Cue "Taps"

WOW. Someone just played Panic's entrance music. If things looked bad for the Stars just a few days ago, now the team is pondering meteor shower insurance. Rudy posted the news but if you have anti-scroll disease, Brenden Morrow is out for the season.

The Stars are effectively "fixed." As in they've been de-balled.

With Marty Turco having a mini-meltdown and Brad Richards giving weepy interviews in emo shirts, trading away Jussi Jokinen and Mike Smith is looking closer to Bochenski for Versteeg these days. Honestly, Richards had enough positive moments in the playoffs that he gained a ... sort of flattering nickname in the "Five Dollar Shake." No Pulp Fiction jokes for him now, though. Although perhaps a "do I LOOK like a bitch?" might work.

So, with chicken little getting on the first trip to DFW Airport, I thought it might be fun to look at the different ways this mess can shake out:

1. The put-your-head-between-your-legs-and-pray approach

The plane's losing cabin pressure. Oxygen masks just popped out over your head. Babies are crying. Virgins are tearing off each others clothes and all you can do is prepare for a fiery grave.


In the Stars case, they are hoping the after-life includes one of the top two draft picks. There seems to be some hockey nerd slap fights over who's going to be the number one pick, but it's pretty hard to imagine John Tavares suffering an Angelo Esposito-type fate (or Aaron Rogers type fate, for you hockey borderliners). But even if Tavares suffers from a Fannie Mae-ish drop in stock, the Stars could benefit from getting the next big hype machine (Tavares) or Victor Hedman, Sweden's answer to Zdeno Chara.

Let's face it, kids, Smokin' Sergei Zubov is aging as hastily as Meg Ryan (seriously, what butcher of a plastic surgeon made her lips into couch cushions?). Turco's struggles are well documented, but even if he rights the ship he's not exactly a young man either. And the Stars' offense is anchored by really old players (Modano) and guys who are hovering around the dreaded 30-zone (Morrow, Mike Ribeiro). (Oh, and of course douche bags like Sean Avery)

In other words, this might be the perfect time for the Stars to have a free fall to a high-end pick. Dallas doesn't have NHL draft savants like Detroit so those perpetual playoff runs and future mortgaging trades make it tough to bring in high-end offensive talent. The defense has some guys who still have a chance to be good again, but no Jack Johnson, no Erik Johnson or any other future franchise D guy not named Johnson.

So maybe the Stars can pull a San Antonio Spurs - a team that hovered around good for years, had one atrocious year and ended up with Tim Duncan. Just sayin'.

2. Us against the world?

Something tells me that Linda Cohn and Co. left the Stars bandwagon in a ditch somewhere in podunkia. Allowing awful end of the period goals, taking stupid penalties and generally shitting the bed means that the Stars can go back to being way under the radar.

Could that be a good formula for a rebound? Stranger things have happened and Morrow, despite his playoff heroics, was struggling too this season. *Shrug*

3. Liquidation time!!! Clearance sale!!! All underperforming players must GO!

Never hurts to dream.

Then again, the Stars COULD go apeshit and go into full-on rebuild mode. After all, the economy is shit and the crowds will get sparser by the meltdown. Carrying an expensive losing roster might not be feasible with the economy getting gang raped. And if nothing else, the Stars have some big contracts and big names who could actually have decent trade value.

Turco might not exactly be at his most valuable level, but he has a huge contract. Who knows ... maybe a miracle could happen and they could move him for Jason Spezza.

WOW! This is fun! Making up completely unsubstantiated rumors is almost as fan as playing Gears of War 2!

In all seriousness, the Stars could look to shop players (kinda doubt Turco will go anywhere though). Zubov is a high-skill, high-age guy who could be a splendid trading deadline candidate. Richards might be too expensive, but he's still a very talented player. Ribeiro is a tool and an injury faking douche. This is undeniable. But he's also been a point per game player. He actually was really good in the playoffs and didn't writhe around on the ice like an asshole last year.

Would there be anyone crazy enough to take Avery off their hands?

If there's anything the NHL has shown me, it's that stupid trades and free agent signings happen all the time. It would be nice if the Stars came out on the winning end this year.

-------------------------------------------------------

So, those seem to be the three paths the Stars can take. Without bias or any "research" to get in the way of my opinions. Hope you enjoyed it.

Brenden Morrow Out 6 Months With a Torn ACL

You know, I've been predicted every season for the past 6 seasons that the Stars were going to falter, and every season they've made me look like a jackass. This season I finally don't predict a letdown and this looks like the season they finally falter. Just thought you'd like to know how this is affecting me personally.

BoC Gameday—Prelude to Burke Week

Los Angeles Kings (7-7-2, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (9-7-2, 5th in west)
That strange silence you're hearing is a quiet general manager.

Over the next week, I will be writing a series of posts looking back on the legacy of Brian Burke in Anaheim -- moves I liked, moves I didn't like, plus some general observations -- so yeah, look forward to that. For now, though, all I'll say is that I'm fine with the timing of the move, as there's not a lot of GMing that can really be done with the rest this year's roster. The Ducks are so close to the cap ceiling that there's not much to do except (a) promote Bobby Ryan and (b) re-sign some key players before next summer.

We'll get to (a) in a second, but really the re-signing aspect is the key one: once Burke turned down a contract extension, next year's roster became Bob Murray's concern, and better to put that person in charge now than to wait until the offseason. Incidentally, I don't expect to learn very much about Bob Murray's GM tendencies until next summer; for now it's still pretty much Burke's team, and the only clues we'll have about Murray in the coming months will likely be in the form of which UFAs get re-signed and which do not.

Ah, this PuckToon I drew last June seems appropriate.
(It's not as if I've never stolen from work before.)
I missed Friday's game against the Predators, so I was caught off-guard by the announcement that Frenchie Beauchemin will be out six months with a torn ACL. The ramifications of this seem to be twofold: (a) Bobby Ryan and Ryan Festerling got promoted from the AHL under long-term-injury cap relief, and (b) Scott Niedermayer will be getting a new minute-eating defense partner. I hesitate to say who will be getting the promotion, but I think I'd give Steve Montador a shot at some top-four duty -- he's a guy who's been impressing me with his overall game and could play anchor to Niedermayer's roamer game.

As for Bobby Ryan, now's the opportunity for the kid to step up to the big leagues -- on paper, he potentially gives the Ducks a set of six legitimate top-six forwards (sorry Marchant, one of the requirements is "hands") for the first time this season. Between Kunitz-Getzlaf-Perry and Ryan-Morrison-Selanne, I'll be interested to see how the Ducks' offense operates. It may just provide the positivity to offset the downside of losing Beauchemin.

Prediction: Tonight Sleek's lucky green shirt is going up to the Honda Center rafters (translation: I'll be sitting in the nosebleeds), as some hockey-playing friends of mine have taken advantage of a Ducks promotion -- sell enough upper deck seats and they get to play a short beer league-style game on Honda Center ice after the Ducks and Kings end. So if you see a green shirt during the game in Section 430, Row J, feel free to say hi, or if you're bored after the game and want to see some amateurs play, I'll be in the lower bowl for that. Ducks 4, Kings 2. Goals by Ryan (x2), Pahlsson, and Getzlaf.

Go Ducks.

An Opportunity for Friesen?

Rudy beat me to the punch, but yes, Torrey Mitchell is out for two months. That's pegging his return in late November. This will muck things up a little bit but this gives an opportunity for Jeff Friesen to grab a roster spot.

I'm guessing this won't affect Todd McLellan's top two lines, but the current would-be third line of Mitchell with Marcel Goc and Mike Grier on the wings is obviously mucked up. Goc, however, is a natural center and shifting him over would make sense for the time being. Who takes the spot on the wing?

Well, of course Tomas Plihal could work in there, or they could experiment with Devin Setoguchi for a little more offensive punch. (Setoguchi remains a wild card as the lineup shakes out) However, if we're looking at this to be a defensive unit based on speed with some scoring ability, that's what the old Friesen used to specialize in. He obviously didn't really do that in his stints in Washington and Calgary, but let's just assume things go well for Freeze (he's looked pretty good in camp so far) and they've gotta slot him in somewhere.

It makes sense, though it'll obviously create a logjam of forwards when Mitchell returns. Still, it's better to have too much depth than not enough.

Besides, wouldn't it be cool to see good ol' Freeze in teal?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My newly minted favorite non-King, Torrey Mitchell, looks to be out for 8 weeks after breaking his leg during practice. At about the same time my favorite prospect, Marc-Andre Cliche, hurt himself after awkwardly falling in the aftermath of a Denis Gauthier check. I feel like Wyatt Earp after Virgil and Morgan were shot.

In other news, the Kings released their split-squad rosters for the game tomorrow in LA and Kansas City. LA gets Brown, Kopitar, Johnson, Frolov, Jason Labarbera, and Brian Boyle, while Kansas City gets... Wayne Simmonds and Drew Doughty. Hahahahahahahahaha.

Also, Matt Greene has been partnered with Jack Johnson for most of training camp so far. That's a pretty good defensive unit, but it makes our 2nd pairing Tom Preissing and... Alec Martinez? We need another defenseman.

Stoll Signs 4-Year Deal

Deal: 4 years, $3.6 million/year (or $100,000 for every point he scored last year)

Dean Lombardi loves injured guys. First it was Alyn McCauley and Dan Cloutier, then Michal Handzus, and now Jarret Stoll. The hope is that you pay the player less than what he would have normally made if had been healthy the season prior and then reap the benefits when he rounds into form. So far that hasn't quite worked out for the Kings: McCauley played only 10 games and then had to retire because of a knee injury, Cloutier was the 11th plague, and Handzus was terrible last year. I guess Lombardi is hoping fourth time's a charm.

The deal boils down like this: if Stoll plays like he did in 2005-06 and get somewhere around 60 points a season over the life of the deal, it's a steal. If he plays like he did last year, slow and tentative, then the Kings will have over $7 million dollars invested in their bottom line centers. It's a risk, and one that I'd normally tip my hat to, but the Kings have already been burned by this gambit a few times before. I'm wary of investing this much money into someone before there is proof he's fully rehabilitated. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Right now, though, I'm nonplussed.


Oh, and is anyone concerned that Stoll now has a multi-million dollar deal to go with his model fiance and an lavish LA lifestyle? And that he went to New Zealand in August instead of, you know, training? I'm not encouraged.

San Jose Injury List

Courtesy of Working The Corners:

TO UNDERGO SURGERY:
Devin Setoguchi: Left shoulder, sports hernia.
Mike Grier: Right knee.
Patrick Rissmiller: Sports hernia.
Kyle McLaren: Knee, plus recovery from groin injury.

SCHEDULED FOR MRI:
Brian Campbell: Knee, shoulder.
Craig Rivet: Wrist, knee, elbow.
Patrick Marleau: Shoulder.
Joe Thornton: Right knee (hurt in final playoff game).
Curtis Brown: Left hand.

OTHER:
Christian Ehrhoff: Ankle sprain.
Milan Michalek: Shoulder injury (hurt in final playoff game).
Douglas Murray: Wrist pain.
Jeremy Roenick: Rib cage.
Jonathan Cheechoo: Knee sprain.

Ducks Gameday—Playing without any CPs

St. Louis Blues (29-31-11, 14th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (40-25-8, 4th in west)

Damn, I had to change the text from his last two suspensions.
So the verdict is in: 8 games for Stompy. As such, the Ducks will be playing the next eight without either of its CPs: Corey Perry, a victim of Jose Theodore’s skateblade, and Chris Pronger, a victim of his own. I guess this can be the reaction post: Was it enough? Too much? Dead on?

Schedule-wise, that will mean Stompy will be eligible to return on April 6, the last game of the Ducks’ season. Three full weeks for Pronger to repent his sins, heal his jaw, and focus his anger for the playoffs. I have to say, even had Pronger been able to play, I’m not sure catching the Sharks for the Pacific lead was feasible, not at the rate they’re winning, so I think (sadly for the haters) that this works out pretty well for the Ducks. Carlyle still has the sixsome of Niedermayer – Beauchemin - Schneider - O’Donnell – Huskins - Bergeron to rely on, which I think is more than fine.

Up front without Perry, it’s going to be up to guys like Getzlaf, Selanne, and Kunitz that will have to consistently produce points, and Weight and Bertuzzi must do their best to not suck. Bobby Ryan’s been shelved on the fourth line in favor of Marchant, but I think he’s gotta step up and get in the offensive mix. I can be patient so long as Marchant does his best Perry impersonation (3 straight games with the opening goal, all of typical nonsense Marchant variety), but I’m not sure how long this lucky streak can last. Maybe it can hold out until St. Patrick’s Day.

I totally forgot that the Ducks were playing today; I misread the schedule and thought they were playing tomorrow. It’s an easy mistake for a Ducks fan to make, as this will be the 2nd Saturday night regular-season game in Anaheim in the last two seasons—they hosted the Avs on a Saturday last season, too.

Let's get lucky, Ducks!
Side story: I asked my dad, who’s twice as Irish as I am, what his plans were for St. Patty’s Day, and his response cracked me up. “I’m not usually that social on St. Patrick’s Day, or on New Year’s Eve, for that matter. Too many amateurs.”

Prediction: Ducks have won their last eight games at home, and their last four games without Pronger. I think when Pronger got suspended last playoffs, it helped the Ducks get an “us vs. the world” mentality that really helped them overcome; let’s hope they find that again. Ducks 5, Blues 3, in Anaheim’s last non-Pacific game of the season (can I mention again that I love the schedule this year?). Goals by Marchant (can he dare do it again?), Bergeron, Pahlsson, and Selanne x2.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—An x-ray of Pronger's knee

Anaheim Ducks (26-17-6, 2nd in west!) at Minnesota Wild (26-17-3, t-5th in west)

Last year when Chris Pronger broke his foot, I produced an exclusive x-ray photo of the injury. Cut to last night's game in the first period at Nashville, when a Shea Weber point shot hit the outside of Pronger's knee; he left the game, apparently suffering a contusion and is day-to-day.

So, without further ado, to the right is the x-ray I received of the current injury. You can see the extent of the injury by the excessive number of lightning bolts.

On that note, it's probably appropriate that the Ducks go to Minnesota tonight, a regular source for injuries as I noted in last spring's series preview. Between the regular season and playoffs, Ducks-Wild games in the last season-and-a-half have produced the following injuries:

• Marian Gaborik (groin, 35 games)
• Todd Fedoruk (broken face, never the same again)
• Chris Pronger (broken foot, 10 games)
• Francois Beauchemin (jaw fracture, 1 game)
• Kim Johnsson (suckerpunch to the face, 1 game)
• Todd Bertuzzi (concussion, 14 games)

We'll see what happens tonight. One thing to watch out for -- this will be Brad May's first game in Minnesota since the Johnsson suckerpunch. May already fought Boogaard in Anaheim, but I have a feeling he might have to answer the bell again in front of the Wild fans.

Prediction: The Wild have already beaten the Ducks twice in Anaheim this year, the last win coming on the game before Niedermayer's return. If there's any solace, it's that the Wild scored the first seven goals in the season series, but the Ducks have scored the last two (to be fair, that game was well out-of-hand, so this isn't that encouraging). Still, the Ducks are rolling, and I'm believing. Ducks 4, Wild 3. Goals by Kunitz, Weight, Pahlsson, and Beauchemin.

Go Ducks.

If a Game is not on TV, Did It Really Happen

Due to Warriors and College Football, tonight's game was not on TV here in the Bay Area. So fans were left to listening to the radio or following the game on the internet. As he likes to do after losses, Ron Wilson decided to shake up the lineup. Healthy scratches included Ehrhoff and Rissmiller with Goc and Semenov taking their places. It looked like it worked for this night as the Sharks came back from their disappointing loss on Friday to win 3-1. This lineup juggling could be a continuing trend unless the Sharks get on an extended winning streak. Call it superstition or just looking for the right combination. It seems Ron Wilson is trying anything he can to get Cheechoo back on track. Cheech was put on the 4th line for the last few games but tonight had 1 goal and 1 assist.

Once again the Sharks are looking at a 3 day break. They are in a stretch of 16 days where they will play only 6 games. Yes it gives Nabby a chance to start every game, but this might explain the inconsistency of play.

It was reported on the telecast last night that Clowe was scheduled for knee surgery and would be out 4 months. Later in the game they updated the situation and said he was still being examined. Are the Sharks trying to hide the real extent of the injury? Either way it will be a big loss but the depth of the team will help as it will give a chance for youngsters Setoguchi and Kaspar to get regular time. If they fail, there are still Brown, Goc and Rissmiller.

Dallas comes to the tank on Wednesday.

Kings/Sharks Gameday: The Most Important Month of the Year

Los Angeles Kings (6-7, 3rd in Pacific) at San Jose Sharks (6-5-1, 1st in Pacific)

Kings Record in November: 0-0

7:30 PST, FSN Bay Area, NOT Fox Sports West

The Kings have been enjoying themselves so far, playing fun little games with teams from distant lands like Columbus, Vancouver, and Boston. Now the real season begins for the Pacific Division. Starting today, the Kings do not play a non-Pacific Division opponent until December 1^st. That’s 11 straight games. In fact, it’s pretty much like that for every Pacific team. This stretch is so important that I’d go as far to say that how the standings look at the end of November will probably reflect how they look at the end of the season.

Of course, since we’re going into such an important stretch, a King has to get injured. Kyle Calder will be out for about 2-4 weeks with a broken wrist and… wait, a month with a broken wrist? I’m sorry, I thought this was hockey, not golf. You don’t even shoot, Calder, you just let puck bounce off you. Quit being a baseball player and get your skates on.

Anyway, the Kings called up Matt Moulson (on his birthday, no less) to sit upstairs while Scott Thornton probably plays. Moulson spent four years at a little school called Cornell where he sang, along with Andy Bernard, in the a capella group Here Comes Treble. I doubt Moulson will ever become an important contributor to the Kings, but at least this’ll be something he can tell the grandkids about. Good for him.

Wait, wrong Molson...

The Kings go up against a Sharks team that’s really struggling to a… oh, wait, they’re 6-5-1. I thought with all the wailing wafting down from Northern California that they were 0-35-2. Patrick Marleau has struggled early in the season, tallying only 4 points in 12 games. Good thing he’s playing the Kings, his own personal slump-buster. Last season, Marleau had 13 points in 8 games against the Kings (including 7 goals), his best against any division opponent. I'm still not convinced Marleau knows how to talk (he might not even have a tongue), but he still scares me.

He communicates through dance, like a bee.

Being that these first two games are really important (division tests and all), of course they’re not going to be on television. I’m going up north this weekend to the land of microchips and marijuana so I thought I’d actually get to watch the game, but I guess people actually watch the Golden State Warriors so I’m probably shit outta luck. I could listen to the game on the radio, but who am I, Levi Strauss? I can’t sit there and just listen to a game, what the hell am I supposed to do with my eyes? Plus, TV has completely ruined my imagination to the point that it’s like… something.

I'm not using my brain like some sap!

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3, despite a 3-point effort by Marleau. Goals by Frolov (x2), Brown, and Lubo.

Ducks Gameday—Optimism, thy name is Schneidermayer

Columbus Blue Jackets (7-3-1, t-3rd in west) at Anaheim Ducks (4-7-2, t-11th in west)

For those of you Duck fans who are not taking the time to read Ducks Wire, I’d highly encourage it. It’s a great way to keep tabs on the latest Duck headlines, sort of a Kukla’s Korner for Anaheim and Portland news (better than waiting for me to become a credible news source). Anyway, if we believe the latest reports from practice, the Ducks are likely to have Rob Niedermayer, Ryan Getzlaf, and finally Mathieu Schneider in the lineup tonight. If so, this really figures to be the most complete lineup the Ducks have dressed all season—really the only missing piece (under non-suspended contract) is the concussion-stricken Bertuzzi.

(By the way, I'm not really sure what I meant to do with that picture on the right. Something about Niedermayer being Schneider's internal voice, a la Obi Wan Kenobi with young Luke, but it's not the most self-evident graphic I've ever made.)

I know my Ducks writing of late has been pretty pessimistic in nature, so I thought today I'd talk about one positive about the Ducks' crummy start to the season: at least it didn't happen last year. To illustrate, here's the 5 Pacific teams and their start thus far, along with how they started last season in the same number of games:

1. San Jose Sharks 12 GP, 6-5-1 (.542), 13 pts. 29 GF, 28 GA. PP 17.5%, PK 88.1%
Start of Last Year 12 GP 8-4-0 (.667), 16 pts. 40 GF, 28 GA. PP 28.0%, PK 85.9%
Key Metrics: Pts down 19%, GF down 28%, GA even, PP down 11%, PK up 2%

2. Dallas Stars 12 GP, 5-5-2 (.500), 12 pts. 33 GF, 33 GA. PP 19.2%, PK 87.0%
Start of Last Year 12 GP, 10-2-0 (.833), 20 pts. 38 GF, 22 GA. PP 15.7%, PK 89.5%
Key Metrics: Pts down 40%, GF up 15%, GA up 50%, PP down 4%, PK up 3%

3. Los Angeles Kings 13 GP, 6-7-0 (.462), 12 pts. 39 GF, 42 GA. PP 21.4%, PK 81.7%
Start of Last Year: 13 GP, 3-8-2 (.308), 8 pts. 25 GF, 36 GA. PP 10.1%, PK 85.3%
Key Metrics: Pts up 50%, GF up 56%, GA up 17%, PP up 11%, PK down 4%

4. Anaheim Ducks 13 GP, 4-7-2 (.385), 10 pts. 27 GF, 33 GA. PP 10.5%, PK 80.9%
Start of Last Year: 13 GP, 9-0-4 (.846), 22 pts. 42 GF, 28 GA. PP 20.6%, PK 87.5%
Key Metrics: Pts down 55%, GF down 36%, GA up 18%, PP down 10%, PK down 7%

5. Phoenix Coyotes, 10 GP, 4-6-0 (.400), 8 pts. 22 GF, 29 GA. PP 8.7%, PK 81.4%
Start of Last Year: 10 GP, 2-8-0 (.200), 4 pts. 19 GF, 44 GA. PP 9.2%, PK 76.5%
Key Metrics: Pts up 100%, GF up 16%, GA down 34%, PP down 1%, PK up 5%

Last year by this time in the season, there were already 18 points separating the top seed in the Pacific from the bottom seed; this year the spread is down to 5 points. And while the Ducks have the worst winning percentage of the bunch, it's better to be trailing the Sharks by 3 points and the Stars by 2 than if those teams had started with last year's start; then the deficit would be 6 points to the Sharks and 10 points to the Stars, and my panic would be much more severe.

At any rate, the Blue Jackets come in after beating out the Kings last night in what seems to be a typical Columbus effort: limiting goals against. In case you're not up to speed with the western standings, you may be surprised to note that Columbus leads the league in goals-allowed-per-game (1.82) and in penalty killing (93.0%). You may also be surprised to note that the Calgary Flames lead the west in goals-scored-per-game (3.50). It wasn't that long ago (2002-03) when the Flames were 14th in the west in team offense and the Blue Jackets were 15th in the west in team defense; talk about changing identity.

Prediction: The Ducks and Blue Jackets met up in Columbus early last month (part of the Ducks' whirlwind post-London fatigue tour) and the game was an Anaheim disaster. Fatigued and jet-lagged, the Ducks took 16 minutes to get a shot on goal, ended up being shorthanded for more than 20 minutes of gameclock, and surrendered 3 PP goals en route to a 4-0 loss. I'm optimistic that those trends won't be repeated. Let's say Ducks 4, Blue Jackets 2. Goals by Moen, Miller, Pahlsson, and the man I call Schneidermayer.

Go Ducks.

Just like the movies—Ducks start their sequel year in the toilet

Sweet lord. The Ducks, tasked with holding up a one-goal lead for twelve minutes, managed to give up a shorthanded goal with a minute-and-a-half left before giving two points up to the Oilers' 2nd goalie in the shootout. The Oilers, of course, are the one team that the Ducks are least interested in giving two points to, because Anaheim holds their Penner first-round pick for next year.

The Ducks are pathetic in so many ways it's disgusting.

• The power play is pretty much a liability—all it seems to do is eat up key player minutes. In the last eight games (six of them in Honda Center), Anaheim has enjoyed nearly 68 minutes of 5-on-4 PP time, and managed to score one goal, while allowing one. Sure there's personnel issues with the 2nd unit, but the fact is the top unit players are probably more guilty of underproducing with the man-advantage than the checking line is.
• The Ducks have trailed by a goal for 220:47 and scored 4 goals—one goal every 55 minutes. The team has led by a goal for 103:02, and allowed 8 goals—one goal every 13 minutes.
• The Ducks' record is 4-7-2, good for 10 points through 13 games. Wanna know how many teams have made the playoffs the last two years with 10 or fewer points through their first 13 games? One—the Calgary Flames, who have actually done it twice. Calgary started with that same 4-7-2 record each of the last two years.
• If you project the current record to 82 games, that would make for 25-44-13, 63 points. That would have been good for 28th in the league in 2005-06 and 29th in the league last year.
• And it's not like competition is much of a factor, either. The last two games the Ducks have lost home games to the two bottom teams in the west, each playing their backup goalies, and couldn't manufacture a win either time. Against this competition, the Ducks scored 2 goals in 125 minutes.

And yeah there's help coming—Getzlaf, R. Niedermayer, Bertuzzi, and Schneider for sure, and we'll have to wait and see with S. Niedermayer and Selanne. The real tragedy is that this team figures to be be an awesome lineup if all its pieces came together, but when is it going to be too late? How long can it dig itself a hole among the NHL's worst?

I hate to be the one to bring it up, but really this whole harsh fall-from-grace theme has already been played out on the big screen, and apparently our hopes for this year rest on the rest of the D2 script playing true. The story thus far:

A hockey team of castaways is thrust into the national spotlight following the success it achieved in the previous season. Ill-prepared for all the hype, they are embarrassed on and off the ice, and proceed to lose their temper and refuse to play well as a team.

In true Disney fashion, then, I'd expect the team to get bolstered with a few familiar faces (Scott & Teemu) and through some off-ice bonding, rediscover the meaning of teamwork in the face of adversity. In fact, I'm kind of hoping that the Ducks take this movie re-enactment to the limit.

Imagine: a second-period-intermission that really turns the shitty season around. After getting outworked and outscored for forty minutes, the team shockingly returns clad in their old eggplant-and-teal cartoon jerseys and teamed with some suddenly unretired-and-eligible superstars. Opponents, announcers, league lawyers, and fans are all shocked, but somehow in the name of drama it all gets allowed. The Re-Mightified Ducks then rediscover their identity and on-ice domination and pull off a memorable comeback win, before having to re-learn the lesson the following season.

I know throwing my hopes up against a Disney sequel script is idiotic, but at this point what choice do I have? The on-ice results are beyond disappointing; this squad bears zero resemblance both in personnel and performance to the team that cruised through last spring's playoffs. And while there still is some hope tied to the white knights named Niedermayer and Selanne, I'm not sure how excited they will be to pin their unretirement hopes on a team that seems to have lost its ability to manufacture a basic win.

Maybe I'm being overly panicky here; the schedule is still not yet 1/5 played, and both my head and my Playstation tell me that a team boasting a blueline of Niedermayer, Pronger, Beauchemin, and Schneider can get the wins together to propel this team to the playoffs. Still, Anaheim is a team that needs some good news quickly, or else the question won't be "are the Ducks going to be this year's version of the Carolina Hurricanes?" but rather "are the Ducks going to be this year's version of the Philadelphia Flyers?"

A Hollywood-style ending is not out of the question for this Anaheim team, but the margin for error is deteriorating fast. Better start working on that knucklepuck, Giguere.

Ducks Gameday—Puttin' square pegs into round holes

Phoenix Coyotes (2-5-0, t-14th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (4-6-1, t-9th in west)

Missing Players by Game

(includes games where a player was unavailable to finish the game)
Well, it hasn't been the best start to the season for the champion Ducks, who between travel and injury have been reduced for the most part to a rather mediocre squad. I'm still unsure how a fully-iced Ducks squad figures to perform this year, and from the sounds of things, I don't think I'll be finding out anytime soon.

Since Bertuzzi went down early in the Minnesota game, though, it's been especially thin for the Anaheim power play. Coach Carlyle in the face of a limited roster has been loading up talent on the first power play unit, but then filling the second unit with his penalty killing personnel. The table below shows five players who, despite not playing hardly any power play time last season, have put in some serious PP minutes the last six games.

The New Power Players	Rob Niedermayer	Mark Mowers	Travis Moen	Sammy Pahlsson	Todd Marchant
Games Played Last Year	82	78	82	82	56
Total PP TOI Last Year	15:40	15:04	13:52	13:16	8:01
Avg PP TOI Last Year	0:11	0:11	0:10	0:09	0:08
Games Played Last 6 gms	5	5	6	6	4
Total PP TOI Last 6 gms	18:18	17:24	3:40	4:26	3:18
Avg PP TOI Last 6 gms	3:40	3:29	0:37	0:44	0:50
Pct Increase from LY Avg	1916%	1802%	361%	457%	576%
Season High PP TOI	6:13	4:55	2:34	2:34	2:26
Pct Increase from LY Avg	3254%	2545%	1518%	1586%	1700%

Thus far the five have combined for one power play assist (Sammy, of course), but I'm not going to knock their efforts; it's really not their gig. Anaheim's checking forwards are a special bunch, for sure, but their contributions aren't really on the ANA portion of the scoreboard. The fact that these checkers are getting such decent power play time really begs the question, though: why isn't Bobby Ryan cracking the lineup right now, even for an emergency special-teams-only engagement? Those are minutes where an offensive player could make an impact and prevent Anaheim's penalty-killers from being exhausted from unproductive power play time.

The checking line just aren't suited to be power play personnel, no matter how much ice time Carlyle insists on giving them. He may as well glue nail clippings to his lip and wait until it becomes a moustache.

Anyways, Phoenix is in town tonight for the first of eight on the season, and I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing. Since the lockout, the Ducks have used the Desert Dogs as a steady source of standings points; in sixteen games the Ducks are a whopping 13-2-1. A huge factor here is that in those 16 games, the Ducks' power play has produced 23 goals while the Coyotes' power play has produced only 8. The two points seem attainable enough, but with Anaheim's decidedly mediocre power play and overall sketchy lineup, it's not nearly as in the bag as it could be. (For the 'Yote angle, check out PB's take at One Fan's Perspective.)

Still, I've managed to come up with a saying that's annoyingly helpful in putting it all in perspective. As discouraging as the first eleven games of the 07-08 season have been, it's still the best twelve game stretch in team history (counting the last game last year, of course). Complacency will be the death of me, I guess.

Prediction: Phoenix donates two points to Anaheim's playoff drive yet again; Ducks 5, Coyotes 2. Goals by King, Wirtanen, Perry, Hnidy, and an ill-advised PPG by Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Ducks Gameday—Poetic Justice for Bertuzzi

Nashville Predators (2-3-0, t-11th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (3-4-1, t-4th in west)

As usual a matchup with Minnesota produced more injuries. Todd Marchant is day-to-day with a bone bruise, and Todd Bertuzzi got put on the IR with a concussion.

Self-pity is for the weak, though. Poetry is for the strong.

Ode to Bertuzzi's Concussion

T his is a story of circular fate,
O f passion-turned-deadly and unbridled hate,
D umb ol’ Brad May put a price on a head,
D umb ol’ Bertuzzi nearly knocked Steve Moore dead.

B ut skip ahead forward a couple of years,
E ach of the thugs has resumed their careers,
R egrettably Burke kept May’s antics alive,
T o see him knock Johnsson right out of G5.
U pset Derek Boogaard saved up his bloodlust,
Z eroed in on Bertuzzi and got him concuss'd.
Z ip to the lesson—This Karma’s hardcore,
I t got Todd Bertuzzi to start feeling Moore.

Which Nashville team is going to show up tonight? The team that outscored its first two opponents by a combined 9-1 or the team that lost its next three by a combined score of 17-8? For some always solid Nashville perspective, visit the Forechecker.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Predators 2. Goals by Miller, Getzlaf x2, and Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

The London Effect: Putting the “UK” back in “SUCK”

Well, it’s been a combined 10 games played since the Ducks and Kings split games in London, and of course results have been less than stellar: combined only two of those games have resulted in BoC wins, and both those wins came midway through the third period. Combined, the teams have been outscored 11-8 in the first period, 19-13 in the second period, and 19-14 in the third.

Now of course each of these teams has some issues outside of the London travel: the Ducks have been playing with an injury-compromised roster since day one, and the Kings are still trying to figure out how to work with their new lineup, from the net on out. But still, I think it’s clear that there is more going on here than bad rosters—between the shortened training camps and the intercontinental travel, King and Duck results have been adversely affected by the bizarre start to the season.

As things continue to settle, I think we’ll get a better idea of what we can blame on London and what we can blame on actual roster deficiency, but I think the warning is clear. Next year the NHL has announced opening the season in Prague—so far the Lightning, Penguins, and Senators have been mentioned as possible ambassadors. If I’m any of those teams, I’d take a hard look at how the Ducks and Kings struggled after their returns to North America; so far the evidence shows that starting overseas is a huge early hurdle to overcome, especially for teams coming in with roster issues.
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Interesting stat from last night’s game: The Ducks scored a 6-on-5, a 5-on-3, a 5-on-4, a 4-on-4, a 4-on-5, and a 4-on-6 goal. Six different types of goals; none of them your basic 5-on-5. Of course, as the Chief points out, the refs had a field day yesterday: 5 hooks, 5 trips, 4 holds, 3 slashes, 3 unsportsmanlike conducts, and 1 each of crosschecking, elbowing, boarding, and interference (plus a delayed penalty that never got called). At this point, I’m hungry enough for the two points that I won’t complain too much about refereeing, but I don’t find it exciting or compelling when a 60 minute game is reduced to only 25 minutes of 5-on-5.

The Ducks’ power play is pretty intriguing right now, though, especially with the depleted roster. In the last two games, the PP has gone 2-for-19 in nearly 29 minutes of PP time. While that may not impress anyone, I actually think it’s been a decent number for the Ducks when considering who’s been playing on their second unit. Over the last two games, Rob Niedermayer has played 10:02 and Mark Mowers has played 9:46 of power play time, predictably with no goals scored. To compare, last year in 82 games with the Ducks Rob Niedermayer totaled 15:04 of power play time and in 78 games with the Bruins Mark Mowers totaled 15:40 of power play time. In that ice time, they combined for one power play assist. I really have no idea why they are meriting the ice time lately (other than I guess there’s no good candidates to fill the forward minutes), but it seems like Carlyle is comfortable throwing away the man-advantage time.

The real boost, though, has been on the other end of special teams with the return of Sammy Pahlsson and his fabulous PK. In three games since his return, Sammy has played nearly 13 ½ minutes of shorthanded time, in which the Ducks have scored two goals-for and allowed zero goals-against, including Pahlsson’s game-winning shortie last night. Overall this year, the Ducks have killed penalties at a 73.5% clip without Sammy in the lineup and a 93.8% with Sammy. While the London Effect certainly affects this discrepancy somewhat, the fact remains:

Sammy is god.

Ducks Gameday—12,000 mile migration finally finds its way home

Boston Bruins (1-1-0, t-8th in east) at Anaheim Ducks (1-3-1, t-6th in west)

After a road trip that can best be described as "predictably brutal", the Ducks finally raise their banners tonight in front of the home crowd--Scott and Teemu are supposed to be in attendance, so that should be an interesting ceremony, at least. I'm not going to overcriticize the team for the lackluster start, even though the last three cup-winners have all had excellent starts to their year: Tampa Bay took points in 14 of its first 16 games (11-2-3), Carolina earned points in 13 of 16 (12-3-1), and last year's Ducks got points in all 16 (12-0-4).

This year's Ducks have only taken points in 2 out of its first 5 games, but I'm staying optimistic. Here's some semi-random thoughts I've been mulling over:

1. Last year's Senators recovered from a brutal start to make the cup finals, so a rough start isn't insurmountable. Ottawa took points in only 7 of its first 16, but unlike the Ducks so far, the Senators' goal-differential was pretty promising. Just a side note on the Sens' top line: it took them less than 2 games this season to score as many goals and points as they got in all 5 games against the Ducks last spring. Just sayin'.

2. Fortunately, the rest of the Pacific Division has started slowly as well. The Ducks will have a games-in-hand issue as the season goes on, but I'm surprised nobody in the division has passed the Ducks in the standings yet. Last year, the Pacific produced three 107-point teams; so far this year nobody in the division sits above the .500 mark and every team is getting outscored.

3. The main thing I can say about the team's rough start was that it was entirely predictable. The team had a lengthy spring, with the cup hangover and semi-retirements that tend to follow. They had a severely shortened summer and an abbreviated camp to accomodate two September games overseas. Then they hurried back to open the North American season with 3 openers in 4 nights.


I made the graphic to the left just to show the whimsy of the scheduling discrepancy thus far--after tonight's games, the two teams with the shortest summers will have hurried to play more games than any other team, and the Ducks in particular will have played twice as many games as more than 2/3 the league.

Besides the schedule impacting results, there is also the matter of personnel: compared to last year's squad, the team is short a #1 goaltender, a top-scoring forward, a top-scoring defenseman, a top-scoring rookie, a top-shutdown center, and a top-UFA defenseman. And really, all that's been available to replace them has been Todd Bertuzzi, Shane Hnidy, and rookies.

I guess my main point here is that when I evaluate NHL teams, I don't often hold them to irrelevant results. Last season I often ignored a 2-7-2 stretch in January when Giguere, Pronger, Beauchemin, Marchant, and Bryzgalov all had simultaneous injuries. The season before I isolated results for the Sharks after they inserted Thornton and Toskala, and for the Ducks after they shed Fedorov, Sykora, Carney, and Ozolinsh.

So I'm not reading anything into this ridiculously-scheduled start. Instead, I still look forward to what sort of success (or lineup, really) that these Ducks project to have with at least the additions of Giguere, Schneider, and Pahlsson.

4. Just for historical comparison, after the Ducks' first visit to the cup finals, they started the next season with an 0-4-1 start, so at least things could be worse. The first five games of 2003-04 were a truly brutal start: 5 goals-for and 16 goals-against; at least this year's squad has scored 11. Coincidentally, the 5th game in that Oct. 03 slump was the last time the Bruins visited Anaheim.

Sidenote #1: I'll give Boston credit for also starting this season with some tough matchups--they are the visitor for the home openers in Dallas, Anaheim, and San Jose. However, those openers are spread out, and after this trip Boston won't leave the eastern time zone again.

Sidenote #2: I actually was in attendance for that Ducks-Bruins game back in 2003. I remember that game because I managed to pull my wallet out at a beer stand, walk away with a beer in each hand, and not discover my missing wallet until I got home. So if you found a wallet that night, you know the secret identity of Earl Sleek (you bastard).

5. Back to this season, I'm at least hopeful that the Ducks' pathetic start convinces Scott and Teemu that they're still useful for this team. If I'm Brian Burke, I'm really hoping each of them watches the Columbus video in particular. In case you missed it, that was the game where it took the Ducks 16 minutes to find out Pascal Leclaire was in the Blue Jacket net.

6. At least the on-ice problems thus far seem identifiable and fixable. First off, the PK desperately needs Pahlsson back--9 of the 16 goals they've surrendered have come on opposition power plays. Two players that have been particularly exposed: Ryan Getzlaf has played 12 shorthanded minutes with 4 goals against, and Francois Beauchemin in 29 minutes has been on the ice for 8 of the 9 PPGs-against.

As for goaltending, it's actually been quite stellar for the most part. Ilya Bryzgalov has started three games and only allowed one even-strength goal. Breezy's problem is that he's been victimized for eight power play goals-against, plus the Ducks have only offered him three total goals-for in support. I didn't catch all of the Pittsburgh game, but Hiller's impressed as well.

Prediction: Sorry I'm long-winded today, but in support of the Ducks I've flown on two red-eye flights within the last week, and I'm feeling the lack of proper bed-sleep. Anyway, the Ducks' only win this season came on the only game I didn't make a gameday post, but I know what's been the missing element: Sammy Pahlsson. He's a possibility to return for tonight's game, and that's good enough for me. Ducks 3, Bruins 2. Pahlsson, Perry, and Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Schneidermayer joins the LockoUK

Schneidermayer (noun) – a term used to refer to defenseman Mathieu Schneider in a situation where he is signed to replace the minutes of retirement-muller Scott Niedermayer.

LockoUK (noun) – a collective scheme by players to utilize whatever means necessary (surgery, injury, or possible retirement) to avoid taking intercontinental flights for regular season games in London.

I’ve been under the weather the past couple of days, but fortunately, there hasn’t been a terrible amount of Ducks news to report. Anaheim is 2-1-1 through four games this preseason, but hasn’t played a full-lineup game to really evaluate.

It’s not all meaningless news this preseason, though. Mathieu Schneider, playing in his first game in a Ducks jersey last week, fractured his ankle and will miss four weeks recovering. It’s not a huge setback, as most of that recovery time will happen before the season starts, but it does add another name to the list of Ducks stars skipping out on England.

Now I was going to write a piece about how I don't care that much about this “LockoUK” phenomenon, but my roommate has chastised me for my lackadaisical attitude towards the season openers in London. “You’re always so negative. Why not draw some cartoons celebrating NHL hockey's trip to England?”

So, without any further ado, here’s two cartoons—one from my roommate and one from me—meant to put a somewhat positive spin on the Ducks visiting London. Enjoy!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Well, my world is officially crashing apart.

Ducks forward Samuel Pahlsson will miss 3 to 5 weeks with a sports hernia, Anaheim Executive Vice President/General Manager Brian Burke told media Thursday.

"Sammy went through abdominal pain throughout the playoffs, but the recommendation was rest....We anticipate if he misses any regular season time, it will not be a lot."

Pahlsson hasn't missed a game since 2003, playing in 275 straight regular season games and 58 straight playoff games, plus some international play to boot.

Now regular or even passing readers know my fascination with Pahlsson, but personal grieving aside, this whole situation is starting to look awfully fishy. For various reasons, some key players from the SC Finals are looking to miss the start of the season (which coincidentally starts with a pair of transatlantic flights):

• Sammy Pahlsson, Selke finalist and shut-down center, hernia surgery


• J.S. Giguere, cup-winning goaltender, hernia surgery (same surgeon)


• Scott Niedermayer, Conn Smythe winner and Norris finalist, contemplating retirement


• Teemu Selanne, scoring leader and top-line winger, contemplating retirement


• Dustin Penner, high-scoring rookie, priced himself out of town


• Chris Phillips, cup-winning-goal scorer, turns out he wasn't on our team in the first place

Maybe I'm being too skeptical here, but that seems like a lot of players conveniently finding themselves unavailable for England. But don't worry, Brits! So far as I know, all the main attractions are slated to go.

Anyways, get well soon, Sammy. Prediction: Pahlsson 1, hernia 0.

Ducks Gameday—Kunitz breaks hand; Mayor of Anaheim asks, “Who’s Kunitz?”

Round Three, Game Three: (1) Detroit Red Wings at (2) Anaheim Ducks
(Series tied 1-1, JavaGeek ‘odds’: even-steven)

Anaheim top-line winger Chris Kunitz broke a bone in his hand late in G1 after scoring the Ducks’ only goal. He had surgery on it yesterday and will be out for the duration of the playoffs. It turns out he was hurt deflecting a Pronger shot, but here's how I had pictured the injury:

So what does this injury mean to the Ducks? Well, on the surface it sucks—the Ducks are not very deep at forward, and fourth-line goon left-winger Shawn Thornton was injured in G2 and may not be available either [EDIT: Apparently Thornton is available tonight.].

In a perverse sort of way, though, injuries to left-wingers are OK for the Ducks, as it is certainly their most versatile position. Randy Carlyle is fond of his pairs—McDonald and Selanne, Getzlaf and Perry—and has moved left wingers to move up and down throughout the year. Coach Carlyle certainly has his options for a top-line fill-in, whether there be a need for speed (Marchant, Shannon) or grit (Penner, May), and I think Teemu and McDonald can operate with most anybody crashing the net. Honestly, I don’t know if the top line will be ‘set’ anytime soon—there are some benefits to the rotation method as well.

Besides, we keep calling it the ‘top line’ to fool Detroit’s best checkers. Playoff scoring to date: C. Kunitz - A. McDonald - T. Selanne: 9 g, 10 a, 19 points
D. Penner - R. Getzlaf - C. Perry: 7 g, 14 a, 21 points
T. Moen - S. Pahlsson - R. Niedermayer: 7 g, 13 a, 20 points
Anaheim's real top line? C. Pronger - S. Niedermayer - F. Beauchemin: 8 g, 15 a, 23 points
But let’s not understate Kunitz’s role—2nd on the team in hits, a good skater, and a guy willing-and-able to occupy the front of the net. The players picking up the extra minutes are definitely going to need to step up and make up for that missing element, enough to at least distract Detroit’s checking line from the real scorers.
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The Ducks come back to Anaheim from a pretty successful trip, not only because they got a road win, but because they effectively were able to neutralize a lot of Detroit’s home-ice-advantage. Before the series, the Red Wings had played 47 home games (regular season and playoffs) and been outshot only 5 times. On average, Detroit outshot visitors by more than 12 shots per game.

The Ducks not only outshot the Wings in both G1 and G2, but manufactured two tie games with 5 minutes left in regulation—essentially they were able to turn both games into coin flips. Considering Detroit’s home record (now 35-5-9), that’s quite an accomplishment.

Analysts are quick to point out that the Ducks have scored 5 even-strength goals and zero special-teams goals, while the Wings have scored zero even-strength goals and 5 special-teams goals. Personally, I think that’s a bit of a fluke, but if it remains the case the Wings could be in trouble going into Anaheim. To date the Ducks have scored 56 pp goals in Anaheim and 42 on the road, while the Red Wings have scored 47 pp goals in Detroit and 35 on the road.
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For a good read, check out one of my new favorites: Interchangeable Parts. Though Schnookie and Pookie are (GRRRRR!) Devils fans, these two teddy-bear sisters have been keeping diligent journals of both the conference finals. They don’t profess to be well-versed in the western conference teams, but their commentary is irresistible. Here’s their WCF G1 and G2 journals for your enjoyment.
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Prediction: Ducks 4, Red Wings 2. Goals by Perry, Getzlaf, Pahlsson, and Beauchemin.

p.s. I'll be at this game. I didn’t get the Row B seats, unfortunately, but I’ll still be in the lower bowl, behind Giguere for the 1st and 3rd periods—Sec. 201, Row N. I’ll be the guy in the green t-shirt acting entirely too drunk for 6 in the afternoon. You can come by say hi, but I reserve the right to reflexively defend myself. Oh, and just to keep the tab running, the Ducks are 8-0-1 when I've been in attendance this year, outscoring opponents 38-15.

Go Ducks.