Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Ducks Gameday—Poetic Justice for Bertuzzi

Nashville Predators (2-3-0, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (3-4-1, t-4th in west)

As usual a matchup with Minnesota produced more injuries. Todd Marchant is day-to-day with a bone bruise, and Todd Bertuzzi got put on the IR with a concussion.

Self-pity is for the weak, though. Poetry is for the strong.

Ode to Bertuzzi's Concussion

T his is a story of circular fate,
O f passion-turned-deadly and unbridled hate,
D umb ol’ Brad May put a price on a head,
D umb ol’ Bertuzzi nearly knocked Steve Moore dead.

B ut skip ahead forward a couple of years,
E ach of the thugs has resumed their careers,
R egrettably Burke kept May’s antics alive,
T o see him knock Johnsson right out of G5.
U pset Derek Boogaard saved up his bloodlust,
Z eroed in on Bertuzzi and got him concuss'd.
Z ip to the lesson—This Karma’s hardcore,
I t got Todd Bertuzzi to start feeling Moore.
Which Nashville team is going to show up tonight? The team that outscored its first two opponents by a combined 9-1 or the team that lost its next three by a combined score of 17-8? For some always solid Nashville perspective, visit the Forechecker.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Predators 2. Goals by Miller, Getzlaf x2, and Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

17 comments:

Patty (in Dallas) said...

Unbelievable, Earl. Great poetry, and not just because it rhymes.

Time for Brad May's turn at some poetic justice, too.

Finny said...

actually, that was pretty good. haha.

Earl Sleek said...

I suspect Brad May might get away without getting his comeuppance. Not that he doesn't deserve it, but having an odd-number of letters in his name, he's made himself practically poetry-proof.

Finny said...

you could do a haiku.

Kate said...

Hee! This is excellent, Earl.

andrew said...

"...but having an odd-number of letters in his name, he's made himself practically poetry-proof."

Nah, it's just a matter of tweaking the rhyme scheme. Rather than the standard A,A,B,B,C,C rhyme pattern, try A,A,A,B,C,C,B for Brad May. Of course any variation is acceptable, and seriously, I can't believe I just gave a poetry lesson on a hockey blog.

spade-in-victorhell said...

earl is it possible to "update" the shark-king-duck hybrid tranny gentic freak with the hockey stick...at the minimum make the duck not look so cheesy....just a request thanx

Earl Sleek said...

Oh, it's possible, but that's our throwback to the early days of BoC.

I'll probably need more requests than just yours (it got put up there on a request too), but just out of curiosity, what were you looking for? More anger? More orange? Substituting pictures with text? 9% less wind resistance?

Sorry, couldn't resist. For now it stays, particularly since that's the easiest move.

RudyKelly said...

I just want more Bailey.

spade-in-victorhell said...

how bout duck body shark face?

Julian said...

Boogard as a vessel of justice?

Riiiiiight.

Kirsten said...

That is some excellent poetry. Boogaard better watch himself, May and Bertuzzi might decide to gang up on him.

Patty (in Dallas) said...

Not that he doesn't deserve it, but having an odd-number of letters in his name, he's made himself practically poetry-proof.

Actually, I meant the other kind of poetic justice, where he gets knocked unconscious by a random sucker punch.

Earl Sleek said...

I knew that, Patty, but I'm so egotistical I think real-life things happen just so I can poemize them. As I'm stumped on Mayday, he'll probably retire scott-free. Life's just that unfair.

Sherry said...

I just want more Bailey.

If by that you mean "Bailey's" then I'm with you.

but having an odd-number of letters in his name, he's made himself practically poetry-proof.

Like I said before, experiment with form. Nothing wrong with a good ol' A-B-A-B

Kirsten said...

Bailey's with some milk in it to dilute is excellent.

spade-in-victorhell said...

earl...told u man...miller time

too bad he didnt score on that blind backhand as well