Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Sharks Gameday: Kyle Mclaren Sucks Edition

SJ Sharks vs. Calgary Flames

Calgary Leads, 1-0

7:00 PST

First things first: I don't give a fuck about the Sharks. Their team is stupid, their fans are stupid, and I hate that stupid shark they bring down before the game. That being said, I'm bored because my team sucks and I hate it when coaches suddenly get retarded during the playoffs. Plus, it's no fun listening to your roommate wander around the apartment muttering, "God damn you Ron Wilson," like some kind of mental patient.

Maybe I'm just thinking about this wrong, but isn't it kind of insane to play both Kyle McLaren and Alexei Semenov (hehe) during game 1? The Sharks are a big team that can't get pushed around, but they're effective because they don't necessarily play physical (with a few exceptions) and they don't take penalties. McLaren took two bad penalties last night that killed the Sharks, so get him the fuck out of there. He got 2 penalties and he only played about 13 minutes! That is ridiculous.

Here's my (uninformed) opinion about what Ron Wilson should do:


-Marc-Edward Vlasic and Craig Rivet play against Jarome Iginla's line
-Brian Campbell plays half the game, usually with Doug Murray (he's from Sweden)
-Matt Carle spells Murray and Rivet when they're tired
-Dress Semenov but don't play him more than 8 minutes

Really folks, this isn't that hard. The Sharks have the last change! Use it! Fuck!

Also, don't try to play physical with Calgary. You're better than them, just skate through them! Don't buy into this playoff bullshit and play your game. Did you see how good you played in the 3rd? Try to play like that. The only player the Sharks should try to rough up is Dion Phaneuf, like they did to Chris Pronger once upon a time. He's a stupid oaf and I guarantee you he will take a stupid penalty. (By the way, why aren't you booing him every time he touches the puck? C'mon, get with it!)

But hey, what the fuck do I know, I'm just a Kings fan. I'm sure you Sharks people know what you're doing, as evidenced by your many years of deep playoff play. All I know is that I hate the Calgary Flames and you're making them look good. Stop it.

Prediction: Ron Wilson takes my advice; Sharks lose 10-0. Meg rips out my small intestine.

18 comments:

RudyKelly said...

Oh, I forgot about Ehrhoff. Is he hurt? He should probably be playing with Campbell. And what the fuck was Jody Shelley doing playing instead of Marcel Goc?

Dave said...

Shelley was playing because the Flames dressed Godard.

RudyKelly said...

Haha, so?

Earl Sleek said...

Oh, I forgot about Ehrhoff. Is he hurt?

Yeah, at least for G1 he was. It's the playoffs, though, so I don't really know what's up with him.

Dave said...

Godard's a fighter, Shelley's a fighter. I presume Wilson wouldn't prefer his only skilled player in Ryan Clowe getting into a fight with Godard. ;)

Earl Sleek said...

Godard's a fighter, Shelley's a fighter.

Godard's a fighter who got 1:48 in ice time last night. I don't know if it's that compelling to build a strategy around him.

Mike in OC said...

Really folks, this isn't that hard. The Sharks have the last change! Use it! Fuck!

Haha, Tell it brother! I hope you get first crack at the coathing gig in SJ after they fire Wilson this off season. Then I might even start watching a few regular season Sharks games.

KMS2 said...

RK, I can't believe you hate the Flames. I used to hate them when the little weenie, Theoren Fleury, was on the team, but now they have Craig Conroy!

doctorgonzzzo said...

Theo was cool! You can't pick on a little guy that poops too much...

RudyKelly said...

They also have Jarome Iginla and Dion Phaneuf. And Mike Keenan. And Alex Tanguay. And Owen Nolan. And Curtis Joseph. And Stephane Yelle. Plus, nobody knows how to say "Huselius" and "Langkow" and that annoys me.

I loved Theoren Fleury, though.

Kelpfreak said...

I'll save the panic for tonight, thanks. I can't remember the last time the Sharks DIDN'T look unprepared and disinterested in their first game of the playoffs.

Morbo said...

All I know is I saw Phaneuf drop Big Joe like a rag doll in the corner in the 3rd period. Grow some balls Thornton. If that was Getzlaf, he would have turned around and stuck his ugly mug in Phaneuf's face and told him to go fly a kite while punching Phaneuf in the kitty.

Yes, Dion has a kitty. His name is Dion for crying out loud.

Cheechew said...

It is sad when a Kings fan can see the problems with our team and our own coach can't. Our D was pitiful last night. I know Mclaren is probably injured and playing with one leg but he was a pylon last night. Campbell played his worse game that I have ever seen him play. I never thought I would be saying this but "I wish Ehrhoff was back in the lineup."

Mike in OC said...

I saw Phaneuf drop Big Joe like a rag doll

I thought the rag doll was Cheechoo (who hit him, Nolan?)

MetroGnome said...

By the way, why aren't you booing him every time he touches the puck? C'mon, get with it!

What game were you watching? Sharks fans booed Phaneuf more than Oilers fans.

As for this stupid strategy of dressing big goons to play 2 minutes in case they might want to fight each other...don't get me started.

RudyKelly said...

I was referring the type of treatment the Sharks famously gave Chris Pronger many years ago.

Earl Sleek said...

As for this stupid strategy of dressing big goons to play 2 minutes in case they might want to fight each other...don't get me started.

Metrognome, I know you're less than happy with Keenan dressing Godard, but I'll tell you what. If dressing Godard means that Wilson dresses Shelley, it might not be a terrible strategy.

At least it's a move that's being offset.

I was referring the type of treatment the Sharks famously gave Chris Pronger many years ago.

Or heck, many weeks ago.

Anonymous said...

You open a can of worms when you pick on Theoren Fleury!! He has his fans and I'm one of them...