Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Showing posts with label George Parros. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Parros. Show all posts

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Outsourcing: Cartoons from Sweden

If you recall, this past summer BoC had a brief series called Letters from Switzerland from our generous friend Markus (will it continue? only Markus knows for sure), where we received some overseas updates about some former NHLers. In that same spirit, I present a guest submission from reader Kyle J., a guy I can only assume hails from Sweden (to be completely honest, I'm not sure about this, but based on a few phrases of broken English I've corrected, I'm comfortable being presumptuous). Well, I'm never a guy to turn away free artwork, especially if it's potentially from Sweden!

I am, however, a guy who (for better or worse) will regularly publish e-mails I get.

Dear Earl Sleek.

I have been wanting to find a way to mix my passion for graphic arts and hockey together for a long time. I have finally figured out how. A Graphic Novel of Hockey(Comic book). However I would like to showcase them where people could see them. And reading your blog since the Season We Won the Cup I know that many people in fact read your blog. I have really enjoyed your cartoons. If you wouldn't mind letting me post these on BOC I would very much enjoy some feedback so I could start up on my own or possibly work together on some.

Thanks

BOC Reader of you and Rudy,
Ducks Fan and Hockey enthusiast,
and Fellow Artista,
Kyle J.
Just take a look at the awesomeness below, inspired by last week's Ducks win against the Toronto Maple Leafs (featuring an ill-advised goaltender switch by Ron Wilson for the shootout):


Quite literally the best artwork this blog has ever seen.
(Click image to enlarge.)

I don't even know where to start. The Terminator version of Nik Antropov is killer, the classic Ron Wilson media staredown is spot-on, and I want to run and hide from that George Parros glare. Basically, Kyle, I give this a hearty standing ovation. Outstanding.

One of my side goals here at BoC is to semi-legitimize the notion of internet cartooning, even though I'm pretty much just a hack. Well, fellow hacks, the bar may have just been raised, and I'm pretty excited to see that. Plus, now with Switzerland and Sweden on the BoC contribution list, I can't wait to see what our German or Finnish readers will do to top this.

[1:15 pm edit -- Oh boy did I blow this one. I've now been informed that Kyle J. is from Southern California, not Sweden. Well, this won't be the last fact-checking error that Sleek will ever make, but it is a doozy. Also, a new version of the picture was submitted with "Foliage" instead of "Foilage". Sorry for the mix-up, KJ.]

Go Ducks.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Ducks-Sharks opening night photos









I was in the basement for most of the second and third period, but here are a couple photos of the Sharks 4-1 win over the Anaheim Ducks on opening night. If you want to try out the new NHL Gamecenter this weekend, all of the games broadcast during the NHL's opening weekend are free.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

George Parros fight collection 2007-08



Courtesy of the fine people at ducks-hockey.com, here is a video collection of 19 George Parros fights from the 2007-08 season. A little pre-game reseach prior to Thursday's ANA-SJ home opener.

Parros vs. Thornton 9/30/07
Parros vs. Boogaard 10/14/07
Parros vs. Fedoruk 10/20/07
Parros vs. King 10/23/07
Peters vs. Parros 12/05/07
Peters vs. Parros -Round 2- 12/05/07
Parros vs. Koci 12/07/07
Parros vs. Shelley 12/10/07
Parros vs. Davison 12/18/07
Parker vs. Parros 12/19/07
Belak vs. Parros 1/9/08
Parros vs. Ivanans 1/24/08
Parros vs. King 2/1/08
Parros vs. Cote 2/2/08
Parros vs. Orr 2/7/08
Parros vs. Downey 2/10/08
Godard vs. Parros 2/17/08
King vs. Parros 2/22/08
Parros vs. Shelley 3/21/08

Monday, September 22, 2008

Anaheim's All-Time Team: Protect the Superstars


To help save the planet, I am re-using an image from Christmas 2006.

I know I've lost some momentum on this Anaheim Sometimes-Mighty Ducks of Anaheim project, but I'm down to my last spot to fill. I've got the rest of the roster penciled together for an unveiling next week, though it's still not too late to convince me on your votes in for:
  • #1 Center: Rucchin, Oates, Fedorov, McDonald, or Getzlaf.


  • #5 and #6 Defensemen: Two of Dollas, Karpa, Mironov, Salei, Havelid, Vishnevski, Carney, Ozolinsh, Beauchemin, O'Donnell, or Schneider.


  • Backup Goaltender: Hebert, Shtalenkov, Gerber, Bryzgalov, or Hiller.
Today we fill my last open spot: Enforcer.

Throughout its franchise history, Anaheim has relied on an element of pure muscle, for a few reasons: to compensate for its sissy team name, to draw more lackluster fans in SoCal, and for traditional on-ice reasons (protecting and generating space for superstars). I don't suppose that reserving a slot for an enforcer makes Anaheim's All-Time team necessarily better on paper, but I think it does do a service to all those punch-monkeys who have stood up for the Ducks over the years. Also, my all-time team (penciled-in version) is looking quite soft thus far; I can probably count the career fighting majors among my forwards on one hand.

In terms of the skillset I'm looking for, it's pretty simple: Popularity, Fighting Ability, and Regular Shifts (in that order of importance). I've put together a list of twelve candidates which is by no means exhaustive (feel free to write in anyone I've missed), sorted by penalty minutes per game. I won't profile these guys (frankly, I don't remember them all), but this list should help jog Ducks fans' memories.

Player

ANA yrsGPPIMPIM/gm

Garrett Burnett

2003-04

39

184

4.72

Todd Ewen

1993-94 to 1995-96

153

650

4.25

Kevin Sawyer

2000-01 to 2002-03

97

363

3.74

Brent Severyn

1997-98

37

133

3.59

Warren Rychel

1996-97 to 1997-98

133

416

3.13

Ken Baumgartner

1995-96 to 1996-97

79

223

2.82

George Parros

2006-07 to current

101

285

2.82

Stu Grimson

1993-94 to 1994-95,
1998-99 to 1999-00

231

583

2.52

Todd Fedoruk

2005-06 to 2006-07

86

210

2.44

Denny Lambert

1994-95 to 1995-96,
2001-02

119

272

2.29

Jim Cummins

2000-01 to 2001-02

81

167

2.06

Shawn Thornton

2006-07

48

88

1.83


Questions to consider: Who on this list was most likely to get fans on their feet? Who on this list would be scariest to fight against? Who on this list showed the best hockey sense aside from fighting? And then the real question: All that considered, who deserves the Enforcer spot on the Anaheim Sometimes-Mighty Ducks of Anaheim? Whether you're a Ducks fan or not, I'll take your votes and justifications in the comments.

Go Ducks.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Inaugural Battle of California 2007-08 photo contest



Save for one entry from 2007, vote for your favorite photo on Battle of California this season. There is Marc Edouard Vlasic giving George Parros flying lessons, Craig Rivet pounding Ryan Carter into jiblets part 1 and 2 (do Ducks have giblets?), and Dustin Penner meets ice-ice wins. Unfortunately 2007-08 was a relatively Pronger-Perry free photographic output.



Bonus Photo - Parker vs Parros 2007.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Being Awesome is Difficult Work

It's not easy being George Parros. You have to fight people, for one thing, and that's never easy. There's the moustache upkeep and the long hair that you have to cut every year for charity, plus all the tax services he undoubtedly does for his teammates. Finally, he has to constantly work so that his act doesn't get stale. So what do you do to keep your name (and legend) from fading into obscurity? Well, you do stuff like go to a Newport Beach tattoo parlor in a tiny girl's shirt.

It's the little things that make George Parros so great.

Also, what does you think Perry got tattooed on his side? I'm thinking one of three things:

1) Wild Wing
2) Ryan Getzlaf's face
3) Half-completed dick (had to stop because it hurt too much)


Update:
Puck Daddy has more.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Inside the NHL video feature with Anze Kopitar



Inside the NHL's Dan Moriarty chats with Anze Kopitar earlier this season prior to a game with the San Jose Sharks. Not a huge amount of substance, but Anze does talk about having enforcer George Parros as a landlord. Video via NHL Network Online.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Kings Gameday: The Golden Age of Enforcers?

(Busy day here at BoC, so make sure you check out Earl's gameday post below. It's got analysis, or some shit like that. Whatever, analysts say you can't drink at 9 in the morning, so what do they know?)

Los Angeles Kings (11-16-2) vs. Vancouver Canucks (16-10-3)

7:30 PST, FSN West

Yeah, yeah, the Kings can’t beat Phoenix, whatever. I haven’t been worrying about it too much; instead, I’ve been considering that we might be living in the Golden Age of enforcers in the Pacific division. Every team has someone awesome who can fight, and each guy has a little something about him that makes him significantly cooler than the average hockey player. Look:

I think Parros is making that kid uncomfortable. Look how he's leaning away.

George Parros, Anaheim Ducks. The legacy of this guy is overblown, but there’s a reason people liked him in the first place. Moustache. Princeton degree. Long, wild hair. Comically bad balance. Likes Night Ranger, which is kind of like an even gayer version of Nelson. It’s kinda bandwagon now, but George Parros is still a pretty awesome guy.


Don't bite his face, Raitis! Bad Raitis!

Raitis Ivanans, Los Angeles Kings. Raitis Ivanans took a Rob Blake slap shot to the face and did not get knocked out. He didn’t even fall down. He’s like Colossus if Colossus couldn’t turn into metal. I’d be afraid to talk to him, lest I somehow offend him and wake up trying to pick my teeth out of my crap. He can’t fight right now, but don’t worry, he’s making notes. He’ll be back.

"Did you hit his knees? You mother fucker!"

Douglas Fucking Murray, San Jose Sharks. I’ve been a fan of Dog Murray before he realized he needed to fight for his food, but he’s taken his awesomeness to a whole new level. Douglas Fucking Murray (as Meg pointed out, that sounds like two guys are having sex) owns a company, is Swedish, has a cool nickname (“Crankshaft”), and is unique because he doesn’t go around looking for fights. Dog Murray generally fights when one of his teammates has been wronged, usually when someone goes after their knees (Dog Murray HATES it when people go after knees). He’s a noble guy, and I dig that.


I'm half-expecting him to pull out a gun any second.

Danny Carcillo, Phoenix Coyotes. I don’t know much about this guy, other than he’s smaller than anyone else on this list and that he’s a fucking lunatic. Seriously, I’ve watched Sean Avery, and this guy makes Sean Avery look like Jari Kurri. He belongs on the plane in Con Air, not on the ice. He may never fight any of the other big boys on this list, but I imagine he would in a heartbeat. Get this man some therapy.

The Rifle, unloading on a Red Wing.

Brad Winchester, Dallas Stars. I almost didn’t put this guy on the list since he’s not really as cool as the other guys, but I needed him to finish the list. Plus, his name is Brad Winchester. I can’t hear his name without blurting out, “Awesome!” Winchester. That’s his last name. Even better, his nickname is “The Rifle.” I would give either nut for the opportunity to be nicknamed “The Rifle.” He could be a florist and I bet he’d be the baddest assed florist in the world. Work with blood orchids, or something.


So yeah, we're doin' pretty well in terms of enforcers. Who would you guys want on your team?

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Goals by... I don't know, these things don't matter anyway. Sammy Pahlsson, with all 7 goals.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Season (P)Review: Raitis Ivanans

Like most Kings fans, I was pretty bummed when George Parros lost his job to Raitis Ivanans last year. I had grown to love our Princeton pugilist over the previous season in spite of his ineptitude and lack of balance and I doubted some Latvian could possibly replace him. I soon forgot all about Parros, though, when I saw this picture:


Dear God, is that his bicep???


I grew to appreciate Ivanans’ “skills” more and more as the season went on, and I am ultimately glad Parros is gone. There are 3 main reasons I think Ivanans is better than Parros:

1) Ivanans is a better fighter. Parros falls too much. I think that’s something everyone can agree on. Every Parros fight you’ll see will go as follows: Parros throws the other guy around, misses a punch and then falls down. Ivanans, on the other hand, is incredibly strong on his skates. (I think it’s because he’s 6’3” and weighs like 600 pounds.) The two fought once last season; it would have been a good fight, but Parros kept falling down. He’s like a grizzly bear trying to play hockey out there.

2) Ivanans is better at the sport of hockey. Of course, that’s like saying that he’s better looking than a platypus; well, yeah, everyone is. Parros trying to play hockey is one of the more ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. Last year, Parros had 1 goal in 32 games, and I’m pretty sure he was trying to punch someone at the time. Shouldn’t you accidentally get an assist in 32 games? I mean, he got outscored by J.S. Giguere! Ivanans is not a good hockey player, but he isn’t that slow and he can do some damage in front of the net. He had 8 points in 64 games; not good, but better than Parros.


You look ridiculous.


3) Ivanans is scarier. Parros is awesome, but I don’t think anyone is afraid of him. (Well, I guess Chaetophobics would be.) He’s an Ivy League grad with a ridiculous moustache; he’s not scary, he’s a foil from Revenge of the Nerds. Raitis Ivanans is from Latvia, and if my American education has taught me anything, it’s that people from Latvia are bloodthirsty monsters. The guy probably ate shoes growing up, you think he’s above gouging an eye? Look into his eyes when he’s out on the ice. I did once and I found out how I was going to die. (I now avoid the proctologist at all costs. I’m not really comfortable talking about it, actually.)

Ivanans, spotting a particularly tasty shoe.


Ivanans will probably play a little less than he did last year, but I still see him getting about 40 games and a bushel of penalty minutes. He and Scott Thornton are our only real fighting threats out there now and they’re going to have to protect the Kings’ best players from the barbarian horde over there in Anaheim. Parros is cool, but he’s ultimately just a gimmick; I’m happy with our enforcer.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ducks Gameday: Armageddon!

(Hey guys. Earl’s out doing something less important than playoff hockey, so I’m covering for him. Now, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but for the sake of the site I’m going to try and be a Ducks fan. I’ll try not to use any big words.)

Derek Boogaard is probably the scariest man in the NHL. I get the same feeling watching him that I used to get whenever the general in Willow with the skull helmet came on the screen when I was a kid. He destroyed the Ducks last game; it was like that scene in Lord of the Rings when the cave troll shows up. (Wow, Willow and Lord of the Rings? I'm quite the catch!) He played game 4 with a rage that I’d never seen before, a rage that has definitely not subsided after Brad May’s sucker punch. May was “suspended” (I think of it more as a stay of execution), but I imagine that Boogaard will be ready to kill someone (if I were Ryan Getzlaf, I’d develop a cold real quick). There’s only one guy on the Ducks who can possibly stand up to Boogaard and match his size: George Parros.


Hey, George is going to win- ohgoddammit.

I love George Parros (6-6-6 in fights this year according to hockeyfights.com), but I’ve never really considered him a great fighter. He loses his balance too much and lets guys much smaller than him throw him around. Boogaard’s (8-2) main strategy is to get a guy off balance to where they can’t defend themselves and then pummel them. He’s already broken the face of one Duck this season and I doubt that Boogaard has respect for Parros.



This is a match-up that could really determine Parros’ place in the NHL. Sure, he beats on guys like Darcy Hordichuk and Cam Janssen, but Parros is not yet in the class of Donald Brashear, George Laraque, or Boogard. This game could change all that. To win, however, George is giong to have to fight angry. He needs the match Boogaard's insanity and really let loose. Can he do it? I don't know. We all love Parros, but eventually he is going to have to start winning bouts against guys his own size if he wants to take his place as one of the elite fighters in the NHL.


I don’t know if Parros and Boogaard are actually going to fight tonight; hell, Parros might not even play. I do know that they need to fight, for the sake of their teams. If they fight, I’m expecting nothing less than complete mayhem. I'm talking a building-collapsing, teeth-gnashing, horrifying type of fight. The kind of fight that you initially find awesome, but then realize halfway through that these two men are trying to kill each other. And then it's really, really awesome.


The Wild are desperate and angry after the May punch; the Ducks are in danger of losing the physical advantage they’ve spent all season establishing. Let’s go George; prove you deserve a place in the NHL.


Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Fist-mas!



Merry Fist-mas to all, and to all a good fight!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Moustached! The Parros-Perry Effect

You know, I’m starting to come around to George Parros (awesome graphic to the left stolen from HF Boards). Not in the sense that Moustache is doing anything well on the ice, but gosh, that pornstache is a pretty cool calling card. Plus, it's tough to be that critical when the team's winning like crazy.

Still, I am worried: through 13 games Moustache has pretty much stopped production on the Corey Perry-Ryan Getzlaf line, which Vic Ferrari notes play the softest minutes in the league (actually, he is referencing a metric at the new Behind the Net stats site, which to my eye looks excellent). This type of matchup is really sort of unfair, of course; Getzlaf and Perry are way too talented for third-string defenders, and their early production numbers show it.

But that was then and this is now. Now, instead of teaming up with a fighter-who-can-play, Perry and Getzlaf get to carry around a moustache-who-cannot. This was even more evident this week when Perry scored three points against FLA—on the one day Moustache was scratched.

Here’s some even-strength statistics for Perry, separating out the time he spent playing with and without Parros Nation. I focus on Perry here because Getzlaf’s slump has been less noticeable—he too has stopped producing in Parros minutes, but he steals time and points on other lines. Note also that the "No Moustache" minutes generally means playing with Fedoruk or Thornton instead of Parros (not Selanne or anything).

Perry's Situation

MinutesPointsPlusMinusPts/hr+/- /hr

No Moustache

214

4-4-8

+15

-8

2.24

1.96

Moustache

50

1-0-1

+1

-1

1.19

0.00

Basically, without Parros Corey Perry is able to produce even-strength goals at a rate similar to Andy McDonald (2.5 pts/hr and 1.6 +/- /hr). With Parros? Not so much.

Oh, and see that one Perry goal that Moustache was on the ice for? Parros was never within one zone of the puck on that play.


Who needs goals with facial growth like this?

This is not to say that Parros serves no purpose; he will fight the big boys and allows Perry to be a snarky lad in the offensive zone. And with Parros canceling out the other team’s heavyweight, that allows middleweights like Thornton, Moen, and O’Brien to fight opponents more down in their weight class; Thornton and Moen definitely kicked some ass in Washington once Brashear was out of the way. Putting Parros in the lineup definitely comes at a cost, however, as Anaheim is now getting zero production from the easiest minutes in the game.

For reference, Todd Fedoruk in 75 minutes had 3 assists and was a +2. Shawn Thornton got 58 minutes in his first call-up, and had 2 assists and was a +5. If Parros could just find it within his moustached-heart to just not be useless, then maybe we can have the best of both worlds, just like before—production and protection.

You can do it, Moustache! Be useful!

(For more hard-hitting Ducks analysis, be sure to check out Tapeleg's take at JAHL.)

Monday, November 27, 2006

Ducks Pre-Game Day: Countdown to the Oil

Tomorrow: Anaheim Ducks (17-2-6, 1st in west) at Edmonton Oilers (13-8-1, 6th in west)

Oh, so many things to talk about! In honor of ol' #8’s 500th goal and 600th point as a Duck, here’s 8 storylines leading into tomorrow’s game:

1. Return of the Orbs. Really, this ProngeRage is probably the most overblown part of the whole deal, but what can I do? This date has been circled on so many Edmonton calendars that you’d think Rexall was doing a PS3 giveaway. I’ve said it before; there’s plenty of room for Oilfan sympathy, but let’s not pretend they’re the only team to lose their star player days after a painful SCF G7 loss.

2. 1,000 game club. I suppose of lesser importance will be that this game will also be Scott Niedermayer’s 1,000th career regular-season game. It’ll be interesting to see how the Oil faithful will handle that announcement; will they bother to ‘boo’ or is that all being saved for Pronger? Teemu Selanne (984), by the way, is scheduled to have his 1,000th game (health-permitting) in about a month, while Travis Green (941) will likely never get there if he doesn’t start improving on his 2-appearances-in-25-games role.

3. Schedule getting tougher. I really do have to talk about strength-of-schedule when it comes to the Ducks’ success thus far. Anaheim has played 17 of its 25 games at Honda Center, and tomorrow begins a stretch of 13 of 17 on the road. From last year’s playoff teams, the Ducks have not yet this season traveled to the following cities (home record in parentheses): Detroit (6-1-3), Dallas (8-2-0), Nashville (6-1-2), San Jose (9-2-0), or Edmonton (10-2-0), so there are still a fair amount of questions to be answered about how good these Ducks really are. And the two times the Ducks have played a previous-year playoff team on the road? They got shutout in Calgary and lost a shootout in Colorado.

4. Goaltending secrecy. The Ducks do like keeping goaltending injuries a Pentagon-level secret, like last year when, out of the blue, J.S. Giguere was unavailable for the first game of the playoffs. Similar story last night, when instead of our usual Giguere-Bryzgalov tandem, the Ducks started Michael Wall (AHL), backed up by David McKee (ECHL). Per today’s L.A. Times, Giguere says he is “99 percent sure” he is starting tomorrow, but who really knows? If McKee ever gets the nod, by the way, he will join Andy McDonald, Chris Kunitz, Dustin Penner, and Ryan Shannon as Duck players this year who were never drafted, but instead signed with the team as UFAs. (Side note: apparently Nashville claimed Michael Leighton from the Ducks off waivers also, and Anaheim will be paying half his salary. Sweet.)

5. Moustache watch. George Parros, after a crummy start, has looked a lot better in the last 4 games he’s played in. He still has yet to be on the ice for an Anaheim goal-for, but at least he’s not surrendering goals and when he does fight, he’s done it well enough. Still room for improvement, though, as both Todd Fedoruk and Shawn Thornton were able to produce at even-strength as well as fight. Parros has yet to be even close to useful in a game in which he does not fight.

6. Anaheim Norris race. It’s astounding to me how much Duck message-boarders seem to be stuck on the notion that Scott Niedermayer has been this team’s MVP thus far, when the Pronger-comparison numbers really aren’t that close (well, except power-play production, since they share so many minutes there). Here’s some key stats:

Even-Strength:
CP: 435 minutes, 2-11-13, EV+ 29, EV- 14
SN: 404 minutes, 3-8-11, EV+ 19, EV- 14

Power-play:
CP: 156 minutes, 2-11-13, PP+ 22, PP- 0
SN: 154 minutes, 2-8-10, PP+ 20, PP- 0

Penalty-kill:
CP: 96 minutes, 0-0-0, PK+ 1, PK- 8
SN: 85 minutes, 0-0-0, PK+ 0, PK- 12
So overall, Pronger (in about 44 extra minutes of ice time) has been on the ice for 52 goals for and 22 goals against. Scotty, meanwhile, has been on the ice for 39 goals for and 26 goals against. I would buy the argument that Pronger being paired with Sean O’Donnell should have better defensive implications than Niedermayer being paired with Francois Beauchemin, but in terms of production, you gotta give the nod to CP here.

7. Selanne responds to criticism. Don’t forget, though, that Selanne has been on fire also, ever since I called him out in the “don’t vote for Teemu” All-star ballot post. Here’s a little split for ya, before and after I called him out.

Before: 19 GP, 4-13-17, 1.82 even-strength pts/hr
Since: 6 GP, 6-6-12, 5.99 even-strength pts/hr
Yikes. Look out, unknown performance bonuses! (Oh, and Teemu, you still haven’t gotten my vote!)

8. Changing the rules. A weird new wrinkle this year in how division leaders are selected. Assume for a second that Anaheim wins tomorrow by two goals. Per the NHL standing rules (at the bottom of this link), Minnesota would reclaim the Northwest Division lead by virtue of goal differential (Wild +9, Oilers +8) despite identical records. Problem is, these goal-differential numbers count shootout wins and losses as “standings” goals-for and goals-against, a new development this year. Minnesota’s differential is boosted by having a 5-1 record in shootouts compared to Edmonton’s 1-1 shootout record. These would not have factored in goal differential calculations last year.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My drunk roommate has a request...

Per his request:

Complete this sentence...


Hey Parros! __________ called and it/he wants its/his _________ back!!!

OK, I'm drunky.

Was it really 5-0 Ducks?

p.s. What a tease that Teemu is. I ask for 500 goals, and he gets me to 499?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Drinky Post--Ducks get hit by train wreck, Sleek rants

Nothing gets you drinking like giving up 7 goals to the Flyers (on 16 shots? Wow.). Random thoughts (warning: a long, directionless, Red Label-inspired post):

Anyone wanna trade for George Parros? That guy’s a human zamboni, using his jersey to slide-sweep the ice. Jeez, Burke. I’m not so sure. Todd Fedoruk was a great fighter and could even contribute in his minutes (the easy ice time, with Getzlaf and Perry). Shawn Thornton maybe wasn’t that great a fighter, but he did really well in the Fedoruk minutes. Parros? I dunno. He’s got the balance of a drunk infant giraffe. A real downgrade.

------------------------------

Yeah, by the numbers it looks pretty stunning that bottomfeeders Ottawa and Philadelphia would shock world-beaters Buffalo and Anaheim, but really, these teams were due. Mudcrutch makes the point pretty well, and JavaGeek does a good job with the Senators specifically. Sucks to say, but the Sens and Flyers aren’t as bad as they were letting on, just as the Sabres and Ducks aren’t as good as they were letting on.
------------------------------

Stats rant: John Kreisler, an NHL.com columnist (the “numbers” guy) had a note on the Flyers (emphasis mine)

The Flyers have a league-low 30 goals (including one in a shootout), though it’s not for a lack of trying. They’ve out-shot their opponents in 12 of their 15 games -- including the last eight, in which they are 2-6-0.

When I look at the NHL standings, why does a shootout win/loss count as a statistical goal? Isn’t that already reflected in the W or O column? I mean, I don’t care particularly about the counting method, but when you look at player stats, nobody gets credit for scoring a goal or a game-winning goal. A winning goalie does not get a save, nor a losing goalie a goal-against. It is, in fact, a phantom goal. If you want to put a shootout win in the goals column, then award a damn goal, dumbass league.
------------------------------

While I’m on the topic of numbers, here’s another thought. I’m really into the mathy stuff being done around the blogosphere, ranging from ice time analysis to shot chart analysis (both on the ice and on the net). More and more, people like us are getting a better and better handle on gathering the data elements of hockey and learning how to read them (through no help of the NHL, mind you). There’s no perfect metric to this sport, of course, but I think the first strides made in data analysis won’t have to be perfect to be effective. It’s just that raw a game.
At any rate, I would humbly like to add one thing to JavaGeek’s excellent data wish list. For every goal scored, I think there should be some sort of data collected about why the goal was scored. Was there a screen? Was it a breakaway? Did the puck deflect? Was the goalie caught in a 2-on-1? Was it just a perfect shot? This it seems to me is just as important as where on the ice the puck was shot or where on the net it was aimed.
We know fundamentally that understanding winning means understanding scoring, both from a productive sense and a preventive sense. I am really in favor of data collection about shot modeling, but I think there should be better differentiation about which goals to model around. My two cents, any way.
------------------------------

Um, I have slammed Hockey News in the past, but there’s two pieces in the issue I just picked up of some interest (I don't have a link). One is about shootouts, and really breaks down where on the net shooters aimed (hint: glove-side high). The other is about declines in attendance, and writer Ken Campbell, I think, kicks some real ass.

Saskin, on the other hand, tells me he isn't the least bit concerned, even though the players' pay checks are directly tied into how many fans they attract. Saskin reasons enough teams raised ticket prices to make up for the revenue shortfall and he has every confidence when final receipts are tallied, the league will exceed the $2.1 billion in revenue it made last year... wasn't the lockout and cost certainty supposed to be in large part about maintaining affordable ticket prices?... Remind me again exactly why it was we missed a full season of hockey if a significant number of teams can paper the house and still report enough in revenues to give the players well over a billion dollars in salary.
------------------------------

As a conclusion to this directionless drinky post, I would like to throw one more idea out there. If the NHL is really serious about the 'watchability' of hockey (which I don't think is measured in goals, by the way), one area I think it might want to take a look at is at the blue line. So hard to penetrate, so easy to defend! Somehow if the offsides rule was more 'relaxed', I think, there would be better flow to games and more chances. Here's three ideas, going conservative-to-radical:

1) Fatten the blue line. Allow a forward to break in earlier when the puck touches blue.
2) Personal tag-up on-sides. Right now if one player is offsides, everyone has to tag up. In this version, only that one player needs to tag up while others can continue "offsides".
3) Allow one forward to be offside. This is really radical, but a whistle would only be blown if two players were offside.
The real idea, I think, is to make things harder to defend. To make scoring chances easier to come by (or at least, more frequent). To get tripped up a little bit less by the stickiness of the neutral zone. At the very least, changing the blueline would have to change the way the game was defended, which at this point is almost a game of "clear the zone".
------------------------------

OK, I'm not even sure if this all makes sense, but Drinky Sleek is putting a stop to this (the typing, not the drinking). Good luck, everyone! Rational posts start tomorrow!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Ducks make lateral moves to confuse Sleek

Three trades:

  • Ducks trade W Todd Fedoruk ($450,000) to Philadelphia for a 4th round pick
  • Ducks trade W Stanislav Chistov ($800,000) to Boston for a 3rd round pick
  • Ducks trade a 2nd round pick to Colorado for (former King) W George Parros ($450,000)
First off, go read LoweTide’s take, as it’s probably the best.

HF Poster fanin115 also put together some decent perspective:

You have to look at the 3 trades in aggregate to understand what Burke did.

You've replaced Fedoruk with Parros. Neither one gets big minutes. Parros is younger and a bit bigger. Fedoruk has a bit more skill, but is injured right now. If Todd can't be an enforcer when he gets back, his value is greatly diminished.

The Ducks (in essence) trade a second round pick which originally belonged to Atlanta, for a third round pick which originally belonged to Phoenix. Plus the Ducks get the right to swap third round draft positions with Colorado. How far apart do you think Atlanta's second round pick will be from Phoenix's third? 5 spots? 10? Throw in the swapped third positions and things are pretty even.

Finally, the ducks shed Chistov's $800,000 salary for the this year and next, and get a 4th rounder from Philly. Face it, Chistov has just not lived up to his billing. He wasn't going to get any time in Anaheim, and would have been claimed if sent down. Good move for Anaheim, and for Chistov.

All in all, pretty good moves by BB.

I suppose that’s a pretty good spin on things, except did the Ducks really need to swap that 2nd-rounder for that moustache-named-Parros, especially with the impressive play of Fedoruk-replacement Shawn Thornton? Maybe Burke needs some help with his crossword puzzles.

As for me? (big shrug) I don’t have a lot of opinion here; these seem to me to be very minor trades. For sure I'll miss Fedoruk, but I have no idea how broken that man is right now. If nothing else, these moves should certainly give our pressbox a new look. I've been wrong before, but I don't really see this as a precursor to a "bigger trade" or anything. Really, it just seems like minor housekeeping to me.

Now the Ducks are down to but one Russian (Ilya Bryzgalov) and down to three members of their 2003 SCF run (J.S. Giguere, Sammy Pahlsson, and Rob Niedermayer). Very Burkish indeed.

[Edit: here's another good perspective from HF commenter braincramp:

So, Ducks do enforcer swap, get Parros and give up Fedoruk. Equal salary, Parros can play but Fedoruk cannot and may never. If Fedoruk was not traded and remained on injured reserve, Ducks would pay him and he would count against the cap and an additional player would be paid. It doesn't matter what Fedoruk was or what the Ducks paid to get him, he's worth what he is now. Maybe a better enforcer could have been obtained for the same salary?

Chistov wasn't playing, hadn't shown anything in camp, and nothing since his rookie year. Do the Ducks want to put together the strongest team or work on player projects? Of course, there's the small matter of $800,000 saved for this year and next.

That leaves the draft picks. As others have noted, late 2nd round pick = early 3rd round pick. Ducks are giving up the 4th round pick.

Maybe they could have gotten a little more for Chistov, but the net result isn't too bad. ]