Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Kings Gameday: Poor Dion

LA Kings (arr?) @ Phoenix Coyotes (29-25-4)

6:00 PST, FSN West






In the first period, Phaneuf tried to hit 6'7" Brian Boyle and got dropped like a sack of shit. He got his revenge later, hitting Boyle from behind as Boyle beat out an icing call.

In the second period, Phaneuf got bowled over by Dustin Brown. He slashed Brown out of frustration and got a penalty, putting his team down 2 men. Whoops!

In the third, Phaneuf got rocked in the corner by 5'9" Jeff Giuliano. Everyone just kind of felt embarrassed for him by that point.

Guh?


Later in the third, Phaneuf missed a check on little Kevin Dallman (who played an amazing game, by the way) and lost his helmet. Finally, dejected and morose, Phaneuf silently said to himself, "Fuck this," and went to the bench. Not his best night.

So, to recap, Phaneuf got embarrassed all night, Iginla had one measly second assist, and Kipprusoff let in 6 goals on 25 shots. Nice core, Calgary, good thing they took hometown discounts (They graciously accepted $6 million? Saints!) or else your team might be fucked. Don't worry, though, there's no precedent for signing 3 great players and then sliding into last place because you can't fill in the rest of your team. (Psst! I'm talking about Tampa. And relax, Calgary fans, I'm just dicking around, don't leave me 5,000 word essays in the comments about how different Calgary is from Tampa.)

***

Old friend Craig Conroy played last night and did a pretty good job shutting down Anze Kopitar. He had a little tiff with Jack Johnson, but I'm willing to give Craig the benefit of the doubt on that one. Kopitar's line has trouble when another team puts their best line out against them, as Calgary did last night, but it doesn't really matter if Alex Frolov is going to pretend he's Joe Thornton out there. Honestly, I'm starting to fall in love.

***


Who in the hell are you?!?!?


Phoenix has been a nice little story all season, but they finally looked in the mirror and said, "Hey, we're Phoenix, we can't be good!" and started sucking again. I would think they were only good because of Ilya Bryzgalov, but if you look at their stats a big part of their success has been francophobe Shane Doan and Radim Vrbata. Radim Vrbata has 25 goals this season! Radim Vrbata! Who the hell is that? I like to think I am pretty up to date on the workings of the Pacific Division, but I have to admit I was barely aware the guy existed until 10 minutes ago. "Radim Vrbata" sounds like something my sister would make up in Scrabble. Still, he allegedly has 25 goals this year, so I guess he's good. The Pacific Division is probably the best division in hockey and I can't really see it getting any easier next season.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. Goals by Frolov, Purcell, and Brown. Phaneuf gets checked by the bus driver on the trip over to Anaheim and gets all huffy about it.

13 comments:

Kirsten said...

That has to be the best game recap ever. I loathe Phaneuf when he's not playing for Team Canada, so I was quite gleeful to see that he got his ass owned in the corner by someone shorter than I am.

Bryan said...

I concur. Phaneuf is quite overrated.

VeryProudofYa said...

Now dion knows what it's like to run into a brick wall.

Seriously, that was the most embarrassing he's had happen to him since he tripped over Ruutu's stick in the midst of challenging him to a fight.

Chris in Torrance said...

Phaneuf was hammered the whole night, it was great! After the 9-2 annihilation of Buffalo, this was the next best game I've been to all season!!

Anonymous said...

Someone needs to get over the fact that there sister kicked there ass in scrabble.

Chris in Torrance said...

I've got your back on this one Rudy.

Someone needs to learn the difference between there, their and they're (their sister kicked their ass). Guess we know who really got their ass kicked in Scrabble, don't we?!

Anonymous said...

"Someone needs to learn the difference between there, their and they're (their sister kicked their ass). Guess we know who really got their ass kicked in Scrabble, don't we?!"


I'm glad that I have better things to do on a Saturday night than correct peoples grammar and spelling on a hockey blog.

chris in Torrance said...

Oh yes, critisizing someone's hockey blog on a Saturday night is much better!

Anonymous said...

"Critisizing?" How about "criticizing". It's acceptable to correct on Sunday morning.

chris in torrance said...

touche

MetroGnome said...

Heh. Flames have played like that a lot recently - by "that", I mean badly. Phaneuf will have his revenge in the future, so I wont bother to defend his honor now.

As for the victory - Keenan played the Flames incredibly useless 4th line too much and Crawford was more than happy to send out Frolov and Armstrong against them (two of your best overall forwards I would say). The result? 3 goals and the difference in the game.

Also, Conroy's been pretty good this year. He's basically Calgary's shut-down center now. The problem? He also plays in top 6 (ie scoring) role. If Keenan had Conroy in a Pahlsson like trio with a solid top 6 besides, the Flames would be a much better squad. Bah well.

Doogie said...

And relax, Calgary fans, I'm just dicking around, don't leave me 5,000 word essays in the comments about how different Calgary is from Tampa.

The difference between Calgary and Tampa is that Tampa won in '04.

Sincerely,
Doogie
Oilers fan in Calgary

Iffy said...

A very nice beat down on Sutter's core ...

and to further Doogie's comment.

I don't think Tampa has a spelling bee champion like Dion in the line-up:)

Sincerely
Iffy
Oilers fan in Calgary