Kings Gameday: Red Dawn 2

LA Kings vs. Washington Bolsheviks

7:30 PST, Fox Sports West


Tonight is Russian Heritage Night at Staples Center, which is a great idea because it gets all of them in one spot so we can capture them. I stopped paying attention to politics in 1989, so I don't know too much, but I do know that commies are bad and I hate them. They tried to trick me with that whole Glasnost thing, but I know what's up: Russians, having failed to take over the world economically, are now trying to take over through hockey. They've infiltrated our nation's capital, led by their furry leader, Alex Ovechkin. His comrades Alex Semin (hehe) and Sergei Fedorov are probably "out" tonight, but I'm pretty sure it's all a ruse for some sort of un-American activity.* Standing in their way? The good, solid, American squad of Los Angeles Kings, led by Drew Doughty, Anze Kopitar and Erik Ersberg. The Kings are the only thing standing in the way of a Russian invasion, and I'll be damned if they're going to fail. "Wolverines!"


*We really should start some sort of committee to investigate all these Un-American activities. I think the House of Representatives should get on this.


***

As part of Russian Heritage Night, the Kings are offering a ticket that allows you to get two free vodka drinks. Does that seem offensive to anyone else? Are they going to have a African-American heritage night and offer Kool-Aid? I don't get why we as a society let stuff like that slide and yet when I offer my penis to the girls' soccer team I'm the asshole. Geez, you've never seen 10 year-olds create such a commotion.

***

As promised, here's your chance to vote on a new nickname for the Patrick O'Sullivan-Anze Kopitar-Dustin Brown line. I vow to call this line whatever nickname you pick for the rest of the season or until I get bored. The popular option in the comments was Danzick O'Brownitar, and commenter Reeces came up with this picture (I think he used Kopitar's eyes):


Weird that you can take three ugly guys, combine them, and the result is James Marsden.

What to Name the O'Sullivan-Kopitar-Brown Line

Terry Murray has reunited the Patrick O'Sullivan-Anze Kopitar-Dustin Brown line that was such a surprising success in the 2nd half of last season. If that sentence sounds familiar it's because I wrote it about 3 weeks ago the first time Murray did this; then they played one game together and Murray put O'Sullivan on the 4th line. Now O'Sullivan is seemingly back and I think it's time the line deserved a name. because I had this all set up before Murray dicked them (and me around). Here's a few options I came up with, and then I'll take a few good suggestions in the comments and have a vote tomorrow. Hooray for democracy!

Option A: LAPD, Central Division- This option evokes memories of the old LAPD line (Allison-Palffy-Deadmarsh), but it has the added bonus of being a little bit more rough 'n tumble than the old line. The name works because their names work (Anze-Patrick-Dustin) and it's similar to the older incarnation because all three had a niche that complimented the other two. The downside to this name is obviously the fact that all three LAPD members were out of hockey 4 years after they first hooked up. Also, the name isn't entirely original.



Option B: Dawn of the Dead Line- A solid comedy option, the name works because the line is unyielding and relentless; also, all three of them look like zombies. I chose "Dawn" because they're all young and at the dawning of their career. (I'm clever.) This line could also be called the Sandman Line, although I'm starting to think that Dustin Brown should take that name for himself. The best part of this nickname: when they score, the entire arena could moan, "BRAAAIIIINNNSSS." It admittedly wouldn't make much sense, but it would be funny.

Option C: The Whew Line- "Shit, is that Kyle Calder? Oh, it's just Patrick O'Sullivan. Whew."

Option D: The Maxi-PAD Line- So called because their names line up (Patrick-Anze-Dustin) and because they give maximum effort on every shift. The downside is... actually, I can't think of one. Try to make fun of that name, pundits!

So there you go. Let me know if you have any good ideas in the comments. Something involving raccoons would be appreciated.

Update: This doesn't have anything to do with anything, but I'll be damned if it's not the most adorable thing I've ever seen:

Kings Gameday: Reunited and it Feels So Good

Los Angeles Kings (3-4-1) vs. Vancouver Canucks (4-5)

7:30 PST, Fox Sports West

Patrick O'Sullivan will skate with Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar tonight, reuniting the Sandman Line* that was so effective in the 2nd half of last season. It's all well and good for those three because they love playing with one another, but the question I have is: why? Kopitar, Brown, and O'Sullivan are all playing over 18 minutes a game and they're all averaging about a point a game on separate lines. Kopitar and Brown have been effective though somewhat smothered by opposing defenses, while O'Sullivan has been the driving force on the third line** alongside Jarret Stoll and Oscar Moller. It seems like this is a move designed to end Kopitar's perceived struggles, but at the expense of the Kings' newfound offensive depth.


*I call them the Sandman Line because they put opponents to sleep. Actually, it's because they all look really tired.

**Can we end the whole charade that Alex Frolov is on the third line? He and Handzus are playing the 3rd and 4th minutes on the team among forwards. They're playing against the other teams top lines. And they're doing awesome. They're not the 3rd line.

There were a few more shifts in the line-up worth mentioning. Well, they're not, but I'm going to anyway. Kyle Calder has joined Jarret Stoll (I keep writing "Stool" instead) and Oscar Moller on the 3rd line. It'll be interesting to see how this line does: will Stoll and Moller be able to create offense on their own, or will Calder drag them down? The answers are, in order, "no" and "yes."

Matt Moulson also rejoins the lineup tonight in place of Brad Richardson. The move is designed to provide a little defensive responsibility. Of course, the defensive problem on that line is not Richardson but instead Ivanans and Armstrong. I dont' know why the Kings don't sit Ivanans for a game because he's been sucking and not fighting lately, but who the hell knows. I think Richardon, Boyle and Moulson should all play one game, just to see how the Kings do with 4 legit lines. Oh well. No one really cares, I guess. Hey look, a duck.

***

The Vancouver Luongos come into town tonight, led by their resolute captain. A lot of people made a big deal out of Luongo being named captain, but why the fuck not? He's their best player, he's probably the best athlete on the team, and he's a pretty outgoing guy. It's not like the past where goalies were dangerous lunatics that couldn't be reasoned with. As a goaltender myself, I am tired of the blatant stereotypes perpetuated upon my race. If a black man can become president, a goalie can become captain. Now that's change I can believe in.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. Goals by O'Sullivan, Kopitar, and Brown. Well, they better score, anyway; it's not like anyone else is going to now.

Kings Gameday: This is Awkward

Los Angeles Kings (2-3) @ St. Louis Blues (4-2)

5:30 PST, FSN West, FSN Mountain West

Whenever the Kings play the St. Louis Blues I always get uncomfortable. I liked Andy Murray when he was the coach of the Kings, crazy tests notwithstanding, but it gives me a weird vibe every time I see him. It's like when you see an old high school teacher that you thought was cool but now the whole relationship between the two of you has been changed and neither one knows how to act. So you just kind of fumble a hello and then awkwardly explain why the dreams you had in high school are long since dead and they just kind of look at you with that weird cross between wonderment and bewilderment. I don't like it and I just wish it would be over.

No, Mr. Murray, I'm actually writing a hockey blog... hey, why are you crying?

The Blues are off to a nice little start, led by Paul Kariya, Keith Tkachuk, Andy MacDonald, and Brad Boyes... wait, what the hell? They're going to tail off, right? There's absolutely no way a playoff team can be led by those 4 doofuses. Anyway, the Blues have been outstanding thus far on the power play, leading the league with a conversion percentage of 40.7%. That's obviously unsustainable, but neither is the Kings' 100% penalty kill so it'll be interesting to see which one breaks first.


The Kings are shuffling up their lines a little bit, skating Kyle Calder alongside Kopitar and Brown for about 12 minutes a game. I really like the way Terry Murray has been using Patrick O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan is skating with Oscar Moller and Jarret Stoll and is doing a good job of driving that line until Jarret Stoll takes a stupid hooking penalty. On top of that, O'Sullivan is taking 4 or 5 shifts a game with Kopitar/Brown, usually in the third, when the Kings need a little extra push. The result is almost 19 minutes a game for O'Sullivan, in line with Dustin Brown and Alexander Frolov.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Goals by O'Sullivan, Frolov, Brown and Stoll. Jack and Erik Johnson share a beer and talk about what the hell just happened to their seasons.

Patty's Back, Dustin's Sportin' a C and Zatkoff's a Californian

(Scroll down past this post if you want to see one of Earl's crazy charts. Yeah, I wouldn't either.)

I was lying in bed trying to think of how I'd integrate Patrick O'Sullivan back into the lineup and I came up with this:

The first game, I'd bench him. I'd take him to my office and explain that there are 22 other guys in the locker room that worked hard the past 2 weeks to get a chance to play in the NHL and I was going to reward him for that. Plus, he's still a little out of game shape and I don't want him getting hurt.

The second game, I'd suit him up. I'd let his name get announced in front of the Staples Center crowd and let him experience a big ovation to let him know that the fans welcome him back and everything's okay. I'd only play him maybe 4 or 5 minutes, though, and scratch Ivanans. Let Calder skate on the 4th line and use Patty sparingly.

I'd sit him the 3rd game against Anaheim so he can work on his conditioning and then play him against Carolina, this time on the 3rd line in Brad Richardson's place. Let him slowly work his way up like he did last year and give him a little penalty kill time if he's earned it.

He will probably be feeling pretty good by this point so I'd let him play in the Kings' 5th game and then one of the back-to-back games that weekend. I'd keep him in the same role and encourage him to prove that he belongs in a scoring role again.

That next week the Kings have their 8th, 9th, and 10th games of the season and I would expect O'Sullivan should be back in game shape. At that point I'd make a decision on Oscar Moller; if he's ready for a full NHL season I'd put O'Sullivan up with Kopitar and Brown and put Matt Moulson with Richardson/Simmonds and Handzus, and if he's not then I'd send him down and skate O'Sullivan-Stoll-Frolov. Either way, I'm ready to roll two good scoring lines and Patrick O'Sullivan is back and ready to rock.

What do you guys think? Should the Kings "punish" O'Sullivan for holding out? Should they give him his old job back? Should I get a hobby? Let everyone know in the comments.

***

Dustin Brown is the new captain of the Los Angeles Kings. He's the 12th captain in Kings' history, 13th if you want to count Blake's two stints separately. Take a look at the past few captains:

Dave Taylor, 85-89
Wayne Gretzky, 89-96
Luc Robitaille, 92-93 (Gretzky was out most of the year with a bad back)
Rob Blake, 96-01
Mattias Norstrom, 01-07
Rob Blake, 07-08

Those are some big shoes to fill, but I think Brown is a good guy and should be able to fill them easily. It's going to be fun watching him for at least the next 6 years.


Anze Kopitar and Matt Greene were named assistant captains. Kopitar was expected because he's definitely the on-ice leader of the team but Greene is a little bit of a surprise. He's supposed to be pretty funny so maybe he's assuming goof duties from now on. One thing I like is that the Kings didn't pick any veteran for a leadership role. I think if they had picked one of Jarrett Stoll, Sean O'Donnell, Michal Handzus or Alex Frolov it would have sent a message that the others weren't worthy. By picking all younger guys the Kings are giving the veterans in the room a message where the Kings are headed and what is expected of them as old guys. That doesn't really make sense I'm too lazy to change it. It's gonzo blogging!

***

Jeff Zatkoff has been sent down to the Ontario Reign to assume goaltending duties. We'd all like to see a Bernier/Zatkoff duo curbstomp the competition in Manchester, but this is good for a few reasons:

-This will probably allow both Zatkoff and Bernier an opportunity to experience a full professional season. Zatkoff's career high games played is 36 and Bernier's is 54. Placing both of them in a unchallenged starter's role will allow them to adjust to the grueling minor league schedule.

-This gives the Kings options if either Labarbera or Ersberg get hurt. If one of the two were to get hurt a few hours before the game, the Kings can just call up Jeff Zatkoff as an emergency fill-in. No more will the Kings undergo travesties like last season, when Jonathan Quick had to fly between Reading to start and Los Angeles to back up Erik Ersberg.

-I get to watch Zatkoff play. I plan on going to a Reign game or two and I don't want to root for some fat oaf. Now the Kings just need to assign Wayne Simmonds, Alec Martinez and Anze Kopitar to Ontario and I'll be all set. Also, when Ontario scores, are they going to play "Make it Rain" by Fat Joe? I would chuckle.

It will be interesting to see how the Kings handle the other goaltenders in the pipeline. It's been made clear that Jonathan Bernier, Jeff Zatkoff and Jonathan Quick are the three stars of the goaltending group and Daniel Taylor, for whatever reason, does not belong. Do the Kings keep Taylor in Manchester and give Bernier most of the starts, or do they let Quick and Bernier share responsibilities in Manchester and place Taylor in Ontario or Reading?* It's something you can watch for, or at least forget about until I remind you in a few days. The things I do for you people.

*I guess the Kings are still affiliated with the Royals in that they can send players down if they're wanted. I imagine they wouldn't mind having one of our goaltenders.

Patrick O'Sullivan Signed

Rich Hammond is reporting that Patrick O'Sullivan has signed a three-year deal. No word on numbers yet.

"I shot him with a small revolver I keep near my balls."

I'm starting to wonder if Oscar Moller is being treated like Robert Downey, Jr.'s character in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. In the movie, Downey is brought to LA and shown off at a lot of parties by a movie producer to bring down the number on Colin Farrell. The same thing may be happening here. I think the Kings are hoping Ted Purcell and Patrick O'Sullivan see Oscar Moller taking their spots and start working a little harder to improve their game. Then, after 10 games, Moller can go down to Junior feeling better about himself and Purcell and O'Sullivan can join the team properly motivated. Is it a crazy theory? Yeah. Hey, you don't pay for this stuff, pipe down.


Awesome Update:

The numbers average out to $2.95 million dollars a season over 3 years but will pay him $4 million this year to help the Kings out with their cash budget.

Fuck. Yes.

I mean, I always hope that the term will be a little longer but overall this is pretty great. The Kings get 3 solid years of Patrick O'Sullivan up through his age 26 season. O'Sullivan gets paid and the Kings get a good deal to see how the team shakes out. By the time O'Sullivan's deal is up, guys like Doughty, Moller and Simmonds will be up as well. Some people may think that's a bad idea, but I actually prefer because it allows the GM to make decisions all at once and not get cornered by previous deals.

I don't know when O'Sullivan will be in game shape or on what line he'll play on, but hopefully he'll be ready to go sooner rather than later. He gives the Kings a lot of different options because he can play all three positions and can line up on the power play and penalty kill. I imagine the Kings will work him in slowly and then replace Moller with O'Sullivan when Moller has to go back to Junior. Not to toot my own horn, but I said before camp that I liked a Moulson-Kopitar-Brown line with a Frolov-Stoll-O'Sullivan line, and it seems we might get just that. Toot.

Lombardi got Patrick O'Sullivan signed for less than Andrei Kotsistyn's deal. Man, O'Sullivan signs and Rise Against's new CD comes out on the same day. Everything's comin' up Rudy!

Does Patrick O'Sullivan Have Any Leverage?

I know, I know, I promised I wouldn't talk about this, but David Blaine promised he would fall to his death and look what happened with that.

Can someone explain to me what Patrick O'Sullivan is doing? I admit that I'm kind of dumb (I listen to Andrew WK), but I don't really see where he has any sort of leverage in this contract holdout, stayaway, whatever you want to call it. To me, there are three ways a restricted free agent can affect his negotiations: arbitration, offer sheet, and missing time. O'Sullivan isn't eligible for arbitration, no one bit on an offer sheet, and the Kings are already missing the playoffs this season so it doesn't matter if he's there or not. There's no incentive for the Kings to give in at all.


Where does that leave O'Sullivan? Lombardi won't give a one-year deal because he doesn't care about this year. The LA Times is reporting Lombardi won't give into anything shorter than a three-year deal, by which time guys like Oscar Moller and Ted Purcell or firmly entrenched on the NHL roster and can replace O'Sullivan if necessary. I think O'Sullivan's agent was hoping to force the Kings into a Jeff Carter-type deal, but the reality is he won't get anything more than a Andrei Kotsitsyn deal. He can either take it or hold out all year. That's basically it.

***


Colten Teubert was returned to his Junior team yesterday, a move that was expected by some... okay, me. I expected it. Teubert's game is reliant upon strength and there was just no way he could hang with grown men at this point in time. He'll head to Junior and hopefully improve his defensive positioning and offensive game. I'd say we have 2 years until we see Teubert in the NHL.

Patrick O'Sullivan Not Showing Up to Camp

Hey, Patrick O'Sullivan isn't reporting to the start of camp as the Kings and his agent try to come to terms on a contract. That's pretty much all you're going to hear from me on this whole thing. I know it's a big story and everything, but I just can't bring myself to actually write about it. For one, we have no idea who is demanding what. Is it a Mike Cammalleri "I'm worth $6 million dollars" thing or is it a Dean Lombardi "I'm a miserable cheap ass" thing or is it an AEG "We hate spending money" thing? I have no idea and I'd say it's probably inappropriate for me to speculate. Second, I just don't really give a fuck about contracts. I don't follow hockey because I enjoy watching assholes argue over money. All I'll say is that O'Sullivan's contract sets a precedent for others and I understand why Lombardi wouldn't want to give in to him, but I also understand why O'Sullivan wants a big deal now in this market. Bottom line, I'd much rather focus on the guys who are at training camp, not the one guy who's not.

Tomorrow I'll have a training camp round-up that will cover all the training camp battles you'll need to keep your eye on. If you want to talk about how stupid Dean Lombardi is or why this is all Patrick O'Sullivan's dad's fault, go to Letsgokings.com, where I'm sure you'll find well-reasoned and level-headed discussion that is in no way retarded. I'll be focusing on hockey.

The Case Against Patrick O'Sullivan

He's 23 and has one full NHL season.

The Case for Patrick O'Sullivan

-Patrick O'Sullivan scored 53 points last season. The first half of the season, O'Sullivan played with Michal Handzus and Kyle Calder on the third line. He didn't get any power play time and was limited to the penalty kill (where he performed admirably). It wasn't until Mike Cammalleri got hurt near the end of December that O'Sullivan started playing with Anze Kopitar and Dustin Brown. In the 38 games O'Sullivan played in 2007, O'Sullivan scored 17 points; in the 42 games he played in 2008, O'Sullivan scored 34. That pace spread over 82 games comes about to 66 points. That's pretty good for a 23 year-old.

-O'Sullivan came up through Juniors and the AHL as a skilled, sniping forward who could potentially step into a top line role. The Kings instead started O'Sullivan on the 3rd line to help teach him both defensive play and a little humility. O'Sullivan responded beautifully, turning himself into a tenacious defender while still keeping his scoring touch. That's the kind of player you want to keep around no matter what.

-O'Sullivan was the 2nd most likely forward to be out on the ice when the Kings were a man down (behind Michal Handzus) and was the only bright point on an otherwise abysmal Kings' penalty kill. O'Sullivan had 3 short-handed goals last season without compromising his zone coverage.

-Do you ever wonder what Labarbera's insides look like?.
-What? No.
-...Me neither.

-O'Sullivan played the most special teams of any forward on the Kings. He was the Rob Blake of forwards, averaging over 2 minutes a game on both the power play and the penalty kill. On the power play O'Sullivan seemed a little uncomfortable integrating himself with everyone else on Kopitar's unit after Cammy got hurt, but that could be the result of little practice time. When Cammy came back O'Sullivan moved to play with Frolov and seemed much more comfortable since he was used in a shooting role.

-You're going to hear (from me) that O'Sullivan doesn't deserve much money because he's really only had one season in the NHL, but whose fault is that? O'Sullivan scored 19 points in 44 games as a 20 year-old; if the Kings had kept him up all season instead of sending him down so they could play Brian Willsie more, he would have had a 40-point season. O'Sullivan took his demotion like a man and killed in the AHL while he was there, then came up the next season and played excellently. O'Sullivan sacrificied personal gain to help the Kings get better; now the Kings need to pay him for that.

Overall, Patrick O'Sullivan is a very good two-way forward and is only 22. I think a good comparable for what Patrick O'Sullivan might become is Jason Pominville, a point-a-game player that plays on both special teams units. O'Sullivan was raised by an abusive, over-possessive father and has battled that to become one of the better young players you're going to see in this game. The only reason he hasn't show more is because the Kings haven't allowed him to do so; pay him what he'll be worth and let him show you that it was a good investment.

Non-hockey update: It's Saturday and this was boring so here's Norm MacDonald's roast of Bob Saget for you to enjoy. I love Norm.

A Bit of Tid

Here's an NHL.com article about Terry Murray, the new Kings coach. It's worth checking out the article just to see the picture that accompanies it.

***

Here's a few recent contracts and how they compare to Patrick O'Sullivan:

Andrei Kostitsyn: 3 years, $3.25 million/year

Valtteri Filpula: 5 years, $3 million/year

Joffrey Lupul: 4 years, $4.25 million/year

Corey Perry: 5 years, $5.35 million/year

Pierre-Marc Bouchard: 5 years, $4.08

Kostitsyn looks like the best comparable and I'd be fine with a contract like that.

***

Finally, if you're bored I highly recommend this blog that goes through every Goosebumps book and makes fun of them. A sample:

Left alone, Evan decides to buy himself an ice cream treat at the local market. He leaves Trigger tied up outside. When he returns with his ice cream sandwich, Ricky and Tony are stealing his dog. Evan whines about how they probably shouldn't and one of them knocks the ice cream sandwich out of his hand. The reader probably shouldn't be applauding this action, but I know I was. Trigger gets angry and once let loose, chases after the twins. Evan becomes terrified as he remembers how this happened in his dream-- except for that it didn't happen at all like that in his dream. Evan worries that he might turn into a monster. I hate this kid so much.

I don't care what this guy says, Say Cheese and Die! scared the shit out of me when I was a kid.

Self-Important Update:

The Sporting News Today has an interview with Dean Lombardi wherein he dismissed the Kopitar rumors and states that the Kings are trying to sign Anze Kopitar and Jack Johnson to long-term deals, ideally before the start of this season. I'd just like to point out that I guessed this a few weeks ago. I'm actually kind of impressed with myself. I haven't felt this proud since the time I whacked off 5 times in one day.*

*Sound effect for the 5th time: poof!

What's the Deal With O'Sullivan?

Everyone's freaking out because Patrick O'Sullivan hasn't yet signed. To recap: O'Sullivan had a break out of sorts last year, tallying 53 points in 82 games while also showing good hockey sense on the penalty kill. When you factor in just the time he was playing with Kopitar and Brown, he had 34 points in 40 games. Naturally, he's looking around at the league's situation and is seeing dollar signs. Why wouldn't he look at Jeff Carter's contract and think that seems about right for him? They're the same age, they had the exact same point totals this season, they both played on the penalty kill... they're kind of spitting images of one another. Of course, O'Sullivan doesn't have the track record Carter has and he hasn't shown what he can do in the playoffs, but the argument is there for his agent to exploit. The Kings, on the other hand, are hoping to sign O'Sullivan to a cheaper deal because they have to sign Kopitar and Johnson next year and others down the road. This all leads to an impasse that looks like it might take a while to resolve.


I think the hold-up doesn't necessarily involve O'Sullivan, but instead involves Anze Kopitar. We've heard his name in rumors recently and I think the reason isn't that he's getting traded, but that Lombardi is trying to get him locked down to a long-term deal. When you're dealing with restricted free agents, you want them to look at their value in relation to the team. If they're looking at their value in relation to other free agents, you're going to run into a problem. If the Kings can lock Kopitar down, they can then set the ceiling for every other free agent with whom they negotiate. A player isn't going to presume they're more important than Kopitar and will be less likely to demand more than him. Plus, signing Kopitar gives the team financial security and lets them know who the cornerstone is going to be in the future.


This is just some harebrained* theory of mine, so don't take it as gospel. I'm just saying that signing Kopitar first before their other restricted free agents makes a lot of sense and I wouldn't be surprised if Kopitar was pursuing it. Make O'Sullivan weigh his worth compared to Kopitar, not to other restricted free agents. Does this make sense or is the heat getting to me?


*I always thought it was "hairbrained," but then when I thought about it that didn't make sense. Like, they think with their hair? But then I thought even more about it, and "harebrained" seems stupid too. Are rabbits known for being stupid? They just kind of eat carrots and fuck all the time, and that seems pretty smart. I wish I could do that. I need to go lie down and think about this.

USA! USA!

Dustin Brown and Patrick O'Sullivan both contributed goals in a 5-1 ass-kicking over the infernal Swedes. The game was a tune-up for the US squad before the World Championships kick off. As an avowed nationalist and Norwegian descendant, I applaud this win. O'Sullivan's goal was assisted by Kessel and Mueller, which I guess means he's playing on the top line? Yeah, why not. Brown was assisted by Nathan Gerbe, also known as, "Hey, look at that little guy on Boston College! Hahaha!"

The Swedes will probably regroup and should still be competitive at the World Championships. I contacted one player for a comment and he said only, "Ordy bordy!" Apparently that means something in Swede.


(Is calling someone from Sweden a "Swede" considered derogatory? I sure hope so.)

Big News!

Dustin Brown and Patrick O'Sullivan made Team USA!

Other Kings who will likely play in the World Championships include Anze Kopitar and Alex Frolov. Mike Cammalleri has a pretty good track record in international play, so Canada may pick him up despite his sub-standard play this season. Hopefully Handzus and Lubo sit this one out, since they seem like they could use the rest.



Now, what the hell are the "play-offs" everyone keeps talking about?

Kings Gameday: Good Trade

Earl has a post that's far more interesting below


LA Kings (flub) @ Minnesota Wild (37-26-8, 6th in West)

5:00 PST, 1150 AM

Patrick O'Sullivan: 72 games, 19 G, 26 A, 20 PIM. 23 years old.

Trevor Lewis: 61 games, 8 G, 13 A, 33 PIM (in the AHL). 19 years old.

Pavol Demitra: 58 games, 16 G, 28 A, 20 PIM. 34 years old.


It's insane that Patty might outscore Pavol this season.* Minnesota fans, how has Demitra worked out for you?


*I know, Demitra has been hurt this season, but he's hurt every season.

***

Here's Wayne Simmonds, the surprise 2nd-round draft pick from last year:



The guy Simmonds pummeled? That's Robert Bortuzzo, a prospect for the Penguins. (Nice spear, asshole.) He's 6'4", 205. Wayne Simmonds, my new favorite player? Might be!

***

Marcel Goc has another amazing post up. Read it to find out about whom he said this:

He has a weak brain.


He'd be scarier if he didn't look like Franz Kafka.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. I think the Kings are like 7-1 when I predict them to lose, so I'm not going to mess with that. (I want a good draft pick.) Hat trick by O'Sullivan, who will have that same damn look on his face the whole time.

Kings Gameday: This Seems Familiar...

LA Kings (welp) vs. Montreal Canadiens (37-22-9, 2nd in East)

1:00 PST, FSN West



Tell me if you've heard this before:

-Goalie gets called up because of injury and incompetence among the top 2 Kings goaltenders

-Goalie plays well in a few games

-Goalie plays outstanding on a large stage and Kings fans fall in love

Who am I talking about? Erik Ersberg. And, Jonathan Bernier. Both are a little smaller than you'd like but both have great rebound control and very fluid motion. Bernier ended up proving he wasn't quite ready for the big show, while we'll have to wait and see what happens with Ersberg.

I'm not trying to be a downer; I'm actually in a great mood today because Corey Perry got hurt and I just heard Vin Scully say, "It's time for Dodgers baseball," for the first time this spring. I'm just saying, there's a reason Ersberg is just getting his shot in the NHL at the age of 26 (just turned today). I'd like to see him go on to become the next first great Kings goaltender, but I've seen too many come and go to get too excited right now.

***

Why do people hate Patrick O'Sullivan? I've noticed this for a while now, but the Senators game kind of brought it to a head. He got kneed, knocked down in front of the net, and then elbowed after he scored the game-clinching goal. I mean, he doesn't stick people as far as I can tell, and he never talks, so I don't get it. I have 2 theories:

1) His line. Opposing players can't hit Kopitar (because he's 6'4" and hitting him would start a war) or Brown (because he'd beat the hell out of them), so they go after O'Sullivan. The problem with this theory is that guys like to hit O'Sullivan even when he's not playing on the top line, so I don't think that's the only explanation.

2) His face. He always has that same look on his face. This one:



Look at that face. It's always the same. He scores, it's that face. He gets into a shoving match, it's that face. He's hanging out with supermodels...


...it's that face. The same slack jaw, those same cow eyes. I want to punch something just looking at it. I think guys see that face the entire game and it turns into maniacs. I fully expect to see Michael Komisarek try to fight Patty by the end of the game.

***

Speaking of Michael Komisarek, he's closing in on Dustin Brown's once substantial lead in hits. As of today, Brown is still leading with 274 hits, while Komisarek is in 2nd with 250. That is a story line to watch during the game, as they're likely to match up against one another.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Goals by Frolov, Kopitar, Preissing and Calder. Brown levels Komisarek, who in turn levels Cammalleri. Tom Kostopolous tries to fight O'Sullivan but ends up looking ridiculous.

He's Saying "I Look Like Ellen Degeneres" in Swedish

Early in the first period last night, Derek Armstrong went down with a knee injury. As the collective gasps went up from the Kings bench (not because of Armstrong; someone had spilled a water bottle), Marc Crawford began to despair. Here's an exclusive look at what happened next:

Marc Crawford: Curses! We can't win without Derek Armstrong! Go ahead and pack it up boys, this game's over.

Ted Purcell: (whispering) Hey, Kopy, who the hell is this Armtough guy?

Anze Kopitar: He's the shitty older guy on the team.

Ted Purcell: (confused) You're going to have to be more specific.

Patrick O'Sullivan: Umm, coach, I can play center if you want. I mean, I did play it in Junior and a little bit in the AHL, and a little bit earlier this ye-

Marc Crawford: No, no, no! We can't have you playing center, Peyton! Just let me think...

(silence)

Marc Crawford: Shut up! I got it. Maybe if we put Brian Willsie with Kopitar and Brown, and then- you!

Erik Ersberg: Da?

Marc Crawford: You're my new 2nd line center.

Erik Ersberg: Var det väl eller illa skrivet!

Marc Crawford: Yes, that's it! I put the swede with Frolov, Dave Lewis with Kopitar, Handzus with the popcorn guy, Phil Anschultz with... (unintelligible)

Patrick O'Sullivan: Cammy, Fro, you guys just want to go score 3 goals?

Mike Cammalleri: Sure, he'll probably be going for another 20 minutes.

Alex Frolov (Looking up from Anna Karenina): Yes, stick must touch puck and make red light.

Patrick O'Sullivan: Alright, let's go before Crawford notices.

Kings Gameday: "Hooray!" and "Boo!"

(Hey, look at me, I'm Rudy and I suck! Just kidding folks - Megalodon here, putting up Rudy's gameday post for Saturday, since he's off somewhere with my Ducks-fan roommate. I'm not quite sure what they're up to, but I'm sure they're both nude by now. Anyways, enjoy Rudy's stupid post!)



Los Angeles Kings (7-8-0, 5th in Pacific) vs. Dallas Stars (7-7-2, 1st in Pacific)


7:30 PST, FSN West

Kings Record in November: 1-1





The Kings are finally playing again after sitting around for a week while the Lakers and Clippers started off their seasons. (How retarded is it that two NBA teams share one arena? That NBA, so dysfunctional....) The good news is that the Kings weren't left in the dust by any Pacific teams while they were idle; they're still within 4 points of the division lead. Since the Kings are almost 20% through their regular season, I thought this would be a good time to kick off a new series of mine, named after the greatest commercials in television history.


Hooray, Young Forwards!

The young guys on the Kings are progressing very nicely. Kopitar seems to have adjusted to teams focusing on him, although he still holds on to the puck too long on the power play. Dustin Brown isn't hitting as much as he did last year, but that's actually a good thing. He's spending more time playing good defense instead. Cammalleri (who is fast becoming my sister's favorite player despite her inability to say his name) has been potting goals at a ridiculous pace, aided by his now-patented "one knee slapshot." (How does anyone tell when he goes to his knee?) Alex Frolov went through the most productive slump in the history of the NHL earlier in the season and has probably been our best forward the last couple games. And Patrick O'Sullivan has been a revelation. How did he go from being a one-dimensional goal scorer to grinding two-way player in one off-season? Also, he said this on Thursday over at Inside the Kings:

"Technically, I should have it on for another week or two,'' O'Sullivan said. "But if we worried about doctors and technicalities then none of us would be playing hockey."


That's pretty badass. Retarded, but badass.

One of them is Lubomir, but I don't know which...

Boo, Top Line Defensemen!

While the young guys have been leading the Kings, the two highest-paid guys on the team haven't exactly been pulling their weight. Both Rob Blake and Lubomir Visnovsky have not been playing good defense this season. Blake looks slower than last year (somehow) and I think it's about time we stop giving him top-line minutes. I still like him on the penalty kill, but the Kings should probably "advise" him to take himself off the first power play unit and replace him with someone, anyone else. Lubo, as much as I hate to say it, hasn't been playing well this season. It seems to me that a memo went out to the rest of the league that you could bump Lubo off the puck if you get to him as soon as he gets it behind the net, and he hasn't adjusted well. I'm giving him a grace period because he looks like a sprite, but the Kings are counting on him if they're going to continue to be .500.




Hooray, Jack Johnson!

"Wow, he looks really good, maybe I underesti-"

Jack Johnson, on the other hand, has been a pleasant surprise. I was expecting him to make a lot of mistakes and take a lot of dumb penalties, but so far he has been fairly reticent to commit either. The Kings have taken to putting him on the penalty kill where I think he's responded quite well. Now is the time to put him on the power play, whether with Lubo or with Tom Preissing. At the same time, though…



Boo, Jack Johnson!

"-ohGoddammit."

…for this hit on Milan Michalek:

(Megalodon's note: At this point in the article, Rudy attached an embedded video of Johnson being an asshole against Milan Michalek. That link didn't work any more, and I can't find any other video of it, so use your imaginations, okay? He can fix it if he wants when he gets back. I've got shit to do - like cursing the Sharks are the guy who invented shoot-outs.)

I'm sorry, but that hit was bullshit. Michalek was held up along the boards by Derek Armstrong, got rid of the puck well before Jack got to him, and then Jack jumped about a foot in the air as he hit Milan. He didn't get his elbow into it, but that's probably more luck than anything else. That's the stupid shit you can't do if you're going to be a top defenseman in the NHL, Jack, if only because the Kings can't afford to have you off the ice. Just because you play like Chris Pronger doesn't mean you have to be a complete piece of shit like him too.

Hooray, Bailey!

Rudy: You know, I think this Bailey character is a really cool cat. He's really the cat's meow. In fact, I'd go even say he's purr-fect.


Meg: Ha... you done?

Rudy: Yeah. Still though, you have to admit that he really does the lion's share of work at Staples.

Meg: (pulls out gun) Seriously, one more cat pun and I am shooting you in the leg.


Rudy: Hey, I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to hurt your pride. I was only kitten. Seeing you so upset really gives me paws.

Meg: Alright, that's better. Wait a minute... (blam!)

Boo, Dennis Miller!


I guess when they decided to name the show "Unfiltered," they meant they weren't going to filter out all the shitty jokes. "Watching that show made me about as comfortable as Philip Fabricius during the Second Defenestration of Prague!"

That's it for this edition of "Hooray!" and "Boo!" The Kings are playing .500 hockey, which is nice. At the same time, I know they can be better. All their good will goes out the window if they play as terrible as both Anaheim and San Jose both did against Dallas. Raitis Ivanans will probably not play after getting hit in the God damned face by a Rob Blake slapshot, so Scott Thornton will be carrying the hammer tonight.


Prediction: Kings win, 2-1. Goals by Johnson and Cammy.

Kings Gameday: Now You Look Like An Irishman

Los Angeles Kings (1-2, T-3 in Pacific) vs. Dallas Stars (1-2, T-14 in Western Conference)

5:30 PST, FSN West & FSNSW

Patrick O’Sullivan took a puck to the face in Saturday’s game. The injury was so severe that he had to have surgery yesterday and will probably have to go in for more in the next few weeks. Still, the guy is a kind of a pussy. When he came back on the ice about 10 minutes after his injury, he was wearing a full face shield. I mean, you might as well just wear a skirt too. Don’t give me that whole “he was playing without being able to breathe out of his mouth” jive either; when Norstrom used to get hit in the face (which was a lot), he just wore a jaw guard. This isn’t basketball, where a star player can hurt his shoulder and get rolled off in a wheelchair while crying, this is hockey. (Dwyane Wade is a bitch, just so you know.) Man up, Patty!

Lousy Irish.

So far the Kings offense has basically been Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, Mike Cammalleri, and shit. The best two guys not on that top line have been Kyle Calder and Patrick O'Sullivan, in my opinion. Frolov has been a disappointment to me. He's seemed a little tentative with the puck, like he was two years ago. The Kings another line to score in order to be effective this year, otherwise teams are just going to concentrate on Kopitar all the time. I think the King’s best option right now is to put Frolov with O’Sullivan and Calder, with Patty playing center. There are three best offensive players right now (besides the top line), so we might as well try to get some sort of secondary scoring. O’Sullivan has been playing great but has been playing on the 4th line a lot, which is inexcusable. Seriously, I have no idea what Marc Crawford is doing. He's like a mad genius without the genius.

The Kings take their unbalanced line-up to Dallas tonight. The Kings were terrible against the Stars last year, losing all 8 games. Let me repeat: the Kings lost all 8 games against the Dallas Stars last year. 5 of those games were basically one-goal affairs; the Kings lost 3-2, 4-3 (SO), 4-3 (OT), 5-3 (Empty Net), and 4-2 (EN). That seems a little strange to me.

I expect the Kings to finish higher than the Stars this year because I can’t see from where they are going to get their scoring. Niklas Hagman? Brendan Morrow? Jussi Jokinen is great in a shootout but not much else, and Mike Modano used to be great but is probably tired from nailing Willa Ford. Their defensive core is very good, with Sergei Zubov (who carried the torch as the league’s most underrated defenseman before Lubo took over) leading the charge while Phillipe Boucher and Matty Norstrom are well-known in Kingdom as solid d-men. And Turco is amazing; I wish he played in the East so he could be run out of town on a rail for being a choker and the Kings could trade Nagy, Preissing, and Scott Thornton for him. Still, they’re getting old and eventually have to crumble. I’ve been calling it for years now and have been wrong time and time again, but I honestly think this is finally the year where it happens. Turco can’t play 70 games every year, can he?

I was going to put up a picture of Mike Modano, but who wants that?

The Stars were better than the Kings last year, but I think they also got a little bit of luck. Hopefully the pendulum swings the other way this year. The Kings have extra motivation to finish higher than the Stars this year since they own the Star’s first round draft pick this year. So Brown, if you want to take a little run at Turco like you did a couple years ago, I’m completely fine with it.

Prediction: 4-3 Kings, with two by Frolov and one apiece by Cammy and Lubo.

The State of the Farm System, Part I

(I decided to write a post about the King's farm system; 1,700 words later, I figured that it'd be better if I split it into two parts. The next one will go up tomorrow. Be sure to check out Earl's post below, which is admittedly far better than mine.)

I know Earl could care less about prospects and all that, but when you’re a Kings fan you have to take what you can get. I know I can be somewhat negative (I think I've earned the right), but I’m very optimistic when it comes to the King’s future. The Kings farm system is in the best shape since, well, ever. There is elite talent at every position and good depth in most locations. As such, the Kings are in a unique position for a team in the draft; they are bad, but they do not really have a need because every position is in fairly good shape. (If I had to pick a position that needed help, it’d be defense, but just because there are 6 spots to fill.) I’m going to take a little jaunt through the Kings’ farm and fill you guys in on some of the highlights.

(Note: This is more of an introductory post for those who are unfamiliar with the Kings' prospect system, so if you check Hockey's Future 30 times a day like I do it might not be that informative.)

Left Wing: Patrick O’Sullivan is the top prospect on this side of the ice. O’Sullivan is a little weird for a left winger since he’s not all that defensively responsible and is known more for his scoring ability. (He’s kind of like Luc Robitaille, if you subtracted Luc’s devilish good looks and added a crazy father.) He had a little trouble adjusting to the NHL game, like many young scorers do, but he seemed to pick it up last year after he moved to the center position. It will be interesting to see if he was more comfortable carrying the puck up ice (like he did after Kopitar was injured) or if he’s just better as a center. If he’s not here, the Kings are pretty weak on the left side.

There are a couple of other prospects worth mentioning, like Scott Parse (if he signs like expected) and Matt Moulson. Parse played for Nebraska-Omaha in the NCAA for three years and was a finalist for the Hobey Baker last season. Parse is not generally rated as an elite prospect, but he just seems like one of those guys whose going to make it while more highly-touted prospects flame out. I have no real proof to back it up; it’s just a hunch. Matt Moulson is another college player who has a legitimate chance to make a difference this next season. He ended up with 57 points in 77 games last year in Manchester. Neither of these guys will be elite difference-makers in the NHL, but they are nice guys to have around because if they pan out, great, and if they don’t, oh well. Finally, Danny Roussin is a former linemate of Sidney Crosby who will probably spend the season at Manchester. He has offensive skill, but it appears likely that he won’t make too much of an impact in the NHL. Shay Stephenson is also there, but he sucks, so let’s just move on.

Either the NCAA uses nets that are 9-feet tall or Scott Parse is kind of short.

Center: Even though he’s no longer a prospect, one has to start any talk of Kings’ centers by mentioning Anze Kopitar. I don’t want to spend too much time on Kopitar, so let me just say that he is awesome and I love him. Behind Kopitar, the Kings have two good prospects that could fill that number 2 center spot in the years to come. First is Brian Boyle, a giant of a man who is not really known for much else. He’s not a great skater and he isn’t known for his offense prowess; he’s just fuckin’ huge. There’s talk the Kings might move him to defense, which would certainly be cool, but I would personally like to see him set up in front of the Ducks’ net, battling with Chris Pronger, and I use a lot of commas. Boyle is definitely a guy to keep on eye on, because he could either fail spectacularly or end up becoming as big an impact as Zdeno Chara.

They should have asked the Michigan goalie to join, just to be nice.

The other top centerman prospect for the Kings is Trevor Lewis, who was chosen last year with the pick the Kings received from Minnesota in the Demitra trade. Lewis played in the OHL with the Owen Sound Attack and did well, scoring over a point a game. He then played a few games with Manchester and tallied 6 points in 8 games. (Small sample size and everything, but it’s a little encouraging.) Both Lewis and Boyle will likely begin the season in Manchester, but do not be surprised if either (or both) end up in LA for at least a little while next season.

I would feel better about Lewis' chances if he didn't look like Ed Norton in "Red Dragon."

After those two, there is a pretty significant drop-off in talent. The next name is probably John Zeiller, who is 26. He might catch on with the Kings as a 4th-liner and made some fans last season with his hitting, but I don’t really like him that much. He doesn’t really have a point and I think the Kings could easily replace him. There’s also Gabe Gauthier, a California native (and from what I’ve heard a really good roller hockey player), but it’s not likely that he’ll ever be more than an answer to a trivia question.



Tomorrow: The Thrilling Conclusion!