Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What to Name the O'Sullivan-Kopitar-Brown Line

Terry Murray has reunited the Patrick O'Sullivan-Anze Kopitar-Dustin Brown line that was such a surprising success in the 2nd half of last season. If that sentence sounds familiar it's because I wrote it about 3 weeks ago the first time Murray did this; then they played one game together and Murray put O'Sullivan on the 4th line. Now O'Sullivan is seemingly back and I think it's time the line deserved a name. because I had this all set up before Murray dicked them (and me around). Here's a few options I came up with, and then I'll take a few good suggestions in the comments and have a vote tomorrow. Hooray for democracy!

Option A: LAPD, Central Division- This option evokes memories of the old LAPD line (Allison-Palffy-Deadmarsh), but it has the added bonus of being a little bit more rough 'n tumble than the old line. The name works because their names work (Anze-Patrick-Dustin) and it's similar to the older incarnation because all three had a niche that complimented the other two. The downside to this name is obviously the fact that all three LAPD members were out of hockey 4 years after they first hooked up. Also, the name isn't entirely original.

Option B: Dawn of the Dead Line- A solid comedy option, the name works because the line is unyielding and relentless; also, all three of them look like zombies. I chose "Dawn" because they're all young and at the dawning of their career. (I'm clever.) This line could also be called the Sandman Line, although I'm starting to think that Dustin Brown should take that name for himself. The best part of this nickname: when they score, the entire arena could moan, "BRAAAIIIINNNSSS." It admittedly wouldn't make much sense, but it would be funny.

Option C: The Whew Line- "Shit, is that Kyle Calder? Oh, it's just Patrick O'Sullivan. Whew."

Option D: The Maxi-PAD Line- So called because their names line up (Patrick-Anze-Dustin) and because they give maximum effort on every shift. The downside is... actually, I can't think of one. Try to make fun of that name, pundits!

So there you go. Let me know if you have any good ideas in the comments. Something involving raccoons would be appreciated.

Update: This doesn't have anything to do with anything, but I'll be damned if it's not the most adorable thing I've ever seen:


Earl Sleek said...

I dunno, the "Terry Murray's Temporary Brush with Sanity" line?

"Enjoy it while it lasts" line?


RudyKelly said...

I'll use O'Brownitar if you draw a picture of what this creature might look like.

Earl Sleek said...

Well, it's very unlikely I'll be getting to that in the next 48 hours, but I'll throw it on my list.

If anybody's more inspired and wants to beat me to the punch, though, I won't object.

So far, all I know about O'Brownitar is that he has raccoon eyes and undresses in front of a camera.

cristobal said...

O'Brownitar is great. I'm down with it.
Hopefully, we can call it the "scoring line" considering the teams struggles in that defartment.

the only semi-amusing name I can think of is "line obi wan" because they're our only hope.

cheers californios.

when will we see one of the BOC teams with this as their jersey?


brokeyard said...

I think the secret was revealed to me by NHL 09. Somehow (I don't what the return was as I didn't notice it til much later) the Kings acquired Rick Nash from the Blue Jackets.

Seems unlikely in real life, but he would be a huge addition to the Kings, eh?

Earl Sleek said...

Heh, I believe in my NHL 09 season the Kings somehow landed Jason Spezza. They must have mis-programmed Lombardi's GM tendencies.

brokeyard said...

It gets annoying sometimes... I start thinking "that guy is on the Kings" and then I have to remember he's really in Ottawa.

But I scanned the Blue Jackets roster and it appears Nash was acquired via a trade for Patrick O'Sullivan and a dancing raccoon.

Anonymous said...

Since I am a Sharks fan I think the Line name should be Panze Dust, pronounced pansy dust, for PAtrick-ANZE-DUSTin. ----Go SHARKS!

Kevin Y said...

Heh, I believe in my NHL 09 season the Kings somehow landed Jason Spezza. They must have mis-programmed Lombardi's GM tendencies.

In my NHL 09, the Kings traded Jonathan Bernier, who led the league in GAA at the time, to the Sabres for a guy I've never heard of. They also managed to acquire Kyle Calder, who wasn't signed to a new contract after the first season in BAP.

Also, Kopitar only has like three goals because my BAP player is also a center, and I always put myself on the ice. I've got like 90 goals and I just got to the All-Star Break in my second season, and I'm on the ice like 50 minutes a game.

brokeyard said...

Try turning up the difficulty level.

Kevin Y said...

Try turning up the difficulty level.

No, it's fun and easy!

Not only that, but I lost to Vancouver in the Western Conference Finals in my first campaign (but that's because they picked up Sabrina Ladha). I'll turn it up to whatever the hardest level is after my second season, win or lose. I've played ~50 games, so it'll probably be about a month before then.

Megalodon said...

The Roombacat Line

Chris Kontos said...

I named the 2nd line last week... Frostoller.


For the first line I suggest Coach Murray's Cavalcade of Fun.

cristobal said...


Andrew Harkins said...

Let's go for the full name: Danzick O'Brownitar

Unknown said...

Okay, this is disturbing and not a drawing:

O'Brownitar (http://reecespeeces.com/OBrownitar.jpg) and O'Brownitar meets a raccoon (http://reecespeeces.com/OBrownitar_raccoon.jpg) I hope Murray keeps this line together. Maybe we'll start scoring more; all three of them can't be double-teamed :)

RudyKelly said...

You take 3 ugly guys, put them together and what do you get? James Marsden. Strange.

Earl Sleek said...

Raccoon eyes totally gets my vote. Nice work, Reeces!

Unknown said...

Thanks. It does kind of look like Marsden...that's creepy.