Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Feel the MADNESS

The Kings are doing a March Madness-style tournament to figure out the biggest fan favorite in the history of the team. It's dumb but fun so I thought I'd get all Joe Lunardi on you and break down the brackets. (For some reason Roman Cechmanek isn't listed, but I assume that's an oversight.) First up:

Purple Bracket

Easiest Win: Bernie Nicholls over Lowell MacDonald. Nicholls was a goal scorer (70 in '88-89) and he's generally well remembered as a King. Plus, who the fuck cares about Lowell MacDonald? He played on the Kings for 2 seasons. I'm more important than Lowell MacDonald.

Toughest Match-Up: Mattias Norstrom vs. Adam Deadmarsh. Norstrom would appear to be the easy choice, but Deadmarsh has gained a cult-like following since he retired due to lack of standing ability. I think it'll be a tough fight but I expect the a small group of people voting many times will sway the vote in Deadmarsh's favor.

Ultimate Victor: In a bracket that includes Dave Taylor and Wayne Gretzky, I'm going to go with Adam Deadmarsh. If he can get by Norstrom, he'll build momentum heading into a bracket showdown with either the victor between Taylor and Gretzky. Gretzky has never been completely embraced by Kings fans and Taylor's stature was somewhat diminished by his tenure as GM (when he traded for Deadmarsh, I should add), so I think Deadmarsh can win those match-ups. What can I say, it doesn't make sense but people love the bastard.

Silver Bracket

Easiest Win: Luc Robitaille over Paul Coffey. Luc is everything LA hockey should be and Coffey only played on the team for 2 seasons. By the way, why the fuck did we trade Coffey for Jimmy Carson and Gary Shuchuck??? What if we had him in the finals against Canadiens? This will keep me up tonight.

Toughest Match-Up: Eddie Joyal vs. Mario Lessard. I don't know who they are, so it'll be tough for me to pick one over the other.

Ultimate Victor: Luc Robitaille. C'mon, he's Luc Robitaille! Luc Robitaille would win Miss America if it were up to Kings fans.

Gold Bracket

Easiest Win: Kelly Hrudey over Terry Ruskowski. It's obvious to me that Hrudey will swing in on a rope and defeat Terry Ruskowski in a sword fight before setting sail with the commodore's daughter. No, I do not have this all written down as a fan-fiction. Get off my computer! MOM!!!

Toughest Match-Up: Ziggy Palffy vs. Michael Cammalleri. Palffy should win easily but it's tough to tell if people will vote for players just because they're currently on the team. I think Palffy will win out, but I'm not quite sure.

Ultimate Victor: Marcel Dionne should win. If Ian Laperriere wins, I'll set myself on fire. Wait, that's not constructive... I know, I'll set Ian Laperriere on fire.

Black Bracket (this seems racist, why make Anson Carter have his own- oh...)

Easiest Win: Darryl Evans over Rob Blake. Kings fans are assholes.

Toughest Match-Up: Gilles Marotte vs. Tomas Sandstrom. Not really, but I just wanted to give some love to Tomas Sandstrom. Don Cherry may hate him, but I sure love him. I mean, look at these moves:

Wait, Tomas Sandstrom wasn't a chainsaw-wielding ferret? Man, my childhood was fucked.

Ultimate Victor: I think Blake will get taken out early and then Jimmy Fox will sneak in on name recognition. His acceptance speech? "Thanks a lot!- it'sanhonor."

So there's my in-depth analysis of the bracket so far. When it gets down the Final Four I'll probably review how I did, unless you guys think this sucks. Please don't.


Chris in Torrance said...

I think Gretzky wins Purple and Luc wins silver. Gold is the toughest bracket. Dionne could win, McSorley could win, but I'm going with the new sensation Anze Kopitar to win that bracket. Black is the weakest and I'm going to disagree with you on this one Rudy, I think Rob Blake wins it.

I hate that they have Norstrom against Deadmarsh in the first round, two of my favorites. After an internal struggle, I gotta go with Deadmarsh.

Luc wins the whole thing.

Bryan said...

I was a King fan pre Ducks, so I really only can comment on the Kings who I grew up on. So I hope Anze, Deadmarsh and Co all lose in the first round. If McSorley wins even his first round that would be horrible. Ignoring the whole stick incident, Mike Krushelnyski has one of the best goals ever scored by a King. The one where he's being tackled and somehow gets a stick on it and flings it towards the net with Vernon falling back reaching for the puck. Luc is the fan favorite but Gretzky is the best ever. Course he may lose votes when fans realize the Sharks and Ducks exist because of Gretzky. I'd also like to see good showings by Granato, Hrudey Sandstroms.

Earl Sleek said...

Man, I wish the NCAA bracket was this easy to predict. We're going to get murdered.