Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

How to fix Marleau/Wilson

Ok, it's just my own opinion, but I think you could point to tonight's home game against Detroit as The Most Important Game Of The Season. Yeah, there are games against Anaheim, but this represents a battle against 1) the best team in the league 2) the Sharks' own home woes 3) the team that smacked them down last season. And by now, everyone knows that Patrick Marleau and Ron Wilson are still in the middle of some passive-aggressive hissyfit.

If I'm Doug Wilson, I fix this tonight by inviting the two into my office for an afternoon meeting. In my perfect world, the following conversation takes place between three grown men. Actual spoken words in quotes, subtext in parentheses.

Doug: "Dudes..." (Dudes, what's wrong with you?)
Ron: "Dude!" (It's not my fault. It's Patty's fault.)
Patty: "Dude. Seriously." (Dude, not this again.)
Ron: "Dude..." (Dude, get over it.)
Doug: "Dudes!" (Stop it. Be grown ups. Talk to each other)

Doug gets up and goes to the door. "Dudes." (Dudes. Work it out.) Doug leaves.
Patty: "Dude?" (Hey Ron?)
Ron: "Dude." (Yeah?)
Patty: "Dude. Seriously." (Man, the way you keep throwing me under the bus sucks. I mean, I know I'm not Mike Grier, but I've got a pretty good track record of being a quality NHL player. I'm a human being too. I have emotions. Work with me here. I need some positive reinforcement.)
Ron: "Dude...dude." (You're right. I have been bitchy to the media. That's my bad.)
Patty: "Dude?" (Honest?)
Ron: "Dude." (Yup. It's my bad. But I need you to step up too.)
Patty: "Dude!" (You're right. It starts tonight against Detroit!)
Ron: "Dude!" (Damn straight. You're our captain. I need you and Joe to lead the charge.)
Patty stands up and puts his hand out. "Dude." (All right. We're committed to winning this together.)
Ron stands up and takes Patty's hand. "Dude." (Yup. Here we go.)

Doug opens the door. "Dudes? We cool?"
Ron: "We cool."
Patty: "We cool."
Doug: "Dudes." (Let's go get Detroit.)

4 comments:

Earl Sleek said...

Heh, this would have been pretty funny to do with Marleau and Wilson and Wilson.

Anonymous said...

Dude?To much with the duuuuuuuuude.ROFL

Snap Wilson said...

You forgot to throw in Ron saying, "Hanta Yo!"

Megalodon said...

Something is preventing the Sharks from playing as well as their record.
They've won a lot of one-goal games this season, and that's gotta be credit to Nabokov. With Nabby struggling the last couple of games, the team is showing all its weaknesses again.

Perhaps Nabokov is rusty? Maybe playing Griess was a mistake...