Kings/Ducks Gameday Megapost: Why I'm a Kings Fan

Vs.

Los Angeles Kings [2^nd! (From Last)] vs. Anaheim Ducks (Yeah, Yeah, Whatever)

5:00 PM, FSN Prime Ticket (and TSN for our Canadian friends)


When the esteemed Mr. Sleek asked me (read: threatened me) to write a column about why I’m a Kings fan and not a Ducks fan, I had trouble coming up with one reason; so many came flooding into my head that I needed to lie down for a while. It’s hard to write out what is so completely obvious to you that it need not be put into words; it’s like asking me why ice cream is delicious. After a lot of thought, though, I managed to narrow it down to a few main reasons. Here goes:

One, the Kings franchise has been around for longer than the Ducks. When the Mighty Ducks were just a twinkle in the eye of some retarded Disney executive, the Kings were rockin’ it with the Triple Crown Line, Rogie Vachon, and… uh… the point is the Kings have some sort of tradition, which is more than the Ducks can say. In almost all sports, I root for the established team (Dodgers over Angels, Lakers over Clippers, Galaxy over Chivas USA). I’m not sure why; I think it’s because I admire the history over the gloss of a lot of the newer teams. (Rally Monkey, anyone?)

Two, the Kings have a lot more passion among their fans, in my opinion. I’ve been to Ducks games, and there are a lot of kids running around and people don’t seem that upset when the Ducks get scored on. In contrast, I’ve never been to a Kings game where I didn’t hear the word “fuck” more than “shoot.” (To be fair, though, most of those are me.) I have also never been able to get to my car without seeing at least one opposing fan being heckled by some Kings fans. At Ducks games, you might get chided if you wear opposing colors; at Kings games, you might die. I call it passion, but others might call it a bunch of drunken thugs out of control. Either way, it’s pretty awesome.

Three, the Kings announcers are far and above the Ducks guys. Bob Miller is a god, and my respect for him knows no bounds. Jimmy Fox… let me tell you a story about Jimmy. After a game earlier this year, I was walking to my car when all of a sudden I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. The flash was Jimmy Fox, running full speed along Figueroa with a briefcase in hand. I have no idea why. Some people might not think Jimmy Fox is a good color commentator, and they may be right, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t make me laugh at least once a game. The Ducks guys, on the other hand, suck. The play-by-play guy (I don’t really care what his name is) is alright, but he talks too much during the game about random crap. And I HATE Brian Hayward. He talks up the Ducks way too much and in the past two seasons he’s become insufferable. I can’t wait until tonight to hear about how many “marginal” calls went against the Ducks and how great the Kings goalie is playing (thereby implying that the Ducks are outplaying the other team, but they’ve been lucky so far). If Brian Hayward were to die in a fiery plane crash, the only sorrow I’d feel would be that I wasn’t there to piss on the wreckage.

That's a marginal helmet.

Four, I think Dustin Brown broke some of Rotislav’s Klesla’s ribs and then beat up Alexander Svitov when he tried to defend his teammate last night. Dustin Brown rules.

Five, the Kings have had cooler captains since the Ducks came into the league. For the Kings: Wayne Gretzky, Luc Robitaille (for part of 1992-93 and for one game in 2006), Rob Blake, and Mattias Norstrom. For the Ducks: Troy Loney, Randy Ladouceur, Paul Kariya, Teemu Selanne (interim), Steve Rucchin, and Scott Neidermayer. Any questions? I mean, besides who the hell is Randy Ladouceur.

Six, the Kings have a better goal song. The Kings play “I Love L.A.,” by Randy Newman, while the Ducks play “Bro Hymn,” by Pennywise… wait, fuck, that song is awesome. I hate watching a Ducks game and being disgusted that they scored while simultaneously rocking out. I have to give it to the Ducks, they have the Kings beat in this department.

Seven, the Kings had a cooler goaltender at the time. I fancy myself a goaltender, so that was a big part of why I loved the Kings. On the Kings, there was Kelly Hrudey. On the Ducks, there was Guy Hebert. (Pronounced “I’m a douche bag.”) Kelly Hrudey looked like a pirate and was one of the last goaltender who utilized the two-pad stack constantly. He also had one of the coolest helmets ever in the NHL (seen below). Guy Hebert was born in the United States but took the French pronunciation of his name because it sounded better. I rest my case.

That’s not everything, but I’m sure you’re tired of reading so I’ll stop there. Feel free to say why you like one team over the other in the comments. The Kings are probably in trouble tonight because the Ducks are much, much better than them; at the same time, every game so far this season has been decided by one goal, so you never know. It doesn’t really matter because records can’t conclusively decide which franchise is better. (I swear I’m not just saying that because the Kings are terrible.) The rivalry goes far too deep. I like that the rivalry hasn’t gotten to the point where communication between the two sides is impossible, though. I mean, what’s the fun in having a rival if you can’t make fun of them to their faces?

Prediction: I’m going to tell Brian Hayward to shut up, then feel stupid when my cat looks at me quizzically.

P.S. I think the whole “Tinkerbelle tapping a guy when he scores” fiasco (in the Ducks’ first year) embarrassed all hockey fans, so it was unfair to include that. But seriously, who the hell thought that was a good idea.

Kings Gameday: I Figured it Out...

Los Angeles Kings (Better than Phoenix!) vs. Columbus Blue Jackets (28-36-7, 12^th in West)

7:30 PST, FSN West

As I was watching Long Beach State's basketball team get pasted by Tennessee today, I had a startling realization: I’m cursed. I have never been a fan of a team that won a championship in any sport. Long Beach State was once a national powerhouse in baseball until I started cheering for them; since then, there has been no mention of them on a national scale unless it’s attached to Jered Weaver (and I’m not exactly proud that I went to the same school as that guy; I mean, look at his hair!). The Kings, obviously, have been terrible ever since I started following them in the ’92-’93 season. My ex-girlfriend once asked me my favorite Kings moment and I told her about the time that the Kings came back and beat the Red Wings after being down 3-0 in the 2001 playoffs. She stared at me and then said, “You mean I have to put up with all of this [“this” being me making her watch games and then making her put up with my sour mood when the Kings lost] and a first-round playoff win is the best you can do?” She sucked, but the point is that the Kings haven’t had many good memories since I came around. The Dodgers have one playoff win since 1988 and recently gave a $50 million dollar contract to a guy (Juan Pierre) whose best attribute is his fondness for stirrups.

That's my bad, guys.

“But Rudy,” the voice in my head says, “what about the Lakers and the USC football team?” It's true that they've won recently, but I only started liking the Lakers after Shaquille O’Neal (the world’s biggest leprechaun) left. I started liking USC in 2005, when they got embarrassed by Vince Young. Even though these teams have won championships, it was only because I wasn’t there to suck the life out of them.

If you’re a fan of any of the above teams, I’m sorry. It’s my fault that they’ve sucked, but I can’t stop following them. I'm compulsively obsessed with sports, and I naturally feel a connection with certain teams. Asking me to cut out one of these teams (especially the Kings) is like asking Jonathan Cheechoo to stop eating moose, or asking Rob Neidermayer to not have a misshapen head.

I mock the Kings a lot, but I honestly think that they’re headed in the right direction despite having me as a fan; I just hope I’m still alive when they actually get to raise a Stanley Cup banner to the rafters. With my luck, the banner will probably fall and I’ll be crushed underneath. Truthfully, though, I can’t think of a better way to go.

Prediction: They’ll be up by two and then end up losing in overtime because I started watching the game. Sorry.

Ducks Gameday—Sloppy Seconds in SoCal

Chicago Blackhawks (27-34-9, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (42-17-12, 3rd in west)

The last Ducks/Kings meeting of the season is this weekend, but before we get into the actual head-to-head, I thought I’d take a look at how these geographical buddies have done when it comes to handling mutual visitors, such as is the case currently with the Chicago Blackhawks (last night at Staples, tonight at Honda).

For simplicity’s sake (on my end), I am only looking at instances where a visiting team played in one of our buildings and then played in the other building within the next two days. Since the lockout, there have been 35 instances of this (including tonight), that break down as follows:

• 13 times a team played one night at Staples and the next night at Honda Center.
• 7 times a team played one night at Staples and then at Honda Center 2 nights later.
• 10 times a team played one night at Honda and the next night at Staples Center.
• 5 times a team played one night at Honda and then at Staples Center 2 nights later.

So essentially, that’s 20 times a team has faced the Kings first, and 15 times a team has faced the (Mighty) Ducks first. Now Kings fans, before you get in a tizzy about how unfair this is, let’s take a gander at how the SoCal teams have responded to these schedule quirks:

When visitors go to Staples Center first:
Kings record on the first game: 13-4-3, outscoring opponents 3.05 – 2.68.
Ducks record on the second game: 14-1-4, outscoring opponents 3.78 – 2.56.

Combined: 27-5-7, outscoring opponents 3.41 – 2.62

When visitors go to Honda Center first:
Ducks record on the first game: 8-6-1, outscoring opponents 3.73 – 3.60.
Kings record on the second game: 7-8-0, outscored 2.67 – 2.93.

Combined: 15-14-1, outscored 3.20 – 3.26.

So, going by the surface data, it appears that actually both teams are better off with the L.A.-before-Anaheim scenario. Possible explanations?

• Team strengths—Ducks may be better-equipped to take advantage of road weariness, given their team speed and hard-hitting attitude. They are better off when the Kings “soften up” their opponents, and are generally more capable of capitalizing on a tired team.
  
• Dumb luck—it may be just happenstance that teams that are more beatable get more often put into the L.A.-first situation. Proper analysis would account for this, but being Friday, I’m pretty lazy, so just using the “glance-over” technique, I’ll postulate that this is not the case. The quality of teams in each scenario seem fairly equivalent.
  
• Psychology—maybe, given the comparative status of the two host teams, teams aren’t handling the play-the-Kings-first situation very well. They may be “looking ahead to the Ducks” on that first night, and by the time they get to that second game, they are regretting their crummy result from the night (or two nights) before.

Well, whatever explanation seems to fit, at least the results seem to indicate that the Blackhawks are in trouble tonight. Given the fact that Pacific-division chasers are both on a roll (Dallas is 4-0 in its last 4, while the Sharks are 5-0-1 in their last 6), let’s hope the pattern holds true.

Let's get lucky, Ducks!
Prediction: Ducks 6, Blackhawks 2. Goals by Selanne x2, Penner x2, Pahlsson, and Scotty.

Who's booing Nabby now?

Man, all freakin' season at the Shark Tank, I had to listen to morons boo the crap out of Evgeni Nabokov. It doesn't take a genius to realize that his stats were great even when his goal support sucked balls, so really, why the hate? Yeah, he let up some bonehead plays, but then again, so did Matt Carle on quite a regular basis. Go visit the official Sharks chatroom and it was non-stop "Nabby is the great Satan" over and over and over.

And then Nabby gets like 923 shutouts in a row. Suddenly, everyone loves him.

In the immortal words of Ash -- "First you want to kill me. Now you want to kiss me. Blow."

So, now the shoe is on the other foot. During today's broadcast, an informal poll of TV viewers had about 70% of fans voting to run with Nabby in the playoffs. In the infamous Sharks chatroom, people are talking about sticking with Nabby instead of getting Vesa Toskala back in the rotation.

Part of the reason why Nabby himself thinks he's on a roll is that he's been able to get in a groove by playing so many games consistently. I don't really buy that because he was hotter than flaming crap earlier in the season and Ron Wilson was still doing his goalie rotation. No, I think this is more a case of good timing for Nabby, bad timing for Toskala. In other words, it's the exact reverse of what happened last season.

So, let's just assume that Nabby continues his level of play and Toskala comes in and plays pretty darn well himself down the stretch. What's a playoff coach to do? Personally, I think both goalies can do a good job and it's the young defense that had me most worried (as I'd bitched on here fairly regularly about). However, Craig Rivet seems to have given everyone a nice boost of confidence and the forwards decided to start scoring again (hello Mark Bell -- why the hell didn't you play this way earlier in the season?).

So if I had to pick, well, I'd take the easy way out and just pick whoever played better during the final two weeks of the season. However, I wouldn't do the one-and-one rotation in the playoffs; I'd play a goalie until he had a bad game, then switch and let the other goalie run with it until he had a bad game.

In most normal situations, a coach will play his backup maybe once, but not in consecutive games. I'd just defy that logic completely and tell the two guys that the last two weeks serves as an audition for whoever gets the first pass. However, one strike and the other guy goes in indefinitely.

Hopefully, these guys would be professional enough to be motivated by this. Maybe Vesa Toskala's still hurting by the trade of his best Finnish bud Ville Niemenen.

Kings Gameday: Free Garon

Los Angeles Kings (I refuse to look) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (26-34-9, 13th in West)

7:30 PST, FSN West

Mathieu Garon has not had an easy life. For one, he’s pretty much bald at age 27, which sucks. For two, he’s never really been given a fair shot to claim a #1 goaltending job in the NHL. He came up through the Canadiens farm system but was blocked by the good Jose Theodore (not to be confused with whoever that is playing in Colorado). When the Kings traded for him (giving up Radek Bonk and Cristobal Huet, neither of whom I think have done anything since), many thought that he would flourish and give the Kings a steady goaltender for the first time since the Dread Pirate Hrudey. For one reason or another, that just hasn’t happened.

At the beginning of last year, Garon started off great; he posted a GAA of 2.4 and a save percentage of .924 in the month of December, earning defensive player of the month honors. He tapered off pretty badly towards the end of the season (his numbers after the all-star break: 3.56 GAA and .877 SV %), but I think that was more due to the disgracefulness of the Kings’ defense and the fact that Garon played 63 games after only playing 19 the year before than the fact that he sucked. Still, the casual observer would obviously point to him as the reason for the Kings’ struggles. More importantly, I think, it left new GM Dean Lombardi with no choice but to try and upgrade the goaltending. It would have looked bad for him to come in and say that last year’s goaltending duo was satisfactory when the Kings had so much trouble keeping the puck out of the net.

Garon started this year backing up Dan Cloutier, despite the fact that Garon is a better goaltender in every facet of the game. (I guess Cloutier is probably a better fighter, for what it’s worth.) Cloutier played badly (that’s being kind) and Garon had his chance to claim the Kings’ starting job and give Lombardi a reason to sign him to a deal at the end of the year. He promptly broke his finger in January.

The Kings brought in Sean Burke during the Barry Brust/Yutaka Fukufuji debacle to give the Kings some type of stability in net. He played pretty well in January and February, but has since played like a guy who’s 40 years old. Garon is better than Burke, just like he was better than Cloutier; the problem is that you can’t ask him to prove it. Garon will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of this season and it’s unlikely the Kings will sign him. For some reason, it just hasn’t come together here in L.A for Mathieu Garon. What I worry about is that it’s going to come together somewhere else.

I hope Garon’s playing tonight against the Blackhawks, but I can understand if he’s not. I can already see Garon, in an interview with The Hockey News this time next year, discussing how great it is to be playing good hockey again after all the injuries with the Kings the two previous years. That’ll be the same day that Jason LaBarbera pulls a Shaun Livingston on both knees and when I’ll be sentenced for Dan Cloutier’s murder. (After this report in today’s L.A. Times, I don’t think there’s a jury in the world who wouldn’t consider it justifiable homicide.)

P.S. Oh right, the Blackhawks… umm, they suck?

P.P.S. There’s an article here at Hockey’s Future about the Kings’ top 20 prospects that will make you feel better. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a couple of these guys (Jack Johnson, Brian Boyle, Richard Petiot, Scott Parse, or Peter Kanko) making some noise and possibly the team out of training camp.

Looking ahead: A Duck fan’s perspective on potential playoff opponents

Sorry, Kings fans, but some of us bloggers have some bigger topics to cover than regular season futility and your awesome plans for the entry draft—this interlude is known as “postseason”, or as you may know it, “golf season”. Right now, it is fairly well set which eight western teams will be in the playoffs; what is still being determined are the match-ups.

The western playoff wheel—spin it and see who you might play!
Now I am really hoping Anaheim holds the top spot in the Pacific and the likely 2nd seed that comes with it—but even if that doesn’t hold, I’m a bit perplexed as to how to think about possible playoff opponents. It feels weird, but I don’t have an opponent I’d especially prefer the Ducks to play. Just like last year, there appear to be no cakewalk teams out west; all teams are capable of seizing a series (or seizing up in a series, for that matter).

So, while we’re in that season of waiting things out, here’s a quick listing of possible opponents for the Ducks (season series in parentheses), including:

• blogs I read that cover each team (to varying degrees),
• top Duck scorers against each opponent,
• one reason I want the Ducks to play that team,
• and one reason they scare the fuck out of me.

Really, just putting some preliminary thoughts about these opponents, no matter which round we might face them.

Detroit Red Wings (2-1-0, 9 GF, 5 GA)

• Recommended Blogs: Abel 2 Yzerman, Behind the Jersey
• Top Scorers (3 gms): Getzlaf 3-1-4, Kunitz 1-2-3, Perry 1-2-3
• Why I want to play Detroit: This team reeks of fragility, from their aged netminders, to their older Chelios, to their bad-back Bertuzzi, to their mystery-ailment Zetterberg. If there’s one thing that the Ducks can do, it’s prey on the sick and weak; win or lose, the Red Wings will be a broken team.
• Why I’m scared shitless by Detroit: Red Wings will be ultra-motivated by 2003, when they became the first defending champs to get swept. Detroit is a scary puck control team; they can flat-out control a game/series while the opponent chases the puck all night. It would be interesting to see Coach Babcock on the other bench, though, contemplating how to beat playoff phenom J.S. Giguere.

Vancouver Canucks (3-0-1, 14 GF, 6 GA)

• Recommended Blogs: Canucks & Beyond, Waiting for Stanley, Canucks Corner, Orland Kurtenblog, Canucks Hockey Blog, Stick in Rink, Jes Golbez, Hockey Numbers
• Top Scorers (4 gms): Selanne 2-4-6, McDonald 3-1-4, Getzlaf 3-1-4
• Why I want to play Vancouver: I would love to see the media jump all over Luongo if he starts his postseason career on a sour note. Will the people of Vancouver call for Danny Sabourin to step into the nets? After all, Sabourin is the only Canuck netminder to beat the Ducks this year (in fact the Ducks one of only two teams he’s beaten all year).
• Why I’m scared shitless by Vancouver: I’ve seen too often the power of playoff debuts (Giguere ’03, Bryzgalov ’06), and Luongo is an awesome x-factor—he definitely has the skillset to overpower a series. Plus I’m tired of my heart stopping every time those two twins have the puck and Dipenta’s the lone guy back.

Nashville Predators (2-1-1, 10 GF, 10 GA)

• Recommended Blog: On the Forecheck
• Top Scorers (4 gms): Kunitz 2-4-6, Selanne 4-1-5, McDonald 0-4-4
• Why I want to play Nashville: Nashville’s got a lot of chemistry-mixing going on, mostly because of injury timetables. Guys who might float in and out of a series include Forsberg, Sullivan, Erat, not to mention the goalie-switching of Mason and Vokoun. Their roster instability could work against them; that said, I think if I could I’d prefer to play this team in the first round, if possible, rather than later when they have things more settled.
• Why I’m scared shitless by Nashville: The forward names are pretty frightening, if and when they show up—Forsberg, Kariya, Arnott, Sullivan, Erat, Radulov, Dumont, Legwand, and I’m probably forgetting somebody. Plus, god knows what I might do to my Vishnevski jersey if the series turned sour.

San Jose Sharks (5-2-0, 27 GF, 17 GA)

• Recommended Blogs: Sharkspage, From Behind the Mask, Sharks Hockey Odyssey, Bart’s Hockey Musings, Shaved Ice
• Top Scorers (7 gms): Penner 6-2-8, Getzlaf 3-4-7, Pronger 2-5-7
• Why I want to play San Jose: Blog traffic, for the most part. Really, the entire reason this blog exists is for the long-awaited day when two California teams might play something more meaningful than a regular-season game. We thought we’d achieved it when both the Ducks and Sharks were up 2 games to 0 in the conference semis last year, but I guess one freak accident upset the Sharks' karma.
• Why I’m scared shitless by San Jose: Forget what I said about Nashville—check out this list of scary forwards: Thornton, Marleau, Michalek, Guerin, Cheechoo, Bernier, Pavelski, Bell. Shit, Burke! We need one more Norris defenseman!

Dallas Stars (3-2-1, 17 GF, 11 GA)

• Recommended Blogs: Razor with an Edge, Andrew's Dallas Stars Page
• Top Scorers (6 gms): McDonald 3-5-8, Selanne 4-2-6, S. Niedermayer 3-2-5
• Why I want to play Dallas: Marty Turco, everyone’s favorite fall-apart goaltender. I think the reputation is a bit overplayed, but certainly it is something that can be exploited and fed upon.
• Why I’m scared shitless by Dallas: They were a good enough team (when healthy) before, but then picked up the services of Nagy and Norstrom to boot, from two teams within their own division!! Hey, thanks a lot, Kings and Coyotes! Just because the other guy’s in a different time zone doesn’t mean you won’t be seeing him 8 times a year!

Minnesota Wild (2-1-1, 10 GF, 9 GA)

• Recommended Blogs: Wild Puck Banter, Puck Wild
• Top Scorers (4 gms): S. Niedermayer 3-3-6, Selanne 2-2-4, McDonald 1-1-2
• Why I want to play Minnesota: Oh, the legend of J.S. Giguere hit its all-time high against the Minnesota Wild, by allowing one goal on 123 shots in more than 13 periods of hockey. They haven’t been to the postseason since.
• Why I’m scared shitless by Minnesota: Well, other than the obvious “vengeance” thing, I think the Wild team is pretty damn consistently good and whoever plays their nets has always had good numbers. I don’t know if I’ve come clean about this on the blog, but I am somewhat of a closet Wild fan—their system is pretty fascinating to watch, and it can generate glorious chances.

Calgary Flames (2-2-0, 11 GF, 10 GA)

• Recommended Blogs: Battle of Alberta, Five Hole Fanatics, double d(ion), Real Deal Hockey, Open Ice Hits, Completely Hammered, Hit the Post
• Top Scorers (4 gms): Pronger 0-4-4, Pahlsson 2-1-3, Selanne 2-1-3
• Why I want to play Calgary: Well, this will have been the only team we’ve bested in the postseason with Carlyle behind the bench, and even though I think both teams have improved since a year ago, there are chinks in Kiprusoff’s armor now.
• Why I’m scared shitless by Calgary: This team no longer scores seldomly any more; they have (quietly?) become the second-highest scoring team in the western conference. I could definitely see this series once again getting fought to a seventh game, except this time the tables would be turned—now they’re the ones with Jeff Friesen.

One thing to note: more than half these teams (and even Colorado, should they manage a Rocky Mountain miracle) lost their last postseason game against the (Mighty) Ducks. There may be a lot of vendetta ahead, Duck fans.

Question for anybody: who in the west (including Anaheim) would you want as a preferable opponent? And which team is it that scares the shit out of you?

Ducks Gameday—overdosing on Blue Jackets

Columbus Blue Jackets (27-35-7, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (42-17-11, 3rd in west)

As I noted in the previous BJ Gameday Post, the NHL schedule-monkeys went a little crazy when it came to Columbus and Anaheim—they didn’t meet at all the first half of the season, and now the Ducks get to finish up their regular season by seeing Columbus three times over their last dozen games.

I won't lie to you; it looks pretty comfortable for the Ducks, who have an 8-point division lead on both the Stars and the Sharks. Looking at Anaheim's remaining schedule, there are only four games left this season that involve teams with immediate postseason plans (Dallas x2, Detroit, and San Jose). The other 8 games are all also-rans (Columbus x3, Chicago x2, Los Angeles, Phoenix, and St. Louis), so at least in terms of set-up, the Ducks look positioned to end the season strong and hold that Pacific title.

That said, the west playoff picture looks to be awesomely tough this spring. I'll make a different post about that (so as to not bore any CBJ or LAK fans out there), but suffice to say there is no team that I am salivating to play nor is there a team I think we are doomed against. These kind of statements would be lunacy out east.

Ducks are doing well so far on their longest home stretch of the season: 5-0, outscoring opponents 16-7. Key factors: power play at 28% (7 of 25), penalty kill at 100% (20 of 20).

On the other side of the world is Columbus, who really needs to step up in order to even re-achieve futility—they need 13 points in 13 games in order to match their 74 standings points from last year. Even though they project to improve their goals-against by some 30 goals, their offense looks to be down about 18 goals. Power-play and penalty-kill rates look to be really close to last year, though it should be noted that CBJ is cleaning up its act in one regard—they project to have 70 fewer shorthanded situations than they did last year.

I guess as a segue, I’ll note that Columbus’ highest goal scorer—Rick Nash, with 21 goals this season—has one less total goal than Teemu Selanne has power-play goals.

Of course, congrats are due to Mr. Ketchup, who on Sunday became the first player in NHL history to have back-to-back 40 goal seasons over the age of 35. Quite stunning, really. I mean, he’s really book-ended his career really well; I never figured the guy who sets an improbable ‘old man’ scoring record would be the same guy who set an improbable rookie scoring record—he’s doing it on both sides of the age spectrum.

Just for fun, I decided to track ‘important’ goal-scorers since the lockout. This considers not only NHL regular-season goals, but NHL playoff goals and Olympic goals as well, all rolled up into one goal-tallying table. I’ve ranked them by goals-per-game, but note that Teemu is tied for third in the overall goal count.

Player	Age	GP	Goals	Goals/GP
Alexander Ovechkin	21	159	98	.616
Marian Gaborik	25	108	64	.593
Ilya Kovalchuk	23	157	93	.592
Simon Gagne	27	152	88	.579
Dany Heatley	26	168	97	.577
Marian Hossa	28	157	84	.535
Teemu Selanne	36	174	93	.534
Jonathan Cheechoo	26	157	83	.529
Henrik Zetterberg	26	154	81	.526
Brian Gionta	28	156	79	.506
Vincent Lecavalier	26	162	82	.506

Of course, we should also take note that Teemu is 8 years older than anyone else on this list (to be fair, Jagr barely missed the cut), he's one of only four players who toil in the western conference, AND he’s played more ‘important’ games than any of them.

Frickin' amazing, Teemu.


Prediction: Ducks 5, Blue Jackets 2. (If you recall, the last meeting between to these teams was easily the biggest kick-to-the-nuts games of the season. Ducks are leading 3-0 at Honda Center with 10 minutes left in regulation and manage to come out of the game without a point. Ric Jackman, making his Duck debut, gets the fastest minus-four in the history of stage fright, and Selanne fails on a last-minute penalty shot. So anyway, this time they get things right.) Goals by Perry, Selanne, Jackman, Pahlsson, and this-time-for-sure The Moustache.

Kings Gameday: These are the Times that Try Men's Souls

7:30, FSN West


I’ve been away from internet and a TV that got Kings’ games the past couple of days. I was mad that I missed the last three games, but apparently I should be glad since the Kings have lost the last three in overtime. There is nothing I hate more than an overtime loss. I went to a game against Edmonton earlier in the year where the Kings lost in overtime. The conversation the ride home consisted of me and my brother muttering, “Mother fucker… son of a bitch… I mean, DAMMIT.” The problem with an overtime loss is that you don’t have time to reconcile the fact that your team is going to lose. If they’re down by two you can rationalize the loss or at least come to terms with it. Once the game goes into overtime, though, you can’t help but be optimistic. Then all of a sudden the red light’s on and you have to leave. I don’t think the shootout helps either, because in the back of your mind you’re thinking, “Hell yeah, I’m going to get to see a shootout.” Even worse is the fact that the Kings are continuing their tradition of not losing properly. Lose by 3 goals a game if you’re going to lose, you bastards, and stop picking up points!


The Kings are playing the Edmonton Oilers tonight. The Oilers are the only team in the Western Conference who have more reason to be depressed right now than the Kings. They’ve lost seven games in a row- that’s insane- and recently traded away their big-nosed heart, Ryan Smyth. I feel bad for them (my relatives on one side of the family are from Edmonton), but at the same time it makes me giddy. With apologies to the good people of Edmonton (and especially to my mom), I don’t really like the Canadian teams and Edmonton in particular; the Oilers somehow manage to give off the haughty “We’re Canadian so we play real hockey” vibe while still trying to play the scrappy underdog card. I’m not sure what Oilers fans should be more embarrassed about: the fact that people whined so much when Ryan Smyth got traded or that they cared about a dopey-looking dude like him in the first place. Plus, I hate Joffrey Lupul from his Anaheim days, but I guess I’d almost feel bad about kicking him while he’s down. Almost.

Prediction: An overtime loss, obviously.

Ducks Gameday—Canucks putting the “win” back in “twin”

Vancouver Canucks (41-22-5, 4th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (41-17-11, 3rd in west)

Canucks are on a tear, having but one regulation loss in their last 13, an impressive 11-1-1, including 5-1 in OT/SO games. Ducks meanwhile have but one regulation loss in their last 12, with a record of 8-1-3; essentially the same regulation result but only 3-3 in OT/SO.

But really, the only stat that really matters is that I’m putting my perfect 5-0 attendance streak on the line tonight. That's right; I got a last-minute invite to see this one in person. I have no idea where at the Honda Center I’ll sitting, but I’ll be wearing my new St. Patty’s Ducks t-shirt and my friend next to me will be wearing a Canucks jersey.

Oh, and I’ll probably be over-telling my stupid two-liner: “What’s the easiest way to tell Henrik and Daniel Sedin apart?”

“Injure one of ‘em.”

Aw, I kid. Here’s a picture of nature’s freakiest twins with Sammy and some old dude after they won some sort of CD contest at the Olympics.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Canucks 1. Has the Penner-Perry-Getzlaf PPG line ever had as dominant a game as they did against the AHL Oilers? Each of them gets a goal, and Sammy scores a shortie.

C'mon, NHL. Am I the only one with a brain for marketing?

I can't believe I'm giving the NHL a lesson in 'spin', but why all the negativity for Chris Simon the criminal? Why not instead celebrate Chris Simon the bloodthirsty warrior?

This is where we fight.

This is where they die.
Check theaters and NHL arenas for movie and game times near you!


NEW YORK (AP)--The NHL, in conjunction with Warner Brothers' release of the film '300', arranged a publicity stunt on the ice the other night during its Rangers-Islanders game to further promote both the movie's opening weekend and the notion that hockey is an modern on-ice version of the battle of Sparta. Aspiring Spartan Chris Simon of the New York Islanders was able to offer a sneak peek at one of the movie's several battle stunts on Hollywood extra Jason Hollweg, causing several onlookers to gush about the over-the-top choreography and drama that characterize both the film and the on-ice product.

"The NHL has been spending millions of dollars to convince me that players are gladiators doing blood-battle," said one observer, "but I didn't believe it until now. Gosh I can't wait to see this movie!" The league responded by saying that more such publicity stunts would be unveiled in the near future to correspond with America's fascination for body-count films.

-----------------------------

Let's start milking that Hollywood synergy, Bettman. It can't be any tougher than telling us that the lockout benefited fans or that Ryan Smyth was a hockey deal, can it?

Feel free to leave your own NHL spin-doctoring in the comments. (If it's good enough, maybe you'll get hired for the job!)

Ducks Gameday—Oil catch Ducks Prongerless once again

Edmonton Oilers (30-31-6, 11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (40-17-11, 3rd in west)

Exclusive X-Ray of Pronger’s Foot (UPDATED):

• Yes, it appears that the evil Oil-traitor Chris Pronger has gone and injured his big toe during some off-ice workout. He was interviewed during the Phoenix telecast to emphatically tell us that he did not drop anything on his foot—he only drops trade demands, dammit! This will be the second straight time Prongs is missing an Edmonton matchup, and predictably enough, the Ducks are 2-0 with Pronger and 0-1 without.
  
• Pronger leads the Ducks in the scoring against the Oil with 4 assists in just 2 games. Getzlaf, SNieds, and Ketchup are all also point-a-game vs. EDM this year.
  
• I don’t have much to say about the sad departure of Ryan Smyth, other than I think he’s an elite player who improves the players around him, and Kevin Lowe should have bit the bullet and signed the guy. Like Lupul and Smid before them, Nilsson and O’Marra are going to start with an awful weight on their necks—they’ll be eyed closely as the “trade return”.
  
• Covered in Oil and its commenters put together a great set of haiku and other assorted verse in a terrific post. Here was my submission, an acrostic trio of haiku:
  
  

  R eal classy, K. Lowe,
  Y ou held out ‘til 2:40,
  A uctions are for wimps!
  
  N o worries, K. Lowe,
  S ell the notion that you’re poor—
  M arket rate my ass!
  
  Y oung Mr. Nilsson,
  T his team needs some heart and soul,
  (H urting Joffrey helps).
  

• The Blues did both teams a favor last night by beating the Stars in regulation. Not only did it pad Anaheim’s Pacific cushion, but it also moved Edmonton up a notch on the summer entry draft board.
  
• Since Smyth’s departure, Edmonton been outscored 15-3 on a four-loss homestand, and though I haven’t kept up, it seems their young blueline is also pretty banged-up, which is akin to breaking a man’s crutch. When the Ducks had a busted-up blueline, they became the Anaheim Sucks, so maybe this graphic is appropriate for tonight's Edmonton squad.

I forget where on the internet I stole this pic, so claim it if it’s yours!
Prediction: Ducks 4, Oilers 2. Goals by Getzlaf, Selanne x2, and Pahlsson.

The best thing I've seen all day

Hilarious archived footage, courtesy of HF Boards:

I wonder if Brian Burke has seen this video, and that's why he puts such a premium on enforcers (of course I mean legitimate fighters that can rumble without pulling their opponent's jersey over their own head).

Nice try, Scotty. Probably isn't the worst idea to start a fight with a guy named Valeri, but considering the result, I see why your gloves stay on a lot more these days.

Still, gotta love the emphatic dropkick at the end.

Drinky post-Phoenix post

(Does that title read two ways or am I just seeing double?)

Earl Sleek: You know what the worst thing about Phoenix is?

Buddy Beez: What’s that?

Earl Sleek: They make so much hoopla about a “Decade in the Desert”

(Chandler Bing voice) Could that slogan BE any less appealing? Who's ever wanted to spend a frickin' decade in a frickin' desert?

Yeah, that's a pretty sweet thought!

(Seriously. The decade has been a bust in so many ways for the poor Desert Dogs. They sign big names and maybe they have bursts of short glory, but that decade looks pretty bleak considering they have won one playoff game since the turn of the millennium and have yet to get past a first-round defeat. The fact that they rub that futility in with a jersey patch, well, it reeks of pathos. Then again, I guess in today's NHL, there is some pride to be taken in not being relocated after ten shitty years.)


Buddy Beez: Hey, at least it’s not forty years.

I challenge you...to a Digi-Duel!

My friend's roommate recently bought an X-Box 360 and that meant only one thing: the suped up version of NHL 2K7. After a while, we were able to play X-Box live in the living room, often to the angry complaints of said roommate.

While the game plays somewhat similarly to the PS2 version, it's a pretty amazing leap graphically and in the overall feel of the game. And let me tell you something: Joe Thornton has to be inducted into the Video Game Hockey Player Hall of Fame for his work in this game.
He's almost impossible to knock off the puck, skates well, passes beautifully and shoots way too well considering Jumbo Joe's tendency to dish the puck. He is truly unbelievable in this game.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because my friend an I are always looking for a challenge in the 1-3 times per week we go online. Now, I have to say, we're used to screaming at each other and going one-on-one. So much like a Canadian Olympic team, we need to "jell" a bit.

All excuses aside, we're still pretty much ridiculous and will make you want to quit the game midway through the 2nd period. If you'd like a digi-beating, then challenge Darth Stimulus. Don't be deceived by our 13-10 record. We're a force to be reckoned with. I'd especially like to take on Sleek, Chen or P.J. but anyone will do.

[By the way, neither of us made up that avatar. In fact, most of my comments regarding Star Wars villains elaborate on how totally whipped Darth Vader was in the third Star Wars prequel]

P.S. Blame my friend for us not using the Kings :-)

Kings Gameday: This is Going to be a Long Week

Los Angeles Kings (22-34-10, 15th in West) vs. Columbus Blue Jackets (26-33-7, 12th in West)

4:00 PM, FSN Prime Ticket
I said yesterday that I want the Kings to start losing because I want a high draft pick in June. This is half-true. Rationally, I want the Kings to do poorly because there’s no chance they can win the Stanley Cup this year. Emotionally, however, I hate it when the Kings lose. It ruins my day. Even worse is when I only get to watch the 1st period and see the Blackhawks score 15 seconds into the game. There was a post the other day by much more intelligent and famous blogger, The Mighty MJD, who wrote that he can’t cheer against his team because he roots for the individuals on the team as well as the jersey. I’m much the same way. I can’t cheer when Patrick O’Sullivan fans on a shot (like he did in the first period), or boo when Raitis Ivanans actually makes a smart play to get the puck to O’Sullivan in the first place. It’s hard to find a balance; I want the Kings to be bad, but I want everyone on the team to do well. It was a lot easier when the Kings had Cloutier, because I could hope the Kings scored 4 goals a game while still expecting them to lose. The Kings played last night without Blake, Visnovsky, and Kopitar; their top defenseman was Aaron Miller and their top center was Alex Frolov (whose natural position is left wing). If this continues to be the case, I’m not going to be happy for the rest of the week.

Tonight’s opponent is the Columbus Blue Jackets. I feel bad for the Blue Jackets; all the other expansion teams from the mid-90s on have become legitimate NHL teams (the Thrashers are exciting, the Wild went to the Stanley Cup Finals a year ago, the Hurricanes just won a Cup), but the Jackets are still as terrible as they used to be. I don’t know what’s up with their franchise, but I then again I don’t pay too much attention to them. In all honesty, I would prefer that they stay terrible so I don’t have to bother thinking about them. When someone asks me about the Blue Jackets the first thing I think of is that Frolov deserved to go to the All-Star game over Rick Nash. Then I think of Ken Hitchcock slipping on ice and it makes me laugh. (He’s fat, get it? Oh, and he also looks like an older version of Paul Bearer, The Undertaker’s old manager.)

The last time these two teams played, the Kings won 3-0. Mike Cammalleri scored his first goal in almost two weeks in that game; since then, he has 34 points in the last 24 games. With all the (well-deserved) praise directed towards Kopitar and Frolov, don’t leave out Cammalleri. He’s often derided because he’s too small and not fast, but the guy is a good hockey player. I would be pretty pissed if the Kings traded away a 24 year-old point-per-game player this off-season because they don’t feel he’s worth $4 million a year. Signing him is more important to me than signing a guy like Drury or Gomez, because they’ll be on the decline, while Cammalleri is likely to only get better.


Prediction: Ineptitude. Oh, and I think that either Brown or O’Sullivan is due.

Ducks Gameday—Phoenix Underdogs

Phoenix Coyotes (27-35-3, 14th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (39-17-11, 3rd in west)

I am drunk, tired, stupid, and out of town (not in that order, though; ‘tired’ should be first), so this will be a quick one.

Since the lockout, the Phoenix Coyotes have played the somewhat-Mighty Ducks 14 times. Once they managed to beat Anaheim in regulation, once they managed to beat Anaheim in overtime, once they managed to lose to Anaheim in overtime, and eleven times they have been beaten in regulation. 5 measly points in 14 games.

Who in the west has less points against the Ducks in their matchups since the lockout? Two teams—Vancouver only has picked up 4 points in 7 regular season matchups, and Chicago has only picked up 4 points in 6 regular season matchups, so should either team lose the next 7 or 8 Duck games in regulation, they will be sub-Phoenixian (but we won’t be able to declare this for at least two years).

Without a lot of fanfare, though, the Ducks secretly have gone 6-1-3 in their last 10. Two fun facts, since it appears all-but-certain that Anaheim will have a postseason:

1. This (so far) is the first time in Anaheim history that the Ducks have qualified for the postseason in consecutive seasons.
2. Randy Carlyle (so far) is the first head coach in Anaheim history to stay with the team long enough to have a second playoff run with the team.

(Yawn) time for bed. One more meeting in the morning, then I fly back to LAX this afternoon.

Prediction: Ducks 5, Coyotes 3. Goals by Getzlaf, Perry, Pahlsson, Beauchemin, and Thornton.

p.s. Lone dog blogger One Fan’s Perspective has an excellent Behind-The-Blog post at BTJ.

[Edit from the airport: first off, Pronger seems to have hurt his toe in the two-week variety, so Beauchemin's spleen and Giguere's groin are now on high alert. Secondly, MOTHERFUCKER!!! Remember the days when a 2 1/2 hour flight didn't take ALL FUCKING DAY?!!!!]

An idea worth stealing

The NHL has plenty of issues to deal with, as you can see from its current NHLPA fiasco, but there's one serious problem everyone can agree on (aside from canning Gerry Bettman). The NHL needs to improve its television coverage. And the easiest way to do that (at least for hardcore fans) seems deceptively simple: broadcast the best games possible.

I'm not the first person who has complained about the NHL's national coverage and the Versus television schedule.

(The latest example came in bashing NBC's choices, in ESPN.com's "TGIF," which is basically the once per week hockey version of their excellent NBA Daily Dime)

But in the interest of being proactive, I have a solution: why don't they just steal the NFL's Sunday Night Football scheme? In case you missed it, the NFL got tired of having irrelevant Monday Night Football games late in the season during times when playoff spots were up for grabs. So, they decided that toward the end of the year, they would be able to switch out a crappy Sunday night game for an interesting one (since Sunday became Monday...it's unnecessarily complicated).

So instead of seeing Brett Favre blindly chuck interceptions and the Oakland Raiders suck on national television, fans were able to view relevant games instead. At least more often.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I know whether or not this is "economically feasible" for the NHL. But in a league that needs ratings so badly, which game would you have rather seen tonight? Colorado beating Boston 2-0 in a game that is quite likely to have no bearing on the playoffs, or a 5-4 shootout thriller between the Penguins and Senators, a game that might be a preview for a first round playoff matchup?

(And with all due respect to the elegance of Joe Sakic and the ridiculous height of Zdeno Chara, I'll take Crosby-Malkin-Staal vs. Spezza-Heatley-Alf every time. Especially when we saw both the Bruins and Avs play on TV in the last two weeks.)

Since the money gods didn't allow me to buy NHL Center Ice this season, could I at least get some good games in the 1-2 non-Stars games I can watch each week?

The people who choose the Versus schedule don't have to be prophets. Just give the channel the opportunity to put the best teams on a national scale.

Kings Gameday: That'll Stop the Winning

Los Angeles Kings (22-33-10, 15th in West) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (24-33-9, 14th in West)

FSN West, 5:30 PM

The Kings are going into an important week, with games against Central powerhouses Chicago and Columbus. The Kings trail Chicago by 3 points for last in the Western Conference and have been playing good hockey of late (last games' ineptitude on the penalty kill aside). Obviously, this is a terrible development and must be stopped. The only motivation I have to withstand this season is to think ahead to the NHL Draft, when the Kings should have a high pick. If they keep winning, they’re going to take that away from me, and I wont’ stand for that. This would make sense, though, given the Kings’ history. The previous two seasons saw the Kings needing to win to get into the playoffs, but they instead went on horrific losing streaks. This year, when they need to lose, they start winning. It really can make you laugh. No wait, not laugh, sob uncontrollably. They shouldn’t have to worry about winning today, though, with Kopitar out with the same upper body muscle strain (he’s expected to miss the entire upcoming 4-game road trip) and with no word on whether Lubomir Visnovsky will play. But don’t worry, Chicago fans, you’ll still get to see Jamie Heward! Wait, this is Chicago, they don’t have fans.

Chicago is actually not as bad as their record suggests. They have Martin Havlat, and Nikolai Khabibulin, and… nevermind, they’re terrible. Seriously, how sad is it that this is what the Blackhawks have been reduced to? I don’t even know enough about them to make fun of them. Damn you, Bill Wirtz. I’d also like to point out that more people in L.A. are going to be able to watch the game than people in Chicago thanks to Wirtz, because he thinks that not letting people watch games on TV will inspire them to go in person. Other items on Bill Wirtz’ list of good ideas: bigger nets, white people dancing, and alchemy.

Prediction: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that someone will fall down.

Requiem for a Warrior

I remember it like it was yesterday. The Kings were struggling and had decided that it was time to trade veterans for youth. On the other side of the country, the Rangers were on the verge of a Cup run and needed to add some scoring power as well as feistiness. They soon found one another and came to an agreement. I was just settling into a long day at work when I heard news of the trade. Reports were sketchy at first, but I soon learned that the Kings had traded for a player who would soon change my life forever: Jason Ward.


Jason Ward instantly made an impact in a Kings uniform. He electrified the line-up when he played; guys always had to play harder when he was on the ice. The former first-round draft pick soon made the Staples Center crowd forget all about Sean Avery, mucking it up to the tune of 4 penalty minutes in 7 games. He proved he was a prolific set-up man as well. Remember the goal that Kopitar scored when he went around two Nashville defensemen, out-waited Vokoun and went around the net, and then put the puck into the top-left corner? You know who gave him that puck? That’s right: Jason Ward. Sure, that was his only point in a Kings uniform, but we all know how unreliable scorekeepers can be.


The Ward era seemed destined to go on forever (it lasted 528 whole hours!) but it ended all too soon. This past trade deadline, Jason Ward was traded to the Tampa Bay Lightning for a king’s ransom (a fifth-round draft pick) so that they too could get a taste of the Wardgic. (Ward + Magic = Wardgic) There were other trades made by the Kings that day (some guy named Nordstrom got traded, but I never remember him playing), but losing Ward hurt the most. When I heard he was traded, my innocence died. I honestly thought we’d be together forever, but it just wasn’t meant to be. The only thing I can do is remember the good times we had and hope that, one day, we’ll be together again. Godspeed, Jason Ward. I love you.

Ducks Gameday—the Taunt-Turned-Pledge, a Confessional Post

Nashville Predators (44-18-4, 1st in west) at Anaheim Ducks (38-17-11, 3rd in west)

SON OF A BITCH!!! I’ve been looking forward to today’s matchup for more than a month, because my friend the Demon had gotten me a free lower-bowl ticket, even before the notion of Peter Forsberg had entered the picture. Everything was looking rosy until early last week, when my employer decided to ship me off to Seattle to visit with clients tomorrow morning, and no airline had a flight that could have me in Anaheim Sunday night and in Seattle Monday morning, so basically, I got screwed. Instead of seeing the current top two seeds in the west battle it out (live and in the flesh), I’ll instead be cut off from the scoreboard in the interior of a plane cursing the work/hockey gods for their cruel little schedule conflict.

I was really looking forward to testing my perfect record when in attendance against the "best" team in the west, also. Here is a list of games I’ve been to this year, and their outcomes (I've linked to earlier posts; the Row B ones are particularly fun):

September 20, 2006 – Row B – Ducks 6, Sharks 3 (preseason)
October 4, 2006 – Row B – Ducks 4, Kings 3
November 3, 2006 – Upper Bowl – Ducks 6, Coyotes 2
November 21, 2006 – Row B – Ducks 5, Sharks 0
December 20, 2006 – Row B – Ducks 4, Stars 1

So that’s it—a perfect 5-0 record against each of the Pacific foes by a combined score of 25-9. I haven’t been to a game in a while, and now my planned Nashville excursion is shot through the heart, so unless things change, my only remaining game will be the last home game of the season on April 4th, once again against the neighborhood Sharks. I have to apologize for not following through on the contest, though. It wasn’t a well-thought out idea, and I basically just chickened out. It’ll be me and PJ and two of my friends now, so it still should be a blast.

Anyway, I did want to tell a little side story that involves two of tonight’s prominent stars I’ll be missing, Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne, a little confessional, if you will. I had previously mentioned in an earlier Nashville post that I, personally, never could bring myself to boo PK after he left Anaheim. I went to last year's Nashville game with the full intention of letting him have it, but when it came time I couldn't do it; I was too overwhelmed with great memories of the guy. But really, that is only half the story; I didn’t tell about the time that I did boo TS during his Anaheim hiatus.

Back in 03/04, following the Mighty Ducks’ miracle SCF run and the departure of PK, I went ahead and bought tickets for the first Colorado game in Anaheim, to boo the hell out of traitors PK and TS, who both accepted lesser offers from the Avs to play for a ‘legitimate cup contender’. By the time the game rolled around, though, PK was on the injured list, so there was only one target for my verbal abuse that night—Teemu Selanne.

Of course I was drunk, and I don’t remember a lot of what I threw out that night, except one particularly bright taunt has always stayed with me: “Hey, Selanne, ya sissy! I’m gonna name my daughter ‘Teemu’!”

So there you have it. Since then, though, I have certainly regretted the incident, and have resolved to make up for it by actually turning the mean joke into a solemn pledge—now in honor of the great Finnish Flash, I am going to name my daughter 'Teemu' (whenever THAT happens!). I will turn what was once a vicious insult into a lasting token of my respect to one of the great scorers of our generation.

Just hope it’s OK with the future wife (gulp). At any rate, go get 'em, Ketchup.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Predators 2. Goals by Pahlsson, Penner, McDonald, and Teemu (the hockey player, not my fictitious daughter).

Anyone else want to tell a story of a time they’ve regretted badmouthing a player? Comments are open.

Kings Gameday: Who Needs Kopitar?

Los Angeles Kings (22-32-10, 15^th in West) vs. Nashville Predators (43-18-4, 1^st in West)

The Kings are riding some what of a hot streak (for them, anyway), gaining points in 10 in their last 11 games, including a victory against the Ducks on Thursday. Coach Marc Crawford confused the Ducks by using a line-up system that is best described as a clusterfuck; Raitis Ivanans had a goal and played 11 minutes! Seriously, though, I could not understand what the hell was going on with the lines. I’m pretty sure Visnovsky played 61 minutes. (He had to take 2 minutes to heal a broken ankle bone during overtime.) The whole game was weird: Frolov outskated Scott Neidermayer on the way to a breakaway goal and Dustin Brown actually played better with Kopitar out of the line-up. The Kings are going to be hard-pressed to repeat that performance against a team that actually had the stones to make a move at the deadline, though.

Meanwhile, Nashville went out and got Peter Forsberg, solidifying them as my least favorite team in the NHL. [I mean, at least Anaheim has George Parros’s moustache. (And yes, I use the English spelling of “moustache.” Also, I use brackets.)] There’s Forsberg, who somehow has the reputation as a tough guy even though he sits out games he doesn’t think are important; there’s Martin Erat, who dared try and check Kopitar the last time the Predators played the Kings (Brown had to show him what’s what, below); Jason Arnott, who has a stupid face; Jordin Tootoo, who has a reputation for taking runs at people; and Darcy Hordichuk, who jumped Sean Avery from behind last year because Avery had the nerve to check Paul Kariya.

Oh yeah, Paul Kariya. Oh, how I loathe Paul Kariya. He constantly skates with his head down and yet acts surprised when he gets steamrolled by a guy playing, you know, hockey. The son of a bitch also earned my ire because he screwed over the Ducks. (Even though it was the Ducks, there are some things that are just not done; I mean,at least when Blake left he took a deal that was comparable to the one the Kings offered.) Remember when Scott Stevens elbowed Paul Kariya in the head? That was my screensaver for a while. The only part of that whole exchange I regret is that Kariya eventually got up. I hate you Paul Kariya and I hope you burn in Hell.

Oh yeah, and the Predators have silver on their jerseys. What’s up with that?

My Prediction: At least one Kings fan will mutter, “Who the hell is Shay Stephenson?”

BoC Gameday—talking overtime for a game that will end in regulation

San Jose Sharks (38-24-2, t-6th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (37-17-11, 3rd in west)

Well, for the second time this week, the Sharks catch the Ducks on the favorable side of back-to-back games, this time with Billy Guerin on board. But rather than dwell on the Sharks for this (hasty) GDP, I did want to take a brief look at the Ducks and their miserable OT/SO experience, mostly in reaction to last night's OTL to the Kings. This is, of course, almost completely irrelevant to tonight’s game, as the Sharks hardly ever gets past 60 minutes (only 4 OTs through 64 games), but it’s all I’ve got for today.

Last year, the Ducks went 6-12 in the extra session (3-5 in OT, 3-7 in SO), and this year looks to be eerily similar (3-4 in OT, 3-7 in SO). Essentially, the Ducks are winning barely more than a third of OT games they participate in, not a stellar statistic by any means.

• Similar to Matt at BoA, I don’t particularly begrudge teams for extra-session success, but I’m not sure how well that translates to postseason success. For one, there will be no 4-on-4 OT nor a shootout come postseason, so the ability (or inability) to succeed in these mini-game scenarios probably doesn’t come into play past April 8. Secondly, as I note in Matt’s comments, I’m not sure people generally understand the concept of the “extra point”—it is NOT losing in OT/SO that generates the extra point, but rather in winning the extra session that a team has its point total inflated. To quote myself: “Generally speaking, I am more afraid of teams who make the playoffs despite their OT records than the teams who make the playoffs because of their OT records.”



• That said, the Ducks are definitely leaving points on the table, especially as it relates to OT killers like Dallas, Vancouver, and Minnesota. Then again, if we were a .500 OT team, that would mean only about 5 extra standings points over nearly 2 seasons—not a huge amount to fret over. But if you asked me about whether Anaheim has a good strategy going into OT or not, that's an easy "no", so why not try a new balls-to-the-wall approach? It’s tough to imagine a scenario where our OT record would get any worse.



• And my main point? I don’t even think 4-on-4 OT is exciting any more, especially as it pertains to Anaheim. Consider this: the Ducks have played almost 67 minutes of OT this season. In the 60 minutes of 4-on-4 play, there have been 2 goals generated (2 goals per hour). In the 7 minutes of 4-on-3 power play, there have been 5 goals generated (44 goals per hour). In fact, 5 out of 6 penalties called in Anaheim’s extra sessions have led directly to game-winning power play goals, on average scored just 32 seconds into the infraction. Not to get all Tom Benjamin on you, but this is personally a pretty alarming trend—nothing excites me less than to see this sport become nothing but a PP contest, wherein teams don’t focus on even-strength scoring, but rather just play passively until the point when a man-advantage situation occurs. Still, the lesson is pretty clear: stay out of the fucking box in OT (I’m looking at you, Scotty), it nearly always costs you the “game”.



• Probably the biggest irony of it all? I don’t quite understand how J.S. Giguere, the greatest playoff-overtime goalie in NHL history (zero goals against on 95 shots in 168:27 of extra play), doesn’t translate well at all to regular-season-overtime success. I guess he’s just seasonally “clutch”.

Anyway, lessons for another day, I guess, as this game probably won’t be going past 60.

Prediction: Ducks 3, Sharks 1. Pahlsson shocks us all by not scoring, but Selanne, Getzlaf, and Pronger pick up the slack.

Sharks/Preds thoughts

Some random thoughts from last night's game:

-Despite his history with Joe Thornton, Bill Guerin looked a little uncomfortable out there. Not sure if that was the switch to left wing or just the travel/acclimation involved with getting traded.

-The Sharks have a surplus of #3/4 defensemen. In fact, basically all of their defensemen are either #3/4 guys (McLaren, Hannan, Rivet, Ehrhoff, Carle, Vlasic) or AHLers (Davison, Murray). When two of those guys are out, that causes a problem when you're trying to defend a power play with Peter Forsberg and Paul Kariya. The Predators goals were essentially caused by the Sharks defense not being able to handle movement in front.

-Speaking of the Preds power play, they certainly had better puck movement than the Sharks did last night. Forsberg looks like he's trying to do too much but he still fired off some nifty passes.

-At the tank last night, Evgeni Nabokov was audibly booed at the introduction. After his big save at the end of OT, the NAB-BY chants were rocking the whole arena.

-I REALLY don't like having a power play with Davison/Murray out there. I like it even less when they play on the PK.

-It's hard to judge the result of last night since the Sharks owned the first, the Preds owned the second, and the middle period was blah. I imagine things would be quite different with Patrick Marleau, Hannan, and Rivet in the lineup, so let's not use this as a measuring stick just yet.

-When Marleau comes back into the lineup, I'd be ok with tinkering the lines to try and get three scoring units:

Bell or Clowe/Thornton/Cheechoo
Grier/Marleau/Michalek
Bernier/Pavelski/Guerin

This isn't to single out any player as being good or bad, just an idea to create even more offensive depth.

BoC Gameday—bedtime for the Kings

Anaheim Ducks (37-17-10, 3rd in west) at Los Angeles Kings (21-32-10, 15th in west)

[EDIT: A couple of interesting links this morning--for one, the NHL has announced that this Kings-Ducks matchup will begin next year in jolly ol' England, and secondly, check out Brian Burke's trade deadline "blog", including his prophetic post from Friday, Feb. 9:

Trying to trade is like playing musical chairs. You are always afraid you aren't going to have a chair at the end. You worry if you say 'no' to one deal, you may not get any.]

Prediction: Ducks 5, Kings 2. Selanne, McDonald, Pahlsson, Scotty, and what the hell, Brad May.