Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Ducks Gameday—Positivity! (Is this the game?)

Edmonton Oilers (1-0-0) at Anaheim Ducks (3 opportunities for improvement!)
There's no choice except better results, right?



What I was originally going to write about.

Look, I know the Ducks have been horrible lately, but I've caught onto a pattern. My problem? I'm way too psychic. And I've been focusing entirely too much on the negative.

Tonight? In the spirit of "the first 3 games are irrelevant in the scheme of an 82-game schedule", I'm instead imagining some good results. Is this the game where the Ducks get goals from their actual goal-scorers*? Is this the game where the Ducks enter the penalty box at a slightly lesser rate**? Is this the game where the Ducks even vaguely resemble a salary-cap maximum team***? Is this the game where Ducks fans get to see what a power play goal-for looks like****? It totally could be!
* Thus far in the Ducks' season, the top two scoring lines have combined for one goal, the bottom two checking lines have combined for five, and the defense has contributed none.

** The Ducks have been shorthanded an average of 11:14 per game through the first three, and have allowed 6 PPGs to offset their 6 total GF.

*** The Ducks are t-27th in the league in terms of goals-for-per-game and 29th in the league in goals-against-per-game.

**** The Ducks are the only NHL team without a power play goal this season.
Feel free to leave your own semi-positive "Is this the game" hope in the comments. Bonus points for extra cynicism!

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Also, this is your 4-times-a-year reminder to read your Oilogosphere -- since internet blogging was invented, the Oilers have had the market cornered -- Battle of Alberta, Covered in Oil, mc79hockey, LoweTide, Black Dog Hates Skunks, Irreverent Oil Fans, Oiloblobosphere, Hot Oil, Copper and Blue -- and quite honestly, I am still leaving out some very good ones. Even if you read nothing but Oilers blogs, you'd get a full spectrum of what hockey fandom is all about. Don't tell that to Burke 'n' Lowe, though; I'd hate for my admiration to spill over to that tasty feud.

Prediction: I'm getting my expectations low enough now that this could end up the first game of the year that doesn't end with a proverbial gun in my mouth -- now that's positivity! Ducks 4, Oilers 2. Goals by four guys yet to put a puck in the net: Perry, Getzlaf, Pahlsson, and Kunitz.

Go Ducks? (!) .

44 comments:

Kirsten said...

I can't wait for this game. I'm going to use up my daily internet allowance to watch Gags.

RudyKelly said...

The Ducks just looked, I don't know, slow. There was no urgency. I didn't really notice Getzlaf out there, although that may have just been because I couldn't see any players that weren't within 2 feet of the puck. (Lousy rinkside view.)

Also, if there are any Edmonton fans reading this, let me know how my Lubo is doing.

Earl Sleek said...

I can't wait for this game.

There's some positivity! Oh wait...

Earl Sleek said...

I didn't really notice Getzlaf out there

The three most noticeable things that Getzlaf has done this season have been:

g1: when the Ducks trailed 3-0 to the Sharks, he took a stupid slashing penalty.

g2: when the Ducks trailed 3-1 to the Coyotes, he took a stupid interference penalty.

g3: when the Ducks trailed 4-2 to the Kings, he took a stupid goalie interference penalty.

Hey Getzlaf, I'll let you know when I think this team needs a $5 million penalty moron who cannot grasp why needless penalties are a bad idea when trailing in a game.

spade-in-victorhell said...

im skipping watching my ducks and dodgers lose again tonite...im watching the debate...maybe me not watching will make both these teams win...that sounds positive right? at least a new stragedy...i dunno

p.s. I second on the rinkside view needs to be discarded in a goats asshole

Earl Sleek said...

maybe me not watching will make both these teams win...that sounds positive right? at least a new stragedy...i dunno

Yeah, may as well try something less drink-inducing.

Well, if tonight's result turns just as ugly as the last three, maybe FS-Prime can start showing games with camera angles from across Katella Avenue so I don't actually have to experience it.

Kirsten said...

Rudy, we (secret)Oilers fans are starting to like Lubo. He had a really great block in the game the other day, probably a goal saving one.

I'll say something positive about the Ducks tomorrow, I promise.

Anonymous said...

My prediction is that Pronger hits Gagner exactly the way Brown hit Sammi but every fanboy in the world is clammoring for a 30 game suspension. Since it's the fourth game the Ducks score 4 goals from Brad May, Steve Montador, Jonas Hiller, and Randy Carlyle who decides to suit up after getting tired of watching his players suck. However, the Ducks still lose when Penner scores a natural hat trick, then Bertuzzi and Schneider disguise themselves as Oilers and score two goals apiece. Ducks still can't score on the power play. Final score Ducks 4, Oil 7. Colorado somehow manages to earn a point even though they don't play leaving the Ducks with sole possession of last place in the league. Judge Carney has a change of heart and decides to sentence Henry Samueli to life in prison. Bettman steps in and at first delights all Canadians by removing the Ducks from Anaheim then pisses them all off again by relocating them to Kansas City. Kings fans celebrate by driving to the Honda Center and taking a giant collective crap on the Ducks logo at center ice. It's gonna be a long but interesting night. Go Ducks.

Mike in OC said...

Can't get much worse...can it?

Earl Sleek said...

Nice, Anonymous.

You neglected the part where Ducks prospects get their skulls bashed in by football players, but since that's already happened, I'll let it slide.

spade-in-victorhell said...

the one play that sticks out to me was the moulson goal...scotty...instead of staying in the middle of the ice to cut off any cross ice pass...he lazily (Mspell) goes after the guy on the boards...then lazily does a little pussy chop to try to prevent the cross ice pass to moulson...which what do u know...still gets through...and moulson scores...when u put that kinda putrid effort into defending..thats the result...and i agree i dont think ive actually noticed getzlaf the whole fuckin season...only when there is a closeup of him yapping before a faceoff or his ass getting slammed by the penalty door

Earl Sleek said...

I dunno, Spade. I'm more liable to condemn Beauchemin on that play, for being nowhere near his position.

Another bad pinch, why not? The Ducks are trailing by a goal, what's the worst that could happen?

PJ Swenson said...

Use the waiver wire Luke.

Julian said...

Maybe McIver will craft a hockey stick out of a discarded hot dog wrapper and a piece of lint and lead us to victory. At this point I'm looking for non-hockey solutions as the Ducks haven't given any indication they can take care of anything but wetting the bed on the rink.

Christ, he's outscoring Captain Niedermayer, Alternate Captain Getzlaf and former Alternate Captain Kunitz.

I am depressed.

Earl Sleek said...

It is depressing, and it is bizarre, Julian. I mean, even looking at where the goals have come from:

Top line: zero goals
2nd line: one goal
3rd line: two goals
4th line: three goals

Insane!

At this point I'm looking for non-hockey solutions as the Ducks haven't given any indication they can take care of anything but wetting the bed on the rink.

Let's hope that the Oilers get bad directions on their way to the Honda Center tonight. I'd gladly take two default points.

Mr. Plank said...

Let's hope that the Oilers get bad directions on their way to the Honda Center tonight. I'd gladly take two default points.

Is Dany Heatley the chauffeur for Edmonton now? Too soon? Eh.....

Earl Sleek said...

Plank, when you're in the early season gutter, it's never too soon.

The only gripe I have is that bringing up Heatley reminds me of when the Ducks were good, and that's entirely confusing the issue for me.

Mr. Plank said...

The only gripe I have is that bringing up Heatley reminds me of when the Ducks were good, and that's entirely confusing the issue for me.

Well at least if you miss the playoffs you won't have to see your team eat shit like that grape stomping lady in the second round.

Positivity?

Earl Sleek said...

Well at least if you miss the playoffs you won't have to see your team eat shit like that grape stomping lady in the second round.

Good point. But hey, if the team plays this poorly, who's to say that I can even take this for 82 games?

Maybe I'll get traded to a contender at the deadline.

John Q. Phats said...

Well, I suppose it really couldn't get any worse. (That's positive.) Christ, now I know how Kings fans feel. Although, I think, having a team with an ass load of talent, that's expected to be a Stanley Cup contender this season tank horribly is a much bigger kick to the nuts (with a pointier shoe) then having a team that's expected to do bad tank horribly.

Bartcal said...

Perhaps the 4th line and the 1st line should switch roles. Maybe the reverse mojo will help. God knows, nothing else is working.

Earl Sleek said...

Is there some way that the NHL can lock out just the players on the Ducks this year?

Then next year, when everyone else is locked out and hockey fans are super-bored, maybe the Ducks can come beat themselves 79 more times for our amusement.

Doogie2K said...

Is this the year the Oilers go 2-0 at the Pond...again?

;)

Brad said...

well, I just came across a couple of tickets for tonight's Anaheim game.

Go Lubo!

Morbo said...

Edmonton is going to paste this team. Had a doctor's appt so was home yesterday afternoon and watched the pens vs flyers game. Compared to that, the Ducks were on Slo-mo.

Brian Burke has assembled a team with 'truculence', the only problem is, you can't be truculent if you can't catch anyone, including the puck.

Matt said...

Why is the game being televised at 11pm?

Earl Sleek said...

Why is the game being televised at 11pm?

If you're talking about FS Prime Ticket, that's a replay. They're also showing the game live at 7.

Matt said...

Oh, I was look at the sked and I wondering why it was the kings-ducks replay...shit, Oilers 1-0! Positive thinking! As long as it doesn't explode to 4 goals...

Earl Sleek said...

HUSKINS TIME!!!!

That's damn positive!

Matt said...

hell yeah, just as i posted, Husky scored!

Earl Sleek said...

Positivity!!!

brokeyard said...

I'm perfectly fine with the Ducks going 79-3-0 this season.

Earl Sleek said...

And I've always thought that Rob Niedermayer was overdue for a 50-goal year.

Earl Sleek said...

Another loss caused by another bonehead offensive zone penalty, but you know what? Positivity.

I feel way way better about that game than I should.

Matt said...

Fuck! Well, at least they played better...gotta beat the Sharks next game...if they don't I'm planning to get my Tavares jersey.

VeryProudofYa said...

Three posts on the third. Yowch.


They'll win most nights with that kind of effort, so I'm not overly bummed about the loss.

Angie said...

Uh ... no "gotta beat the Sharks next game" comments. Us Sharks fans are not ready to see them lose a game. Especially to the ducks. In fact, with how much many Sharks fans hate the ducks, we are somewhat enjoying watching them lose.

Kinda goes along with, who are your two fave teams - SHARKS! And any team that beats the ducks. :)

GO SHARKS!

Earl Sleek said...

Uh ... no "gotta beat the Sharks next game" comments.

It's not must-win, but I'm certainly brimming with positivity.

I'll be in attendance for that one, so there's some extra incentive.

Positivity!

Brad said...

Go Lubo! game winner from the point!

Matt said...

at least they didn't give up 4 or more goals this time. 3 this game, 2 in the next. I hope they play Hiller again, he was solid, the only goals he let in he wasn't able to see. Sharks gotta lose sometime...please let it be this Friday!

grease trap said...

thanks for the shout out, Sleek. Now I actually have to start blogging again....

Earl Sleek said...

Heh, no worries, Grease Trap.

You can leave that preview up and I'll still get a good chuckle. That piece kills me.

Bartcal said...

Um Ducks, feel free to get your first win after Friday. After that, I can live with it. Nothing personal, just make my life easier leaving the Ponda Fri night (or not, who knows).

Earl Sleek said...

Hey, maybe I'll see you there, Bartcal.

Look for the green-shirted idiot in Row B, regularly yelling "Positivity!"