Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Selanne Signs 2-Year, $5.25 Million Dollar Deal

Stupid sexy Selanne.


Teemu Selanne is back
. The Finnish Fucker signed a deal that works out to $2.625 million dollars a year, or $.1 million dollars less than Kyle Calder. Mother fucker. I assume this means either Todd Marchant or Francois Beauchemin is out now, although who knows what kind of crazy schemes Brian Burke has planned. I think they should trade Sammy Pahlsson. Earl will probably have more analysis, this is just so you guys can go, "Wow, Teemu Selanne is awesome.*"

Did Selanne want a 2-year deal because he wants to play in the Olympics again? Sure, why not.

*If you had to bet in 2000 on either Teemu Selanne, Paul Kariya or Rob Blake abandoning their team and becoming hated by that fanbase, wouldn't you have picked Selanne? It's weird how he's now the greatest Duck in their short history. Also, that question I just asked was gramatically fucked.

15 comments:

Earl Sleek said...

Earl yesterday:

If the Ducks move enough salary, however, that Teemu gets signed for something like $2M, at that point I'm more in favor of doing 1-year deals for Teemu.

Earl today:

Aw, who gives a damn? Woo hoo! Two more years of Teemu!

Anonymous said...

As always Rudy you bring a smile to my face.

VeryProudofYa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
VeryProudofYa said...

Quick, someone knock a few of Teemu's teeth out so he'll score more than a point per game.

We'll call it the Hatcher initiative.

Ksy92003 said...

Teemu is a funny name. Sorry, but that's all I care about him.

Laydownthelaw said...

Did you know that, in french, Teemu means "you're soft"?

... just sayin'

Tom said...

That's a pretty sweet deal for the Ducks. Even in geriatric mode, Selanne brings more than $2.6M worth of value to the team. I agree, it's strange to think of him as "The Greatest Duck", but at this point there's not much room to argue against it.

brokeyard said...

I don't think Pahlsson leaving would create enough space according to hockeybuzz.com. To be honest, I think it might be Todd Marchant that needs to go. He's getting payed about the same as Teemu but he's not going to put up anywhere near the same numbers.

RudyKelly said...

I know, I just wanted to make Earl's heart skip a beat.

Earl Sleek said...

Earl will probably have more analysis...

Actually, that's probably not coming that soon, as now I'm neck-deep into AOL Pacific previews.

The Stars' preview runs today, I'll have a Ducks' preview some time tomorrow, and a Sharks' preview on Thursday.

In related news, I haven't officially decided yet, but my Anaheim All-Time Team post may be moved back until next week. Grumble grumble Fanhouse grumble.

spade-in-victorhell said...

im not in hockey mode yet....zzzz...this is a good wake up call..

earl u gonna check out any games at the new ontario facilty this year?

im close to that place

RudyKelly said...

Fuck yeah, Spade's back.

Alexander Dubcek said...

If you had to bet in 2000 on either Teemu Selanne, Paul Kariya or Rob Blake abandoning their team and becoming hated by that fanbase, wouldn't you have picked Selanne?

Maybe, maybe not. By 2000 both Blake and Kariya had held out (though I believe Blake only held out part of training camp and didn't miss actual games). But it's still weird how Selanne became more beloved than Kariya.

spade-in-victorhell said...

yea rudy...to tell u the truth i was devestated being bitched by the boring ass dallas starfuckers....I went on a misson to the alaska and found out that indeed ala full metal jacket that eskimo vagina is mighty cold

the whole team ready on day one this time...could be our year..

Jargen said...

Jesus looks good for his age...