Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Nobody judges talent like XBOX 360

Earl Sleek, September 24:

Thanks to NHL 09's Be a Pro Mode starting me out on the Iowa Chops, I feel that I'm now a qualified judge of minor league talent (and by my digital eye the keepers on that team are Festerling and Ebbett).
Anaheim Ducks website, October 2:
But Festerling and Ebbett are two players who have remained above the fray so far, surviving three rounds of roster cuts that have trimmed the team size from 54 at the start of training camp to 27 currently.
This is turning scarier and scarier, and if you haven't bought NHL 09 yet, it's not only terribly addicting, but it might make you look like a minor league genius, too! I should note that I have never even seen a real-life version of Festerling play, and other than a couple of call-up games last year, the same for Ebbett.

Apologies to Brokeyard (of malfunctioning 360 fame). Go Ducks.


brokeyard said...

It's okay. According to UPS Microsoft received the console for repair today.

Still, :(

Earl Sleek said...

Yeah, even with the good update it's still a tragedy.

Of course, now that I'm on the NHL 09 Ducks squad, I figure my days of AHL expertise have quickly ended, but it sure was cool while it lasted!

Kalroy said...

Be a Pro game mode is a hockey RPG. Enjoying the heck out of it. I got moved to the second line on the Chops roster. Woohoo!


Earl Sleek said...

Nice, Kalroy!

If you are playing a non-center position, it's the second line of the Chops where I really started noticing my Ebbett impressions.

Keep passing it to him; that kid's got a decent shot. :)

brokeyard said...

Of course there's always the fact that Microsoft says they're still waiting to receive my console... that could be trouble.

Back in my day, I got promoted to the Ducks quickly (too quickly I thought) and had just moved to the 2nd Defensive line.

Earl Sleek said...

I should come clean -- I'm playing on easy mode still, and using classic controls. What can I say? I like easy stats.

Anyways, Sleek's a left winger (I figured I could benefit from the right wing jam of Perry, Selanne, and Ryan). When I got called up to the Ducks, I was shocked to find that Ryan wasn't on the team (did I displace him?), and that Selanne was also a left winger on the top line.

I was on a third line with Morrison and Marchant, and that was fantastic. Then I got "promoted" to the second line with Pahlsson and Parros. Whoa. My assist numbers plummeted. But now I'm a top liner (promoted, demoted, promoted) with Getzlaf and Perry. Good times, though I still feel guilty calling Selanne off the ice.

Basically, at the end of every game, my scores look like this:

Positioning: A+
Teamwork: C+
Stats: A+

My coach hates my turnovers and the fact that Sleek hardly hits anybody. I'm a vicious poke-checker, though.

Earl Sleek said...

Well, this was sort of expected.

Bobby Ryan has been sent down to the Iowa Pigs, mostly because of his bonus clauses.

I wouldn't fret too much about this, Ducks fans. I'd expect Ryan returns to the squad at some point, either when his bonuses become unattainable or if further salary is somehow shed. No matter what, I expect Ryan to be on the team by the end of the year, and certainly on a playoff squad.

Hmm, I suppose XBOX 360 predicted this, as well. Smart cookie, that game system.

RudyKelly said...

So full post about your stupid fake hockey player, and a small comment about your #1 prospect getting sent to the minors? Well done.

Earl Sleek said...

Day job's been extremely shitty today. I'll put more into this Ryan demotion later.

Kalroy said...

Joakim Lindstrom just got claimed off waivers by the Blackhawks, so maybe tommorrow Ryan will be back.

Not that I couldn't use him in BaP mode on NHL 09. Ebbet and the rest just can't seem to find the back of the net, though our goalie (fronted by defenseman "yours truly") has kept every loss to one point.

Gotta love the hockey RPG.


Ksy92003 said...

Well Ryan was just sent down. Does he have a two-way contract?

Earl Sleek said...

Does he have a two-way contract?

No, not his base salary anyways. But there's some bonus clauses that I assume are NHL-based, and will count against the cap at the start of the year, at least.

Earl Sleek said...

I mean, they would count against the cap if he started in the NHL. Thus the AHL demotion.

I'll collect some thoughts and write a post in the morning.