Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Kathy Lee...you're my sexual fantasy (hockey player)

After a response from Finny, I thought I'd throw out a little question: would anyone want mayhaps a weekly fantasy hockey post?

Granted, I'm not saying that I'm THE expert or anything like that. At the same time, with my current job, my Kings viewership will be mainly limited to: Versus appearances and Dallas Stars games. So, in order for me to write bad jokes and entertain the masses, I think that fantasy hockey advice would be the best route until ... oh, mid December or so.

Credentials, you ask? Well, I did write for fantasyhockey.com last year (I wrote LA Kings reports and a weekly "IR" report). I also reached an unfathomable level of fantasy hockey dominance when my team (Team Pants) was #1 for a full year in the last season before the lockout.

I should have won last year, if not for the dual shutout fluke that was Crystal ball Huet. My team included: Cheechoo, Heatley, Spezza, Gomez, Lundqvist, Elias, Eric Staal and Rob Blake to name a few.

Still not convinced? Here's my fantasy hockey team, pick-by-pick:

7. I. Kovalchuk
14. E. Staal
27. H. Lundqvist
34. S. Niedermayer
47. Z. Chara
54. V. Toskala
67. T. Selanne
74. S. Gomez
87. K. Tkachuk
94. C. Stillman (my dumbass realized he was injured, so consider this pick Ray Whitney. No honor in this draft. Sheesh.)
107. C. Drury
114. N. Zherdev
127. M. Hejduk
134. J. Bouwmeester
147. I. Bryzgalov
154. B. Seabrook (dropped for Henrik Sedin)

Still not convinced? Then ask someone else, you assholes. Anyway, I'll start next week if the feedback is positive...


Earl Sleek said...

Heh, I now consider myself a bad fantasy hockey player, in that I have really stopped caring about winning, so I consistently break rule #1--never draft with your heart.

And now, having drafted three BoC-heavy teams (especially Anaheim), I find myself in first place in my two roto leagues and about to kick the shit out of Mirtle in his blogger league.

Go figure. I'm all for some fantasy advice, though, should winning ever re-enter my radar.

(Oh. I used to be pretty good. I did win a CBS gold league or something like that.)

Anonymous said...

OoooOOOoooOOOOoooohhhh, fantasy advice. yes, yes, yes. I don't know what the hell I'm doing but I have two separate fantasy teams that look like this:

(private, among-friends-league):

s. crosby, p. marleau, r. nash, b. shanahan, a. kovalev, a. hemsky, n. lidstrom, b. mccabe, w. redden, j. sakic, e. staal, v. toskala, j. giguere, m. turco

(public league):

s. crosby, h. sedin, p. kariya, d. sedin, j. langenbrunner, m. svatos, w. redden, t. kaberle, j. pitkanen, f. beauchemin, ju. williams, s. hartnell, d. briere, r. getzlaf, r. miller, i. bryzgalov

.........and no idea if this is good or not. LOL.

Bartcal said...

I've got Crosby, Michalek, M., Cheechoo, Nabokov, etc. on one team. Marleau, Michalek, Bernier, S., Miller, Toskala, Nabby, on the other. Like Sleek, I break rule #1, but don't really care. I would like to learn more though for the times when I don't draft with my heart.