Popcorn chicken sized hockey thoughts

• I have surprisingly little to say about the Stars-Ducks series so far. Part of that, naturally, is because I am in the same “completely missed game 1” boat as Sleek.

But I think it’s based mainly on the fact that my mind cannot compute what’s happening.

It is sort of like when you have a girlfriend everyone hates, but for once she’s smiling and cracking jokes and not being a femme Godzilla. And it’s sort of nice…but you keep waiting for the inevitable blowup to happen.

Honestly, the Ducks’ second period comeback seemed like a “glaring at your friend for making a harmless joke” type moment. Until, somehow, the Stars just destroyed the Ducks in the third period. With all due respect to the Ambassador of Fun and Friends, I didn't see this coming.

• The worst thing for the Ducks might be that the Stars are the last team in the league to sit on a 2 game lead. Brendan Morrow might take a human life if they don’t win a playoff series this year.

• With all the success Mike Ribeiro is having so far, it has to make Joe Thornton look even worse. It seems like playoff softees are shedding that label one-by-one each year (first it was Alf in Ottawa now Ribeiro) but yet Thornton underachieves again and again.

• Patrick Marleau is redeeming himself with some solid play this year, but I think he scores more cool points simply for bleeding profusely twice in the same game. It brought me to a question for atypical stat heads: what’s the (un)official record for a player who bled the most times in one game?
  

(Please, no Cammi Granato jokes.)

• That being said, the Sharks have to blow this thing up if they lose in the first round. Both of their losses are real groin kicks. Then again, they've done everything the hard way this year...
  

• Should Elisha Cuthbert be embarrassed because she slept with Sean Avery? Tagging her would be an outstanding revenge plot for Brodeur (we might have to convince him that Cuthbert’s his sister in law, though).

I’m trying to think of the best analogy for the Brodeur – Avery feud and the first thing that pops into my head is Seinfeld vs. Newman. (Avery, obviously, is Newman).

• My first '08 playoffs submission to the Single Period of Hockey I’d Show to Someone to Prove the Sport’s Superiority would probably be the third period of game two in the Wild – Avs series. Just beautiful, hyper speed high octane playoff hockey. If that didn't impress you, you’re a waste of carbon.