Sharks vs Columbus Blue Jackets photos

Only had a few minutes in the third period to take photos, but here are a couple shots from the game. A few more notes and photos from Tuesday night are here.

Sharks All-Time Players: Mike's Take, Part 1

Gee, that subject is kinda grand in a Star Wars: Episode 5, The Empire Strikes Back kind of way.

I'm taking RudyKelly's challenge of coming up with a "Best Of" team (plus, there's not much to talk about right now and my own blog and business are waiting for server repair). I'm doing something slightly different, mostly because so many Sharks players have had up-and-down seasons, so I'm going to pick a single season to represent each player.

Also, you'll notice that the centers and right wings far outweigh the left wings. There really haven't been too many spectacular left wings in Sharks history (Ray Whitney became a great player after the Sharks dumped him). Perhaps Milan Michalek can change that some day.

1st Line:
C-Joe Thornton 05-06
MVP, league's leading scorer, and catalyst for turning a stuck-in-neutral San Jose Sharks into a league powerhouse, Joe Thornton will probably go down in history as one of, if not the most talented forward in Sharks history. From day one, Thornton was an absolute monster, and his first season in teal provided so many memorable "holy crap" moments -- from his booming slapshot off the post in his first shift in Buffalo to his total undressing of Washington's defense and Olaf Kolzig -- that the memory of Marco Sturm, Brad Stuart, and Wayne Primeau faded pretty darn fast.

RW-Jonathan Cheechoo 05-06
In 2005-06, you couldn't tab Thornton without mentioning Cheechoo. As Thornton's triggerman, a fully healthy Cheechoo (something that hasn't happened much over the past two seasons) fired off so many spot-on one-timers fed from Thornton that an early goal had you thinking, "Maybe he'll get another hat trick." But Cheechoo wasn't a one-trick pony that year; while groin issues have prevented Cheechoo from being able to be as scrappy as he could be, a good chunk of his goals in 05-06 came from being persistent all around the net for rebounds, second chances, and "hit it till the damn thing goes in" goals.

LW-Jeff Friesen 97-98
Ten years ago, Friesen was the projected franchise and future captain; seemingly on the upswing, Friesen broke 30 goals for the only time in his career. In that season, Friesen used his speed, hands, and wrist shot to become the Sharks' most dangerous weapon. He'll never recapture that, but we'll always have our memories of #39 speeding down the wing past opposing defenders.

By the way, did you hear Freeze is back in San Jose on a tryout?

2nd Line:
C-Patrick Marleau 05-06
While Marleau became captain and the go-to guy in 03-04, it wasn't until after the lockout when Marleau put it all together. Before the Thornton trade, Marleau was seemingly the only Sharks player that was effective that season; after the Thornton trade, Marleau became even more deadly with defensive pressure split between the two centers. while Thornton had Cheechoo on his wing, Marleau wound up with rookies Milan Michalek and Steve Bernier -- and even then, he propelled them to one of the best lines in the Western Conference that season.

RW-Owen Nolan 99-00
By the time 2000 rolled around, Owen Nolan was a legitimate Hart Trophy candidate. While ultimately potting 44 goals, Nolan was a force in all aspects -- special teams, hitting hard along the boards, and scoring goals through sheer force of will. That year, Nolan finished fifth in Hart Trophy voting and solidified Darryl Sutter's hunch in making him the captain.

LW-Milan Michalek 06-07
Michalek's sophomore campaign had him working up to star-player status, notching 26 goals and 40 assists, mostly on a line with Joe Thornton. This, much more so than in his rookie year, showed Sharks fans how devastating Michalek's speed could be. In fact, even on a team with Patrick Marleau, Michalek's bursts up the wing made him appear to be the fastest player on the team.

To be continued... (though PJ and Cheechew are welcome to make up their own list).

The San Jose Sharks Have the Worst Fans in Hockey

Couldn't they just give San Jose the loss and save everyone some time?

Right? Remember when they were winning at home all the time and everyone was saying how great their fans were? I do. I couldn’t go 5 feet without listening to some San Joseer bragging about how great they were and how San Jose fans are more cultured and understood how to support their team better than the fans in Los Angeles and Anaheim. Now that they have fewest wins at home in the NHL (along with 3 losses to the Kings there this season), that means that their fans suck now, right? I mean, it’s not like you can take credit when your team wins and then blame them when they lose, right? That would be crazy and illogical.* Tough break, San Jose.

***

How badass is Jason Labarbera? Lost in the Kings’ woes the past two weeks has been the stellar play of… Labs? Labby? This guy needs a good nickname. I prefer “Nolte,” after his profile shot, but that’s just me. I mean, the guy’s sporting stats like 2.49 GAA and a .917 SV%, and it’s not because of the Kings’ defensive play or anything like that. The craziest thing is that he’s posting those stats and still has a sub-.500 record. If I told you at the beginning of the season that the Kings would get good goaltending and still lose, what would you have said? Well, you probably would have called me gay, because you’re a dick. Fuck you man, I don’t even know why I hang out with you sometimes.

Nice game Jas- oh, I'm sorry sir, I thought you were someone else.

***

What do you guys think of Michal Handzus? I think he’s kinda getting dicked over. Sure, he hasn’t played great so far (although I think he’s picked up his game of late), but I saw that the guys on Versus said he was the biggest free-agent bust of the year so far. The guy is coming off major knee surgery and hadn’t played in a year! There are two injuries I accept in hockey: injuries to your knee and your head. I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be to walk confidently after wrecking your knee, let alone skate. I know he’s getting paid $4 million this year and that’s probably too much, but I’ll give him this year to get back into shape. If he’s leading team in penalty minutes this time next year then I’ll be first in line to flagellate the son of a bitch. (No, FLAGELLATE. Look it up and get your mind out of the gutter.)

***

I don’t really have any hard evidence to back this up or anything, but I’m convinced that Milan Michalek did vile things to Jack Johnson’s mother some time in the past. That’s the only way to explain Jack’s actions every time we play the Sharks. He tried to kill Michalek two weeks ago by jumping at his head, and last night he gave Michalek the mother of all face washings because Michalek… stood there? It’s nice to see Jack play with a little bit of an edge, but why is it only against Milan?

*My craaazy friend Megalodon thinks the Sharks aren’t playing well at home because they’re young and nervous to play in front of the home crowd. Sure why not.

The Problem with the San Jose Sharks

The Shark's inability to win in the playoffs is one of the more hilarious storylines in the NHL recently, and I think I've figured out the cause: they're all nerds. Without Scott Parker, there's not one single Shark that is a legitimate hockey player stereotype. (Well, Jeremy Roenick, but he's all the bad ones.) Let's go through the worst offenders:

"What's that? No, I like my hair like this. Hello?"

Joe Thornton: Joe Thornton has been the face of the team ever since he was acquired in 2005, which is appropriate because he seems like a huge goober. I'm not saying I wouldn't want to hang out with him (I totally would), it's just that he's a rube. I've seen him in 3 commercials so far: he's eating in 2 of them (the one where he keeps fucking up toast preparation is hilarious) and he's asking another man if his butt looks big in the other. Obviously, he's no Mark Messier. Well, he's probably the Mark Messier that cries all the time, but not the one that guarantees wins and then scores a hat trick and then has sex with your mother and all you can do is applaud his form. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Joe Thornton has an unhealthy body image.

Ayy!*

Patrick Marleau: I don't think Patrick Marleau knows how to talk. If someone told me he carried around a trumpet like the protagonist of The Trumpet of the Swan I wouldn't be surprised. Look at him, he looks like he's about to fall over at any moment. Plus, I have it on good authority that he once went to Water Park with two other Sharks when he was 25. I can't think of a single good reason for an adult male to go to a water park that doesn't end with an arrest for child abuse.

Ron Wilson: Ron Wilson wore a golf shirt the day before the Sharks played in a must-win game in last year's playoffs. That may not be bad, but it sure as hell isn't good.

Seriously, don't call me Doug!

Dog Murray (from Sweden): Dog Murray is awesome, but this interview kind of makes him look like a Mary. Seriously, who wants to go by Douglas? "Doug" is a pretty solid hockey name; "Douglas" is a 35 year-old 3rd grade teacher who still takes his laundry home to his mother. I don’t care if it sounds like "Dog" when they say it back in Sweden, my grandfather didn't lose his arm fighting those sons of bitches in the Crimean War so that they could mangle the English language. I swear, some of y'all people just ain't got no gadnum sense.

Milan Michalek: Milan?

Hello my name is Marcel would you like to play SOCOM?

Marcel Goc: The fact that he's named after a mime is bad enough, but Goc's real crime is his blog over at sjsharks.com. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore it, but if you read between the lines you realize that he's definitely a loser. For example (read these with a German accent for added hilarity):

My roommate is Christian Ehrhoff and he's an O.K. roommate. Really, he's great. He's quiet like me and we both like to read books and watch movies.

Today Mike Grier and I finished the USA Today crossword puzzle, so we were pretty excited. I do most of the writing and he figures out most of the words.

We Usually play PSP on the flights…. SOCOM is the game we play…. Wes Howard, our assistant trainer, isn't very good either because he just hides in the game.

(About the earthquake) I called my family and let them know we were o.k., but they hadn’t heard about it yet. My dad told me over there around 1970, they had an earthquake and he looked out a window to see a tower swaying.

We had Tuesday off because of the trip, but I didn’t do much. I got to my house about 3 a.m. after we flew in from Dallas and got up at 9:30 a.m. I came to the rink for a little bit, but just went home.

As Meg pointed out, that last one is kind of devastating if you think about it. Can't you imagine him sitting around at home, nothing to do, and then going to the rink and just kind of wandering around, looking for someone to talk to, then sighing and going home and sitting on his couch some more? Poor little guy. Still, nerd.

So there, that's the problem with the Sharks: they're nerds! I guess when you consider the region the Sharks play in, it all makes sense. San Jose is overrun with nerds, so what better way to attract them to your game than by featuring dorks?

*This picture is why I could not be an NHL GM, because I would absolutely refuse to draft someone who looked like that. He looks like he just told his doubles partner a delightful zinger about his butler's inability to make a proper martini. "And I said, 'Jeeves, if I invested as well as you made a drink, I'd be penniless!'"

Re-designing jerseys: the new expansion?

I'm not sure how everyone else feels about the Reebokification of hockey sweaters, but as a fan who's team underwent a jersey and logo re-design just a summer ago, I'll say that I'm pretty disillusioned about the development. Not only does it seem to be a meaningless move in terms of improving the on-ice product, but it stinks pretty much of a cash grab.

I'm calling it "the new expansion" because the revenue ramifications worry me: owners obviously like re-designs because it's a pretty easy way to make a cheap buck, forcing their fans to buy into a new look. And sure, there's nothing wrong with doing that once in a while. But I don't really trust the NHL to treat these one-time revenue streams appropriately. Before the lockout, expansion fees were another one-time revenue source that really escalated the league's spending appetite, but once that revenue stream dried up, all that remained was an unsustainable salary structure. Nowadays, with salaries linked to revenues, the dangers are different, but I worry about contract commitments made after a year with artificially high revenues (under an artificially high salary cap).

From an Anaheim fan's perspective, I'm getting sick of these re-inventions. Three seasons ago the team wore white Mighty Duck jerseys at home. Two seasons ago they switched to dark-at-home and introduced a 3rd jersey. Last season the team re-designed its team name and logo for a brand-new look, and next season it will convert to Reebok-style fitted jerseys. While I'm sure that each year's sweater development has earned the franchise tons of money, I think the market is shrinking for jerseys with a one-year shelf life. Be warned, NHL. You may have found a nice trick to scrape together some quick cash, but like expansion fees, I don't think the boost is sustainable. If and when it loses its steam, I really hope you're not planning on making up the revenue on already-high ticket prices.

Readers: If you are curious about these new uniform developments (and yeah, it is still kind of exciting), check out NHL Tournament of Logos, who's doing a great job of keeping track of all the league's changes.

Meanwhile, in other BoC news:

• Since Mike Chen is knee-deep in wedding preparations (congrats, btw!), I'll go ahead and give a BoC shoutout to a new Sharks blog that started this summer, Bleed Teal, run by Sharks fan Gautham Ganesan. I've linked to his story on the latest re-signing by Doug Wilson: a 6-year, $26 million extension for winger Milan Michalek. Though the Sharks have been quiet this summer when it comes to player addition, they have done a great job preparing for the future with extensions for Thornton and Michalek, and promise to be a scary team for the next several years.


• The ever-industrious James Mirtle has listed out the early standings projections of two major summer publications: McKeen's and The Hockey News. McKeen's has the Pacific Division as follows: Dallas (3rd), Anaheim (t-4th), San Jose (6th), Los Angeles (9th), and Phoenix (15th), while THN has it as: Anaheim (2nd), San Jose (4th), Dallas (11th), Los Angeles (12th), and Phoenix (15th). Feel free to spit on these Pacific projections in the comments, if you wish.


• Meanwhile, Steph at No Pun Intended has taken an enormous step for a Red Wings fan—admitting her admiration for a Duck. Actually, it's known as BryzgaLove, and its obvious target is the Anaheim backup-for-now, crazy Russian Ilya Bryzgalov (His best asset from a Wing fan's perspective? He's not Giguere). She has a great recap of Breezy's day with the cup (including his kick-ass shirt-of-many-colors), and is trying to find photo evidence of his allegedly-awesome Buccaneer costume, if anyone can help with that.

Sharks in review: Part 1

Before the madness of the WCF tonight (stupid stupid freakin' Oilers), it's time to hand out the grades for the Sharks' players, coaches, and management. Today's installment -- the top two lines:

Forwards
Joe Thornton: It's hard to argue with winning the Art Ross, being one of your team's top penalty killers, and sparking the Richard winner. Even though Joe didn't put up the points in the playoffs, he had a great first round by drawing a ton of penalties and creating a lot of plays. His point totals against Edmonton were roughly the same, but his play had been diminished as Chris Pronger did what the Predators couldn't. Regular Season: A+. Playoffs: B-.

Jonathon Cheechoo: We knew Cheech was good, but Rocket Richard good? Cheech turned into a combination of Brett Hull and John LeClair -- disappearing into shooting positions and firing away one-timers like Hull and mucking around the crease for goals like LeClair. However, passing lanes were taken away from him in the playoffs, and if you can't get the puck to him, he can't shoot. Regular Season: A-. Playoffs: C-.

Nils Ekman: Is there another NHL player that goes offsides as much as Ekman? From the doghouse (4th line/scratched) to the penthouse (Thornton/Cheechoo) and back, Ekman's lack of intensity has been frustrating since he has so much talent. If someone could do a heart transplant on Ekman, he may be a 40-goal scorer. Regular Season: C-. Playoffs: D.

Patrick Marleau: Before the Thornton trade, Marleau was the only consistent player on the Sharks. Sandwiched between rookies and journeymen (hello and goodbye Niko Dimitrakos and Grant Stevenson) for the entire season, Marleau started finding some chemistry with Milan Michalek in January and the pair really clicked when Steve Bernier returned. Against Edmonton, their line was smoking until Michalek's injury knocked things out of whack. Regular Season: A. Playoffs: B.

Milan Michalek: After an atrociously slow start, Michalek finally found his groove with Patrick Marleau and Steve Bernier. The biggest success of this season was the fact that Michalek's knee held up as he rounded into form. Next season, look for his confidence and strength to go up; as he does that, 30 goals/60 points should be a reasonable expectation. Regular Season: B-. Playoffs: B.

Steve Bernier: Bernier's first half of the season was actually worse than Michalek's simply because he didn't even make the big squad back in September. After being called back up, Bernier found a home with Patrick Marleau and Milan Michalek. For once, a Sharks rookie was actually being noticed by the Canadian media. Like his linemates, Bernier had a great series against Nashville and was going strong until the Michalek injury derailed things. Regular Season: B. Playoffs: B.