The Incredible Shrinking Cheechoo

(Disclaimer: I haven't actually seen any preseason games so this is all based on stats sheets, summaries, and hearsay. But numbers don't lie.)

Man, does it suck right now to be Jonathan Cheechoo or what? After last season's reasonable post-injury second half, you'd think that Cheech be feeling pretty good about things and settling in for a season next to good buddy Joe Thornton and potting in a good 40 or so goals. If you looked at Cheech's goals-per-game clip once he finally recovered from double-sports hernia surgery, it's about what you'd expect from a Rocket Richard winner.

I'm guessing when Todd McLellan first put his lines together, Cheechoo wasn't too happy about being bumped off of Thronton's wing. Ron Wilson had done that before but that was mostly to help Cheechoo find his game again while he was recovering from injury. From all accounts, Cheech is in the best shape of his career and he claims to be lighter and quicker than before, so this isn't a strategic move to accommodate injury.

Preseason, of course, is only the preseason, but it's still gotta be disconcerting to Cheechoo that 1) he's off the top line and 2) his ice time hasn't been that great so far. Here's his line from each of his preseason games:

Game 1: 5-2 win vs. Anaheim, 14:54 ice time, 1 assist, 2 shots, 0 missed shots

Game 2: 5-1 loss vs. Phoenix, 15:58 ice time, 0 points, 2 shots, 1 missed shot

Game 3: 4-3 OT win vs. Phoenix, 13:11 ice time, 0 points, 2 shots, 1 missed shot

Now you can say that his diminished ice time is due to McLellan's desire to keep everyone fresh (especially in the last game which was a back-to-back with travel) but Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton are hitting the 20-minute mark in their games. However, what I find most disconcerting is that McLellan is preaching shots on goal and Cheechoo, who's got a dynamite shot in all forms, is hardly firing the puck off.

Luc Robitaille (cheap pop from Kings fans) used to talk about how he didn't think too much about shooting, he just shot as hard and as often as possible. The idea was that you get your shots off and get into a rhythm with them. I get the sense that Cheechoo's not doing that so far, and I don't know if he's got his head up his butt from being demoted or what. It's not like he needs Joe Thornton to score; this is a guy who put in 28 goals with Mike Ricci as his center through a combination of tenacity and lots of shots from all sorts of crazy angles. Thornton obviously makes this better with his passing, but he should still be a 30-goal guy without Big Joe.

Am I fretting about a few preseason games? Maybe a little bit, but the preseason is where habits develop, and habits can turn into bad trends which can turn into bad seasons. Shoot the damn puck, Cheech.

All-Time LA Kings Hockey Team, '91-Present

Here's an idea we had kicked around a few months ago that I'm just getting to now. Hey, you get what you pay for. Anyway, we here at Battle of California thought it'd be fun to comprise a all-time all-star team for your enjoyment and also because we're bored. Obviously it'd be unfair if I were allowed to choose from the entire history of the Kings, so it was decided that I would only select from the creation of the San Jose Sharks franchise in 1991. What you'll see is an eclectic mix of Hall of Famers, flashes in the pan, and guys that are inexplicably etched in my memory. If you don't agree with my list then, you know, fuck off.

(Thanks to Hockey-Reference.com, which I'm seriously thinking about making my home page.)


Offense

1st Line:

Luc Robitaille-Wayne Gretzky-Jari Kurri

Luc Robitaille is the greatest King in the history of the team and obviously belongs on the 1st line. Wayne is 4th all-time in Kings' points and has the highest points per game total in team history (1.70). Jari Kurri was only on the team for a little while and wasn't as great as he was in Edmonton, but he played a great two-way game and was a leader on the ice. He was my 2nd favorite forward from those early '90s Kings teams, behind someone else that'll make an appearance later.

2nd Line:

Ziggy Palffy-Jason Allison- Adam Deadmarsh

The LAPD line was only really together for one season, in 2001-2002. Though they were never healthy together for a long period of time, they managed to tally 195 points as a line and were 1-2-3 in scoring on that team.* It's crazy to think that those three comprised one of the best lines in hockey in 2002 and by 2004 they were pretty much done as NHLers. When people declare Dave Taylor's tenure as Kings GM a failure they usually neglect to reference that point.

*4th? Jaroslav Modry. Hockey is weird.

3rd Line:

Alexander Frolov-Anze Kopitar-Tony Granato

It's weird to think about, but Alexander Frolov has been on the team for 5 seasons now. He's the last link the Kings have to the playoffs, and for that he earns a spot on this list. Kopitar is there mostly because the Kings haven't had good luck with centers in the past 2 decades. (Seriously, who was I supposed to put here, Josef Stumpel?) I imagine he'll actually earn his way onto this list before too long. Tony Granato was my favorite forward growing up, mostly because he was a huge asshole and had a nice shot. I know, he sticked that one guy in the head, but I thought that was hilarious so it's okay. Plus, he's related to Ray Ferraro and I don't think Ray would allow that if he didn't think Granato was cool.

4th Line:

Ian Laperriere-Dave Taylor-Gary Shuchuk

If hockey goons were The Brothers Karamazov, Ian Laperriere would Alyosha. That doesn't make sense, but it makes me sound smart, doesn't it? Dave Taylor wasn't a great player by the early '90s, but he's still Dave Taylor and he would provide invaluable leadership to my imaginary team. I've always had a strange affinity for Gary Shuchuk that I can't explain and I'd appreciate it if you respected my right to privacy.

Defense

Rob Blake-Matty Norstrom

Rob Blake may be a horrible bastard that enjoys kicking sand in children's faces but he's still the best defenseman during this time period and he would've gotten more recognition in the late-90s if he hadn't been on those horrible, horrible Kings teams. Matty Norstrom embodies what you'd want your kid to play like when he or she were out on the ice. Hell, he's how I want to be when I grow up.

Marty McSorley-Lubomir Visnovsky

Marty probably doesn't belong here because he probably caused more harm than good, but I'll be damned if he didn't scare the shit out of people when he was on the ice. Lubo was a solid NHLer that blossomed into an elite player in the New NHL. Hopefully he can recover his game in Edmonton and make their All-Time team.

Alexei Zhitnik-Mark Hardy

Zhitnik was special for 2 reasons: he was the 2nd best defenseman in a core of young players that the Kings had during the early to mid-90s, and he was the subject of the one of the worst trades in Kings history. Zhitnik was traded with Robb Stauber and Charlie Huddy for Grant Fuhr, Denis Tsygurov and Philippe Boucher. Fuhr would play 14 games for the Kings, accumulating a 4.04 GAA and a Cloutier-esque .876 save percentage, while Zhitnik would go on to be a key contributor to a Sabres team that went to the NHL Finals. Mark Hardy did this:




Goaltending

Kelly Hrudey
Felix Potvin

Fuck what other people say, the fact is that Kelly Hrudey had the longest tenure of any goaltender on the Kings and wasn't that bad. Felix Potvin had the best peak of any Kings' goaltender, posting a team-best 2.35 GAA and a .906 save percentage. I had a Felix the Cat shirt during the Kings' run in 2001 and wore it to school throughout that period. I was beaten mercilessly.

So there you go. I'm throwing down the gauntlet to Sleek, O'Brien and the San Jose Clan: come up with your own all-time team that can beat mine. I can't wait to hear how Paul Kariya and Owen Nolan are somehow good.

I Don't Know What These Mean

Ducks owner Henry Samueli pled guilty to doing rich white guy things and will have to pay a $12.2 million dollar fine. No prison, of course, because he's a rich white guy and this is Southern California. Anyway, does this mean the Ducks are going to move to Hamilton and Earl is going to have to become my butler? Probably!

In other news, Luc Robitaille is apparently not "lucky" in his friends, as he has been connected to William "Boots" Del Baggio III (there are 3 "Boots'" running around?) in some sort of loan investment thing. Who am I, Donald Trump, leave me alone. I guess you could say he was "knocking boots" with Boots. Luc'll be fine, it just kinda makes him look bad. The article also implies that AEG loaned Boots money in exchange for a possible move of the Predators to Kansas City some day. Does this mean the Predators are going to move to Nashville and Earl is going to have to become my butler? Probably!


Edit: And now Samueli has been suspended indefinitely by the league. Wow?

What a difference a pick makes...

Trevor Linden could have ended up being the captain of the Dallas PrettyDamnGoods...

Once people get past the fact that hockey is being played in a state dominated by fantastic steak houses, BBQ, country music and oil money (oh, don’t forget the Dallas Cowboys), they actually realize that the Stars have been a fairly successful little hockey franchise.

And if you had to point to one moment that made (or conversely, could have broken) the Stars in Dallas, just look at what the then-North Stars did with their No.1 pick in 1988. After some debate, the Stars rolled the dice with little Mikey Modano instead of the safer pick of Trevor Linden.

This great article inspired such a chilling thought. You at least need to check out the second photo of Modano, who looks like an '80s teen comedy villain (I can almost hear him screaming "Daaarsh!")

Trevor Linden isn’t chopped liver either – he’s more like barbecued chicken to Mike Modano’s Texas T-Bone (boy, that sentence makes me look gay, but damn it I’m sticking by my steak analogy!!).

It’s impossible to imagine the Stars without Mike Modano.

Would they still even be in Texas if the meat-and-potatoes Linden would have been their pick?

Who would be shagging Willa Ford right now?

Could the Vancouver Canucks have been a dynasty riding high on the unfair abilities of a Modano-Bure-Mogilny line while Mark Messier and the New York Rangers still would be left hunting for that elusive Stanley Cup??

Modano is on the short list of the best American hockey players to ever lace up skates alongside Chris Chelios, Mike Richter, Jeremy Roenick and others. And the Stars are easily one of the most successful American hockey teams outside of Canada and the Northeast. There's more to the Stars success than just that draft pick, but I'd argue that only the Penguins would have been more lost without their superstar Mario Lemieux.

I shudder to think of what I would be writing about right now if not for that draft pick. (Current events…Tim Russert…Paul Pierce... ugh)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

So, what are the most important draft picks the other (or perhaps I should say, real) Battle of California teams have made?

I’d love to hear some stories of the good times and the regrettable, not-so-good times.

If I had to venture a guess it would be:

Paul Kariya (Anaheim)

Patrick Marleau (San Jose)

Luc Robitaille (LA).

But I’m all ears... Maybe we can even come to a consensus on the biggest draft-day bust of all the Battle of Californ-ee.

The Fatuous Four

The Kings Madness competition is now down to its final four. There have been upsets, buzzer beaters and heartbreak so far, but now it's serious, folks. Here are my original predictions and here are the final match-ups:

Wayne Gretzky

vs.

Luc Robitaille

Holy shit. This is basically the Western Conference Finals, because whoever wins is pretty much guaranteed to win the whole thing. I mean, you have the world's greatest hockey player versus "Lucky" Luc Robitaille. Here's the way I see it:


Wayne Gretzky is The Great One. He's so far above Luc Robitaille in terms of hockey ability it's ridiculous. But, he doesn't belong to the Kings. He doesn't belong to the Oilers.* He belongs to hockey fans everywhere. Gretzky gave us 8 great years, but that wasn't unique to us; he gave that to fans of hockey everywhere. I mean, last year Columbus fans gave Gretzky a standing ovation at the NHL draft. It's ridiculous and foolhardy for Kings' fans to try and claim him for themselves.


Luc Robitaille, on the other hand, is a great player who completely belongs to the Kings. He was drafted, groomed, and celebrated by Los Angeles. He owns the Kings all-time scoring record is staying with the team after his playing career ended. More importantly (at least to me), he was never really the same when he was with another team. He gets traded to Pittsburgh and then New York and puts up a high of 69 points in 3 seasons; then he comes back to LA and puts up 74, 74, and 88 point seasons in consecutive years. He goes to Detroit and wins a Cup, but then he comes back to LA and has a renaissance. Plus, Luc has a way better personality and is far more fun than Gretzky. You wouldn't vote for Luke Skywalker over Han Solo, would you? Wayne Gretzky is hockey, but Luc Robitaille is the Los Angeles Kings.

*Gretzky's Hall of Fame display has his Edmonton and Team Canada jerseys hung up, proudly displayed. His Kings jersey? On the ground, wrapped up so you only see his name on the jersey and not the Kings crest. Oh, Canada.

Rob Blake

vs.

Anze Kopitar

What the hell? This is like if George Mason and Davidson both made it to the Final Four. Hold on, I need to talk to Kings fans. If you're not one, skip this.

C'mon guys, the Kings have 41 years of history and you vote for the guy who has been on the team for 2 years? That's stupid. Blake is acceptable, since he's the only King to win a Norris Trophy, but Kopitar? Maybe one day, but it's retarded for him to get this far. He was in the same division as Marcel Dionne, for God's sakes! Who did he lose to anyway... Marty McSorley? And in the Elite Eight you voted for Dustin Brown over Rogie Vachon??? And you voted for Kopitar over Kelly Hrudey????????????? God you guys are idiots. How are we supposed to brag about how we are an actual team to Anaheim and San Jose if you guys are going to only pick players that have been around for the past 15 years? At least fake like you care about the past. You're embarrassing me.


So, in conclusion, I think it should go like this: Robitaille wins over Gretzky (with all due respect), Bowlby beats Kopitar, Luc wins the whole thing. Afterwards, the Kings start showing mandatory history films before games.


Edit: Fuck, Ovechkin tied Robitaille's record last night. Well, now you better vote for him just to make him feel better.

Kings Gameday: Uh-Oh

LA Kings (thud) @ St. Louis Blues (28-27-10, 14th in West)

5:30 PST, FSN West

I write for a blog, and as part of that I'm required to love Alex Ovechkin. (I'm also required to kill 1 person of Eric McErlain's choosing.) Last night on Versus, they showed a little thing about Ovechkin and a few other Capitals tooling around on Segways and it was hilarious. Here's a little clip:




So, as you see, I love Alex Ovechkin. But lately, Ovechkin has been pissing me off. He had a hat trick last night to bring his goal total up to 52 on the season, and I just realized that Alex is dangerously close to breaking Luc Robitaille's immortal single-season record for most goals by a left winger. Robitaille, of course, set the record in '92-'93. Wayne Gretzky was injured for about half that season, so Luc carried the team (with an assist or 60 by Jari Kurri). I can't hear the number "63" without automatically thinking about Luc Robitaille and that beautiful Cup run that culminated with Los Angeles' victory over Toronto. (Nothing happened after that, you hear me? Nothing!!!) If Ovechkin takes that away, I may not be able to like him anymore.

Note: May not actually be Luc Robitaille

But Ovechkin seems like a cool guy, so I'll make him a deal: stop scoring goals so much and I won't have to hate you. Score, like, 60 goals. That's very respectable and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Leave Luc with the record. Leave me with the record. Please?

***

Brian Hayward was in rare form last night during the Ducks-Senators game. When he wasn't bitching that Marty Turco was one of the NHL's Players of the Month instead of Giguere (and he has a point, but who cares?), he was harping on the size of Martin Gerber's pads. John Ahlers got in on the action, at one point saying (paraphrase), "Is it possible that Gerber's pads are so voluminous, that he can't feel the puck, is that something that's... (5-second pause) ...Niedermayer passes out of the corner..." Martin Gerber has large pads, huh? I wonder where he could have learned that little trick...

***

Oh wait, there's a game today. Umm, the Kings have been losing a lot despite the play of the young guys, and Jack Johnson almost killed a guy. The Blues suck, they're in 14th in the West, Paul Kariya is a douche bag, blah, blah, blah.

Prediction: Kings win, 21-7, Kopitar with 2 touchdown passes, Brown with a rushing TD. ...Wait, the Kings play hockey???

Moments in history: Luc Robitaille silences a drunk Earl Sleek

Well, in BoC news, the L.A. Kings have decided to retire good ol’ #20 for fan favorite Luc Robitaille on January 20th, in a game against the Phoenix Coyotes. This probably paves the way for Rob Blake to get his #4 up in the rafters in a few years also, in a little section they’ll call “Guys who we sent to cup-winning teams”.

Any way, flash back with me to November 9, 2001, back when Robitaille was a cupless wonder just getting started on his Red Wings career. I secured 2nd row seats to the Detroit-Anaheim game, invited some of my buddies (including one huge Detroit fan and one huge L.A. fan), and we proceeded to do our usual custom of pre-game drinking until we felt properly obnoxious. And boy, were we ready by game time.

Now the 2nd row can be a real treat for a fan who’s done his prerequisite drinking, because you have the ability to yell directly at a player skating by with the confidence that he can hear you. Don’t get me wrong; just because I heckle doesn’t mean that I don’t respect. Luc is a fantastic sniper who fashioned an incredible career and is probably in my top-50 favorite NHLers of all time; he just happened to be in the wrong building that day.

For this particular game, I was fixated on the fact that Lucky Luc’s next goal would be his 600th career goal. Every time he would skate nearby, I would stand up and yell, “Hey Luc! Five-ninety-nine!” Even my section got into it, to the point we would get looks from passing Red Wings, always a nice treat.

Well, before long, Luc had quite enough of me and my antics. He shoved a puck past J.S. Giguere on a 1st period power play and just like that, I was out of yelling ammunition. Luc, of course, got his proper ovation, and it even turned out to be the only goal of a 1-0 game, with the Ducks managing a paltry 19 shots at Hasek*.

So that’s how I saw a historical moment for Lucky Luc, and hey, I even tell myself that I was a part of making it happen. Congratulations, Mr. Robitaille, on one hell of a career. Glad I could be there for one of the big moments.

* A good source for hockey boxscores (since Sept. 1997) is here.