to write something up. Here's what he came up with:


As a loyal Sharks fan in exile deep in DucKing territory, the image of my home team is very important to me. I have many fond memories of riding the train from my home town in the Bay Area to the arena for a game. Amidst the normal assortment of train riders – college students, drunks, and guys who just got out of prison for robbing a bank and don’t want to buy a knife from another guy on the train (long story) – were a few good souls proudly displaying their chosen uniform - teal. Since the Sharks let go of their original jerseys (which, no debate, sucked ass), they’ve had an edgy, stylish look that has served them well. Every game in San Jose the arena is a sea of cool (in temperature and in awesomeness) colors: teal, silver, and black. They had an identity and a color-scheme that stood out in the league, and I loved it.

I’m not here to complain about the new logo. It’s fine. It’s a mean Shark biting a stick, so they kept the spirit of the original. What does concern me, however, are all the rumors that have been going around about the new jerseys making a much bigger deal of something that’s thankfully been a minor part of Sharks history thus far – orange. The Sharks have always had a touch of orange in their logo, and the updated version emphasized it a little bit, which was fine. It’s never been on their jerseys before, and so orange and me got along fine. I was ready to dismiss the rumors about the new orange jersey until I saw pictures of the Sharks players at last weekend’s pacific division tournament:





They’re wearing the old uniforms, but the pants and gloves they’ll use this season. Do you see what I see? Did your heart just sink out of your ass? Yeah, me too. There’s an awful lot of ORANGE on those accessories. So much orange that it would look quite strange if there wasn’t a good amount of it on the new jerseys.

I am anxious. I am nauseous. I am filled with fear and loathing.

Color-wise, the team will still stand out from the pack - just like the dude at the party with the lampshade on his head. If I do something drastic Monday when the team unveils the new jerseys, let this be a record of what drove me to it – the cursed color orange.

Bonus artist's conception of the new jerseys here!

Re-designing jerseys: the new expansion?

I'm not sure how everyone else feels about the Reebokification of hockey sweaters, but as a fan who's team underwent a jersey and logo re-design just a summer ago, I'll say that I'm pretty disillusioned about the development. Not only does it seem to be a meaningless move in terms of improving the on-ice product, but it stinks pretty much of a cash grab.

I'm calling it "the new expansion" because the revenue ramifications worry me: owners obviously like re-designs because it's a pretty easy way to make a cheap buck, forcing their fans to buy into a new look. And sure, there's nothing wrong with doing that once in a while. But I don't really trust the NHL to treat these one-time revenue streams appropriately. Before the lockout, expansion fees were another one-time revenue source that really escalated the league's spending appetite, but once that revenue stream dried up, all that remained was an unsustainable salary structure. Nowadays, with salaries linked to revenues, the dangers are different, but I worry about contract commitments made after a year with artificially high revenues (under an artificially high salary cap).

From an Anaheim fan's perspective, I'm getting sick of these re-inventions. Three seasons ago the team wore white Mighty Duck jerseys at home. Two seasons ago they switched to dark-at-home and introduced a 3rd jersey. Last season the team re-designed its team name and logo for a brand-new look, and next season it will convert to Reebok-style fitted jerseys. While I'm sure that each year's sweater development has earned the franchise tons of money, I think the market is shrinking for jerseys with a one-year shelf life. Be warned, NHL. You may have found a nice trick to scrape together some quick cash, but like expansion fees, I don't think the boost is sustainable. If and when it loses its steam, I really hope you're not planning on making up the revenue on already-high ticket prices.

Readers: If you are curious about these new uniform developments (and yeah, it is still kind of exciting), check out NHL Tournament of Logos, who's doing a great job of keeping track of all the league's changes.

Meanwhile, in other BoC news:

• Since Mike Chen is knee-deep in wedding preparations (congrats, btw!), I'll go ahead and give a BoC shoutout to a new Sharks blog that started this summer, Bleed Teal, run by Sharks fan Gautham Ganesan. I've linked to his story on the latest re-signing by Doug Wilson: a 6-year, $26 million extension for winger Milan Michalek. Though the Sharks have been quiet this summer when it comes to player addition, they have done a great job preparing for the future with extensions for Thornton and Michalek, and promise to be a scary team for the next several years.


• The ever-industrious James Mirtle has listed out the early standings projections of two major summer publications: McKeen's and The Hockey News. McKeen's has the Pacific Division as follows: Dallas (3rd), Anaheim (t-4th), San Jose (6th), Los Angeles (9th), and Phoenix (15th), while THN has it as: Anaheim (2nd), San Jose (4th), Dallas (11th), Los Angeles (12th), and Phoenix (15th). Feel free to spit on these Pacific projections in the comments, if you wish.


• Meanwhile, Steph at No Pun Intended has taken an enormous step for a Red Wings fan—admitting her admiration for a Duck. Actually, it's known as BryzgaLove, and its obvious target is the Anaheim backup-for-now, crazy Russian Ilya Bryzgalov (His best asset from a Wing fan's perspective? He's not Giguere). She has a great recap of Breezy's day with the cup (including his kick-ass shirt-of-many-colors), and is trying to find photo evidence of his allegedly-awesome Buccaneer costume, if anyone can help with that.

Tempting fate with the Jersey Curse

Longtime readers of my blog and the Battle of California will know that I am a ridiculously superstitious person when it comes to sports. There's a theory about religion and deities that they're only as powerful as the amount of belief/energy that people collectively give to it. I'm not going to go into a spiritual debate here, but I often wonder why my stupid sports superstitions, like the well documented Jersey Curse, doesn't seem to affect other people. Is it because I'm so paranoid about this?

In any case, at the beginning of the season I decided that it might have finally been time to put a name on the back of my Sharks jersey. At the end of last season, I had leaned towards getting a Steve Bernier jersey, but I decided to wait until a few months into the next season just in case Bernier, you know, decided that all of the awesomeness that he showed us at the end of the 2005-2006 season was a total and complete fluke.

Then the Sharks traded for Mark Bell. Again, longtime readers of my blog will know that I grew up a Chicago Blackhawks fan before joining the legions of disenfranchised Hawks supporters and cutting off my fandom. Still, I watched Hawks games on Center Ice and followed the team at a distant, and I always liked Bell. He was like a poor man's Keith Tkachuk without as much of a pure dickhead mean streak. I thought he'd be the perfect fit for the Sharks, and I was really excited about this trade. As a nod to my Hawks fan past, Bell became my top pick for my jersey.

Even though Bell didn't look perfectly comfortable the first few weeks of the season, he was still producing points and hitting. I was pretty comfortable with leaning towards Bell, but at the same time, I liked how Christian Ehrhoff was the only Shark blueliner who could skate through the neutral zone and fire off a monster one-timer and Milan Michalek impressed the hell out of me. So even though I was still considering Bell and Bernier, Ehrhoff and Michalek got in the running too. This is around the end of October and I figured that I'd never actually make a decision because I'm way too anal about this.

So, my friends went ahead and made a decision for me. And because of this, Mark Bell has sucked balls for the past three weeks.

Until recently, it took a few weeks to put in an order at the Sharks store for a customized jersey (they only had Thornton, Marleau, and Cheechoo at the store). For my birthday, my friends decided to just go ahead and put in an order for a Bell jersey. Right around the time, Bell began to totally suck balls. In fact, Bell hasn't had a point since my friends put in the order for the jersey. Coincidence or the return of the Jersey Curse? You be the judge!

I finally got my jersey at a birthday dinner on Friday night and wore it to last night's game. From my experience, the Jersey Curse lasts anywhere from 1-3 months. Last night, Bell had 16 minutes in PIMs, two fights, and he played with a lot more fire (hitting, shooting, speed) than I had seen in the past three weeks. Is he finally waking up and shaking off the effects of the Jersey Curse? I don't know, but I'm hoping that the Jersey Curse hasn't dragged Bell down for the season. Hopefully, the Jersey Curse lets up sooner rather than later because the Sharks sure could use the Mark Bell that got a good 25 goals for a shitty Blackhawks squad by planting himself in front of the crease and banging in rebounds -- not the Mark Bell who looks totally confused about where he should be in the offensive zone.

The OC, all about image, baby!

Well, finally the big-money boys decided to suit up and show off the home jerseys.

Of course, I had to doctor the background, but all in all, it's not a bad look.

It's growing on me, at least. But I'm probably buying a sweatshirt or something.

Don't want to get burned again (sniff, sniff)...

Yeeeesh

Fellow blogites, walk your children away from your monitors...and prepare to feel your skin crawl.

Props to James Mirtle, as per typical, for bringing attention to this disturbing development in jerseydom.

Earl and the Mighty Ducks must feel extra bailed out and even more comfortable with their bland jerseys. I think Sabres fans would take bland with open arms at this point. (Then again, they might take a pistol whipping at this point). I mean...with the Brett Hull Non-Goal, The Music City Miracle and Wide Right, haven't buffloans (scientific term) suffered enough?

Seeing jerseys like these, I cannot help but ask: who are these jerseys for? Seriously, that isn't a buffalo or a "sabre" or any large scary beast. It looks more like a horned guinea pig than anything else.

In honor of the "buffaslug," I proudly present the Atrocious Hockey Jersey Hall of Shame.

It might not be quite as bad as the other jerseys on this list, but few jerseys anger me quite as much as the Mustard Bear. Seriously, they take one of the ten best jersey designs in hockey...and rape it with an absolute eyesore of a jersey.

And I freakin' love bears. Maybe not "Grizzly Man"-love bears, but you know. It still makes me hurt.

What can I say about this jersey that Jes Golbez and ESPN.com's Page 2 haven't already nailed to the wall? This is the NHL's version of "Rowdy" Rod Piper's classic b-movie "They Live."

Somehow, some way, this can all be blamed on Mad Mike Milbury (does mad even need to be in quotes any more? I think not).
Maybe I'm showing my age here...because I'm still half-convinced that these jerseys are one of those jokes that anyone beyond the age of 30 is playing on younger generations. Seriously, did anyone ever wear this? Seriously?

The Kansas City Tuxedos???

Just kidding. Ah, the magic of Google Image searches. The context doesn't help me out much, either.

Photo credit: www.darrenbarefoot.com.

To quote my favorite philosophers: "Heh heh heh heh heh."

Look, I know Texans love eating steak, but seriously...

Feel free to post your own votes, as I'm sure each California team has its own dubious entries. Maybe it's because I really wish I could continuously re-live my childhood, but I've always kind of been a sucker for the Gretzky-era Kings duds.

I mean, especially when it inspires such beautiful art.

In my searches for awful jerseys, I came up an old entry in Red and Black Hockey among others. This has some more obscure and frankly, even more frightening jerseys than I've featured here.

Where will the Sabres' jerseys rank among the lowest of the low? Let's hope for the beleaguered people of Buffalo that will never find out.

(Also, the Nashville Predators deserve an honorable mention for their overall efforts to consistenly awful jerseys).

The Jersey Curse Continues

I am a firm believer in the curse of the jersey. I've documented here before about some of my own personal examples of the jersey curse kicking in. No jersey curse, however, has reached as deep as the one that affected Nils Ekman. You see, one of my friends decided to get an Ekman jersey after a pretty darn good 2003-2004 campaign, and that decision seemed reasonable at the time. However, this season it became evident that the jersey curse was hampering Nils down. Even after he got elevated to the Thornton/Cheechoo line, Ekman was still inconsistent to a frustrating level, and he never, ever learned to stay onside.

Ekman's got pretty good hands, and when he wants to, he can be a pretty good two-way player. Back in 03-04, he killed penalties on a regular basis.

So what happened? How did Nils Ekman lose his mojo? Simple -- my friend got his jersey and cursed him. Perhaps the curse was doubly strong because my friend had never owned a jersey of any kind before, let alone one with a name on it.

Earlier this season, Ekman had commented how he didn't want to get traded because he liked the Bay Area and he had just had a baby daughter. Well Nils, hope they sell Swedish food in Pittsburgh, because you've just been shipped out for a second rounder. Considering what Mike Johnson and Richard Zednick went for, Ekman's asking price was surprisingly high (a goalie prospect was thrown in, but he was way down in the Sharks' depth charts).

Is it a blessing or a curse? Ekman goes from what many consider to be a Stanley Cup contender to a bottom feeder. However, he's one of the NHL-proven talents on the Penguins roster. Does that mean he gets to play left wing with Sidney Crosby? If so, that's not too bad of a move -- going from Joe Thornton to Sidney Crosby as your center.

The one cool thing I liked about Nils is that, besides the fact that he had no eyebrows, he always seemed to be a genuinely nice fellow who was always smiling. In fact, on the occasion he was named one of the three stars, he'd skate and bow to the crowd a la Andre Agassi. I can't say that Nils will be terribly missed other than by my friend who now has to buy a new jersey, but I wasn't exactly opposed to having a 20-goal scorer on the Sharks third line. Perhaps it's a salary dump, perhaps it's the pre-cursor to another move.

All I can say is that with Vincent Damphousse gone and Nils Ekman gone, all of the Sharks players now have eyebrows.

The New Jersey Ducks

Pssst, hey free agents, remember what a laughingstock that team from Anaheim used to be, since it was based on a Disney film? Well look at us now, all spiffy and non-repulsive!

The Extreme Makeover: NHL Franchise Edition has finally transformed this once-sorry 'ugly duckling' franchise into a non-threatening 'beautiful swan', no longer pissing off the traditionalist jerks around the league. The wacky Duck logo? Gone, replaced by some forensic footprint evidence suggesting that Ducks may have once walked the earth.

Nothing says 'respect' like giving in to foreign pressure, eh? How can they laugh at us now, with our pussy-out half-ass desperate stab at respect? Our bland inability to offend anyone?

For instance, nobody will ever do something like this, now that we're respectable and all:

What a year to be a Ducks fan! The NHL, wanting more love, changed its game and its image in order to appeal to non-fans, and Anaheim, also wanting more love, alienated its past in order to also appeal to non-fans! Yay for the non-fans, who continue to outmuscle the existing fanbase once again! Thanks for teaching me again the hard lesson of irrelevance.

But hey, maybe I'm being a little too kneejerk here. I don't like the jersey (or even the fact that we felt compelled to change), but I still really like the team Burke is building. Better to root for a good team with a junk jersey than the alternative, I guess. Don't expect me to upgrade my Vishnevski jersey, though.

So what do you guys think about the new Anaheim name/look or the team? Did we make any Ducks fans this summer? (Or any NHL fans this year?)

I'd love to hear if this 'selling out' is paying off.

Dang

I'm a very superstitious sports fan. For example, I haven't washed my jersey since the playoffs began. Why? Because the Sharks have won every game and I don't want to mess up any mojo -- even when some drunk jackass behind me spilled a little strawberry margerita on it (I did clean up the spots). During college, I once came home during a playoff game from my own hockey game and still had my cup on. Because the Sharks came from behind that game, my roommates and I decided it was important that I wear my cup for the rest of the series.

Between my friends and I, every time someone has gotten a new jersey with a name/number, the player has gone through a slump. For example, when we gave my buddy an Evgeni Nabokov jersey, Nabby had a bad season. Another friend bought a Selanne jersey halfway through the 2002-2003 campaign when Teemu was on pace for 40 goals. Right afterwards, Selanne went dry for the rest of the season and only finished with 28 goals. Heck, even when I bought a new blank jersey, the entire team slumped.

This season, every time I have criticized a certain player (whom I will not mention so I don't wreck his mojo), he has performed well. Consequently, every time I have remarked an opposing player has not been playing well, said player has immediately hurt the Sharks.

If you've ever read Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch (the crappy Jimmy Fallon movie was based on his excellent book), you know that sports superstitions occur no matter what sport or what league you follow. When mojo's working, you just don't mess with it.

How does sports mojo work? I'm not sure -- perhaps every fan does one or two things and collectively the sports mojo comes together or breaks apart based on the cumulative actions of each fan. Or perhaps I'm just stupid (along with every other superstitious fan).

One aspect of mucking with mojo is talking about a future series before it has come. Consequently, I fear that my participation in The Battle of California blog may have had adverse effects on the Sharks/Oilers series. Sure, it could just be that the Edmonton fans gave their home team a huge boost, and the team experienced some bad breaks in Game 4 before collapsing into a defensive shell. Or it could be the team came out in a defensive shell for Game 3 and just played scared for most of the game.

All's I know is that I'm not a superstitious guy except for gambling and sports. I just hope the power of my unwashed jersey will be enough to get the Sharks back on track tomorrow.