Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Kings are Disappointing

The Kings played two games this weekend and scored 1 goal. That sucks. I know the Kings are better this season with this new "defense" thing (some people spell it with a "c," I don't know why) but holy Christ is it boring. Say what you want about last year, but at least the Kings were scoring some fucking goals, man. Can't I just see Kopitar say fuck it and spend the whole game in front of his own blue line? Just once? And I know I keep saying it, but the Kings' bottom 6 is completely fucked. I don't know what the hell is going on with those guys but the 3rd line is posting the following Times on Ice:

Ivanans (3:36)-Handzus (16:36)-Simmonds (8:53)

Handzus is playing good minutes but they're kind of scattered and I doubt he really knows when he's getting used next. And if Ivanans is only going to play 4 minutes, why not just sit him? His playing time is as annoying as that chick who keeps bothering me.* The Kings are calling up John Zeiler and I have to imagine he'll skate in Ivanans' stead next game, which is great because he's the one player I find less effective than Ivanans.

The Kings are weird right now.

*Look, all I'm saying is that she's the one getting the abortion so I don't see why I have to pay for half of it.**

**Too far? I think that was too far.


Earl Sleek said...

Yeah, even from the nosebleeds last night it was tough to spot many instances of the Kings even being remotely dangerous (and it wasn't just the case of Anaheim's blueline being stellar, either).

I hear you, Rudy. I know Kings fans are getting all happy about how few shots are being allowed (and there's certainly some good things that can be said about that), but it does seem to come at an offensive price.

Does it pay off? Tough to say, I guess, but I would have figured that a Kings lineup with Kopitar, Brown, Frolov, and O'Sullivan would be tough to shut out. Except now that each of the Ducks goalies has done it.

cristobal said...

Wow, Rudy, abortion-humor is always going to be a tough sell. I'm assuming it's Heidi you're talking about. Give us the gossip, if you've got it.
Maybe you were talking about the Kings offensive prowess when referring to an abortion. We sometimes forget that the defen(c)emen are part of the offense, too, especially with the Kings. It's just not going to help when your (Lombardi's) acquisitions are O'Donnell, Gauthier, Greene, and Quincey. I like them all for their style, it just doesn't work if you want to score goals.
I'd, for once, like a coach to come in and say we're going to learn how to score like crazy, then worry about team-defense later. What's the difference? You can teach a dog to defend but you can't teach a dog to pick out the top corner of the net with a one-timer.
It all wouldn't be so frustrating if Murray weren't playing the games he is with the lineup.
Harrold shouldn't be on the wing unless it means we don't have an NHL caliber right wing outside of what's here already.
Preissing is managing to make himself invisible out there, even on a power play.
The team is down by 1 goal in the 3rd period and there's no attempt to put out the best players, even if it means Stoll as a defenseman, and generate a goal. Murray didn't even bother to pull the goalie.
Think back to the Calgary game and Murray had a power-play starting with an offensive zone face off and 1:30 left in the game and he still didn't pull the goalie.
You've gotta give the team a chance.

Earl Sleek said...

Wow, Rudy, abortion-humor is always going to be a tough sell.

I disagree. The way society has been going, we'll all probably be telling yuk-yuk abortion jokes within five years.

It all wouldn't be so frustrating if Murray weren't playing the games he is with the lineup.

This is probably true, though I guess I should note that Carlyle does a lot of this also -- Getzlaf and Perry are a fixed pair, as are Morrison and Selanne, but their wingers come and go. Certain players like Marchant and Carter have fluctuated between scoring roles and stopping roles all year (though Bobby Ryan might put an end to that).

BTW, I did get to spend some money on expensive nosebleed liquor last night, and as such, I came home uselessly drunk last night. Burke week starts tomorrow.

win in 2025? said...

They're getting a lot of shots.....and rebounds.....but CALDER SUCKS! He can't finish. Put O'Sullivan up with Brown and Kopi.

RudyKelly said...

I think I need to start calling Ted Purcell "The Other Side" because that's where the grass is always greener, but I still think the Kings need him alongside Handzus and Simmonds. FroMollStoll is playing the key defensive minutes so Pucell's defensive deficiencies shouldn't be too exposed and he'd really help create offense on that line. Hell, play Richardson. Play Moulson. Play fucking Armstrong, just play someone who can do anything offensively.

brokeyard said...

the nosebleeds last night

How did those seats compare to your usual seats?

Earl Sleek said...

How did those seats compare to your usual seats?

To Row B? It's not that different a discussion than the Rinkside vs. Traditional View debate.

When you're in the upper deck, you get to see a lot more plays develop -- guys skating away from the puck, etc. -- but it can be a little tough to figure out who's who (especially when two guys are making their debuts). When you're up close, it's hard to follow any play develop. Instead, I pretty much just watch how one guy battles with another guy. I can't really follow much more than that, and I miss a ton.

Still, I like the Row B in the small doses that I get it. You'll never follow the game as well as at home, but you will feel the hits in a pretty unique way. Plus there's always watching players sit in the penalty box -- that's definitely a unique bonus (though I don't watch the Ducks' penalty kill from Row B very much as a result).

Earl Sleek said...

In other news, the lengths the Ducks are going to create cap space is getting pretty damn silly.

I almost have to wonder whether the reason the Ducks even have an ECHL affiliate in Bakersfield was just for this sort of cap-math b.s.

See you tomorrow, kids!

RudyKelly said...

It sucks that they actually have to report to Bakersfield because who wants to go to Bakersfield? I'm pretty sure Mr. Baker looked out as his farm and thought, "This sucks."

Earl Sleek said...

You're right, of course, but don't forget where they are coming from.

...because who wants to go to Bakersfield?

Kids from Iowa, that's who. "Wow, what a nice Iowa they've got here!"

brokeyard said...

This angered me. On "Teen" Jeopardy tonight, one of the categories was about "blue" things. So Alex asked "The St. Louis Blues play THIS sport."

And no one even had a guess, all three contestants were stumped. When does the NHL get back on ESPN?

RudyKelly said...

I kick ass at Teen Jeopardy. I wish they'd let me on now, I'd fuck those nerds up.

My favorite Teen Jeopardy moment was a few years ago when one of the kids said that being on Jeopardy was the best thing he'd ever done in his life. Alex laughed and remarked, "Well that just shows what a boring life you've led 'til now!" The kid looked crushed.

Kevin Y said...

*Look, all I'm saying is that she's the one getting the abortion so I don't see why I have to pay for half of it.**

**Too far? I think that was too far.

Ignoring the content here, did you just put an asterisk within an asterisk statement? I don't know what's going on in the world anymore!

By the way, for the leak of the new Kings' third jersey, check out http://www.icethetics.info/blog/2008/11/18/icethetics-live-chat-xi.html

cristobal said...

Back to the hockey - Yes, why was Simmonds cut so short on time? He was Player of the Match against Dallas, thursday.
The excuse for the loss going the rounds is fatigue. I doubt Simmonds was fatigued so it makes it even worse.
Murray's over-taxing Kop and Brown. Too many minutes.
If Zeiler plays I'm going to start getting angry.
I'd love to have the chance to play god and put Tukonen on this team for 5 games, at least 15 minutes a night. It would help me sleep at night.

-so maybe i'm naive, but is it Heidi we're talking about? Is she really pregnant, and who's daddy?

If feel so dirty now. Like when I watched 90210 even though my girlfriend wasn't there.

Unknown said...

I agree with some of the lines comments. I like what Calder is doing on the cycle a lot of times but man he isn't finishing. If he doesn't get a tip in, he aint scoring. I'd be interested to see Boyle play with Kopitar and Brown because he has hands. More alarming is the amount of times that Kopitar has had grade A opportunities and fans on the puck or puts it in the goalies chest. They are getting the chances with Terry Murrays system, but at some point its up to the players to finish. But for gods sakes, quit playing ivanans and gauthier! Put Harrold back on D! Play Richardson and Purcell! Sorry for all the exclamation marks, I thought I was in US magazine for a minute.

Anonymous said...

Tukonen was a wuss. Quess you like your players softer than your ladies.