Kings Gameday: This Blog Post is EXTREME
Los Angeles Kings (3-6, 4th in Pacific) vs. Nashville Predators (2-5, 5th in Central)
10:30 PST, FSN West
The Kings have a new website called LAKingsJunkie.com. It’s full of ATTITUDE and IN YOUR FACE ACTION and RANDOM CAPITALIZATION for some reason, but it does have my favorite part of any team website: player bios. I love these things because they’re always so random and ridiculous. (How else would I know that Dog Murray from Sweden owns his own company or that Ryan Getzlaf likes wake-boarding?) I’m going to start a continuing series wherein I read the bios and then decide if I like the player more or less. First up are Mike Cammalleri and Alexander Frolov.
Mike Cammalleri
What I like: His favorite movie is Raging Bull, his favorite athlete is Scott Thornton, and his favorite action hero is Batman. (Why would he like Scott Thornton so much? Unless... maybe Thornton IS Batman!)
What I don’t like: His favorite book is Bringing Down the House. It could be the book about how 6 MIT graduates cheated
Overall: I like Mike Cammalleri more. He has a more intellectual side that you wouldn’t expect and he likes Scott Thornton. Everyone should like Scott Thornton. He rides bicycles!
RADICAL!!!
Alexander Frolov
What I like: He has a dog named Quattro (after the razor?), he enjoys chess, and his favorite holiday is New Year’s. (I just like this one because I like the idea of someone asking Frolov this question and then him honestly thinking about it before giving an answer.)
What I don’t like: His favorite actor is Anthony Hopkins (he’s really good and everything, but whose favorite actor is Anthony Hopkins?), his favorite athlete is Andre Agassi (Sampras rules!), and his favorite TV show is Entourage. Plus, the picture next to his information is not him, it's Blake. I'm blaming Frolov for this.
Overall: I like Alexander Frolov less. He kind of comes across as a douche bag, don’t you think? I mean, he likes Steven Seagal, he enjoys Gwen Stefani, he watches Entourage… he’s not a hockey player, he’s the guy with the popped collar on every college campus in America!
***
The Kings play the Nashville Predators today, and I can’t think of a team that’s more universally reviled than the Predators. Seriously, the Sharks hate them, the Stars hate them, the Red Wings hate them, I hate them,
There are a lot of opinions on the incident (Kelly Hrudey went nuts on TV and tried to make Tootoo walk the plank), but my favorite part of the whole thing was Tootoo’s comment after the game:
"There's always someone coming after me and there is a prime example of me not defending myself and not knowing someone was coming after me," Tootoo said. "It's unbelievable how hitting is part of the game and after a nice clean hit like that there has to be injury involved when you don't defend yourself."
Is it hard to elbow someone with tears in your eyes?
You can almost hear the sniffling, can’t you? Hmm… someone attacking someone when they were not in a position to defend themselves, where have I seen that before? Listen fuck, nobody likes you. You have no discernable skill besides a willingness to hurt people and the only reason guys like you are still in the league is because of the instigator rule. Plus, you had this and then cheated on it. If there’s one undeniable truth in this crazy little world, it’s that blonde chicks with big fake boobs are awesome. You’re lucky that all the men in the world haven’t held you down and then taken turns kicking you in your little Tootoo Train.
***
This is only tangentially related to the business of this blog, but since it deals with
Louisville, are you trying to say that you are better than
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Prediction: Kings, 4-2. Goals by Cammy, Nagy, Blake and Frolov.
16 comments:
Awesomeness, Rudy. This is so cool that in lieu of doing a Ducks gameday post, I'll just write something up after the game (maybe). Never mind that I haven't started a post at all, nor prepared anything relevant.
A dog named Quattro is pretty awesome--I don't even know if I'd read on past that fun fact.
Oh yeah, and fuck you, Louisville.
One time, when I was little, my dog ate a bunch of Cheerios that I spilled on the kitchen floor, and then he threw up all over the place.
My dog's puke was a better city than Louisville could ever be.
Also, Nashville's arena hates them (the Gaylord Entertainment center! Huzzah!).
It’s full of ATTITUDE and IN YOUR FACE ACTION
Kinda reminds me of "Poochie the Dog".
Again, what makes Cammalleri seem 'intellectual'? Is it because he's read a book?
man he left some nice cans on the table...
Again, what makes Cammalleri seem 'intellectual'? Is it because he's read a book?
I'm guessing it has something to do with his 8 goals in his first 9 games.
Either that or his inability to win an arbitration case.
ok, I just watched those videos, hahahahahha. WOW.
You know, I remember reading some article or seeing some clip on Tootoo before he came up from the minors. They didn't portray him as the fucking goon that he is. What a bag of douche.
Well, he does like Raging Bull (which is an awesome movie) and he likes a book that isn't Harry Potter, so I'd say that makes him a little smarter than I would have guessed. Plus he likes Eva Mendes, which is a very smart thing to do.
...he likes a book that isn't Harry Potter...
That made me like him better, plus he's on my fantasy team.
scott thornton is a king u noob joe thornton is a shark u noobie
haha, wow, maybe I should read more closely. I think I just saw the name Thornton and immediately flew into my rage against you know who. Bad habit.
dude, tootoo is such a stinker. i can't believe he even gets away with a number of the stuff he pulls. i can't wait to se ethe day he gets his come-uppance.
I wonder how the people of Louisville would respond if L.A. produced the following commercial (cue crying California MILF)?: "their daughter is moving to Louisville, where she will probably not even be able to find a place to live that has running water or electricity. Within a year, she will be impregnated by a toothless man named Cletus whose most discernable physical trait is a beer-belly and shotgun that is permanently super-glued to his right hand. He will undoubtedly beat her in his inevitable Budweiser-fueled fits of rage that follow his weekly KKK meetings. Her only solace will be found in sporadic banjo lessons and tractor pulls. Please, do more to spare our sons and daughters the life of trailer-dwelling redneck trash."
See? Stereotypes can work both ways!
Emily, we have that scenario in CA...instead of Louisville, it's called the 909.
I'm going to have to agree too. I went to college up in Yolo County. Let's just say it was an interesting mix of people in the surrounding areas.
Post a Comment