Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Friday, April 06, 2007

The big huge oversized playoff beard thread


There are few things in life that are as unnecessary but awesome as growing a playoff beard. It's been covered over and over and over again, but unlike most hockey cliches, it doesn't get old.

So since I'm practically foaming at the mouth about the fact that the NHL playoffs are coming up oh-so soon, and playoff beards are naturally going to come up repeatedly, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a regularly updated playoff beard thread for the playoffs.

PJ, Chen, Sleek and Rudy: feel free to add your own links and such to this. Let's make this one-stop playoff beard shopping. (One of the most gratifying sentences I've ever written for this blog).

Reading about the young 'uns on the Pittsburgh Penguins gave me the idea. And no, I cannot grow a playoff beard. I am poor and need to keep my job, OK?

Pittsburgh Penguins:

Worst: Me, or [Malkin]. I haven't seen him with anything going on [with facial hair]. I think [Staal] has a few billy goat hairs growing on his chin. Sid's got a couple of little sideburns. I can't even get that.

Own: It will be a 'throatee,' pretty much a goatee on my throat. That's all I've got. Or the 'neard,' the neck beard. We'll have to see what it looks like. I don't know if I'll let it sprout or not.

-Colby Armstrong


Own: Pretty good. I just can't grow anything [in the middle of the upper lip]. ... It looks like a reverse Hitler.

-Erik Christensen


Interview taken from The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, story by great Pittsburgh hockey columnist Dave Molinari.

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Of course, it would be a sin to ignore the greatest moment in beard bloggery, sacramano from The Battle of Alberta's sequential de-bearding. Here are a few of the best photos from that spectacular post:



Seriously, read that post.


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Indeed, the hockey blogosphere has some big shoes to fill. And there certainly will be some old friends who we'll miss: Mike Commodore and the Carolina Hurricanes were eliminated from the playoffs recently. And most sadly, the Edmonton blogosphere has been reduced to writing hilarious, but depressing posts about the Oilers' jarring drop to the bottom.

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An interesting take [and intelligent purchase of a domain name] comes in the form of www.playoffbeard.com. The site features hockey news and impressive and expressive portraits of certain hockey players. The highlight of the site is its guide to grading playoff beards.

It features this doozy about former Duck Jeff Friesen:

"WHEN BEARDS GO WRONG: The Freisen

Oh Jeff. Oh no. Perhaps the worst attempt ever at a playoff beard was the porn star / Wyatt Earp special that Jeff Freisen tried to pull off a few years ago. The effort was there. The genetics however...ooooh......in another line of work, his facial hair could have been put to good use. In the NHL however, it was misplaced. Better luck next time Officer Freisen!"

Artwork from playoffbeard.com


More playoff beard-y goodness to come in the weeks and months that pass. Again, this post is intended to get bloated and ridiculous so please leave your favorite beard-related sites in the comments section.

BoC beard-related comments are especially recommended. My current playoff beard BoC favorite: Scott Niedermayer, whose gray-and-black scruff promoted me to nickname him "Lightningbeard."

Are you excited yet???

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't forget this playoff beard tutorial: