Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Ducks/Kings: Name that Rivalry

For those of you outside of the SoCal television market, you may not be aware that FSN, the main broadcaster for Ducks and Kings games, has devised a Name the Rivalry Contest for Ducks and Kings fans. Whoever’s entry gets selected will win 2 tickets to each of the 6 remaining Ducks-Kings games this season. It’s really a silly contest, for two reasons:

1. The commercials. Both teams’ telecasts have been flooded with reminder commercials, each with the tagphrase “Don’t let a Kings fan decide” (on Ducks telecasts) or “Don’t let a Ducks fan decide” (on Kings telecasts). Of course, for the first game in London, these commercials alternated, leaving me to wonder: does this mean we should let a Sharks fan decide?

2. The futility. Here’s the real crux: there’s no really good new ideas that will come out of this contest—I can almost guarantee it. These teams have been called the Ducks and the Kings for a decade and a half now—the lack of a great catchphrase exists because there isn’t any real strong connection to be made between the team names, not because nobody’s bothered to throw a contest around it.
Still, my roommate and I did give the contest some thought—we are nothing if not great punsters. For me, the best I could come up with was the “Easily Displaceable Series (sure, ship us to London, who needs home fans anyway?)”, but it seems a little long. I prefer my roommate’s geography-based suggestion a lot better—I even turned it into a graphic:

Whatever happens, I don't anticipate liking or using the official-contest-winning rivalry name, but who knows? Any readers got any suggestions worth submitting? Or even better, any suggestions that are unsubmittable? I'm all ears.

13 comments:

RudyKelly said...

The favorite phrase around our household is the "Shut the Hell Up and Show the Game" Rivalry.

kingleb said...

It would be neat if there was a smudge pot we could battle for. seeing as how we cant seem to win a stanely cup.

andrew said...

"The rivalry that the east coast forgot."

KMS2 said...

I'm with RK. When they first announced it before the London game my friends and I were so confused. We kept saying, "what are they talking about? Do they really want to name it something like 'Battle of the 5'?" And the more they mentioned it the more we got annoyed. They need to give it up because why does it need a "name"? As a Kings fan (at least for me) it's always just, "Damnit, we have to play the Ducks, again!"

Emily said...

How about calling it something random and stupid, like "Fred"? I'd actually prefer to hold a counter Name the Contest to Name the Rivalry Contest, to which I offer my submission: "Retarded."

Earl Sleek said...

It would be neat if there was a smudge pot we could battle for.

Maybe they could put some incentive in it. Whoever loses the season series gets Hayward in their booth for twelve months.

I'd actually prefer to hold a counter Name the Contest to Name the Rivalry Contest, to which I offer my submission: "Retarded."

Yeah, that or "Retarded (even for television)"

Bryan said...

Who Duck King Cares?

Bryan said...

Seriously though, this sounds good when you say it.

The Motherfucking Duck King Rivalry

Earl Sleek said...

Who Duck King Cares?

Brilliant.

One I'm actually considering entering: "Goalie Envy". :)

Earl Sleek said...

Holy smokes, the Kings telecast just showed what so far are the top suggestions:

Beachside Brawl
Coastal Clash
Freezeway Series
Pacific Coast Battle
The Ice-5 Series
Southcoast Classic
The Freeway Melee
The Commotion by the Ocean

I am going to vomit when somebody wins this thing. p.s. submissions are due by tomorrow!

Patty (in Dallas) said...

Nobody suggested Battle of California? You might want to trademark your name real quick, boys.

RudyKelly said...

If "The Freezeway Series" wins, I'll eat my hat. How blatantly retarded do you have to be to come up with that?

Itlan said...

Champs vs Chumps