Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Join my digi-team

For the first week or two of its release, I bandied about the interwebs playing NHL '09 with a group of whacky Canadians. Aside from their silly accents, these guys were GOOD. They played like ... dare I say, a team.

Soon enough, though, Time Warner Cable put it in my pooper (metaphorically, I hope). That meant an internet connection as consistent as Oprah's weight and a tragic inability to fight for the polygonal Cup with my Canadian pals. Eventually, the team either dissolved or decided that it would be best if we saw other people.

Enough background, here's the deal: I started an EA Sports League team called Battle of Sedins and my roster includes only my doppelganger Sad Panda. This saddens and enrages me. So, if you have a copy of NHL 09, an X-Box Live account and a modicum of digi-talent, message/friend request/whatever me on X-Box Live so we can represent for our blogging gangstas.

Not sure what kind of demand there will be with this, but at first it will definitely be a first come first serve thing. (Naturally, BoC contributors will get on the team even if they suck balls) Eventually, we might get to the point be a B-team or some roster cuts, but that's another story for another day.

My gamertag is jimbobri. Since this team is for the BoC as well as my fledgling blog, I decided a BoC-team neutral logo would be best (so it's a European league mascot - a polar bear biting through a stick ... fucking sweet, right?). While I'm here let's discuss a few things:

  • Goalies will be treated as prima donnas, second only to myself and BoC writers. If you're really good at goalie in this game, you'll probably not going to need to worry about going on waivers.
  • Douches aren't necessarily barred. It just depends on what type of douche you are. Being the wrong kind of douche will get you kicked off the team. Want more specifics? Eh, fuck you. Remember, I make the rules.
(the power's already going to my head)
  • Don't be a dick about playing defense or a position you don't want to play. Not everyone can be blond haired, blue eyed quarterbacks, you know.
  • Use a headset. Yes, the headset is ridiculous and its use means you don't deserve to get laid for a week ... but it's necessary. C'mon, you know you want to hear me burn the roof of my mouth with a grilled cheese sandwich and admonish you for my own mistakes. Don't be delusional.
So, right now, that's the criteria. If you're tired of your team, looking for your first team or just want to hear my awful voice and even worse jokes, let me know. Most likely I'll be on and off for much of Wednesday and probably for a bit on Turkey Day (anything to get away from my dreadful family). It would be pretty kick ass if we could get at least 3-5 people on at the same time before my brother says something crazy while eating stuffing. God, I hate Thanksgiving.

Anyway, it's time for you to rejoice. Finally, your meaningless lives can be temporarily satisfying!!!


brokeyard said...

I'm game. Ideally I think it would be awesome to get a BoC Bloggers vs Readers game... but that's just a fantasy I suppose.

I am a defenseman so I don't whine about playing D, although I am blond haired and blue eyed...

Also I'm sometimes quiet on the mic because my girlfriend hates video games (and sports) even though I try not to play around her. So it shouldn't be a problem, because I generally play when she's not around, but it could happen where I suddenly don't respond.

violator said...

I really like your blog, care to exchange with links? My site is http://dinamoriga.blogspot.com/ If you are interested please contact me. dinamorigablog@gmail.com

Earl Sleek said...

Ideally I think it would be awesome to get a BoC Bloggers vs Readers game... but that's just a fantasy I suppose.

It'll take me a couple weeks, I reckon, as I haven't set up my XBOX Live nor taken the headset out of its packaging.

Plus I'm about to move back to my parents' for TG weekend, so this weekend is shot.

Still, I do get good positional scores. Hopefully that will make up for the rest of my mediocre play.

Johngo Fett said...

I've got a grinder center that I did pretty well with in my first Be A Pro season (only 162 points and 1000 hits or so), but my Faceoff numbers against real people are about average.

Gamertag is Aerim.

Kevin Y said...

God damnit, I've really gotta get an X-Box.

"Hey Mom, I know what I want for Thanksgiving!"

jamestobrien said...

Yeah, Sleek, I tried to send you an invite and it failed :-). No X-Box live can do that.

I'll probably be on in a few hours to start adding people here and there.

Anonymous said...

Friend request sent! my headset is broken but i can still duke
xbox live: tombocyte

RudyKelly said...


Earl Sleek said...

I really like your blog, care to exchange with links?

Dinamo Riga Blog...added!

Yeah, Sleek, I tried to send you an invite and it failed.

Yeah, I'm quite addicted to Xbox-Dead. Less stressful, I think. I'll get over the hump sometime, though.


You forgot the excited exclamation mark. Nerds!

brokeyard said...

Come and play with us, Rudy. Forever and ever and ever.

Wooster11 said...

Friend Request sent... see you online.