I Wear Black On The Outside...

...Because black is how I feel on the inside.

(Bonus points if you know where that quote is from.)

Word from the Icethetics blog (formerly Tournament of Logos) is that a little more than half the league will have 3rd jerseys next season, and the Sharks will be one of them. Apparently, they're going to the "If it ain't broke..." way of thinking (which they should have done when they had awesome jerseys) and are going black, all black.

This is good for me because I hate the white jerseys and I have a dark Roenick one. Since I'm a Dan Boyle fan from his Tampa Bay days and I didn't want to have two teal jerseys, this is the perfect opportunity.

However, this takes me back to when the original Sharks 3rd jersey was released. I remember back then thinking that it looked like a practice jersey except that someone had stapled some V-shaped patches on the side. Technically, I still think it looks like that, but they grew on me, especially now that I still haven't accepted the new Sharks design. In fact, you know what would be fantastic? If they just took the OLD Sharks 3rd jersey and made that the NEW 3rd jersey -- alternate, retro, and just plain better than the ones now.

Either way, I'm getting a Boyle 22. And did you know that if you love #4, you have your choice of McLaren or Blake right now?

Cal Worthington and his dog Spot > Los Angeles Kings

D.C. may have Eastern Motors, but they got nothing on Cal Worthington and his dog spot. If you have lived anywhere in California over the last 20 years you have been bombarded by this random car salesman hawking the worst looking automobiles imaginable while riding everything from grizzly bears to a flock of penguins. The commercials usually aired in the coveted 1-4AM time slot, better to appeal to the less than sober consumer.

According to NHLscap.com, the Los Angeles Kings are sitting at a 2008-09 salary of $29.5M. A whopping $27M under the $56.7M salary cap and $11.2M under the $40.7 million salary cap floor. With 10 NHL forwards under contract and 4 NHL defenseman, a dip into free agency and the continuation of Dean Lombardi's rebuilding youth movement are definite possibilities. With the free agent ranks approaching Who's Left? territory, launching an offer sheet on restricted free agents becomes more attractive by the minute.

Before Barry Melrose accepted the head coaching job with Tampa Bay, he said that he thought the open San Jose Sharks position was the best one available in the NHL. New Kings head coach Terry Murray takes over a Los Angeles Kings team that tied Tampa with only 71 points, but based on win totals the Lightning (31-42-9) edge out the Kings (32-43-7) as the worst team in the NHL. While the Lightning have gone off the deep end signing almost 2 teams worth of NHL forwards, the Kings are another story. During the press conference today announcing Terry Murray's hiring, general manager Dean Lombardi said, "I think this is the toughest job in the National Hockey League right now". With an incomplete NHL roster, a hole in the crease and several young defenseman expected to fill significant roles on the blueline there are significant question marks for Los Angeles moving forward. Unless 2008-09 is going to be the season-long campaign to draft John Tavares first overall, Lombardi needs to identify targets, specifically a goaltender (Khabibulin?) and a veteran NHL defenseman who can absorb minutes like brawnee paper towels, then work the phones to make it happen.

If you need a better goaltender, go see Cal. For the best deals on defenseman, go see Cal. If you want your buyout payments low, if you want to save some dough, go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal. Any player, any team, go see Cal. If you want one who uses afrosheen, go see Cal. Its a giant supermart, save a bundle play it smart, go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal.

[Update] Murray to be introduced as the Kings' new coach, Flyers assistant will be the 22nd man to hold the top job for L.A., succeeding Crawford - Los Angeles Times.

New NHL Schedule, Projected Winners and Losers

For the last three post-lockout seasons, each team's regular season schedule has consisted of 32 divisional games, 40 in-conference games, and 10 out of conference games. Starting this year, the new format will feature 24 divisional games, 40 in-conference games, and 18 out of conference games (essentially eight divisional games have been moved out of conference).

So I decided to take an overly-simplistic look at which teams might enjoy the new schedule, and which teams might not. Basically, this table looks at the results from last season, and shows where teams got their standings points. The last two columns project how those results would have looked in the new schedule, and what the point difference projects to be.

(click image to enlarge)
Teams that struggled in their own division will probably enjoy the new schedule; same with teams that dominated the opposite conference. Take a look at where your team stands, and feel free to comment on my lazy, overly-assumptive approach.

Sharks Sign Kinch and Westgarth

Who are they guys? It sounds like a comedy show on VH1. Sounds like more depth for the Worcester Sharks.

The schedule was announced today. Highlights:

-Eastern teams coming to SJ include: Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Washington, Toronto, NY Rangers, Tampa Bay. Greg Jamison must be doing cartwheels in the front office. He could not ask for a better group of eastern teams to visit.

-The longest road trip is only 5 games? We are so used to seeing 8, 9, or even a 10 game trip each year during February.

-Opening night versus the Ducks. I don't remember the last time we have ever opened versus a division opponent.

Rob Blake has finally made his way on to the roster on the Sharks website. The big question is what number he will be wearing. If we cannot get rid of the human pylon Kyle Mclaren, Blake will be forced to choose a new number. #44? Sorry, Vlasic has that one.

Is anyone else concerned about the lack of a Ryane Clowe contract? A few weeks ago both sides said they had a handshake agreement and the only thing left was Clowe to decide how many years he wanted. This better get done before Kevin Lowe comes in and offers him and 8 year deal for $80 million.

Went to Tahoe for the celebrity golf tourny last weekend and got some good pictures w/ Roenick (playing golf w/ a stogie in one hand and a Bloody Mary in the other..nice), Sakic, Lemieux. Big disappointment to not see Gretzky on the day I was there. Will post some pictures once they are uploaded.

BoC announces roster cut

Well, I blew it. Just a month after bringing in the Puck Drop’s Ken Armer to help cover the Ducks end of this blog, we’ve already parted ways. It’s entirely my fault for not doing any actual research on his newspaper-like writing style, but I think stylistically it created a clash of sorts, and I decided to pull the plug.

Nothing against Ken, who's definitely been enthusiastic about blogging for the Ducks, but if hockey blogging can be equated to a cereal box, Ken provides the straightforward listing of the FDA recommended daily allowances per serving, while BoC’s legacy is in providing the idiot kids’ puzzle on the back of the box. Both are certainly valuable functions, but it’s a wide open internet, and I decided that BoC should stick to its strong suits—creativity and original content. I don’t want to get this blog confused with “press release” sites; we try to keep it obvious which side of the glass we sit on.

Also factoring in: my “time-crunch crisis period” is nearly over. I’ll be moving down to Irvine over the next couple of weeks, but with a significantly shorter work commute I should be freed up considerably to devote a bit more time to Ducks writing and blog art.

So unfortunately, Ken got “Bochenski’d”—a short-term fill-in who didn’t fit in the grand scheme. Could this whole thing have been handled a lot better by Blog Overlord Sleek? Undoubtedly—I hate playing blogmaster if I don’t have to, and making a decision to part ways wasn’t easy on either of us, but I figure it’s for the best. Really, my lazy hiring was the culprit, and it boils down to the fact that I’ve been spoiled on this blog; I didn’t do hardly any research to investigate the writing of the other contributors, but we’ve evolved into a fairly blended style, none of which you’d find in a sports page or official site.

Anyways, full props to Ken for his contributions to this blog and handling the break-up very well. Ken’s certainly kept his chin up, and has already taken the BoC dream to the next level by starting up the Battle of the Pacific, which is in the process of recruiting contributors, but already has something we’ve never had—a voice for the Phoenix Coyotes. Go check it out; it certainly promises to break news faster than BoC’s laid back approach.

-------------------------
As for the Ducks, there’s been some minor news of late, but nothing that’s terribly post-inspiring. In terms of "big picture", after the Ducks were eliminated last spring, I listed out my five major questions for the summer, and most of them have been addressed. I’ve marked in bold the questions that still need resolving:

1. Is Scott Niedermayer going to retire, and if not, can the Ducks find a trade partner to take Mathieu Schneider off the payroll?

2. How much will Corey Perry sign for, and for how long?

3. Is Teemu Selanne going to play another year? If not, when's the retirement ceremony?

4. Is there any truth to the rumors of Brian Burke pursuing a GM position in Toronto or Vancouver?

5. What does the future hold for Jonas Hiller?

Other than the Lowe-Burke media feud and the unforeseen Bertuzzi buy-out and subsequent B-Mo signing, the summer’s gone very according to projection, I’d say. I keep getting in trouble for calling it a “boring summer” for the Ducks (we didn’t fire our coach or have any real money to spend), but considering last year’s shortest summer ever and next year’s mostly-empty roster, it’s probably a nice change of pace.

Still, with only two major issues remaining and two months until training camp, expect some more Sleek nonsense as the summer drags along.

Go Ducks (eventually).

The Kings Don't Want Your Detritus, Part II

You know that stupid rumor Dubcek covered yesterday? The one reported on Hockeybuzz, that was completely retarded and obviously made up? Apparently, the Ottawa Sun think it's good enough to go with. The trade?

Chicago gets: Anze Kopitar

Ottawa gets: Nikolai Khabibulin, Brent Seabrook/Cam Barker

LA gets: Andrej Meszaros, Martin Gerber

Puck Daddy does a good job skewering this trade ("Why in the name of Mike Milbury would the Los Angeles Kings do anything with this trade offer except drop the phone in uncontrollable laughter?"), but I can't get over how bad this trade is. It's kind of depressing, in a way, that someone would actually think Kopitar is worth Andrej Meszaros and Martin Gerber. I mean, really? He's 21 years-old and he's probably the best young player in the NHL outside of the Big 3 and he's worth a shitty goalie and a pretty good young defenseman? Weird. Maybe I need to start putting up flyers around Ottawa or something.

We should all be warned, too, that this is the beginning. From now on, we're going to see stupid "Does Kopitar want to stay in LA?" rumors and half-assed $.30 cents-on-dollar trades for Kopitar until he signs a new deal. "Why is Lombardi trading Kopitar?" "Would this deal work?" "You should take this deal because Kopitar will get tired of losing soon." It'll probably happen for Johnson as well. Bunker down, folks; it's going to be a long year.

Brian Willsie Will Not Die

Brian Willsie signs a one-year deal with the Colorado Avalanche. Man, wouldn't it be awesome if he fought Ivanans?

Kings Close to Hiring Terry Murray

...Who's Terry Murray?

Apparently, Terry Murray is a former coach of the Flyers, Caps and Panthers. I'm pretty sure he was the one that called Eric Lindros a choker after they got their asses kicked by Detroit and was fired. He's had 9 seasons in the NHL and only one of them has been a losing one, so that's a plus. He was an assistant coach with Philadelphia prior to this so we know he has a working relationship with both Dean Lombardi and Ron Hextall.

Oh, and he's Bryan Murray's brother.

I have no idea how this is going to work out because I don't know too much about Murray's philosophy or anything like that, but hey, at least the Kings will have a coach now. Welcome aboard, Terry Murray. Try not to fuck up.

Guest Post: The Kings Don't Want Your Detritus

(Alexander Dubcek is a Kings fan and a filthy commie. Here's his take on rumor mongers and the shitty trade proposals they shit out. Shit.)


Dear Rest of the NHL Universe,

Hi. You've probably forgotten about us. I can't blame you. We haven't done anything to warrant your attention in a few years, except when you pause for a moment to ponder the lottery (which we always manage to screw up one way or another).

It's easy to make a joke of hockey in L.A. (Just look at our abysmal record over the past, oh, forty-one years.) Kevin Lowe takes a potshot at the Ducks, but no one notices the Kings. We're too pathetic to be called pathetic. You can't be arsed to expend the effort to belittle us, even though Kings fans might more fairly be called "pathetic" for shelling out big bucks to turn out in droves (more than 94 percent of capacity) for the train wreck known as the Brian Willsie Experience and the Kevin Dallman Project.

Not that I'm complaining. We're a sufficiently self-hating bunch that we can bemoan and belittle our own foibles without any outside help, thank you very much.

No, the bigger problem comes on those rare occasions when folks from hockey "hotbeds" and "traditional" markets actually try to say something about us.

Plenty of rumors get bandied about in the offseason, some of which even involve the Kings. It's about the only time we register on the radar of media types outside L.A. But Canadian writers, East Coast writers and commenters all around the league don't bother to do their homework on reporting these rumors. (Is it too much to ask to check out Rich Hammond's site to check your crackpot theory?)

So we get things like the New York Post speculating Sean Avery could re-sign with the Kings with Marc Crawford canned. (Never mind that Dean Lombardi, who put Avery on "double secret probation" at the beginning of Avery's last season in L.A., is still calling the shots as GM.) Or all the wild "Malkin to L.A." rumors before the draft (a great move for a team sorely in need of defense, rather than offense).

And now, the new one making the rounds, a threesome involving Ottawa, Chicago and the Kings, a rumor in which every Ottawa hack is indulging in their wettest dreams of prying away our best players for a pu pu platter of bad contracts. Here are some of the rumors Ottawa fans keep throwing around as if they're plausible deals that would send Martin Gerber (not good enough to start on three different Stanley Cup Finals squads) and some bags of pucks to the Kings:

"But I am hearing Kopitar and a prospect is from the Kings."

"If the Kings are giving up Kopitar and a prospect they better be getting something serious in return and if they aren't lets cut Chicago out of the mix and just get Kopitar..."

""I can't see them moving Kopitar either. Frolov maybe???"

""Spezza to the Kings from the Sens. Vermette and Neil plus a pick to the Hawks. Prospect plus pick to the Kings from the Hawks. Kopitar from the Kings to the Sens. Barker and Khabibulin from Chicago.

"Ottawa gets loaded somehow. Chicago unloads salary and gets some good player value in return. Spezza's 7 mil contract helps LA get closer to the cap and also gives them a potential superstar talent in return plus they get a prospect and pick out of it too."

"To LA: G Khabibulin D Barker

To Chi: C Vermette RW Neil

To Ott: C Anze Kopitar"

"I could see...

To LA: Meszaros Vermette 1st Round Pick (Ottawa)

To Chicago Neil Gerber

To Ottawa Khabibulin Kopitar Barker"

And, well, it just goes on from there. Supposedly Ottawa's a good hockey market (being the capital of Canadia and all), but clearly good hockey market does not equal fan base with a clue.

So, please, Ottawa, Edmonton, New York, and all other parts north and east of L.A. -- if you're just going to pull these rumors out of your ass, do us a favor and keep ignoring us.

To paraphrase an old axiom: If you don't have anything intelligent to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.

***

Why do we as fans hate bad trade proposals so much? It could be that we're just offended by the sheer stupidity of them, or we're upset at the lack of respect the player on our team receives, but I don't think that quite explains it. I think I get upset because I am presented with a world where the Kings don't have that player. That's okay when it's someone like Armstrong or Preissing, but when it's someone like Johnson I get scared. I'm scared because I'm confronted with the reality that someone like Kopitar or Brown or Robitaille or Hrudey will not be a King forever, that time will pass and that someday they'll be gone. I know Kopitar won't be on the Kings forever, but I don't want to think about it for the same reason I don't think about my parents' deaths. It's legitimately terrifying to me, and I cannot help but react violently to it. Rationally, I know these trade proposals are all bullshit and they wouldn't happen in a million years, but that irrational lizard part of my brain can't help but respond. I avoid sites like HockeyBuzz not because they're retarded (and they are), but because if I read them I'd probably suffer a stroke within the week. It's easier for me to just say, "Fuck you!" than actually consider the proposal and its consequences. So, fuck you, I guess.

Random Hockey Alert!

The Kings have been running their prospect development camp the past week and today they're going to broadcast the final scrimmage through their website. Game starts at 3 PM. It'll probably be stupid but it's hockey in the middle of July and it's not like you people have jobs or anything.


Team A Notables: Jonathan Bernier, Linden Rowat, Drew Doughty, Joe Piskula, Bud Holloway, Trevor Lewis, Andre Rankel


Team B Notables: Jeff Zatkoff, Oscar Moller, Alec Martinez, Wayne Simmonds, Marc-Andre Cliche, Viatcheslav Voinov, Colten Teubert, Andrei Loktionov, Drew Bagnall


Guys in bold are guys that might see time on the Kings next season. Thomas Hickey isn't playing because he just got pins taken out of his ankle. If you're bored, here's an article on my pet project, Marc-Andre Cliche. If I'm able to catch a good part of it I'll chime in with my uninformed opinion later today. Go Kings.

Update:

I think you know something's gone wrong in your life when you're watching a development camp scrimmage online in the middle of July. Anyway:

-The White team won, 1-0, a score that speaks to the disparity between offense and defense in the Kings' pipeline right now. That's okay, I guess, because the opposite is true on the big squad. The lone goal was scored by Garret Roe, the 7th round pick this year, on a nice play by Drew Drewiske.

-Doughty looked nice, destroying someone along the boards early on and making 2 0r 3 nice end-to-end rushes. He just controls the game when the puck is on his stick.

-Trevor Lewis was probably the best forward on the Purple Team, showing good puck possession and vision on the ice. Hopefully he'll step up this year in a more offensive role for Manchester.

-Oscar Moller is pretty awesome (although he needs to put on some weight) and Wayne Simmonds is a fucking freight train. Right now he's got all the coherency of a Dragonforce song right now, but he's going to be exciting to watch for the next few years.

The whole thing was ridiculous and low-rent, but it was fun to watch and I'm glad the Kings put it online. Now I'll have something to go back and watch when the Kings are mired in that 10-game losing streak in January.

Bobby Ryan Looks To Show He's The Right Man For The Job in Anaheim

Recently within the Anaheim Ducks organization Bobby Ryan has begun to catch a lot of attention. It originally began with the free agent market with those analyzing the Ducks depth chart began to expect Ryan to be placed in the lineup full time this year, rather than have him split time between the Ducks and minor leagues.

Until lately I was pleased with the slow going development of Bobby Ryan, until Kevin Lowe made comments about the young Duck recently as a jab at getting a rise out of Ducks GM Brian Burke.

Lowe said that Ryan was a “questionable pick”, but my question is why does he even care? That is for the Ducks to worry about, and the Ducks organization seems happy with Ryan’s development.

Personally, I’m very pleased with Bobby Ryan’s development. I don’t believe in putting a rookie, regardless of his talent, instantly in the lineup. That’s a lot of pressure. Ryan has developed enough with split time between Portland and Anaheim to do well enough to be expected to pull a regular shift on the second line.

Not bad for a questionable pick if you ask me.

I am not writing this article to shake up more issues regarding Lowe’s comments, but instead to raise knowledge of the 2005 second overall draft choice.

The 21 year old, 6’1” 218-pound Right Wing was born in Cherry Hill, New Jersey and was drafted out of Owen Sound of the OHL in 2005, right behind Sidney Crosby. Regardless of who you are that’s hard company to keep.

Brian Burke believes in development of draft picks, much like I do, and even with a pick such as Crosby would have probably made him find his way in the minor leagues. Ryan did exactly what Burke and the organization have asked of him, split your time, produce, and grow as a player.

Well Bobby Ryan, now is your time.

With a second line spot open for Ryan on the depth chart he will look to capitalize on the great year he had last year. Ryan appeared in 23 games, scoring five goals, (three power play) and five assists for 10 points. Ryan also recorded six penalty minutes in those 23 games.

During the playoffs Ryan found himself back in Portland with the Pirates who themselves were chasing a championship. In 16 AHL playoff appearances Ryan led the Pirates in points with 20.

For Bobby, he finds himself with a spot with his name on it on the depth chart. Not many guys heading into camp who spent half the year in the minors ever get to say that, and far fewer see their name on the second line.

There are extremely high expectations for Bobby, with Lowe having called him out now would be the perfect time for Ryan to show the Ducks, and the rest of the NHL what he is really made of. With the youth movement in the forward lines in Anaheim it’s a great time to be a Duck fan.

Image: Courtesy of CBC

What Now? Part 4

There seems to be a lot of confusion in Kingsville recently. Basically, no one knows what the hell is going on and no one has any idea what Dean Lombardi is thinking. Lombardi recently did an epic 7-part interview with the Press-Enterprise that can clear things up somewhat, but he's kind of all over the place and I know you people hate reading so I'll try to explain things a little bit.

It seems to me, from interviews and other shit I've culled over the past year, that Lombardi's original plan was this: scrap together a core centered around Cammalleri, Frolov and Visnovsky and go with that until Johnson and Kopitar are older. Preissing and Handzus would work in that core and then transition to a lesser role as other Kings' prospects came up. This obviously didn't work. Cammalleri got hurt and Visnovsky sucked and the Kings finished 2nd to last. Lombardi realized that the Kings wouldn't make the playoffs as currently constructed and decided to trade Cammalleri (who would probably leave the team next year) and Visnovsky (who would be too old when the younger players are in their prime) for players that will be with the team when the younger core is ready.

People are upset because they thought the Kings would make the playoffs this upcoming year; the bungling of free agency and the failure to sign Stuart or Orpik has made it clear that it's not going to happen. The Kings aren't good, but they aren't rebuilding anymore either. Their reserve list is full of promising young prospects and they have no tradeable assets (unless someone really wants Derek Armstrong). There isn't anything the Kings can do except wait, and I think that kills some people.

Next season, the Kings will learn a lot about who they are and who deserves to stay with the team. We'll discover if the 1st wave of prospects (Boyle, Moulson, Purcell and Piskula) have panned out and then determine which prospects will be available to acquire a good defenseman. Then the Kings will be ready to make the playoffs and start ascending the ladder. This year will be hard, but believe me, it'll be worth it. Worst case scenario, the Kings land either John Tavares or Victor Hedman. Not bad.

Lombardi has fucked up a couple of times in his tenure, but his overall vision has been excellent. He came to a team that had a potential superstar and he built a team that will have a great supporting cast when that superstar is in his prime. He's acquired 2/3rds of our core for the future (Bernier and Johnson), he traded for Patrick O'Sullivan, he signed Ted Purcell, and he's drafted excellently in the admittedly short time period we can evaluate. All the other stuff doesn't really matter because the core that will lead the Kings to the playoffs is intact. I mean, look at Dan Cloutier: if he had come to the team and played like Roberto Luongo, it wouldn't have mattered. They wouldn't have won the Cup. What Lombardi is doing is biding time until the young guys on the team have matured, and his way is the best way to win a Cup. There's still pitfalls to be traversed, like signings said young guys and hoping none of them develop a cocaine addiction and all that, but the idea is sound. The Kings will be very good in a couple of years and it'll be fun and I'll make fun of the Ducks and the Sharks all the time, I swear. Until then, though, we wait. Hey, we're Kings fans; waiting is what we do.

Special Guest Post: Marcel Goc

As most of you are aware, Marcel Goc writes for the San Jose Sharks website. His blog is, in a word, amazing. My pal Megalodon was able to convince Marcel to write a special post for you people here at Battle of California. Ladies and gentlemen, Marcel Goc.


Hello again and welcome to my blog. My name is Marcel. I hope you enjoy it.

I have been in Germany for the summer. It is nice to be home. California has nice weather but every day is the same. In Germany we have seasons, which I miss sometimes. But sunshine is nice too.

Many changes have happened for the team in the past few weeks! I haven't been paying much attention, but my good friend Christian Ehrhoff told me that he has re-signed with the team for three years. That is good. He is also from Germany, which is where I am from too.


I have been playing a lot of chess. I can usually beat my grandfather most of the time. He has a weak brain. He is 96.

My agent handles all the business stuff for me. He told me that we are going to do something called "arbitration." He said that means I will get more money. I do not really care. As long as I have hockey, chess, and SOCOM, I am fine. I would like to get into the lineup more though. I am a good player. I am definitely better than Jody Shelley, who has a name like a woman. He has a weak brain.

In Germany every July we have a big summer festival. It is kind of like July 4th in America, but instead of fireworks we throw stones in the air. When someone gets hit with a stone it is a sign of good luck for the year. It is lots of fun, especially for the children.


I am confused about one thing. When I look at the Sharks website roster, my name is not there. Did my name get taken off because of this "arbitration"? That makes me sad.

Well, I had better go now. Christian Ehrhoff is coming over and we are going to play SOCOM. I can usually beat him because he doesn't know how to concentrate. He has a weak brain.

Happy Sleek Day!

That's right, kiddos, it's Uncle Sleek's birthday today, turning a ripened old 31 years old and getting quite near that stage of life where I can start retiring once a year. If you want to know why I come off so satisfied and smug on this blog, that you can blame squarely on birthdate numerology, which has blessed me with an inordinate amount of luck.

7-11-77. It rhymes, it multiplies, and it stinks of good fortune! My whole life I've kept an eye out for good luck, you know, just to see if the birthdate prophesy was being fulfilled. I've certainly been fortunate on a lot of levels, as I'm sure a lot of us have. This blog, for one, is mostly a creature of luck, and a ton of thanks to the fellow bloggers and readers who keep it all chugging.

Another lucky thing: I've got a new nephew coming soon whose due date rivals my own, 8-8-08. They haven't told me the kid's name yet, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to call him "Ocho".

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I do want to talk about Brian Burke's unique version of media silence yesterday, but today's not a fair day to do it. I'm off with the folks and siblings to Napa Valley, and won't be back until Tuesday. So a full post/dialogue will have to wait until next week, but here's a quick bulleted version.

• I think only one of Kevin Lowe's comments deserved a public response: SoCal being called a "pathetic hockey market". Everything Burke did beyond addressing that singular point was unnecessary and foolish. Foolish isn't all bad, though; I certainly had a good chuckle at Burke's goodie-two-shoes lawyer impression.



• I think we should acknowledge SoCal for what it is: a maze of Laker fans. It's still a market that does need to be won over, but that is an important feature, not a flaw. A developing fanbase that does demand results amidst competition is not a bad thing, even for a Canada-strong league. It can serve as a more measurable barometer of hockey's entertainment value than the always-full houses in Edmonton.



• One other takeaway: I think Brian Burke is stuck in Anaheim the rest of the year. Tom Benjamin had me convinced that Burkie was going to leave midseason and Dave Nonis would take over, but how can Burke go to Toronto now? Now that he's turned "tampering" into a league buzzword, he's painted himself into a corner.

Anyway, that's a rough draft of some thoughts; feel free to discuss while I'm gone. I'll express my thoughts a bit better when I get back to SoCal.

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For now, it's time to blow out some candles and start some drinkin' (for me, Napa-style!):



Hockey news on the front page? I wish!
Go Ducks.

Steve Montador is a Duck

According to Hockeybuzz Steve Montador signed a $900k contract. Montador is a defenseman, who recently played for Florida.

This move is expected to be a sure sign Schneider will be moved.

Anybody know anything about Montador?

BoC United: Schneider for Tukonen

The Los Angeles Kings need a leader. Right now they're deplorable on defense and need someone to help muster their woeful defensive unit into something resembling a fighting force. They need a leader on the power play, preferably left-handed. Most importantly, they need a solid, dependable player who can show this young team how to act and perform in the NHL. Oh, and he should be Jewish.

Not him. He's a Muslim Christian, not a Jew.

The Anaheim Ducks need space. They're right up against the cap and they need room for Teemu Selanne. They have a plethora of defenseman and can move one of them for the requisite cap space. They need to find a team that has plenty of cap space and needs a defenseman. They can't take too much salary back in return, so hopefully that team will have plenty of prospects or picks next year to trade. The Ducks have one more good run in them; they just need another team to help them out.


Friends, I come before you as a Ducks hater from before the team took the ice. I've mocked, ridiculed, blasphemed and slandered the Ducks for as long as I've known the word "gaytarded." But it's foolish pride to let one's own biases get in the way of what's good for the franchise, and what we have here is a good opportunity. The Kings need a veteran defenseman, the Ducks need cap space. Why shouldn't the two teams help on another? Earl, Ken, and I have discussed this and we have come to the same conclusion: the Ducks should trade Mathieu Schneider for Lauri Tukonen.


Ducks fans might feel this deal is a little one-sided. ("Why should we trade a good defenseman for some guy and also I'm a douche bag?") First off, assholes, the Ducks aren't really dealing from a position of strength; teams know that the Ducks are severely hindered if they don't move some salary around. Plus, you can't really afford to get a roster player in return because you need the space, so it's pretty much just down to prospects. Secondly, Tukonen is a unique guy. He was drafted 11th overall in 2004 but has been done in by injuries and under-performance so far. He needs a fresh start with another team; the Kings have always had an expectation that he'll become a superstar, but with another team he can focus on becoming a solid complementary player. He's great in the corners and an excellent forechecker, attributes greatly appreciated by Brian Burke. His career maps out similarly to Rob Niedermayer and the Ducks could help guide him. If you want the Kings to throw in a 4th or something, fine, whatever. The only other real option are the Ottawa Senators, and I don't see those two teams matching up.


Kings fans might wonder why they should help the Ducks. ("Why should we give them space to sign Teemu Selanne and possibly win the Cup again?") First off, you beautiful babies, we should do this deal because it's good for us. The Kings need a power play quarterback and Schneider is good at it. It's retarded to not do something because the Ducks might also gain something. Plus, if the Ducks do win the Stanley Cup, they can't rub it in our faces because they wouldn't have been able to without our help. I mean, let's be honest, this may be the closest we come to winning the Cup for a while. Losing Tukonen will hurt, but the Kings already have Dustin Brown, Ted Purcell, Oscar Moller, Wayne Simmonds and Marc-Andre Cliche at the right wing position. And hey, maybe the Kings should do it because it's what's best for Tukonen.

So, there you have it. The Kings should trade Mathieu Schneider for Lauri Tukonen. It might feel awkward to play one another, but we'll get used to it. Neville Chamberlain and Adolf Hitler once set aside their differences to come to an agreement in 1938; if they can do it, why not the Kings and the Ducks?

Maybe your favorite player just doesn't care

Could you blame Bertuzzi if he hated hockey?

I'm one of those guys that cares too much about sports. And considering the fact that you are reading this post, you probably care a little bit too much as well.

Sometimes, it's important to remember that in a lot of cases, fans simply do care more about the outcome of a game than most of the players. Sure, fans don't have to take cortisone shots to numb the pain that comes with going from shift to shift and game to game; a lot of us simply live and die with every save and every goal.

But as I beat up on Todd Bertuzzi and Rudy grits his teeth when Jordan Staal gets nominated for a Calder over Anze Kopitar, it's pretty amusing to think that a lot of these athletes would roll their eyes or pull our shirts over our heads and gives us a beating for being such sports nerds.

The (typically) tragic story of James Felton is one of those sports stories that "puts things in perspective" and is generally a fascinating read.

According to Rana, the criticism fueled her husband's drinking. And it mixed badly with a secret no one in the neighborhood or gym knew. For as long as she'd known him, Rana says, Felton didn't like basketball. Didn't like playing it, never watched it, tried to avoid talking about it. He didn't even own a ball. "James lived in denial about basketball," she says. "Every day, he'd pretend it was something he liked. It ate him alive. Having to do what you don't want to do will make anyone sick."

It won't stop me from making cheesy and unfair jokes. And it won't keep me from being endlessly fascinated about a glorified children's game.

But it is funny to realize that a lot of these guys could give a rat's ass what we think (or are more interested in that cougar in Row 3 than a "must win game").

Inaugural Battle of California 2007-08 photo contest

Save for one entry from 2007, vote for your favorite photo on Battle of California this season. There is Marc Edouard Vlasic giving George Parros flying lessons, Craig Rivet pounding Ryan Carter into jiblets part 1 and 2 (do Ducks have giblets?), and Dustin Penner meets ice-ice wins. Unfortunately 2007-08 was a relatively Pronger-Perry free photographic output.



Bonus Photo - Parker vs Parros 2007.

Summer Battle of Northern California reading

Sharks coverage on BOC has dropped off a little since the end of the season, and the fact that Northern California has essentially been on fire for 3 straight weeks does not appear to be a major factor. Drawing on a flaming Wild Wing and a thick low lying layer of smoke for inspiration, here is a short recap from Sharkspage of what has gone down in the land of cheap software and expensive offensive defenseman:

• Max Giese of Sharkspage posted a very thorough 2008 Sharks Entry Draft (ptII) review article, with contributions from several NHL scouts and a few comments by other draft related sources. The first part of the Sharks 2008 Draft Review written by yours truely is available here. Included in that post is a video clip of Darren Pang expressing shock that Phoenix Coyotes first round selection Viktor Tikonov spoke English. Yes, San Jose residents can occasionally be accused of speaking English.


• Free agent defenseman Brian Campbell signs 8-year, $56.8 million contract with Chicago Blackhawks, New York Rangers sign Patrick Rissmiller. Judas, thy name is Brian Campbell. One problem many fans in San Jose have with what went down is the fact that his departure was a foregone conclusion. Instead of feigning that taking $7+ million with Chicago, Atlanta or Ottawa was a difficult decision, acknowledge the fact beforehand and fans have more respect for you. Campbell is tremendously gifted with speed and skating ability matched by few defenseman in the NHL. He also basically evaporated against Calgary and Dallas in the playoffs. If you are brought in to spark the Sharks transition and move the puck on ice, and you consistently hesitate and take it back behind your own net, there are going to be questions. Major questions for Chicago next season: how effectively will he be on defense, will he transform the Blackhawks power play, and how well will a young team respond to Campbell in a leadership role.


• San Jose Sharks sign defenseman Rob Blake to 1-year deal adding a power-play quarterback, report Sharks are pursuing Tampa Bay's Dan Boyle. A number of Kings fans are noting Rob Blake's declining production over the last season. In San Jose he will play a much different role, as the Sharks will have three solid defensive pairings they can use in any situation. Blake will be counted on more to bomb shots on net from the power play than to provide a #1 defensive role. I have a feeling with Marleau, Thornton, Pavelski, Clowe, Cheechoo and Michalek fighting for rebounds, Blake's numbers are not going to look too bad after 2008-09.


• Veteran defenseman Craig Rivet traded to Buffalo for 2009, 2010 2nd rounders. This is a trade that had to be made for salary cap considerations, but one that nobody likes north of the grapevine.


• Dan Boyle, Brad Lukowich, and Sharks general manager Doug Wilson discussed the recent trades on a conference call with local media.


• Sharks Trade Analysis: Blake, Boyle and Lukowich add missing pieces of the puzzle for Sharks power play and playoff problems. A lot of words essentially boil down to the fact that Boyle could have a bigger impact in San Jose than the brief Campbell experiment, and Rob Blake is the type of proven veteran who has been there and done beat up a lot of Anaheim Ducks.


• Defenseman Christian Ehrhoff signs 3 year, $9.3 million contract. This shores up a large chunk of the Sharks blueline for the foreseeable future, but salary cap issues could force a trade for Kyle McLaren. The future beyond Rob Blake is also a little less clear with Matt Carle, Ty Wishart and a 1st round draft selection headed to Tampa. AHL rookie Derek Joslin should be next in line, and will take more of a leadership role in Worcester this season. Hard hitting Boston College fresheman defenseman Nick Petrecki, who won a National Championship this season, remains as the Sharks top overall defensive prospect. The Sharks may need him to regulate at HP Pavilion before the end of his four year run in college.


• Sharks hire Stanley Cup winning Detroit Red Wings assistant coach Todd McLellan to be the 7th head coach in San Jose franchise history. Some fans were a little irrated at the lack of questions asked by the media at the press conference, there is a hand held 6 minute video of McLellan answering questions from the AP's Greg Beacham, a local television reporter, and from Tony Khing of the Sharks included in that post. One rumor has Trent Yawney as a possible assistant coach.

That is all I have for now. War Sandis Ozolinsh for President.

Sleek gets ImMirtle-ized. Go Pigs!

That'll do, pig. That'll do.
So I was mostly without internet today, and didn't see this until late. Apparently the Ducks' AHL affiliate, now in Iowa, came out with this new name and logo. And it wasn't until I read this post that I realized that as a Ducks fan, I guess I'm supposed to be outraged.

Ummmm, sorry, but I really can't care one bit. In fact, I'm mystified that this bothers Ducks fans at all.

• As far as I'm concerned, Des Moines is no closer to SoCal than Portland (ME) was. So long as it's not accessible by television, it's completely off my radar. I've only seen one AHL game in my life -- during the lockout they televised the AHL All-Star Game. This is a logo I'll probably never see.



• As for the logo itself, what's there to get upset about? Didn't we Anaheim fans spend a decade rooting on a cartoon farm animal? Hey, I'm a guy who firmly believes that all team names and all logos are inherently stupid, and anybody who is going to stand up for a Red Wing or a Maple Leaf and ridicule a Duck or a Pig needs to argue with somebody younger than me. I do prefer having a logo to not having one, though; two years later I'm still sort of miffed that the Ducks chickened out and went with a non-offensive "text only" design.



• Besides, there's plenty of ways that I can draw a pig. And that's exactly what king of bloggers James Mirtle jokingly challenged me to do. He started this blog, so I felt obligated, and I'm kind of happy with how it turned out -- click here to see it.

Go Pigs.