Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Kings Gameday: It's Fun to Pretend

Los Angeles Kings (15-25-2, thud) vs. Calgary Flames (21-14-7, 5th in West)

7:30 PST, FSN West

The Alexander Ovechkin rumor mill has begun! Will he actually going to be traded? Of course not, he’s Alexander Ovechkin! Still, that’s not preventing some people from speculating on where he might end up if he were traded. The Kings make an attractive option because of our plethora of young talent and this idea that L.A. needs an attraction in order to draw fans. (You know what's a big attraction? Winning.) John Buccigross, the earnest sports writer over at ESPN.com, came up with this trade:

To Washington

Johnathan Bernier
Jack Johnson
Mike Cammalleri
Our #1 Pick

To L.A.

Alexander Ovechkin
Chris Clark
"Top Defensive Prospect"
Their #1 Pick

Now, I love John Buccigross, because I think he’s one of the few people writing today that you can just tell loves hockey, but: are you out of your everloving mind??? This isn’t even that bad of a trade for the Kings; the whole thing doesn’t make any sense. I think a problem people always have when coming up with trade ideas is that they always complicate them too much. I suck at trades too, but let me see if I can simplify it a little.Why swap #1 picks if they’re both going to be high? Just get rid of them both. And the Kings aren’t trading Jack Johnson. If they did, they'd be the just like the Washington Capitals and then what's the point of doing the trade? Get rid of him and the “top defensive prospect” and insert a guy like Lauri Tukonen instead. And get rid of Chris Clark, I don’t want his goofy ass. Now, the trade becomes:

To Washington

Johnathan Bernier
Mike Cammalleri
Lauri Tukonen

To L.A.

Alexander Ovechkin

So the Caps get the eventual replacement to Olaf Kolzig, a young sniper who will probably score around 30 goals a year, and a good forward prospect. They can have someone like Peter Harrold if they want, too. The Kings get Alexander Ovechkin. Now I have no idea if that’s a good trade because I overvalue our own players, but to me that seems as good as Washington is going to get if they really want to trade AO and his contract burden. Put Ovechkin with Kopitar and Brown and you instantly have the third best line in hockey.

Who wouldn't want that on their team?

Of course, this would never happen and it’s kind of stupid to even talk about, but hey, this is a blog and this is what we do. What do you guys think?


The Kings play the Calgary Flames tonight. I don’t mind the Flames too much; I think Iginla is a little overrated (although not this year), Dion Phaneuf’s head kind of looks like Jim Carrey’s at the end of Batman Forever, and Mikka Kiprusoff is hilariously inept for a guy who just signed such a big contract, but they have Craig Conroy so I’m cool with them. Still, I hope the Kings beat the shit out of them tonight.

Prediction: There is no shit-beating in Los Angeles tonight. (Well, not at Staples anyway. I don't know what Earl has planned tonight.) Kings lose, 4-2. Goals by Kopitar and our old friend Craig Conroy as a gesture of respect. What a great guy.


CKim said...

Bernier's not going anywhere.
JJ's not going anywhere.
I'd be ok with Cammy going.

I'm assuming he's referring to Karl Alzner for their "Top Defensive Pick" who I'd be stoked to see in a Kings jersey. Imagine JJ, Hickey, and Alzner making up the blue line. Damn.

Bucci mentions putting Brown on the 2nd line if AO were to come here. Fuck that noise; Brown is not a second liner.

Earl Sleek said...

I assume there would be soft riots in Washington if OV were traded; what else do they really have going for them? Street crime?

That said, I'd sell a piece of the farm to get OV. Paired with Kopitar, that would be murderous.

Oh, and my shit-beating tonight is probably going to be tame; I'm still in recovery from last night.

Cheechew said...

I am also a big fan of Buccigross. Especially when he drops hockey comments during non-hockey Sportscenter highlights. Plus he answered an email that I sent to him once. The best line of the article "Put Anze Kopitar with Ovechkin and any upright mammal and you have a No. 1 line."

KMS2 said...

"Put Anze Kopitar with Ovechkin and any upright mammal and you have a No. 1 line."

Haha, ok, that's pretty good. Maybe I should give Bucci another shot. But the rest of his proposed trade is asinine. I can't imagine DL trading Jack or Bernier. I can see him trading Cammy and quite honestly...I could deal with him being gone. But overall, no way is OV going anywhere. If he did I bet later that night the Caps would leave town and set up shop in Indianapolis.

DMG said...

One of the biggest misconceptions about the Capitals is that they lack talent outside of Ovechkin, which isn't true; that's why there's no way they'd tread Ovechkin for a slew of young prospects. They have Semen Varlamov and Michael Neuvirth in the pipeline to replace Kolzig, have Clark and Semin for scoring depth on the wing and are carrying eight defensemen and hold Karl Alzner's rights, so I don't think they'd be too interested in this trade. That's really the thing - through their rebuild the Caps traded for and drafted so many young players that they really arent short of depth anywhere in terms of prospects.

Earl - what else do they have going for them? The NHL's rookie of the month from Decemeber, one of the league's highest scoring defense corps (which is also one of the youngest), the league leader in goals from a defenseman, the leader scoring amongst defensemen at the world juniors, the captain of Canada's world juniors team, the starting goalie from the Czech world juniors team and a 23 year old who scored 38 goals last year. And a whole lot of solid depth players and prospects.

MetroGnome said...

Here's my obligatory gloat post.