Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Kings Draft Pick Review

Drew Doughty, D- My favorite part of Doughty's game is the fact that he doesn't just control the puck well; he controls the flow of the game. The best part about the Detroit Red Wings is their ability to dictate the way the game goes, to slow it down or speed it up at their will. I haven't seen Doughty nearly enough to make any kind of judgment on his ability but what I hear gives me a very tight feeling in my shorts.

Colton Teubert, D- The guy writes the word "Punish" on his grip. Yep.

Vjateslav Voinov, D- Fuck yes, I love Russians. Voinov is a little on the small side (he's listed at 6'0" but is more likely 5'10" or so), but he's a mean mother fucker and is known as one of the best agitators in the draft. Yeah, he's Russian, but he's expected to come over and play next year in either Juniors or the AHL. Hopefully he can make it up to the big club and give Alexander Frolov someone to talk to. The only downside:

As my brother pointed out, he looks like Roseanne's sister. Kinda like Jordin Tootoo too... wait, fuck, there has to a better way to write that.

Brad Richardson, C/RW- Yeah, I know, he's 23 and we got him in a trade, but I figure he counts. Richardson is a smaller winger with poor speed and a great shot... wait, hold on, he reminds me someone. Anyway, Richardson can play on the penalty kill and will probably find a spot alongside Michal Handzus, who desperately needs someone with a shot on his line. I see a Moulson-Handzus-Richardson line working quite well in the future.

Andrew Campbell, D- Campbell is 20 years old and its already pretty filled out (205 lbs.). Lombardi traded up to get this guy, so it seems there's something in him that he likes. Should be a guy to watch.

Richard Czarnik, C/RW- American kid, pretty big but needs to add about 30 pounds. Should be a good player to forget about for a few years and then check on. Plus, his last name sounds like Rodney Dangerfield's in Caddyshack and that's... well, it's something. You try to write something about every player, it's hard.

Geordie Wudrck, LW- Geordie?

Andrei Loktionov, C- Woohoo, another Russian! I think Lombardi was thinking that Russians would be undervalued this draft because of the uncertainty surrounding the transfer agreement, so he went ahead and took them. One thing that's funny? Every Russian prospect is just kind of assumed to be an asshole. I would seriously consider a lawsuit if I were a Russian player. "Oh, here's Igor Olskinsov, he's a good player but he will probably just stay in Russia and drink Vodka. They used to be commies, you know."

Justin Azevedo, C- There's 2 things you need to know about Justin Azevedo: he was the OHL Player of the Year, and he's 5'7". I always feel bad for guys that are great in Juniors or in college but never really get a shot to prove it in the pros, so hopefully Azevedo can make it. He'll probably move to the wing and play in either the ECHL or the AHL next year.

Garret Roe, LW- Another 20 year-old (that's 3 on the day). He got straight A's in school. You know, just in case you were curious.

So that does it. There was a lot of trading for picks in next year's draft that I'm not going to get into because it's boring and nobody cares. Drew Doughty will probably play in the NHL next season, while the rest of the guys will go back to Juniors or college or whatever the fuck. Next up: free agency. Oh, and we need a coach, I guess. I forget, are those important?


brokeyard said...

Kinda like Jordin Tootoo too

"Also looks like Jordin Tootoo"

Nut said...


Mike in OC said...

I agree Rudy, Dean did very well in this draft. He did good last season too, but I wish he would have traded down to take Hickey and got more picks or a player.

Overall I think the Kings staff do a real good job in these things.

Mike in OC said...

On a side note, I love how if you fail to type the secret word the first time you get a real dumbed up version in larger type.

Something I just discovered.

Alexander Dubcek said...

On a side note, I love how if you fail to type the secret word the first time you get a real dumbed up version in larger type.

The secret word is what tells me I've studied to many Slavic languages for too many years. What worries me a little is when I see the random string of letters jumbled together, something like "szkekoxd," and I start pronouncing it mentally because some of those weird consonant clusters show up in, say, Polish. Or, my favorite, the complete Czech sentence that has no vowels: "Skrc prst skrz krk" (Stick your finger down your throat).

I suppose it will be more frightening if the day should come when I recognize one of those random strings as a word that actually means something in a language I know.

Doogie said...


Mom and Dad were Star Trek fans?

"Skrc prst skrz krk" (Stick your finger down your throat)

And that is why Slavs are awesome.