Scattered playoff thoughts: Gary Roberts, brisket and the evil that is Mike Keenan

It's been a while since I've thrown some Stars perspective in here. I'd like to call my absence "GaryRobertsian"* but I imagine some would just say that I've had a "Brad Richards after the 5 assist game" type drought.

Well, no matter, because I have a few thoughts today and I'll have more this weekend. The reason for that is that I'll finally join the modern era and acquire an unnecessarily spectacular Internet connection.

(Which reminds me of NHL 'o8. Sleek...e-mail your X-Box Live tag and we can have the Digital Battle of California. Any other BoCers/readers are welcome to cower at the feet of my near-embarrassing polygonal domination)

ANYWAY, I wanted to throw a few things out there:

1. Due to my Battle of Pacifician (I really need to stop lazily throwing "-ian" onto words) work hours, I'm going to cover the Stars in a TiVo-friendly way for most of the playoffs. This means that my opinions will be slightly outdated but no less snarky. Think of my opinions as brisket, marinating and tenderizing in my sleep neglected mind.

(I've officially compared myself to Gary Roberts and brisket. Self aggrandizement > self deprecation).

2. I'm really torn on who I think will win the Stars-Ducks series. So, in the spirit of being at a snail mail pace on the rapid fire Internet, I think I'll resolve this issue by posting a hindsight-strengthened "series preview" after game 1.

It's going to be difficult to top last year's Canucks-Stars preview, especially since the Ducks lack Swedish Ginger Twins. I guess there's always Todd Bertuzzi and knucklepuck jokes. Sigh.

3. The only playoff game I saw significant chunks of tonight was Sharks - Flames, which happens to be the only playoff series that ended up coming true in my favorite hypothetical playoff matches post.

Here's a few observations from the Flames - Sharks viewings and the young '08 playoffs:

• I've had this weird feeling that the Sharks could be The Team of Destiny this year, but Fate unfortunately pulled the "I have a headache/I'm washing my hair" excuse tonight.

• Calgary might be the toughest underdog in the playoffs this year (I don't really think 5 seeds are true underdogs, mind you). Kipper has a chance to silence all the fat jokes with a monster playoff run, which is bad news for previous lard ass punchline machine Keith Tkachuk.
  

(Kind of like the South Park episode when Cartman goes to fat camp and another character is the designated fat kid. By the way, is the Cartman - Tkachuk comparison insulting to Cartman or Tkachuk? I'll let you decide that one)

• Jarome Iginla vs. Joe Thornton might be the West's best answer to a Crosby vs. Ovechkin showdown.

• I think I have to root (softly) for the Sharks just because Mike Keenan is pure evil. And I'm not saying that just because he reduced The Ambassador of Fun to tears.

If you're not pumped for this time of year, I'd recommend that you take up knitting, huffing or huffing while knitting.

*Wow...disturbing side note. Be careful when you Google Image Search Gary Roberts. I hope Pensblog means Gary Roberts - NHL player when they ask WWGRD? because the other Gary Roberts apparently would respond to most questions by saying "I would draw naked Japanime characters to disturb unsuspecting hockey fans." Yikes. At least it's not naked cartoon men, right?