Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Brett Favre: Pigskin Hero to Pig-Skinned Zero?

Favre the enforcer? It might be his best option.

Well, I’m late to the show on this story, but I guess in a quest for Midwest relevance, the Ducks’ new AHL affiliate the Iowa Pigs have offered a contract of some unknown capacity to former NFL great Brett Favre. Now on the face of things, this is a more ridiculous idea than even the Kings moving to Kansas City, and I’m not even sure the relevant question is “Can Brett Favre play hockey?”, but what the heck? It’s a summertime story.

Now I really don’t have a ton to say about this marketing gimmick, because even though this is a somewhat Ducks-related story, I may be one of the least-knowledgeable internet voices on the subject.
  • As I note regularly, I don’t follow the AHL at all, as it’s not televised in any way in SoCal. I probably cannot name five players who played for the Portland Pirates (Anaheim’s previous affiliate) last year—those that I can name were introduced to me when they were called up to the big club.

  • I have no idea how well or badly hockey sells in Iowa. This may be the key to answering the question, “Is this a good idea or not?” [EDIT: Puck Daddy provides a good Iowa perspective about hockey.]

  • I don’t know very much about Brett Favre, as I avoid the NFL like Todd Bertuzzi avoids backchecking. I basically know that he’s a long-time Packers quarterback who has had some recent retirement controversy (the football fan staying in my house filled me in on this last night), but still remains one of the top 10 most recognizable and appealing names in sports.
So, from my seat of ignorance, I don’t know how well to commend or condemn the new Iowa ownership for their certainly brazen gimmick; if it generates enough buzz to get more eyes on Pigs Hockey, probably it’s a good idea. Still, what’s next for the Iowa Headline-Makers? What other former athlete, now estranged from the sport that made them famous, could help bring this club to local prominence?

Barry Bonds on the blueline? Michael Vick on the wing? Let’s get some suggestions to help put this Pig club on the map.


RudyKelly said...

As someone who has hated Brett Favre for lo these many years, I cannot tell you how much glee this whole saga gives me. Watching all the idiots at ESPN eat themselves is hilarious. The best part is that the one voice of reason in this whole thing is mother fucking Stephen A. Smith. * Brett Favre is a spoiled little bitch and if he were black this story would be completely different.

But he really is like a kid out there.

Also: the Chops?

Earl Sleek said...

Yeah, it's all a bit weird for me. I mean, I basically heard Favre's name in a sort of "Niedermayer" and "Selanne" setting (another guy who can't get his retirement priorities straight, at least from a fan's selfish angle), but never really understood his position until it was explained to me last night.

Heck, the Chops might be a good move for him, if he wants to show he's not about the money. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Also: the Chops?

That's their official name, but I think I'm probably just calling them the Iowa Pigs or Iowa Piglets until something more inspiring comes along... the Des Moines Swine?

RudyKelly said...

I guess the best comparison would be if the Devils had drafted Cary Price because Brodeur acted like he was going to retire, but then Brodeur decided to play 3 more years and then finally retired, then decided to come back but the Devils decided to go with Price because he had earned the spot, so then Brodeur decided he wanted his outright release so he could sign with the Rangers, and oh by the way he refused to give the Devils a list of teams he would accept being traded to because he's a cock.

Mike said...

I have no sympathy for Favre's supposed plight- that Smith quote is very telling.

And Brodeur is already a cock. Probably the second or third best goalie ever, but a cock nonetheless.

Earl Sleek said...

Well, I may feel even better about this Chops' offer, then.

a) Even if Favre is a douchebag, he's certainly not the worst case in the Ducks' system. Probably not even top-five. Compared to Pronger, he's a saint.

b) And heck, his retirement saga story doesn't even raise an eyebrow from this Ducks fan. We've seen this often enough to not be shocked; he'd fit right in!

c) In a lot of ways, I'm happier that the Pigs went after a guy like Favre than a guy like Brodeur (or an equivalent hockey guy who is retired). This stunt is even better because of its on-ice non-plausibility.

Earl Sleek said...

Holy hell. Forget Favre. Did everyone get a good scare out of that earthquake?


Mike in OC said...

I found it hillarious watching my co-workers stand in the doorway to their office thinking it was going to offer the maximum protection against the concrete tilt-up walls that surround us.

Them teaseing me because I had the sense to actually evacuate the building was even more fun.

Oh well, maybe someday I'll get the chance to see them get squished!

Mattstro Disastro said...

They aren't trying hard enough. REAL guts is an AHL affiliate going after, say, a NASCAR driver or someone with a similar complete lack of applicable skill.

Ken said...

good to know your safe Earl. Here's my question for you boys, whom would you rather have Teemu who cant make up his mind? Or Favre who knows what he wants but is a baby about it?

Earl Sleek said...

whom would you rather have Teemu who cant make up his mind? Or Favre who knows what he wants but is a baby about it?

Well, I'd go with Teemu, who I suspect has made up his mind but won't make anything known until there's money freed up by a Schneider trade.

It's the playing-for-peanuts that really makes the difference. I don't care how late a player wants to decide his future if when he plays he's willing to play for any dollar amount.

brokeyard said...

I hate Favre haters... I was there on Favre's Monday Night Miracle Game... it was impossible not to be amazed with his ability.

That said, how the hell would it be different if Favre was black? Michael Jordan retired and during one of his 11 retirements (isn't he playing again?) joined Minor League Baseball.

Mike in OC said...

I think the chops really just want Madden to jock the shit out of em.

Favre's an ass. Maybe if he fails to get on a team he'll just go back to depression / pill adiction and be done with it.

brokeyard said...

Also: the Chops?

From Wikipedia:
The so-called "Iowa Chop" is a thick center cut. The term was coined in 1976 by the Iowa Pork Producers Association.

We name teams after food when its alive, why not after it's been prepared?

Joe said...

I hate Favre haters... I was there on Favre's Monday Night Miracle Game... it was impossible not to be amazed with his ability.

You mean the ability that has had him throwing up year after year of shit stats and interceptions and stupid decisions, addicted to painkillers, and gotten the media to cover for YEARS of poor play because he's Brett Favre? The Brett Favre who can do no wrong, who gets no blame for poor seasons by the Packers, who uses the media for his own gain and to thwart the gain of his teammates (see: Walker, Javon), and whose cock has been shoved down our collective throats for years on end by every single mainstream media source imagineable? That Brett Favre? Yeah, fuck him.

The biggest thing that has kept Brett Favre from being exposed for what he really is, is the fact that he got to play 6+games a year against the most inept division in the sport. Earl Sleek here could throw 20+ touchdowns a year in the NFC north.

Joe said...

Oh, and on topic, who should the Chops target next?

Elisha Cuthbert. Why not? She's hot, and more importantly, she's dated several hockey players. Who knows, maybe a little something rubbed off?

RudyKelly said...

joe, we should hang out.

brokeyard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
brokeyard said...

The Brett Favre who can do no wrong, who gets no blame for poor seasons

Kind of like you're not doing right now? Idiot.

Joe said...

...what? Maybe its cause its pretty late, but that one just isn't clicking with me. So, I'll revert to rambling and reiterating my point.

Favre had a surprisingly good year last year. Prior to last year, he had not had a good year in several years. But he always was given an excuse. He didn't have a running game to speak of, so defenses keyed on him. He didn't have the super duper receivers. "Oh, he's a gunslinger, he looks like a kid out there, he's having fun throwing into triple coverage!". When someone like Kerry Collins tries to throw a deep ball into triple coverage, people call him a dumbass who needs to make better decisions with the ball. Favre does it, and it gets blamed on his receivers, or he is somehow let off with the gunslinger/kid/fun spiel. And inexplicably, an entire state (granted, not the smartest of states), worships the guy for it. Really, what the hell?

Mike in OC said...

Joe is right.

If you watched a game where Favre put the team on his shoulders and carried them to the crapper, you will remember. He would throw floaters into double or triple coverage and get picked, and all the TV guys would say is: "Nothing you could do about that, that's not his fault"

I heard that crap 3 times one game, and after the fourth Madden was like oh well, and it sounded like he started to cry.

If your a GB fan, does it not piss you off a little that he waited until the day after the team picked 2 QB's in the draft to announce he wanted to post-pone his comeback, FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT YEAR?

Mike in OC said...

make that post-pone his retirement.

yup that reads better...

Earl Sleek said...

If your a GB fan, does it not piss you off a little that he waited until the day after the team picked 2 QB's in the draft to announce he wanted to post-pone his retirement, FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT YEAR?

Haha, unless you're also a Ducks fan, in which case a double annual superstar retirement deliberation
probably seems like business as usual.

brokeyard said...

You guys are trying to argue like a few bad games make a great player a subpar one.

If Scott Neidermayer completely blew his coverage and gave away a game winning breakaway goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup, would that mean he's a bad player? Or if Joe Thornton pulled a Patrik Štefan? No.

The guy didn't throw 20+ TDs in the NFC North. Only 6 out of 16 games are played in the division. That means 10 of those games he's throwing those against the rest of the league.

A Super Bowl ring, 9-time All-Pro. 160-93 career record. Numerous other records. Ignoring that and saying "well I watched him once and he wasn't doing well" is just stupid.

Mike in OC said...

I think the point is if he retired 3 years ago like he said he was going to all we would remember is the good stuff.

Now everytime he returns they call the games like it's his last season and make it all rosey like he can do no wrong, which is irritating. Not to mention he is screwing up Green Bays rebuild by saying "I'm going to retire, im done" and then 3 months later changing his mind (after the draft mind you)

I had no problem with him before all this.

Keep in mind when comparing him to the Ducks players, they never said they retire, and then change that. If Scott came out and said I RETIRE, and then Burke used 3 draft picks on Defense and spent cap monyey on his replacement, only to have Scott caome back 2 days after the draft and say, I change my mind (again) I want to play or trade me. People would hate Scott as well.

Now he may have cost MIN some draft picks with this crap as well.

Plus, you have to admit he does not play at the same level as he did. I would take Romo or Brees over him if I had a choce today, and they have not done anything near his acomplishments.

brokeyard said...

Plus, you have to admit he does not play at the same level as he did

The only years he played better than 2007 were 1995 and 1996.