Kings Gameday: "Hooray!" and "Boo!"

(Hey, look at me, I'm Rudy and I suck! Just kidding folks - Megalodon here, putting up Rudy's gameday post for Saturday, since he's off somewhere with my Ducks-fan roommate. I'm not quite sure what they're up to, but I'm sure they're both nude by now. Anyways, enjoy Rudy's stupid post!)



Los Angeles Kings (7-8-0, 5th in Pacific) vs. Dallas Stars (7-7-2, 1st in Pacific)


7:30 PST, FSN West

Kings Record in November: 1-1





The Kings are finally playing again after sitting around for a week while the Lakers and Clippers started off their seasons. (How retarded is it that two NBA teams share one arena? That NBA, so dysfunctional....) The good news is that the Kings weren't left in the dust by any Pacific teams while they were idle; they're still within 4 points of the division lead. Since the Kings are almost 20% through their regular season, I thought this would be a good time to kick off a new series of mine, named after the greatest commercials in television history.


Hooray, Young Forwards!

The young guys on the Kings are progressing very nicely. Kopitar seems to have adjusted to teams focusing on him, although he still holds on to the puck too long on the power play. Dustin Brown isn't hitting as much as he did last year, but that's actually a good thing. He's spending more time playing good defense instead. Cammalleri (who is fast becoming my sister's favorite player despite her inability to say his name) has been potting goals at a ridiculous pace, aided by his now-patented "one knee slapshot." (How does anyone tell when he goes to his knee?) Alex Frolov went through the most productive slump in the history of the NHL earlier in the season and has probably been our best forward the last couple games. And Patrick O'Sullivan has been a revelation. How did he go from being a one-dimensional goal scorer to grinding two-way player in one off-season? Also, he said this on Thursday over at Inside the Kings:

"Technically, I should have it on for another week or two,'' O'Sullivan said. "But if we worried about doctors and technicalities then none of us would be playing hockey."


That's pretty badass. Retarded, but badass.

One of them is Lubomir, but I don't know which...

Boo, Top Line Defensemen!

While the young guys have been leading the Kings, the two highest-paid guys on the team haven't exactly been pulling their weight. Both Rob Blake and Lubomir Visnovsky have not been playing good defense this season. Blake looks slower than last year (somehow) and I think it's about time we stop giving him top-line minutes. I still like him on the penalty kill, but the Kings should probably "advise" him to take himself off the first power play unit and replace him with someone, anyone else. Lubo, as much as I hate to say it, hasn't been playing well this season. It seems to me that a memo went out to the rest of the league that you could bump Lubo off the puck if you get to him as soon as he gets it behind the net, and he hasn't adjusted well. I'm giving him a grace period because he looks like a sprite, but the Kings are counting on him if they're going to continue to be .500.




Hooray, Jack Johnson!

"Wow, he looks really good, maybe I underesti-"

Jack Johnson, on the other hand, has been a pleasant surprise. I was expecting him to make a lot of mistakes and take a lot of dumb penalties, but so far he has been fairly reticent to commit either. The Kings have taken to putting him on the penalty kill where I think he's responded quite well. Now is the time to put him on the power play, whether with Lubo or with Tom Preissing. At the same time, though…



Boo, Jack Johnson!

"-ohGoddammit."

…for this hit on Milan Michalek:

(Megalodon's note: At this point in the article, Rudy attached an embedded video of Johnson being an asshole against Milan Michalek. That link didn't work any more, and I can't find any other video of it, so use your imaginations, okay? He can fix it if he wants when he gets back. I've got shit to do - like cursing the Sharks are the guy who invented shoot-outs.)

I'm sorry, but that hit was bullshit. Michalek was held up along the boards by Derek Armstrong, got rid of the puck well before Jack got to him, and then Jack jumped about a foot in the air as he hit Milan. He didn't get his elbow into it, but that's probably more luck than anything else. That's the stupid shit you can't do if you're going to be a top defenseman in the NHL, Jack, if only because the Kings can't afford to have you off the ice. Just because you play like Chris Pronger doesn't mean you have to be a complete piece of shit like him too.

Hooray, Bailey!

Rudy: You know, I think this Bailey character is a really cool cat. He's really the cat's meow. In fact, I'd go even say he's purr-fect.


Meg: Ha... you done?

Rudy: Yeah. Still though, you have to admit that he really does the lion's share of work at Staples.

Meg: (pulls out gun) Seriously, one more cat pun and I am shooting you in the leg.


Rudy: Hey, I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to hurt your pride. I was only kitten. Seeing you so upset really gives me paws.

Meg: Alright, that's better. Wait a minute... (blam!)

Boo, Dennis Miller!


I guess when they decided to name the show "Unfiltered," they meant they weren't going to filter out all the shitty jokes. "Watching that show made me about as comfortable as Philip Fabricius during the Second Defenestration of Prague!"

That's it for this edition of "Hooray!" and "Boo!" The Kings are playing .500 hockey, which is nice. At the same time, I know they can be better. All their good will goes out the window if they play as terrible as both Anaheim and San Jose both did against Dallas. Raitis Ivanans will probably not play after getting hit in the God damned face by a Rob Blake slapshot, so Scott Thornton will be carrying the hammer tonight.


Prediction: Kings win, 2-1. Goals by Johnson and Cammy.

BoC Gameday—Somebody's takin' the Pacific tonight!

San Jose Sharks (7-7-1, t-7th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (6-8-3, t-7th in west)

Hell yeah it's gameday, and even though I've spent the last month in a pretty steady whine, I'm optimistic. I don't know why, really. I've been to Honda Center twice this year and have yet to see a Ducks goal. Fortunately, they still serve liquor at the ol' HC.

Anyways, I'll be in Row B tonight, sporting the lucky green and needing a haircut (maybe a coat, too; weather's been weird here--haven't seen the sun for days). And I'll be dutifully reminding Roenick of his career goal total, so he can free his mind to concentrate on other things. Like which team he wants to sign with next summer, for instance.

The Sharks come in with a pretty ridiculous see-saw record. O-W-L-W-L-W-L-W-W-L-L-W-L-W-L. It strongly suggests that they are due for a win tonight, but that doesn't dismay me. If I were a Sharks fan, though, I'd start wondering what would happen if Nabokov didn't have to start all 82. (From this fantasy owner's perspective, though, I say "Go for it, Nabby!")

It's really funny, but despite both teams falling short of early expectations, one of them will be atop the Pacific standings tonight. JavaGeek quantified something I've been noticing on the out-of-town scoreboard. For whatever reason, there are 40% fewer overtime games happening this year than the previous three seasons. I suspect it means teams are getting better at holding leads, but in a more practical sense, it means that the playoff bar has been lowered this year--there are just less points being distributed. Last year it took 96 points to make the playoffs in the west; I suspect that number will be much lower this year.

Prediction: My predictions have sucked this year, so today's prediction is in the form of a cartoon--a duck kicking its way out of a shark stomach. Strong kick by Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Scott skates! Sleek makes a cartoon!

Unfortunately, you're going to have to go over to the Fanhouse to see it. I would have put it here, but I think your mouse-clicking finger is looking a little out-of-shape. Time to give it a good ol' one-click workout.

Just so this isn't just a useless "look at that!" post, though, I will point out that I will be in Row B attendance for tomorrow's BoC battle--Sharks at Ducks. I plan on being very boozed up so that I can properly remind a certain Shark player of his very nice near-accomplishment:

It should be a lot of fun, whether or not history gets made. Let's hope that I don't get Robitailled.

[AFTERNOON EDIT: Below is a cartoon that will not be making its way to the Fanhouse. It's not that it's not allowed, but really, there's no good story to write alongside it. Besides, the cartoon requires two things: (a) a fairly strong understanding of NHL goaltending styles, and (b) a fairly strong tolerance for puns. It's designed for a narrow audience--cool yet corny. Enjoy!]

Guest Post: Sharks Time Capsule #2

(Here's another shitty post from Megalodon. I don't have the heart to tell him that he sucks at writing, so try and humor him in the comments. He tries so hard!)

In the Battle of California, the Sharks are the odd team out. Aside from their obvious geographic isolation, a number of other factors set the team apart, such as:

1. Their age. The team is not the respected older sibling or the over-achieving youngster. They are the forgotten middle child, working hard and doing the best they can, doomed to always be overlooked in favor of their older or younger brethren.

2. Their town. Los Angeles has a million things going on aside from the Kings, including the Lakers, Dodgers, and of course, their awesome football team whose name escapes me. Anaheim has Disneyland and the Angels (I think - although I must admit their name confuses me a bit). San Jose has the Sharks and...uh...well...a decent public-transit system? An airport? Jeez - wikipedia, help me out here.

"San Jose is the third-largest city in California, and the tenth-largest in the United States."

Okay, that's kind of impressive. I didn't know that. Got anything else?

"It is the county seat of Santa Clara County."

Nope. Anything better?

"By the 1990s, San Jose's location within the booming local technology industry earned the city the nickname Capital of Silicon Valley."

That smacks of a nickname that the city gave itself, so that's no good.

Holy crap, check out what they have to say about sports:

"San Jose has had previous attempts to draw teams from Major League Baseball, the NFL and the NBA by offering stadium deals or attracting relocating sports teams. In 1991 the San Francisco Giants baseball team nearly closed the deal to play in San Jose. ^{[citation needed]} In 1997 the Golden State Warriors basketball team after playing some games in the HP Pavilion nearly moved to San Jose. ^{[citation needed]} Neighboring Santa Clara recently announced (2006) a new stadium deal will break ground and be completed by 2009, as the new home of the San Francisco 49ers football team. ^{[citation needed]} San Jose may also soon house the practice facilities for the Oakland Raiders."

Well that's just sad. Like I said, San Jose doesn't have a lot going on aside from the Sharks - unlike the cities where the Ducks and the Kings play. Again, the Sharks are the outsiders.


3. Their logo. For some reason, the Sharks are the only team that actually depicts their mascot in their logo. The Kings have a crown (which is admittedly way better than an actual king, as we will see later in this post) and the Ducks have the word Ducks (great work, guys!), but the Sharks have an actual shark.


There are many other things that I could go into that set the Sharks apart from the other two California teams, but I would like to close by examining one difference that marks the Sharks as a FAR superior organization to either the Ducks or the Kings.

This final difference requires us to set our Way-Back machine to 1996, when the Kings and the Ducks did something that the Sharks didn't do. They did something terrible - something disgusting - something that should go down in history as a crime against the NHL and the human race. The mere fact that the Sharks DIDN'T follow the other California teams is reason enough to celebrate San Jose's independent, if lonely, ways.

What was this awful undertaking that the Kings and the Ducks shared? Be warned - the following images may cause dizziness and vomiting, and should not be viewed by anyone with eyes.

Oh god! What the hell is that thing?

Oh no! There's another one!

There. You've seen them - you can't un-see them. I would like to submit these images as proof of San Jose's dominance of the Battle of California for all time, regardless of how any games played actually turn out.

OT: Ilya Kovalchuk is Really Good

(I originally put this up a while ago but took it down to write about Dustin Brown's contract. I'm not doing all the math again (you do it!), so just know that Kovalchuk has scored 10 goals since I wrote this, including back-to-back hat tricks. Holy balls.)

I know, breaking news, right? I don't just mean "really good" in an All-Star way, though, I mean "really good" as in one of the greatest goal scorers in NHL history. I was watching a game the other day where Kovalchuk scored and the announcer casually mentioned that it was Kovalchuk's 205th in the NHL. I did a double-take; 205 goals, at 24? What the hell? He's added two more since then, putting him at 207 for his career. How good does that project out for his career?

(Disclaimer: This is fairly rudimentary analysis because I'm lazy and also a moron, so take it with a grain of salt.)

Who says Kovalchuk can't get the ugly scores?

Kovalchuk has played in 5 seasons so far. During that time span he's scored 202 goals, which averages out to 40.4 per season. Since he's 24, let's guess that he plays 14 more seasons and then retires when he's 38. At his current pace, Kovalchuk would score 566 more goals; that combined with the 202 he's already scored, would give him a total of 768, or 3rd all-time.

Now, don't go around telling everyone that I said Kovalchuk is going to score more goals than Brett Hull, because I don't want him showing up at my apartment threatening to kill me. So far in his career Kovalchuk has played in about 77 games/season, which seems unsustainable. (Although he loafs so much that I doubt he's going to get a groin pull or anything.) Also, assuming Kovalchuk is going to score 40 goals a season every year up through the long decline of his 30s is probably unrealistic. Plus, we have no idea how badly the lockout could end up costing him.

Ilya just scored twice while you read this sentence.

Still, there's a few things that make me think he could actually get to that number. Kovalchuk's career-high is 52, set in 2005-06; do you really think he's going to go another season without getting into the 50's or even 60's? That could off-set a couple down season where he only gets into the 20's in terms of goals. Plus, even without the lockout, Kovalchuk has gotten off to a fabulous start. Of the top 10 goal scorers in NHL history, only 3 have gotten off to a better start than Kovalchuk*: Steve Yzerman (229), Mario Lemieux (300), and Wayne Gretzky (429, which is just the most retarded thing I've ever seen).

So, what does this mean? I don't know, it just kinda struck me as interesting. It's weird how little press Kovalchuk gets though, especially when compared to his old compatriot, Danny Heatley. Say what you want about the rest of Kovalchuk's game, but 1/2 of the game is scoring goals; so far, he's been one of the best ever at it.


*I looked at each guy's career up to their age 24 season. A lot of the older guys took longer to get to the NHL because there were fewer teams, so they had to mature more. (Of course, those guys could play longer because they didn't really have to skate as hard.) Brendan Shanahan, Jaromir Jagr, and Joe Sakic sit at 12, 13, and 14 respectively on the all-time goal scoring list; only Jagr had a better start. I don't think anyone has gotten a better start among the younger players, although we'll see what Ovechkin has to say about it in a couple years.

AOL Sleek: It begins

Well, it took a couple weeks since I first announced it, but finally after a lot of paperwork and blogducation, I was able to contribute my first cartoon post to the AOL Fanhouse today.

I know I am supposed to be sticking with the west coast (and actually I have a Niedermayer post somewhat underway that was intended to be my first post), but how could I pass up a shot at former Ottawa cup-loser Mike Comrie and his starring role in the tabloids? Especially since the story was assigned to me.

Anyway, I'm still getting my feet wet there, but at least I've gotten over the initial hurdles (logging in, creating post, drawing cartoon to avoid photo-altering lawsuits). If you are feeling generous, why not head over there, leave a comment, and make me look like a superstar?

I've also added a link to the sidebar under "Anaheim Ducks" that will go straight to the Earl posts (more useful once I write more of them). Enjoy!

Ducks Gameday—I would kill for a 5-on-4 goal

Phoenix Coyotes (5-7-0, t-14th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (6-8-2, t-7th in west)

Stat of the Day: The Ducks have scored as many 5-on-4 goals in England (3 in 2 games) as they have in North America (3 in 14 games). And don’t get deceived by that latter stat—2 of those goals came within their first three games back.

In the last month, the Ducks have played 11 games (8 at home) and played more than 93 minutes of 5-on-4 hockey. In that time, they have scored only one goal (and gave up a shorthanded goal to offset it). Lately, a one-man advantage has meant no advantage at all.

That 5-on-4 scoring rate (0.64 G/hr) is atrocious. Using numbers from those same last 11 games:

• It's worse than their 5-on-5 scoring rate (1.54 G/hr)
• It's worse than their 4-on-4 scoring rate (6.22 G/hr)
• It's even wore than their 4-on-5 scoring rate (0.84 G/hr), if you can believe it.

I've even removed empty-net goals scored, or the differences would be more severe. Their one salvation has been 5-on-3 production (38.10 G/hr), but those instances have been fairly infrequent.


Carlyle's 5-on-4 gameplan
Here's my last depressing stat of the day. Take a look at Anaheim's goal-scoring leaders after 16 games. Perry has 8 goals, Kunitz has 5, Getzlaf has 4, McDonald has 2, and 14 players each have 1. Extrapolated to 82 games, that will mean the Ducks' fourth-highest goal scorer will have 10. Maybe more pressingly, the team projects at this point to a woeful 169 goals. And Getzlaf and Perry, the guys that need to be re-signed next summer, project to have scored 62 of those goals.

Sigh. Something's gotta give.

Prediction: I guess if there's a bright side to the Ducks' last outing, so far this month there have been five Pacific-vs-Pacific match-ups, home teams are 0-5 and getting outscored 23-5. So at least that suckage is offsetting. Ducks buck the trend tonight and get a win at home. Ducks 5, Coyotes 3. Goals by Beauchemin, Mowers, Pahlsson, and 5-on-4 goals by Pronger and Perry.

Go Ducks.

Memories: Hey, who's this new kid Oates?

I have been issued a challenge—at first generically by Legends of Hockey, then more directly by the Forechecker—to write a memory-post about a retired NHL player. Forechecker wrote about fond memories of Vladinator's reign of terror; I'll remember a guy who I only got to see towards the end of his career.

The Mighty Ducks signed Adam Oates in the summer of 2002, and I had some mixed feelings. I liked that the team was working on filling its top line (along with Paul Kariya the acquisition of Petr Sykora), and a passing center made sense, but I also was worried—could a 40-year old seriously keep up with the two speedsters?

It turns out I needn't have worried—there was a few things I wasn't considering:

a) Oates was smart. Very smart.

Of course I mean hockey-smart. You know, the anticipation that avoids hits, secures position, and comes away with the puck. As far as I'm concerned, Oates was off-the-charts. He wasn't the strongest guy, and certainly not the quickest, but he was pretty much all the time the cagiest. It was really something to watch—"Old Man Oates" (as I frequently called him) knew where to get the puck and where to send it; his linemates were quick enough that footspeed didn't really become a factor.

b) Oates wasn't playing the same game the rest of the league was.

Take a look at the blade of his stick. It doesn't get wider near the toe; it instead sort of comes to a point. We'd often joke about how poor Oates was—his blade had been worn to the nub and he couldn't afford a new one. But really, it was essential to Oates' game—he wasn't interested in gaining any advantage on his shot. Most of his goals were essentially passed into the net. His edge was in puck control and passing; the backhand saucer passes that make scorers drool.

c) Oates was fast.

At least when he needed to be, he was surprisingly quick. I'd catch a guy racing out of the corner of my eye and say, "Hey, who's that new kid?" And damn. It'd be Old Man Oates, hustling like a training camp rookie. My favorite example was in R1 G4 of the 2003 playoffs. The Mighty Ducks had nearly done the impossible—winning the first three games against the defending champ Red Wings—but there was plenty of nervousness still. Detroit had the kind of roster (and I'm probably stealing somebody's clever quote) that not only could have won four straight games, but was capable of winning the next 16 straight.

Anyway, late in the first period of that game, desperation Detroit pulls ahead 1-0, but then opportunity! Petr Sykora gets clipped with a high stick and falls in true Sykorian fashion, so the ref raises his arm and puts the whistle in his mouth as Mathieu Dandenault lazily skates to touch up the puck. All of a sudden, in charges Old Man Oates. In one quick move, he manages to lift Dandenault's stick to steal the puck as he charges into the offensive zone. Only two other players continue playing (the rest anticipate the whistle)--Curtis Joseph, alone in his net, and Paul Kariya, streaking down the near wing. Oates draws the goalie and throws a pass to Kariya, who buries it, tying the game. Anaheim would end up winning the game 3-2 in overtime, completing a sweep consisting of four one-goal victories. I bet Dandenault still wonders how he got overtaken by a 40-year-old speedster.

There are two real tragedies in the Adam Oates story—one, that the Mighty Ducks lost in the SCF and Oates never got to win a Cup. But also, there seems to be a phase out in today's NHL of Oates' legacy—the pure set-up guy. Sure there are fantastic passers in the league, but everybody's still trying to be a shooter. Oates showed that there was a role and a career for a pure passer, one that didn't have to be a shot threat, and I miss that a bit. In any case, I'm glad I got the chance to watch a one-of-a-kind player like Adam Oates. Even towards the end of his career, he was well worth watching.

Rudy, Cheechew, you guys are tagged. Any memories about former NHLers you want to share?

The Problem with the San Jose Sharks

The Shark's inability to win in the playoffs is one of the more hilarious storylines in the NHL recently, and I think I've figured out the cause: they're all nerds. Without Scott Parker, there's not one single Shark that is a legitimate hockey player stereotype. (Well, Jeremy Roenick, but he's all the bad ones.) Let's go through the worst offenders:

"What's that? No, I like my hair like this. Hello?"

Joe Thornton: Joe Thornton has been the face of the team ever since he was acquired in 2005, which is appropriate because he seems like a huge goober. I'm not saying I wouldn't want to hang out with him (I totally would), it's just that he's a rube. I've seen him in 3 commercials so far: he's eating in 2 of them (the one where he keeps fucking up toast preparation is hilarious) and he's asking another man if his butt looks big in the other. Obviously, he's no Mark Messier. Well, he's probably the Mark Messier that cries all the time, but not the one that guarantees wins and then scores a hat trick and then has sex with your mother and all you can do is applaud his form. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Joe Thornton has an unhealthy body image.

Ayy!*

Patrick Marleau: I don't think Patrick Marleau knows how to talk. If someone told me he carried around a trumpet like the protagonist of The Trumpet of the Swan I wouldn't be surprised. Look at him, he looks like he's about to fall over at any moment. Plus, I have it on good authority that he once went to Water Park with two other Sharks when he was 25. I can't think of a single good reason for an adult male to go to a water park that doesn't end with an arrest for child abuse.

Ron Wilson: Ron Wilson wore a golf shirt the day before the Sharks played in a must-win game in last year's playoffs. That may not be bad, but it sure as hell isn't good.

Seriously, don't call me Doug!

Dog Murray (from Sweden): Dog Murray is awesome, but this interview kind of makes him look like a Mary. Seriously, who wants to go by Douglas? "Doug" is a pretty solid hockey name; "Douglas" is a 35 year-old 3rd grade teacher who still takes his laundry home to his mother. I don’t care if it sounds like "Dog" when they say it back in Sweden, my grandfather didn't lose his arm fighting those sons of bitches in the Crimean War so that they could mangle the English language. I swear, some of y'all people just ain't got no gadnum sense.

Milan Michalek: Milan?

Hello my name is Marcel would you like to play SOCOM?

Marcel Goc: The fact that he's named after a mime is bad enough, but Goc's real crime is his blog over at sjsharks.com. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore it, but if you read between the lines you realize that he's definitely a loser. For example (read these with a German accent for added hilarity):

My roommate is Christian Ehrhoff and he's an O.K. roommate. Really, he's great. He's quiet like me and we both like to read books and watch movies.

Today Mike Grier and I finished the USA Today crossword puzzle, so we were pretty excited. I do most of the writing and he figures out most of the words.

We Usually play PSP on the flights…. SOCOM is the game we play…. Wes Howard, our assistant trainer, isn't very good either because he just hides in the game.

(About the earthquake) I called my family and let them know we were o.k., but they hadn’t heard about it yet. My dad told me over there around 1970, they had an earthquake and he looked out a window to see a tower swaying.

We had Tuesday off because of the trip, but I didn’t do much. I got to my house about 3 a.m. after we flew in from Dallas and got up at 9:30 a.m. I came to the rink for a little bit, but just went home.

As Meg pointed out, that last one is kind of devastating if you think about it. Can't you imagine him sitting around at home, nothing to do, and then going to the rink and just kind of wandering around, looking for someone to talk to, then sighing and going home and sitting on his couch some more? Poor little guy. Still, nerd.

So there, that's the problem with the Sharks: they're nerds! I guess when you consider the region the Sharks play in, it all makes sense. San Jose is overrun with nerds, so what better way to attract them to your game than by featuring dorks?

*This picture is why I could not be an NHL GM, because I would absolutely refuse to draft someone who looked like that. He looks like he just told his doubles partner a delightful zinger about his butler's inability to make a proper martini. "And I said, 'Jeeves, if I invested as well as you made a drink, I'd be penniless!'"

Ducks Gameday—Pacific Points

Dallas Stars (5-6-2, t-12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (6-7-2, t-7th in west)

As this is Pacific Month, I thought I'd just show how all 5 Pacific teams have fared in division games since the emergence of the unbalanced schedule. I've shown results by opponent and by home & road.

1. Dallas Stars

Split	GP	Record	Pts	Pct.	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
vs. Phoenix	18	13–5–0	26	.722	57	45	18.0%	82.8%
vs. Anaheim	17	11–4–2	24	.706	42	39	17.9%	86.8%
vs. Los Angeles	18	11–6–1	23	.639	59	50	22.4%	82.7%
vs. San Jose	17	9–6–2	20	.588	41	46	19.4%	86.0%
Home	36	22–12–2	46	.639	100	94	17.7%	83.1%
Road	34	22–9–3	47	.691	99	86	21.6%	85.8%
Total	70	44–21–5	93	.664	199	180	19.5%	84.5%

2. Anaheim Ducks

Split	GP	Record	Pts	Pct.	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
vs.Phoenix	18	14–3–1	29	.806	61	36	26.0%	90.6%
vs. Los Angeles	18	10–4–4	24	.667	60	49	29.7%	80.9%
vs. San Jose	16	9–5–2	20	.625	52	44	18.5%	80.9%
vs. Dallas	17	6–8–3	15	.441	39	42	13.2%	82.1%
Home	34	21–8–5	47	.691	120	86	24.4%	82.4%
Road	35	18–12–5	41	.586	92	85	19.7%	84.7%
Total	69	39–20–10	88	.638	212	171	22.0%	83.6%

3. San Jose Sharks

Split	GP	Record	Pts	Pct.	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
vs. Los Angeles	18	13–5–0	26	.722	67	47	25.5%	82.7%
vs. Dallas	17	8–5–4	20	.588	46	41	14.0%	80.6%
vs. Phoenix	16	8–6–2	18	.563	49	49	19.3%	80.8%
vs. Anaheim	16	7–8–1	15	.469	44	52	19.1%	81.5%
Home	33	15–13–5	35	.530	101	93	18.9%	83.0%
Road	34	21–11–2	44	.647	105	96	20.4%	79.9%
Total	67	36–24–7	79	.590	206	189	19.6%	81.4%

4. Los Angeles Kings

Split	GP	Record	Pts	Pct.	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
vs. Anaheim	18	8–7–3	19	.528	49	60	19.1%	70.3%
vs. Phoenix	16	7–7–2	16	.500	46	50	19.6%	76.7%
vs. Dallas	18	7–9–2	16	.444	50	59	17.3%	77.6%
vs. San Jose	18	5–12–1	11	.306	47	67	17.3%	74.5%
Home	35	16–15–4	36	.514	92	109	17.7%	74.3%
Road	35	11–20–4	26	.371	100	127	19.1%	75.4%
Total	70	27–35–8	62	.443	192	236	18.4%	74.9%

5. Phoenix Coyotes

Split	GP	Record	Pts	Pct.	GF	GA	PP%	PK%
vs. Los Angeles	16	9–6–1	19	.594	50	46	23.3%	80.4%
vs. San Jose	16	8–7–1	17	.531	49	49	19.2%	80.7%
vs. Dallas	18	5–9–4	14	.389	45	57	17.2%	82.0%
vs. Anaheim	18	4–13–1	9	.250	36	61	9.4%	74.0%
Home	34	14–15–5	33	.485	95	99	16.2%	78.7%
Road	34	12–20–2	26	.382	85	114	17.9%	79.9%
Total	68	26–35–7	59	.434	180	213	17.0%	79.3%

I'll probably provide an updated look at this before March, the next divisional play month.

Anyways, the top two teams in this Pacific battle go at it tonight, with Modano destined to set some sort of history tonight. Then later this week the Ducks can also allow JR's 500th goal, and heck, maybe they'll make SportsCenter. Prediction: Ducks 4, Stars 2. Goals by Perry, Marchant, Pahlsson, and McDonald.

Go Ducks.

If a Game is not on TV, Did It Really Happen

Due to Warriors and College Football, tonight's game was not on TV here in the Bay Area. So fans were left to listening to the radio or following the game on the internet. As he likes to do after losses, Ron Wilson decided to shake up the lineup. Healthy scratches included Ehrhoff and Rissmiller with Goc and Semenov taking their places. It looked like it worked for this night as the Sharks came back from their disappointing loss on Friday to win 3-1. This lineup juggling could be a continuing trend unless the Sharks get on an extended winning streak. Call it superstition or just looking for the right combination. It seems Ron Wilson is trying anything he can to get Cheechoo back on track. Cheech was put on the 4th line for the last few games but tonight had 1 goal and 1 assist.

Once again the Sharks are looking at a 3 day break. They are in a stretch of 16 days where they will play only 6 games. Yes it gives Nabby a chance to start every game, but this might explain the inconsistency of play.

It was reported on the telecast last night that Clowe was scheduled for knee surgery and would be out 4 months. Later in the game they updated the situation and said he was still being examined. Are the Sharks trying to hide the real extent of the injury? Either way it will be a big loss but the depth of the team will help as it will give a chance for youngsters Setoguchi and Kaspar to get regular time. If they fail, there are still Brown, Goc and Rissmiller.

Dallas comes to the tank on Wednesday.

Sandis Ozolinsh makes his debut in 5-2 loss to Los Angeles at home

Sandis Ozolinsh kicked off his return engagement with the Sharks last night against Battle of California rival Los Angeles. Ozolinsh logged 20:17 minutes of ice time, behind only Rivet (22:07) and Vlasic (21:10) on the San Jose blueline, and finished without earning a point or registering a shot on goal. There were a few lost edges and scrambling to get back into position in the first period, but after 20 minutes Sandis started to move the puck up ice with authority.

"I felt good. In the first, I got caught on a long shift and got out of rhythm. If felt good physically. It took me until the second period. That's when the shackles came off and I got going. The second half of the game, I felt a lot more comfortable." Ozolinsh told reporters after the game.

Patrick Marleau put the Sharks on the board in the first period, and the Sharks outshot Los Angeles 21-10. The opening minute of the second was more of the same. The Sharks pressured Jean-Sebastien Aubin, swarming in front of the crease. After Michael Cammalleri's goal at 1:43, assisted by Tom Preissing and Alexander Frolov, the wheels came off the San Jose attack. Every time they tried to build momentum, a Los Angeles player would make a play with the puck, or a mistake would lead to an odd man rush in the opposite direction. The Kings capitalized on their chances, the Sharks did not.

In the post-game media interview, Ron Wilson described his team as "fragile", and it is an idenity they are going to have to work themselves out of because right now it fits. Patrick Marleau mentioned a month of division-heavy games, and said that the Sharks could not afford to give any away even at this early point in the season.

The Sharks finished 0-5 on the power play, with several tremendous point blank saves by Jean-Sebastien Aubin. Aubin (2-1-0, .906SV%, 3.28GAA) finished with 45 saves on 47 shots, earning his second win of the season. Evgeni Nabokov (6-6-1, .899SV%, 2.46GAA, 1SO) also made several clutch saves in the first period, but the Sharks could not build on his stellar performance and the mistakes were costly. Nabokov finished with 25 saves on 29 shots.

Lukas Kaspar finished his second NHL game -1, with 12:46 minutes of ice time, but he was one of the bright spots down the stretch for San Jose. He has explosive speed, and he began to use his size more effectively than he has earlier in his career. Bernier also split the defense late in the game, and lifted a puck over the crossbar with one hand while holding off a defenseman with the other. Lubomir Visnovsky, as always, was a rock for the Los Angeles blueline. Kings left wing Matt Moulson out of Cornell University, scored a highlight reel goal in his first NHL game.

"Remember when Los Angeles had bad goaltending?" Earl Sleek offered via a text message after the game. LaBarbera is solid, he just needed to survive the initial "burn him at the stake" period from impatient Kings fans, and he has already reeled off 4 straight wins. Lubo, Preissing, Stuart and even Blake may be able to offset some of the mistakes Jack "JMFJ" Johnson is going to make early, but his talent is undeniable. Jean-Sebastien Aubin over Mathieu Garon might not be a call I would have made, but that is why they get paid the big dollars. Don't look now, but the Los Angeles Kings are in first place in the Pacific Division.

For more photos vist this photo gallery on Sharkspage. War Yutaka Fukufuji and Sean Burke!

Ducks Gameday—Two guys that should switch jobs

Anaheim Ducks (5-7-2, t-9th in west) at Phoenix Coyotes (5-6-0, t-13th in west)

One lesson that's been reinforced the last few weeks by Anaheim's punchless power play: personnel matters. When you've got the wrong guys in the wrong situations, it's sure tough to be effective. That same lesson can also be applied off the ice, though, and in that light I offer one suggested job switch that I think could really help the NHL improve its effectiveness going forward.

Candidate #1: Gary Bettman
Commissioner, National Hockey League
Depending on who you listen to, Gary Bettman has been either a clown or a villain during his reign as NHL Commish. Even aside from the policies the guy has had to promote (unbridled expansion, a season-long lockout, a mega-complex salary cap formula, untested rule changes, untested uniform materials, and selling a sport in the U.S. using its bull-riding network), he's also just not a very likable guy. Even when he's talking up hockey fans as being "the greatest fans in the galaxy", you can see the dollar-signs light up in his impish eyes. The guy is grabby, too; Scott Niedermayer had a heck of a time trying to extract the Stanley Cup from Bettman's slimy fingers—a cup that Gary never really earned the right to carry.

Why not consider someone who is trustworthy and charismatic with the job of Commissioner? Why not bring in some true hockey royalty—someone the fans can not only stomach but possibly even support? Someone worthy of handing the Cup to a champion, someone fans will believe has the best interest of the sport in mind.


Candidate #2: Wayne Gretzky
Head Coach, Phoenix Coyotes
There is such a guy coaching in the desert. Perhaps hockey's greatest scoring legend, who's been an ambassador for hockey since his teenage years. But whereas the Great One has been a symbol of on-ice excellence, thus far in Phoenix his story has been one of behind-the-bench mediocrity. Under his leadership, the Coyotes (who to be fair, have not put together the strongest roster) have finished 5th in the Pacific both of the past two years, and even though this year has started more promising (having shut out both the Ducks and Stars), they still start November with less standings points than their four Pacific neighbors.

Wayne is a guy who's hockey charisma is still off the charts, and while it has served as a draw for hockey fans in Arizona, it seems that it could be better utilized on a larger leaguewide stage. He's a guy I'd trust to keep the game of hockey as a priority, thinking both for team owners and players, something I'm not easily saying about Bettman these days. Plus, as a bonus, I wouldn't cringe when Wayne's hands touch the Stanley Cup—he's at least a guy who's earned it before.

As for Bettman as a hockey coach, well, that might not work out splendidly but I'd like to see if Gary is capable of actually generating worse results than Phoenix has put up with; there's hardly anywhere to go but up. Besides, Gary's vision has really been about promoting hockey in non-traditional markets; this would help him focus even more strongly on that vision.

So, it's just a lazy Saturday theory, but one that I think could work out for everyone. Put Gary behind the Phoenix bench and Wayne in the commissioner's chair and I for one would support it. Who's with me?

Prediction: Per my television, Wayne Gretzky has 72 wins in 170 games as a head coach. Won't it be nice to give the Great One his 99th loss? Ducks offense explodes, they throw 45 shots on net and win 2-1, both goals by Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Kings/Sharks Gameday: The Most Important Month of the Year

Los Angeles Kings (6-7, 3rd in Pacific) at San Jose Sharks (6-5-1, 1st in Pacific)

Kings Record in November: 0-0

7:30 PST, FSN Bay Area, NOT Fox Sports West

The Kings have been enjoying themselves so far, playing fun little games with teams from distant lands like Columbus, Vancouver, and Boston. Now the real season begins for the Pacific Division. Starting today, the Kings do not play a non-Pacific Division opponent until December 1^st. That’s 11 straight games. In fact, it’s pretty much like that for every Pacific team. This stretch is so important that I’d go as far to say that how the standings look at the end of November will probably reflect how they look at the end of the season.

Of course, since we’re going into such an important stretch, a King has to get injured. Kyle Calder will be out for about 2-4 weeks with a broken wrist and… wait, a month with a broken wrist? I’m sorry, I thought this was hockey, not golf. You don’t even shoot, Calder, you just let puck bounce off you. Quit being a baseball player and get your skates on.

Anyway, the Kings called up Matt Moulson (on his birthday, no less) to sit upstairs while Scott Thornton probably plays. Moulson spent four years at a little school called Cornell where he sang, along with Andy Bernard, in the a capella group Here Comes Treble. I doubt Moulson will ever become an important contributor to the Kings, but at least this’ll be something he can tell the grandkids about. Good for him.

Wait, wrong Molson...

The Kings go up against a Sharks team that’s really struggling to a… oh, wait, they’re 6-5-1. I thought with all the wailing wafting down from Northern California that they were 0-35-2. Patrick Marleau has struggled early in the season, tallying only 4 points in 12 games. Good thing he’s playing the Kings, his own personal slump-buster. Last season, Marleau had 13 points in 8 games against the Kings (including 7 goals), his best against any division opponent. I'm still not convinced Marleau knows how to talk (he might not even have a tongue), but he still scares me.

He communicates through dance, like a bee.

Being that these first two games are really important (division tests and all), of course they’re not going to be on television. I’m going up north this weekend to the land of microchips and marijuana so I thought I’d actually get to watch the game, but I guess people actually watch the Golden State Warriors so I’m probably shit outta luck. I could listen to the game on the radio, but who am I, Levi Strauss? I can’t sit there and just listen to a game, what the hell am I supposed to do with my eyes? Plus, TV has completely ruined my imagination to the point that it’s like… something.

I'm not using my brain like some sap!

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3, despite a 3-point effort by Marleau. Goals by Frolov (x2), Brown, and Lubo.

Ducks Gameday—Optimism, thy name is Schneidermayer

Columbus Blue Jackets (7-3-1, t-3rd in west) at Anaheim Ducks (4-7-2, t-11th in west)

For those of you Duck fans who are not taking the time to read Ducks Wire, I’d highly encourage it. It’s a great way to keep tabs on the latest Duck headlines, sort of a Kukla’s Korner for Anaheim and Portland news (better than waiting for me to become a credible news source). Anyway, if we believe the latest reports from practice, the Ducks are likely to have Rob Niedermayer, Ryan Getzlaf, and finally Mathieu Schneider in the lineup tonight. If so, this really figures to be the most complete lineup the Ducks have dressed all season—really the only missing piece (under non-suspended contract) is the concussion-stricken Bertuzzi.

(By the way, I'm not really sure what I meant to do with that picture on the right. Something about Niedermayer being Schneider's internal voice, a la Obi Wan Kenobi with young Luke, but it's not the most self-evident graphic I've ever made.)

I know my Ducks writing of late has been pretty pessimistic in nature, so I thought today I'd talk about one positive about the Ducks' crummy start to the season: at least it didn't happen last year. To illustrate, here's the 5 Pacific teams and their start thus far, along with how they started last season in the same number of games:

1. San Jose Sharks 12 GP, 6-5-1 (.542), 13 pts. 29 GF, 28 GA. PP 17.5%, PK 88.1%
Start of Last Year 12 GP 8-4-0 (.667), 16 pts. 40 GF, 28 GA. PP 28.0%, PK 85.9%
Key Metrics: Pts down 19%, GF down 28%, GA even, PP down 11%, PK up 2%

2. Dallas Stars 12 GP, 5-5-2 (.500), 12 pts. 33 GF, 33 GA. PP 19.2%, PK 87.0%
Start of Last Year 12 GP, 10-2-0 (.833), 20 pts. 38 GF, 22 GA. PP 15.7%, PK 89.5%
Key Metrics: Pts down 40%, GF up 15%, GA up 50%, PP down 4%, PK up 3%

3. Los Angeles Kings 13 GP, 6-7-0 (.462), 12 pts. 39 GF, 42 GA. PP 21.4%, PK 81.7%
Start of Last Year: 13 GP, 3-8-2 (.308), 8 pts. 25 GF, 36 GA. PP 10.1%, PK 85.3%
Key Metrics: Pts up 50%, GF up 56%, GA up 17%, PP up 11%, PK down 4%

4. Anaheim Ducks 13 GP, 4-7-2 (.385), 10 pts. 27 GF, 33 GA. PP 10.5%, PK 80.9%
Start of Last Year: 13 GP, 9-0-4 (.846), 22 pts. 42 GF, 28 GA. PP 20.6%, PK 87.5%
Key Metrics: Pts down 55%, GF down 36%, GA up 18%, PP down 10%, PK down 7%

5. Phoenix Coyotes, 10 GP, 4-6-0 (.400), 8 pts. 22 GF, 29 GA. PP 8.7%, PK 81.4%
Start of Last Year: 10 GP, 2-8-0 (.200), 4 pts. 19 GF, 44 GA. PP 9.2%, PK 76.5%
Key Metrics: Pts up 100%, GF up 16%, GA down 34%, PP down 1%, PK up 5%

Last year by this time in the season, there were already 18 points separating the top seed in the Pacific from the bottom seed; this year the spread is down to 5 points. And while the Ducks have the worst winning percentage of the bunch, it's better to be trailing the Sharks by 3 points and the Stars by 2 than if those teams had started with last year's start; then the deficit would be 6 points to the Sharks and 10 points to the Stars, and my panic would be much more severe.

At any rate, the Blue Jackets come in after beating out the Kings last night in what seems to be a typical Columbus effort: limiting goals against. In case you're not up to speed with the western standings, you may be surprised to note that Columbus leads the league in goals-allowed-per-game (1.82) and in penalty killing (93.0%). You may also be surprised to note that the Calgary Flames lead the west in goals-scored-per-game (3.50). It wasn't that long ago (2002-03) when the Flames were 14th in the west in team offense and the Blue Jackets were 15th in the west in team defense; talk about changing identity.

Prediction: The Ducks and Blue Jackets met up in Columbus early last month (part of the Ducks' whirlwind post-London fatigue tour) and the game was an Anaheim disaster. Fatigued and jet-lagged, the Ducks took 16 minutes to get a shot on goal, ended up being shorthanded for more than 20 minutes of gameclock, and surrendered 3 PP goals en route to a 4-0 loss. I'm optimistic that those trends won't be repeated. Let's say Ducks 4, Blue Jackets 2. Goals by Moen, Miller, Pahlsson, and the man I call Schneidermayer.

Go Ducks.