Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Season (P)Review: Tom Preissing

Last Season: 7 G, 31 A, +40 (Jesus), 18 PIM

Word That Best Describes His Season: Pleasant.

$11 million dollar contract, $5 dollar haircut.

Tom Preissing signed a 4 year, $11 million dollar deal with the Kings this off-season. Since he’s probably going to be on our team for a while, I figure we should get to know him. Here’s 4 things to know about Tom Preissing:

1) He’s smart. Preissing wrote his senior thesis at Colorado College on the lack of competitive balance in the NHL. Apparently it was actually good enough to be published in an economics journal. So hey, Preissing’s not a moron, good to know.

2) He won the San Jose Sharks Playstation Rookie of the Year in 2003. Since I got that from Wikipedia, I’m not sure if that means he won an award presented by Playstation or if he was rookie of the year on someone’s Playstation game. Either way, it's... something.

3) He is better than Mark Bell. Preissing was involved in a three-team trade where Chicago received Martin Havlat, Ottawa got Preissing, and San Jose got Mark Bell. Since I don’t get to say this very much, I’m going to say it now: San Jose’s front office sure fucked that one up.

4) He looks vaguely like a frog. Just sayin’.

"Nice pass, To- oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else."

I’d like to welcome Tom Preissing back to the Battle of California. We basically get Joe Corvo back except Preissing is a little younger, a little better, and a little less inclined to kick a woman in the stomach. The only thing I'm worried about is the fact that the three defensemen we have under control for a while are Preissing, Lubo, and Johnson, all offensive forwards. Oh well, if our biggest problem in 3 years is that we have those 3 guys on our team, I don't think I'll be too upset. Oh, and Sharks fans: if you have fond memories of Preissing (or Mark Bell), feel free to leave them in the comments.


Megalodon said...

I'll never understand that Bell trade. Even if Bell lived up to what he was supposed to be, he wasn't what the Sharks needed. They needed a D-man who could start the offense and could be depended on not to make a mistake. They needed...Tom Preissing.
Before Bell left SJ and Preissing left Ottawa, I was kind of still hoping there was some clause in the trade that could reverse the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking the Sharks felt that Carle could replace Preissing offense.

Sherry said...

So hey, Preissing’s not a moron, good to know

I'd reserve judgment on that until he's in an actually pressing defensive situation.

I think Ottawa sort of screwed up this trade too since he was essentially what we got for Martin Havlat and we let him walk so what we're left with are some spare parts. I think I liked him best as a Shark when he seemed so funny and charming on the Shark Byte clips instead of when he was whining about being benched in the finals because he was sucking a nut.

I'm sorry, you said fond memories right? He vaguely resented Chuck Norris when he was sporting his playoff beard.

Earl Sleek said...

...except Preissing is a little younger, a little better, and a little less inclined to kick a woman in the stomach.

Good news for Handzus.

Sherry said...

I clearly meant 'resembled' before. That's why I shouldn't be allowed to type in the mornings.

RudyKelly said...

Oh, okay. I thought he started to grow his beard and then began thinking, "You know, I think I hate Chuck Norris for some reason."