Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Kings/Sharks Post-Game

-Can we get a shot clock out there or something? The Sharks had like 45 minutes of possession time.

-I guess Dan Cloutier played okay. I was kind of hoping he was shelled so everyone would boo him and then he could blame his poor play on the tepidness of LA tap water. And Dan, talking shit to Jody Shelley doesn't make you tough because we both know Shelley could never actually get to you. If I go to the zoo and tell the alligators to blow me, does that make me tough? No, it makes me hilarious.

-The Kings outshot the Sharks, but the Sharks were in control of that game. The Kings are masters of the too little, too late offensive explosion.

-I don't watch too many Sharks games but I get the feeling Johnathan Cheechoo thinks he's some kind of superstar because he scored 56 goals once. He kept faking and trying crazy moves without realizing he's not really that good at it. Or is that just how he skates?

-Great, Jack Johnson's hurt. Is it too late to become a fan of cricket? I look good in white. Maybe Jai Alai, that looks cool.

-Hmm, so Brian Campbell and Joe Thornton are both unmarried, in their late-20s, were "good friends" when they were kids, and are now living together? Plus, Thornton now has a well-groomed beard? Know where I'm going with this? You should, I'm laying it on pretty thick.

-Lubo played better tonight and showed a little more verve than he usually has this season. If he and Marcel Goc had a conversation I would overdose on Adorable.

-Holy fuck was that Rapid Fire thing with Heidi Androl and Anze Kopitar uncomfortable. "The best meal..." "... is... mashed potatoes... and a nice juicy steak." Riveting!

-Kevin Dallman and Peter Harrold were our 3rd defensive unit. We're horrible.


CKim said...

If he and Marcel Goc had a conversation I would overdose on Adorable.

My god, so true. Yeah, the Rapid Fire thing... She should have started one with "I..."

Cheechew said...

Cheechoo skates like that all the time. He always looks like he is a donkey on roller skates but somehow always stays on his feet

Mr. Plank said...

Jody Shelley should punche Dan Cloutier in the dick next time they meet, I'd like to see that. The Sharks looked in control, not dominant, but the last five minutes were scary. Nice move by Cammalleri at the end there, I thought they would tie it up.

Mr. Plank said...

ps I enjoyed the SharksByte feed during the first intermission, that was a little weird to see on a Kings broadcast.

voxel said...

Heidi should just get it on with Anze and dispense with that uncomfortable-ness.

PJ Swenson said...

Camera work was horrible for the Kings feed of the game. I watched the Formula 1 race in Australia before the Sharks-Kings game, perfect.

Then trying to watch 2+ hours of some dude trying to zoom in on the puck as it moved around the ice was horrible. If that is what regular season Kings games look like, they have a problem.

Ted said...

Yeah Dan skating over to Sharks bench was truly laughable.

Also enjoyed the shot of Ron Wilson screaming WTF?! after Kings goal on FSNBA.

Yes, that's how Cheech skates, and he's actually improved over the years if you can believe it.

And if Brian and Joe are some kind of ambiguously gay duo, let's pass some marriage laws and lock them up to long term contracts.

Ian said...

Yeah, Dan Cloutier skating over to the Sharks bench to talk sh*t is pretty laughable. I can think of exactly three goalies who could pull that off: Terry Sawchuk ('cuz he was awesome), Ron Hextall ('cuz he might actually kick somebody's ass), and Ed Belfour ('cuz he's legitimately insane, and scares the bejesus out of me).

RudyKelly said...

Terry Sawchuk got into one fair fight in his life and the other guy literally killed him. And Ed Belfour is a bitch.

With the exception of Ron Hextall, no goalie is tough enough to actually talk shit to another player. If they're going to do that, then they need to get checked like everyone else. That's the deal.

Ian said...

Sawchuk was such a tough SOB he wouldn't get properly treated after being gut-punched. Stupid, but that earns the right to talk trash, in my book.

Ed Belfour *is* a bitch. Believe you me. But he might come back later, kill your family, and use their blood to do finger-paintings of wild-eyed kittens carrying firearms. I wouldn't take that chance, personally.

hellohockeyfans said...

With the exception of Ron Hextall, no goalie is tough enough to actually talk shit to another player.

Ray Emery seems to like to mix it up.

As for Belfour...bah. He'd just offer you a billion dollars to not beat him up.