Ducks Gameday—The Avery Impact

Anaheim Ducks (14-9-3, 3rd in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (10-6-6, t-7th in west)
How much will this post cost me in karma dollars?

Instead of talking up this Chicago rematch, I'm going to throw my two rambly cents in on the Avery suspension. I don't like it.

Now don't get me wrong; there's a lot to dislike about Avery, including this recent set of inflammatory remarks, but you have to recognize Avery for what he is -- a sensationalist media creation. Over the years, reporters have glorified his personality and encouraged his bad boy behavior (which I can understand -- NHLers are generally too boring for newsstands). And that's the thing -- I do believe Avery's statements were intended more to feed the hungry media than they were to hurt Dion Phaneuf / Elisha Cuthbert's feelings. He was doing what he was expected to do -- agitate and entertain -- and more or less in the manner that he was trained to do.

It wasn't out of line with the media characterization that was built up over his career, nor with the persona that the Stars signed last summer. I dunno, it's like giving a dog a treat for coming inside six days a week but then beating it for doing so on Sunday -- maybe there was a vague line that was crossed, but I don't think Avery thought he was "detrimental to the League". If anything, he was promoting the league in the best way he knew how.

Sure, it's not normally acceptable behavior to be calling out players for their love lives, and we can debate the shock value of the words "sloppy seconds" compared to other word choices, but it's not as if this elephant wasn't already in the room -- Avery did manage to get himself in trouble without naming a single name. In a practical sense, Avery took a topic that dozens of hockey writers have already made crude jokes about and then shockingly made one himself.

In short, Avery was Avery, and the NHL suspended him for it without any strong precedent. As an isolated incident involving a rival team, I probably don't care about this that much, but I do worry about where it leads. We're already in a period where player interviews are purposefully bland and carefully measured, and while Avery is certainly not the model of ideal media interaction, he was different from the robotic mold and punished because of it. Going forward I think the NHL should probably publish a list of do-not-discuss guidelines -- it's a sham that they can't define a social barrier until after it's been crossed. Even so, as I point out in the cartoon, I suspect we'll see even less personality in front of a microphone from players in the future, and that general insincerity will probably be another barrier between the players and the fans, and that's sort of a shame.

Sean Avery is no hero, and I don't mean to present him as even a likeable figure, but it's really tough for me to see the rationale for the league's suspension. I think it's a dangerous path to discourage personality in front of the microphone without any specific guidelines, and we're probably in for a blander NHL as a result (though in fairness, we were probably in for that anyway). Anyways, I'm open to being convinced -- feel free to agree or disagree or add your own two cents in the comments.

And now to the part where Sleek gets suspended:

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Listen, I love Canada. It's just when it comes to Battle of Ontario teams hiring head coaches and general managers, they really seem to have fallen in love with Anaheim's sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about.



Ron Wilson, Craig Hartsburg, Bryan Murray, and Brian Burke --
That pretty much spans the entirety of Anaheim's history right there.
Prediction: Last Friday the Ducks and Hawks skated to a 1-0 game in Anaheim, so I suspect Hiller might get the start tonight, but there's no real wrong answer in net right now. The Ducks do need to start scoring some goals, though, so let's say Ducks 5, Hawks 3. Goals by Getzlaf x2, S. Niedermayer, Pahlsson, and Perry.

Go Ducks.

Popcorn chicken sized hockey thoughts

• I have surprisingly little to say about the Stars-Ducks series so far. Part of that, naturally, is because I am in the same “completely missed game 1” boat as Sleek.

But I think it’s based mainly on the fact that my mind cannot compute what’s happening.

It is sort of like when you have a girlfriend everyone hates, but for once she’s smiling and cracking jokes and not being a femme Godzilla. And it’s sort of nice…but you keep waiting for the inevitable blowup to happen.

Honestly, the Ducks’ second period comeback seemed like a “glaring at your friend for making a harmless joke” type moment. Until, somehow, the Stars just destroyed the Ducks in the third period. With all due respect to the Ambassador of Fun and Friends, I didn't see this coming.

• The worst thing for the Ducks might be that the Stars are the last team in the league to sit on a 2 game lead. Brendan Morrow might take a human life if they don’t win a playoff series this year.

• With all the success Mike Ribeiro is having so far, it has to make Joe Thornton look even worse. It seems like playoff softees are shedding that label one-by-one each year (first it was Alf in Ottawa now Ribeiro) but yet Thornton underachieves again and again.

• Patrick Marleau is redeeming himself with some solid play this year, but I think he scores more cool points simply for bleeding profusely twice in the same game. It brought me to a question for atypical stat heads: what’s the (un)official record for a player who bled the most times in one game?
  

(Please, no Cammi Granato jokes.)

• That being said, the Sharks have to blow this thing up if they lose in the first round. Both of their losses are real groin kicks. Then again, they've done everything the hard way this year...
  

• Should Elisha Cuthbert be embarrassed because she slept with Sean Avery? Tagging her would be an outstanding revenge plot for Brodeur (we might have to convince him that Cuthbert’s his sister in law, though).

I’m trying to think of the best analogy for the Brodeur – Avery feud and the first thing that pops into my head is Seinfeld vs. Newman. (Avery, obviously, is Newman).

• My first '08 playoffs submission to the Single Period of Hockey I’d Show to Someone to Prove the Sport’s Superiority would probably be the third period of game two in the Wild – Avs series. Just beautiful, hyper speed high octane playoff hockey. If that didn't impress you, you’re a waste of carbon.