Kings Gameday: Poor Dion

LA Kings (arr?) @ Phoenix Coyotes (29-25-4)

6:00 PST, FSN West






In the first period, Phaneuf tried to hit 6'7" Brian Boyle and got dropped like a sack of shit. He got his revenge later, hitting Boyle from behind as Boyle beat out an icing call.

In the second period, Phaneuf got bowled over by Dustin Brown. He slashed Brown out of frustration and got a penalty, putting his team down 2 men. Whoops!

In the third, Phaneuf got rocked in the corner by 5'9" Jeff Giuliano. Everyone just kind of felt embarrassed for him by that point.

Guh?

Later in the third, Phaneuf missed a check on little Kevin Dallman (who played an amazing game, by the way) and lost his helmet. Finally, dejected and morose, Phaneuf silently said to himself, "Fuck this," and went to the bench. Not his best night.

So, to recap, Phaneuf got embarrassed all night, Iginla had one measly second assist, and Kipprusoff let in 6 goals on 25 shots. Nice core, Calgary, good thing they took hometown discounts (They graciously accepted $6 million? Saints!) or else your team might be fucked. Don't worry, though, there's no precedent for signing 3 great players and then sliding into last place because you can't fill in the rest of your team. (Psst! I'm talking about Tampa. And relax, Calgary fans, I'm just dicking around, don't leave me 5,000 word essays in the comments about how different Calgary is from Tampa.)

***

Old friend Craig Conroy played last night and did a pretty good job shutting down Anze Kopitar. He had a little tiff with Jack Johnson, but I'm willing to give Craig the benefit of the doubt on that one. Kopitar's line has trouble when another team puts their best line out against them, as Calgary did last night, but it doesn't really matter if Alex Frolov is going to pretend he's Joe Thornton out there. Honestly, I'm starting to fall in love.

***

Who in the hell are you?!?!?

Phoenix has been a nice little story all season, but they finally looked in the mirror and said, "Hey, we're Phoenix, we can't be good!" and started sucking again. I would think they were only good because of Ilya Bryzgalov, but if you look at their stats a big part of their success has been francophobe Shane Doan and Radim Vrbata. Radim Vrbata has 25 goals this season! Radim Vrbata! Who the hell is that? I like to think I am pretty up to date on the workings of the Pacific Division, but I have to admit I was barely aware the guy existed until 10 minutes ago. "Radim Vrbata" sounds like something my sister would make up in Scrabble. Still, he allegedly has 25 goals this year, so I guess he's good. The Pacific Division is probably the best division in hockey and I can't really see it getting any easier next season.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. Goals by Frolov, Purcell, and Brown. Phaneuf gets checked by the bus driver on the trip over to Anaheim and gets all huffy about it.

Ducks Gameday—A look back at the '03 playoffs

Dallas Stars (35-21-5, 2nd in west) at Anaheim Ducks (32-22-7, 3rd in west)

Three consecutive games against Detroit, Colorado, and Dallas means I get to talk about the (former) Big 3 of the west. Back in the late 90s, this schedule would probably mean three consecutive losses, but that was in a stretch where that Big 3 made eight straight cup finals (1995 - 2002) and were victorious in six of them. Frankly, that probably should have extended into 2003, as the Big 3 were the top seeds in the west, but the hockey gods were tired of that routine and gave the power of elimination to a certain J.S. Giguere.

During those '03 playoffs, I was nowhere near blogging, but I did have write a regular set of e-mails called "Ducks Hype", in which I chronicled some of the amazing statistics accumulated during that miracle run. It was a very small operation (the distribution list had three recipients), but I thought I'd pull some of those notes from the Dallas series just for nostalgia's sake.

April 28, 2003 (following game 2):

6-0. Against Detroit and Dallas. Detroit, who hadn't lost three games in a row all season, managed to lose four in a row to Anaheim (five, actually, if you count the last regular season matchup). Dallas, who lost just five games at home during the season (one to the Ducks, though), now is at 2-3 at home in the postseason. And now they sit in the same boat as Detroit, who was also fairly confused by their 0-2 deficit.

Consider:
1. Ten Ducks are in their first playoffs ever, including goaltender J.S. Giguere.
2. The Ducks scored their first powerplay goal of the postseason in G2, on their second 5-on-3 of the period, third of the series. Now they are 1 for 23.
3. The Ducks have been outshot in every game, a cumulated 171-120 from Detroit and 94-81 from Dallas. Combined, that's 265-201.
4. Sykora, their top goal scorer, now has but one goal (the 5-OT winner). Jason Krog, the fourth-line center, leads the team with three.
5. The Ducks have gotten zero goals from their defensemen.

Six wins, all by one goal. Four in overtime. Six different Ducks have game-winning goals. The Ducks have started 10 overtime periods (played a total of 132:43 of overtime total), been outshot in those overtimes 81-46, and Giguere has stopped every shot.

May 2, 2003 (following game 4):

No goaltender in the playoffs has faced as many shots on goal as J.S. Giguere, even though a half-dozen have played more games than Jiggy. Through eight games, Giguere has faced 325 shots, and given up 13 goals. Khabibulin in 10 games has seen 299 shots, the second-most, and has allowed twice as many goals (26). Although no goalie has seen as many shots as Giguere has, there are twelve goalies who have given up more goals.

How good is Jiggy's .960 save percentage? Consider this. Currently, Patrick Lalime is second in the league with a .940 save percentage (14 goals allowed on 232 shots). In order for him to get his save percentage up to .960, he would have to stop the next 118 shots on goal.

Lalime is also second in the league in Goals Against Average (Lalime: 1.48, Giguere: 1.27). In order for Lalime to lower his GAA to Jiggy's level, he would have to play almost 94 minutes of shutout hockey.

Lastly, although the Ducks do have a postseason record of 7-1, ironically they have spent more time trailing than leading in this postseason. They have played a total of 612:43, and they have spent 120:14 trailing vs. 118:58 leading. The reason for this discrepancy actually makes a little sense--since more than half their wins came in sudden-death overtime, they get credit for zero time with the lead.

May 7, 2003 (following game 6):

How can you say it's not magical? In all four Ducks wins against the Stars, they scored the game-winner on their final shot of the game.

How can you say it's not magical? In all six games of the series, the Stars were either tied or ahead with 2 minutes left in regulation.

In two series, then, the Ducks have won 8 one-goal games, and in 7 of those 8 wins, the game winner was after the 55-minute mark of the game.

As I reflect back, "magical" might be the right term to describe that playoff year. Even though it ended in G7 tragedy, I think that 2003 playoffs will remain the most special to me, as it really came out of nowhere and featured Anaheim's first toppling of the Big 3 dynasty. Nowadays, it isn't as big a deal; from 2003 to present, the Ducks have eliminated the Big 3 a total of four times, including two sweeps. Still, here's the question for Duck fans: which playoff year or playoff series was the most special for you?

Prediction: The Ducks have edged out the Red Wings and Avalanche; why not make it a Big 3 sweep? Ducks 3, Stars 2. Goals by Perry, Pahlsson, and Pronger.

Go Ducks.

Kings Gameday: That Doesn't Make Sense

LA Kings (poop) vs. Calgary Flames (29-20-8, 6th in West)


7:30 PST, FSN West

So on Wednesday, the Kings sent down Matt Moulson and Peter Harrold. That's okay, they've been playing well and everything, but there's no point in having them up if Blake and Nagy are ready to go. They are ready to go, right?

Nope!

Neither Nagy nor Blake are ready to go for tonight's game and probably not for tomorrow's game either. Okay, that's not too bad, maybe Scott Thornton will play with Armstrong and Ivanans and Giuliano will take a spot alongside Handzus and Calder. That's what will happen, right?

Nope!

Thornton left yesterday's practice with an injury. That doesn't mean Brian Willsie and Kevin Dallman are going to play, does it? Over Moulson and Harrold??? Dear God, surely the Kings don't hate me that much.

Yep!

Man, this whole tanking thing better be worth it. I haven't seen this much tanking since that one time I saw a tanker transporting tanks to Tankistan whilst playing the smooth vocal stylings of a tank top-wearing Durrell Babbs, AKA Tank. If I have to put up with this shit, I better get Steve Stamkos, a Stanley Cup, and a free kick to the nuts of Marc Crawford, Ron Hextall, and Bailey. (Do lions have nuts? I flunked chemistry.)

Prediction: Hide the women and children folks, this one's going to get ugly. Kings lose, 5-1. Goal by Handzus.

Edit: Okay, I didn't care too much for this stupid fucking Ultimate Highlight bullshit they have on ESPN. It's retarded, it's stupid, we all know it. They have sunk to a new low, however; they have ruined Kirk Gibsons' home run in the 1988 World Series for me. I mean, there are two famous calls of that home run: Jack Buck's "I don't believe what I just saw!" and Vin Scully's "In a year of improbables, the impossible has happened!" What does ESPN do? They put Chris Berman's voice over it. Chris "The Biggest Blight on America Since Aaron" Berman. This is the most egregious rape of my childhood since Transformers. These are the times where I'm glad ESPN doesn't have hockey. I'd rather watch Bill Clement's bug spray commercial for the rest of eternity than have hockey go back to ESPN.

I'm in love...

...with this week's PuckToon. I'm expecting a call from Hallmark any minute now.

Enjoy, and have a happy Valentine's Day!

What do you do with Six Games of Suck?

Well, the Ducks are looking reminiscent of last year's championship squad, even with the current injury to center Doug Weight. They've won their last five games in regulation, outscoring opponents 14-5, and have just concluded an eight-game road trip before enjoying the next seven games at home.

Still, there is the matter of the Six Games of Suck™, auspiciously inserted in the middle of their Niedersurgence. Below is a segmented look at the Ducks' season-to-date. Note that Scott Niedermayer made his debut in Game 35, while Teemu Selanne made his debut in Game 57.

Game No.	GP	Record	GF – GA = GD	Power Play	Penalty Kill
1 – 34	34	15-15-4	+2.38 – 2.82 = -0.44	24/155 15.5%	41/193 78.8%
35 – 50	16	12-2-2	+2.88 – 1.63 = +1.25	14/67 20.9%	8/69 88.4%
51 – 56	6	0-5-1	+0.83 – 3.00 = -2.17	2/26 7.7%	4/26 84.6%
57 – 61	5	5-0-0	+2.80 – 1.00 = +1.80	3/15 20.0%	2/22 90.9%

Games 51 - 56 represent those Six Games of Suck™, where the Ducks' offense and defense struggled mightily. Now on the surface, this somewhat resembles what happened in a 2-7-2 stretch with last year's team, but last year came with easier explanations: concurrent injuries to J.S. Giguere, Ilya Bryzgalov, Chris Pronger, Francois Beauchemin, and Todd Marchant made the lineup much more laughable. This year, however, the lineup wasn't altered to any great degree; suddenly the team just turned terrible. In four of the six games, the Ducks surrendered the first three goals of the game.

Towards the end of that stretch, an explanation was offered: the flu. Now I'm not a guy who buys into that sort of excuse very easily, but looking at the wildly different results coming from essentially the same roster, it does seem to have some credibility. Still, I'm a fan who's trying to decide how good this current Ducks team is, and part of that is determining how much the Six Games of Suck™ matter. A pure optimist would drop those games as a non-representative hiccup, and offer that the Ducks should be 17-2-2 since Niedermayer's return, outscoring opponents 60-31. A skeptic would keep those six games in the mix, and say that the Niedermayer Ducks are 17-7-3, outscoring opponents 65-49.

It's a petty argument, really, deciding whether the Ducks are truly great or merely very good. Your thoughts are welcome in the comments, but I'll close on this note: even if I include the Six Games of Suck™, since Niedermayer's return on Dec. 16, the Ducks own the league's best defense (1.81 goals-allowed per game) and the league's best penalty kill (88.0%). It's taken a while, but Anaheim now looks very capable of defending their title (though playoffs are always a crapshoot), something I wouldn't have said with much gusto before Scott's return.

Go Ducks.

Kings Gameday: Could the Kings Make the Playoffs?

LA Kings (meh) @ St. Louis Blues (24-22-8, 12th in West)

5:30 PST, FSN West



Nope.


Prediction: Kings lose, 5-3. Goals by Brown, Armstrong and Moulson.

Ducks Gameday—Warning: Dangerous Karma Ahead

Anaheim Ducks (31-22-7, t-3rd in west) at Colorado Avalanche (30-21-5, 6th in west)

The scene is set February 1st, COL @ DET: Late in the 2nd period of a scoreless game, Milan Hejduk puts a puck past Dominik Hasek, but the goal is disallowed for goalie interference. Here's Bill at A2Y:

Scott Hannan was pushed. Brett Lebda did it. I saw it. Dominik Hasek dove. I didn’t see that but I can assume it. Hejduk’s goal should have counted, but it didn’t. And all of that made me smile last night, and still warms me this morning. Somewhere in Denver the 6 remaining Dive fans angrily switched back to the Oxygen Channel, convinced the world is against them.

And we laughed at them.

The Chief then proceeds to rip on some Avalanche complaints (good fun, that), including this prescient beauty:

“If the roles were reversed Detroit would have gotten the benefit or at least a review.” ...Please. Really? How many times (even though the call’s not reviewable) has Holmstrom been shafted in similar circumstances this year?

Forward to February 10, ANA @ DET: Late in the 3rd period trailing by a goal, Nicklas Lidstrom rifles a puck past J.S. Giguere, but the goal is disallowed for a very questionable case of Holmstrom interference. Here's Matt at On the Wings:

I’m a firm believer in the idea that profanity should only be used sparingly and in times of extreme emotion. Otherwise it loses its shock value. I’ve been pissed off enough before to use language I would otherwise not use on this site, but I have so far refrained from doing so. Not this time, however.

I’m in frank agreement with the fans at Joe Louis Arena: Dan O’Halleran’s call on Nick Lidstrom’s goal was bullshit.

Now Matt is certainly not alone in his sentiment (he was just the most eloquent), and I don't intend to pick on any of these bloggers for any reactions (I quite agree with all of them); they've just put in the legwork to set up the karmic imbalance for this post.

It's true. The referees hosed the Red Wings on Sunday, just like they hosed the Avalanche the week before. And yes, it is a tragedy that in such a low-scoring league such bad calls can go unchallenged especially in crucial moments of a marquee game. But really, this is a story about what goes around, comes around. The Red Wings got a referee's favor at the expense of the Avs, but a week later got their comeuppance at the hand of the Ducks. And if there's any truth in the karmic cycle, the Ducks should have an important goal disallowed tonight in Denver. The circle would be complete and karmic balance would be restored, all in a neat little three-game package.

I guess fortunately for me, life's generally not that fair, or at least not that tidy. It's more likely that the Ducks get awarded a questionable goal tonight instead.

Speaking of unfair, how did I not hear about the NHL's new movie endeavor? I hear the film's a tragedy, but it's critically acclaimed and everything!


OK, I guess I'm the asshole.
Prediction: The Ducks are playing this game Weightlessly; Dig-Doug has gone home early with a shoulder strain, so I'd guess the Ducks play the same lineup as we saw in Detroit. I don't really mind Pahlsson centering Selanne; for sure it's two individuals playing with different mindsets, but Teemu's in a no-lose situation. If he scores, fantastic, and if he doesn't, it's just because he's one point behind Kariya for the franchise scoring lead and wants to set a record in front of the home fans. I've probably angered too many hockey gods in this post to predict a win, so Ducks 2, Avs 3. Goals by Kunitz, Pahlsson, and Selanne's goal gets arbitrarily disallowed.

Go Ducks.

What I Don't Understand

As we try to distract ourselves from Richard Zednik's neck wound (and to think, all these years I've been making fun of Alexei Yashin for wearing a turtleneck), I was thinking about things in hockey I don't understand. Everyone, whether they're newcomers or seasoned veterans of the game, have at least one rule or custom in hockey that they don't really get. I have two.

First, I don't understand why they kick people out of the face-off circle. I mean, I get why they do; I know the rule and everything. But I can't call it at all. When I think a guy should get kicked out, the refs don't. When I don't think anyone should get kicked out, the refs inevitably make someone else leave.* My roommate doesn't either, and we've both been playing hockey for years now. It is just because the rule is ambiguous, or is just something I don't know?

*I'm always kind of embarrassed for a player when he gets kicked out of the circle, because the ref will just point and tell him to get out and he always doesn't notice immediately and then he just puts his head down and skates away. Poor guy, getting humiliated in front of his friends like that.

Another thing I don't understand: why do they give both players penalties when someone gets called for diving? If a guy dove, that means to me that he created a penalty where none took place, so only he should get sent to the box. Sometimes they'll only send the diver to the box (Holmstrom got called for diving last week with no corresponding penalty), but a lot of the time it'll be one guy for hooking or tripping and then another guy for diving. It seems to me that they should only call the diver in order to discourage such practice. Am I wrong?

So that's 2 things in hockey I don't get. Anyone else have something random in the game that has always bothered them? Don't worry, we're all friends here, no one will make fun of you.

Well, unless it's something I already know, and then I'll mock you mercilessly.

And For One Day....

Dan Cloutier can smile. He saved 31 of 33, with both goals coming on the power play. Congratulations, Dan; I don't hate you today.

Edit: I just noticed that Jack Johnson had 31:44 minutes of ice time. 31:44! Lubo had 28:07. Modry was third in ice time amongst defensemen, making me wonder if Tom Preissing is eventually going to just lose it. Seriously, Crawford doesn't think he's better than Jaroslav Modry?!?!? Just trade him then.

Kings Gameday: Strange Goings On Down at Staples

LA Kings (burp) @ Columbus Blue Jackets (26-23-8, 11th in West)

3:00 PST, FSN West

Nevermind that Ducks-Wings game, this one is obviously more important.

You know what's strange? The Kings, the Laker, the Clippers, and the Ducks have all been on road trips of at least 7 games.

The Kings: 8 games; last home game January 24th; return February 15th

The Clippers: 7 games; last home game January 30th; return February 15th

The Lakers: 9 games; last home game January 31st; return February 19th

The Ducks: 8 games; last home game January 30th; return February 15th

Seriously, what the hell? I assumed their must be a convention going on at Staples Center or something, but nothing shows up on their event calendar. There's only one possible explanation for this: Secret Freemasons Convention. I'd tell Earl to go check it out since he works by there, but I'm afraid he'd just end up getting disappeared. Strange, though.

***

Clint Howard with hair.

The Kings are playing the Columbus Blue Jackets this afternoon, meaning they get to face the perpetually overrated Rick Nash. Has anyone not followed through on initial promise as much as Nash? Hey look, you have 45 points this season; congratulations, you're Dustin Brown. Plus, has anyone noticed that he looks like Patrick O'Sullivan's drunk older brother? I can't find a good picture of O'Sullivan to prove it, but I swear it's true. They're kinda like young and old Elvis.

***

I'd like to see Brian Boyle get 1 game between Mike Cammalleri and Alex Frolov. Just one game. That's all I ask. Oh, and don't make Handzus play with Giuliano and Ivanans, that's just mean. Oh, and Dan Cloutier should be playing today... mother of God.

Prediction: Kings win a barnburner, 7-6. Goals by Boyle, Frolov, Cammalleri, Kopitar, O'Sullivan, Brown, and... Dan Cloutier!!!

Ducks Gameday—Finally, a WCF rematch

Anaheim Ducks (30-22-7, 4th in west) at Detroit Red Wings (41-11-5, 1st in west)

I really don't know what to believe on the Sammy Pahlsson injury front; we've been told he's coming back any day for a month-and-a-half now. Still, a return is entirely possible this afternoon, and it would mark the first time this season that the entire A-Team would play a game together.

If so, the Ducks would be complete. And even though tonight represents the fourth and final game of the Red Wings season series, it has a strong feel of first rematch. For the first time this afternoon, Detroit will have a chance to avenge a close WCF loss to a complete Ducks roster—a team with all its wayward superstars finally reunited again.

We all remember the last thing Teemu Selanne did in Joe Louis Arena, right?
All year, the Chief at A2Y has been maintaining, probably with more faith than I've shown, that the west will come down to the Wings and "the Fowl" this spring. For a while, that seemed a bit foolish to say, as the Ducks floundered aimlessly for stretches, but as the plan has come together, it's not so far-fetched as it once was. Certainly it's still a longshot—there are lots of teams in the west to be wary of—but if both teams play to their potential, it would be one hell of a series.

More to come on that later this spring, perhaps?

Prediction: Not only will this be a good measuring-stick game, it's also going to be a big statement game. The Red Wings have such a crazy lead in the west that there's not too much left to play for in the regular season, so revenge might be a powerful motivator. Still, the Ducks are rolling. Three Ducks in particular that have impressed the last couple of games: Selanne, Schneider, and Giguere. Anyways, Ducks win 4-2. Goals by the A-Team (why not? It's NBC.): Niedermayer, Pronger, Pahlsson, and Selanne.

Go Ducks.

Present or Future? Carle or Redden?

If you believe TSN.ca (and I have no reason not to) Wade Redden was asked to waive his no-trade because the Sharks called and asked about his availability. Sources claim the offer was Matt Carle and a draft pick. Carle was just signed to a 4-year deal and has the potential to be ...well Wade Redden in about 3-4 years. Doug Wilson has not denied the interest in Redden and has not denied the trade offer. This trade would be similar to trading for Rivet last year. Trade for a veteran D-man who is scheduled to be an UFA after the season. DWilson is betting on getting Redden out of the media spotlight in Canada and once Redden sees California, he would be happy to re-sign after the season (and hopefully a long playoff run). Of course all of this is an ideal situation. The other option would be that Redden turns into Bill Guerin. Comes over in a trade, gets hurt/plays poorly and then leaves after the season to sign with another team, and Carle becomes the next Brian Leetch. It will be interesting to see how Carle plays now that he knows how close he was to being traded to another team.

Malkin' a case for the MVP

Whoo boy, tonight's pun-based headline was brought to you by Chris Berman's intern-destroying rant.

Anyway, I hate to admit this (since I write about the Stars and the Pacific Division), but the Penguins have always been my favorite team. That's right. I grew up in East Rutherford, NJ (where the Devils used to play before Barry Melrose insulted Newark) but wasn't about to root for those trap-happy-soul-sucking Devils. So I latched onto Lemieux, Jagr and Co. and the rest is history you don't care about.

So, like I was saying...the Penguins beat the Kings tonight, 4-2 (including a goal by Jordan Staal, otherwise known as Rudy Kelly's BFF) and it was all-Malkin. He had 2 goals and an assist, and barely missed a hat trick at the end of the game.

In case you've been living under a rock/ignoring Gary Bettman's squeals of terror, Sidney Crosby injured his ankle and has missed 9 games already. Many people panicked and a few experts said that it could be a blessing in disguise for his teammates to develop without a Hart trophy winner.

And that's just what happened with Malkin, who is absolutely on fire. While fellow Russian/the guy who was picked before him Alex Ovechkin is being bathed in David Amber Q & A's and franchise-crippling contracts, Malkin is matching his countrymen stride for stride.

He's still a few points behind Ovechkin, but Malkin scored a dizzying 28 points in his last 16 games. Even better, he's kept the Pens afloat while Crosby is rehabbing and Ty freakin' Conklin is in net. In 9 games without Crosby, Malkin's scored 17 points including 7 goals and the Pens have gone a respectable 5-2-2. Sure, Alex O has the Caps fighting for the top spot in his division too, but I'd venture to say the Atlantic is a touch better than the Southeast.

It's enough to at least give Malkin a piece of that Ovechkin hype.

(Coming up tomorrow: ANOTHER really bad pun, this time involving the Stars and Olli Jokinen! Plus I might add a little meat to some of the Malkin analysis in the next couple days. Maybe)

Kings Gameday: Looking Back

LA Kings (6-3-1 in last 10) @ Pittsburgh Penguins (30-19-5, 1st in pussies out with high ankle sprains)

10:00 PST, FSN West (It's criminal to make the Kings play that early)

Near the beginning of the year, the degenerates over at Pensblog asked me to write a season preview for them. Naturally I did, because I’m a fool and will work for free. The resulting post was probably my favorite of the year (which you can tell because everyone in the comments either hated it or ignored it), so I thought it’d be a good idea to take a look at that post and see where I went wrong with the Kings this season. (Remember, I thought the Kings would finish in 8^th this season. I’m stupid.) Open up the other post and read it side-by-side for full effect. What's that? You're not going through all that just to read a stupid joke hockey blog? Quit being lazy, you bastard!

#1 Young Forwards. I was pretty spot-on with this one (although I wasn't exactly going out on a limb). I predicted that Brown and O’Sullivan would break out this season, but I also said Mike Cammalleri was a good sleeper pick because he would average a point-a-game. Whoops! I’ll give myself this one.

The future... oh shit.

#2 Jack Johnson. I have to admit, I was completely wrong on Jack Johnson. I thought he’d run around hitting people and miss assignments, but surprisingly he’s been playing within himself. Sure, Bad Jack comes out every once in a while, but for the most part he's been very impressive. I was wrong on this one, but in a good way.

I don't care, I still like Handzus.

#3 New Additions. I’m not sure how to grade this one; I admitted that that Handzus was coming off an injury and curbed my prediction by saying, “If Handzus can come back from a knee injury…” but I expected him to be a little better than this. I think the free agent I’m personally disappointed in has been Tom Preissing. I just didn’t think he’d be our 5^th defenseman this season. Maybe his worth shows up a little better when he’s on a winning team. The biggest fuck up I committed was not even mentioning that we signed Kyle Calder. I was wrong on this one.

He is still 4th on the team in scoring...

#4 Lubo. Whoops. I still don’t quite know what to think of Lubo’s season. He definitely hasn’t been the Lubo of old, but there are still little flashes of brilliance that make me think he’s just having a bad year. The Kings’ biggest priority in the off-season should be getting a solid defensive defenseman to pair with Lubo. And for God’s sake, let him shoot on the power play! I was wrong on Lubo… this season.

#5 Goaltending. This is another one where I was wrong in a good way. Cloutier got hurt early so we haven’t yet been subjected to him, while Labarbera has been good enough for the Kings this season. I was wrong on this one, although to be fair it was more just a joke one more than anything.

So overall I was wrong on Lubo, Cammalleri, and the impact of Handzus. I also didn't mention it, but Blake played much worse than I thought he would coming off the hip injury at the beginning of the season. Does that translate to 7 spots in the standings? No, but then again, I obviously had emotional interest in having the Kings make the playoffs. I don't know, though, I don't think I was off by that much. (I was probably off by the Roethlisberger thing more than anything else.) I think the Kings' recent play is much more indicative of their abilities than their play in December. Oh well, we’ve been playing well lately and I expect Labarbera will play this game too, setting Cloutier up to play against Columbus.

***

It'll be interesting to see how Crawford does the lines today. Brown's back, so one would assume he'd line up in his eternal spot alongside Kopitar, but Frolov had 5 points in the 2 games Brown missed in that very spot. I'd be interested to see what Brown could do lined up with Boyle and Cammalleri; last year he played great when Kopitar was out because he had the opportunity to carry the puck up the ice. Of course, I wouldn't mind seeing Frolov reunited with Cammy, so either way...

***

You should have made the "Y" and "U" yellow too, dipshit.

This is the first time the Kings are playing the Penguins this season, but I’m already really fucking sick of them. Jesus, how many times have they been on Versus this season? Why bother showing the vastly superior Western Conference when you can show a bunch of jackasses in yellow jerseys skate through living traffic cones for 60 minutes? Hopefully the Kings can get some exposure as they kick their Crosby-less asses in the teeth. (“Asses in the teeth?” “I don’t know, this guy should be fired.”) Oh, and just because I am a petty, petty man:

Anze Kopitar: 51 points

Jordan Staal: 18 points

Prediction: Kings win, 5-3. Goals by Brown (x2), Frolov, Preissing, and Johnson. The highlight on ESPN will consist of a brief showing of Malkin’s goal and then they’ll spend 45 minutes talking about Roger Clemens.

Stinky-nacho face wash

I managed to hop in my car at the perfect time twice today, catching some very entertaining interviews with Brendan Morrow then Mike Modano on Dallas's irreverent sports radio station The Ticket.

The best interview goes to the Stars' (relatively) new captain, who discussed among other things marrying a teammate's sister (note: not in a seedy, Martin Brodeur kind of way) and the ancient art of face-washing.* I can't quote his statements precisely, but he said that the key was having gloves that are six (though it sounded like he said sixty) years old so they "smell nasty, like old nachos."

Morrow went on to mention that although Steve Ott probably should be the franchise's elite facewasher, "he's small so he probably doesn't sweat a lot." Apparently, according to Morrow, Jeff Halpern has the nastiest gloves, yet sadly he doesn't use them in a face-washing capacity. (Perhaps Ott and Halpern should trade mitts?)

Judging from that brief but hilarious interview, Morrow could have a future on NHL TV.

Naturally, though, I'm sure an NBC studio show would love to have the Ticket's other guest Mike Modano before just about any other hockey player. Modano was pretty entertaining in his own right, as the Ticket guys did what any knowledgeable Stars journalists must do and mocked Brett Hull's former title of Ambassador of Fun ("Ambassador of Nothing," Modano joked).

Modano ribbed Hull pretty mercilessly, saying he "thinks he's not from Canada" because he got "cut" from the national team. He went on to accuse Hull of skirting co-GM responsibilities to see Led Zeppelin in London and take a two-week trip to Hawaii.

The interview finished with some Willa Ford-related hilarity. When asked what Modano would do if Ford demanded a baby, he replied: "I'd tell her to get ready."

When pushed for more details he said, "I'd guess I'd have her assume the position."

The Stars might have ruffled a few feathers when they gave Modano's C to Morrow, but let it be known that both captains can rock a microphone. Since Modano was adamant about not playing the role of a coach or any all-day hockey job in the future, may he be a natural studio host?

My current NHL studio show dream team: Bucci, Barry Melrose, Marc Crawford and Mike Modano.

C'mon. You know that would be awesome.

* - They most likely asked him this question because of a recent New York Times article, which Eric McErlain mentioned at FanHouse.

Ducks Gameday—Ever Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight?

Anaheim Ducks (29-22-7, t-3rd in west) at New Jersey Devils (30-20-4, 5th in east)

Today is not only Scott Niedermayer's first game in New Jersey since he left in 2004. It's also Anaheim's first game in New Jersey since the cup finals 2003, game 7. My anger and bitterness towards the Devils has subsided since that day, but I still mourn for guys like Adam Oates and Steve Thomas. But still, I have to remind myself. Suppose the Ducks had won that G7 in Jersey. Would they have let Kariya go? Would Burke and Carlyle been brought aboard? Would Scott Niedermayer have signed with the Ducks, and would they have Chris Pronger?

It was a bitter pill to swallow, no doubt, but in a grander scheme, maybe it was a necessary lump. I'm plenty happy with the team that we've got today, and you have to think things could be very, very different had the miracle Mighty Ducks won that stupid G7 in Jersey.

Anyway, since it's so darn difficult to keep track of irrelevant conferences, Jeremy from Devils Daily contacted me to do a Q&A exchange, similar to what I've done with Senators and Sabres bloggers in the past. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten his answers back, but I will insert them as soon as I get them, and will link up to my responses at some point, too.

In the meantime, feel free to respond to any of these questions, or ask something else if you like.

[EDIT 1, 9:30 am: Steve Lepore from Kukla's Korner has e-mailed me an informed set of responses, which I'll put in blue below. If I get Jeremy's, I'll add them too.]

1. First off, why not tell me a bit about the New Jersey blueline--it looks a lot different than what I saw back in 2003. I'm familiar enough with Vishnevski and Colin White, but who are these other guys logging the defenseman minutes, and what do they contribute?

[SL] Well, White and University of Minnesota d-man Paul Martin have led this defense, they have done a yeoman's job in leading the way for this club. Marty is the reason we're in a playoff race, but Martin and White have been terrific on the backline supporting him. The rest of the backline is a hodgepodge group. Vishnevski and Rachunek have been a waste of time to many Devils fans, but are merely mediocre to me. Mike Mottau has been a nearly Brian Rafalski-level revelation on defense. Remember how we found Rafalski? It's eerily similar to Lou Lamoriello discovering Mottau. He's played 25 Minutes on some nights! He kills penalties, and is steady on the d-line. Johnny Oduya is hated by the hundreds of thousands of Devils fans, but he is leading us in +/- at +13. He has not been nearly as bad as anyone says, but he's gotta calm down. He puts way too much pressure on himself. Larry Robinson has proved his weight in gold with the work he's done with this defense.

2. One of the big stories last spring was the late-season coaching changes by the Devils -- with four games to go (as I recall), Lou inserted himself behind the bench, and this summer gave the reigns to current coach Brent Sutter. Compared to last year, what are the strengths that Sutter brings to the coaching position? And how likely is it that Sutter gets to finish his existing coaching contract?

[SL] Sutter has been no-nonsense with this club. He's made everyone accountable. He's been loud and in charge. The problem with Julien was that the inmates were running the asylum. I think this is the guy that Lou saw and said "He's the guy". Not just to take over the coaching job, to replace Lou when he (God forbid) hangs it up in a few years.

3. One thing that the Ducks and Devils have in common -- they were both ripped off in last year's Selke Trophy voting, with clearly the worst choice Rod Brind'Amour using name recognition to his advantage (you can see my post about it here). It's a bit tragic, in that Pahlsson particularly opened some eyes in the playoffs, but now it seems that both Pahlsson and Pandolfo have been too injured to get another nomination this year. As a Devils fan, how much does it bother you that Brindy took home the trophy he didn't deserve, and do you think Selke voters will ever get a better handle on what they are voting for?

[SL] Well, considering I didn't remember it 'till you mentioned it...Pandolfo and Madden have deserved a golden ticket for years for their defensive play. Pandolfo's injury was a big blow to this club, especially since he was our leading scorer at the time, sadly. Selke voters are probably worse than Emmy voters. That's why a Red Wing or Brind'Amour will win it again this year.

4. As for this season, aside from the obvious pick Brodeur, who's been the Devils' most valuable player? Who has been the best value on their current-year contract? And if you could remove one existing contract from the New Jersey salary roster right now, who would it be?

[SL] It's seriously Brodeur, Earl. He makes $5 Million a year. Other than him, probably Zach Parise for MVP, and Mike Mottau for best value, as he's under $1 Million a year. I would take Dainius Zubrus and his 6 year, $24 Million deal off the cap, easy.

5. This will be the Ducks' first visit back to New Jersey since G7 in 2003, a very heartbreaking day from a Ducks fan's perspective. What's your best memory about that series or that cup run, and where does it rank among all of NJ's championships? Feel free to gloat; with Anaheim's recent cup win, we've gained a bit more perspective (and thick skin) about that 7th-game kick to the nuts.

[SL] I remember it, probably because it happened closest to tonight. It's really our 3rd best championship in my opinion (Sorry Earl). The Game 7 in Ottawa, Jeff Friesen's performance, Jamie Langenbrunner's cementing his place in Devil history, Marty getting ROBBED of the Conn Smythe (3 Shutouts in a series!). But yeah, I still remember a lot more about the '95 and '00 runs, but by no means is it less special. It is easily the loudest the Continental Airlines Arena has EVER been.

Prediction: I'll leave the same answer I left to answer Jeremy's questions. Ducks 2, Devils 1. Goals by Pahlsson and Rob Niedermayer, the two skaters remaining from 2003. Even though Giguere might be motivated to play, I'd expect to see Jonas Hiller tonight. Jiggy played last night, and will probably want to go Sunday in Detroit.

Go Ducks.

Huh

So the Kings actually beat the Red Wings last night. It wasn't one of those, "Got a few lucky breaks and then shut down defensively" games either; the Kings were the ones catching the bad breaks, what with Jason Labarbera pulling his best Dan Cloutier impression last night.* The Kings entered the third down, 3-1, and I had pretty much chalked it up as another game the Kings should have won but didn't. Earl had a great line in the Ice Sheet over at the Fanhouse: "In Biblical fashion, though, David forgot to die." An even better analogy would have been, "In Biblical fashion, after David had to find his slingshot because his idiot friend Jason lost it, David kicked Goliath's ass."

*You know when you're playing in a rec league and your goalie can't make it? You ask the goalies coming off the rink but they can't play so you have to borrow the rink's stuff and that random guy on your team has to play goal? That's what Labarbera looked like last night.

This game was pretty much all about Alex Frolov. He was out there for all 4 third-period goals and I would say pretty much dominated. For one night at least, he played better than Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg. I'd say he's relatively healthy (no hockey player is completely healthy this time of year) for the first time this season and we're starting to see how good he can be.

Having Frolov and Kopitar on the same line isn't really fair, is it? I love the Brown/Kopitar connection (these two should have a nickname), but Frolov and Kopitar out there at the same time is insane. Look at tonight: Handzus' line played well but they're not really a scoring line, Moulson was invisible, Boyle had a few opportunities but couldn't close, and Derek Armstrong is awful, yet we still beat the Red Wings on the strength of that one line and our power play. Hmm...

***

What's crazier, that Dion Phaneuf signed a 6-year, $39.5 million dollar contract as a 22-year old or that Calgary fans were praising him for taking a hometown discount, just like Iginla ($7 mil/yr) and Kiprusoff ($5.83 mil/yr)? They better hope Kristian Huselius and Daymond Langkow really love being a Flame, because otherwise they're pretty fucked.

***

Dustin Brown had a son and will be back for Saturday's game. He couldn't have made it back tonight? Not to be insensitive, but is a baby really that much to look at? He could have come back, played tonight, and then seen the kid when the Kings come back in a week. That way, the wife has had a little time to get back in shape (That's how long it takes, right? A week?) and the baby wouldn't be all covered in slime. But hey, what do I know, I just care about this team.

(No seriously, congratulations. I think the baby's first word should be, "Anze.")

Sharks-Avalanche photos

Here are a few photos from the Colorado Avalanche 3-1 win over the San Jose Sharks last night at HP Pavilion. The Avalanche came out on fire, and it took a period and a half for the Sharks to match that intensity. Jose Theodore came up big in the final 40 minutes. With Sakic, Stastny and Ryan Smyth injured, Colorado received solid play with goals by Ben Guite, TJ Hensick, and Jeff Finger. Marek Svatos and Jaroslav Hlinka also provided consistent pressure.

More notes and photos will be up on Sharkspage soon.

Kings Gameday: Dean Lombardi is a Diabolical Genius

LA Kings (poop) @ Detroit Red Wings (Umm, they're alright)

4:30 PST, FSN West

(Check out Earl's post regarding Anaheim's visit to the White House below. I wonder if they made Todd Bertuzzi and Doug Weight stay in the bus.)

It’s tanking time around the NHL as teams desperately try to get a better draft position. Soon veterans will be getting “shut down” because of nagging injuries that we’ve never heard of before and in their place will be goofy-looking scrubs whose main job is to suck badly enough that their team loses games. Toronto is starting the Tank Train a little early this year and teams like Tampa Bay, Chicago and Edmonton will soon be joining them. (Oh wait, Edmonton gave their first, second, and third-round picks to Anaheim. This can not be brought up enough.) The Kings have been getting in on the action as well, sitting Rob Blake for 2 weeks and forcing guys like Scott Thornton and Brian Willsie to miss games with mysterious injuries. A funny thing happened, though; the Kings played better with their goofy-looking scrubs. How could this happen? Suddenly, I came to a startling revelation:

What if the Kings have been tanking since the beginning of the season???

Think about it: the Kings have a stable of young NHL-ready talent in Manchester and yet play rubes like Willsie, Thornton, Armstrong and Giuliano. Why would they do this if they really cared about winning? Matt Moulson comes up during the middle of the season, plays well, and then gets sent down until a few weeks ago. Ted Purcell leads the AHL in scoring among rookies and yet can’t get called up to save his life. It's going to take a random injury to a current King to get him up here. (I’m working on it.) The one guy they actually call up and keep is Jeff Giuliano, who I’m pretty sure has cystic fibrosis. Brian Boyle looks much, much better than Derek Armstrong, yet he just recently gets called up? As the venerable Tone Loc would say, “Something ain’t stirring the Kool-Aid, man.”

Here’s my theory: Lombardi didn’t think the Kings would make the playoffs this season. He had these fairly expensive players (Willsie, Thornton, Armstrong) who, while terrible at hockey, would not bitch about playing time and would generally fly under the radar. Next season, the old guys will be jettisoned in favor of these young players, who would miraculously play well and lead the Kings to glory, allowing the Kings to be the sweetheart of the league before getting mercilessly brutalized in the playoffs by Dallas.

Sound crazy to you? “Why would they call those players up now, pushing the Kings out of the #1 spot?” Well, Lombardi has already thought of that; that’s why he called up Dan Cloutier. QED.

Prediction: I’ll make 2 predictions, one if Labarbera plays and one if Cloutier plays. If Labarbera plays, I’d say Kings win, 4-3. If Cloutier plays, Kings lose, 10-0. Think it’s impossible for even Cloutier to let in 10 goals? Watch this:




God help us all.

Ducks Gameday—If you're ever in New York, come see the White House!

Anaheim Ducks (28-22-7, t-5th in west) at New York Rangers (27-23-6, 7th in east)

Well, the Ducks certainly didn't take the easiest route between New York games. Most of the Ducks took a quick trip to Washington, D.C., to meet President Bush (as is customary for cup champs to do). Bush opened his comments with this one-liner:

"Have you noticed a lot of security around here? It's because the Vice President heard there were some Ducks around."

I won't comment on the merit of the joke itself, but allow me to reiterate how good it is that Ottawa didn't win the cup finals; Bush would have had hours of material ("The last time I got together with this many Senators, we passed the Homeland Security Act, yuk yuk").

Below is a photo of the group; note how savvy Bush's Secret Service team is. They kept Chris Pronger's elbows at a maximum distance from the President's head at all times.


Question for Duck-haters: Who is the biggest douchebag in this photo?
Speaking of the President, this week's PuckToon is designed around Super Tuesday's primary elections. I'm pretty sure my political ignorance is evident, but that's the beauty of drawing cartoons: you're already an idiot going into it.

Prediction: I didn't realize this until Battle of New York brought it up, but the Rangers are 0-6-2 against the west this year, outscored 31-16. It seems like the setup for an easy win, but what's really been easy this year? Ducks win a narrow one 4-3. Goals by Pronger, Kunitz, May, and Selanne.

To our Chinese readers: Happy New Year! Go Ducks.

Dear God...

...Dan Cloutier has been called up. (Scroll down to the section about the Kings.) Everyone get out their Dan Cloutier Diaster Kit and make sure it includes the following items:

Stress Doll
Blindfold
Soothing CD; Enya is recommended
Ear Plugs (so you can't hear the laughter of other teams)
Bottle of the Alcohol of Your Choice

If you have any small children in the house, it's best to send them to a family member's house far away from a television that receives Kings' games. This is it, folks, this is the big one.

A day that will live in infamy...

For some people, today is Super Tuesday. For others, it is Fat Tuesday. For even others, it's just another muthafuckin' day of the work week.

But as for Rudy and Earl, we're celebrating for a whole other reason today. Bottoms up!

(Drawn in proud BoC tradition.)

Kings Gameday: They're Dropping Like Fries!

LA Kings (durr) @ New York Rangers (27-22-6, 7th in East)

4:00 PST, FSN West

(Wait, what? "Flies?" That doesn’t make any sense.)

Happy Election Day! I hope all of you go out and participate in the democratic process. I voted for Lubo because of his "Pro-Cookie" policy. Despite it being one of my favorite days, I'm still a little bummed because the Kings dicked me over. The problem with the current newspaper situation in Los Angeles is that no beat reporter travels with the team, so when something happens we don’t find out about it until right before the game. Hence, the gameday post I wrote for the game against New Jersey was outdated before the puck was dropped. (Now I know how newspaper reporters feel.) What I missed:

Do you need a healthy ankle to shoot 10 feet wide?

Rob Blake is out for two weeks with a broken ankle. I’m not really quite sure what to think of this. Is he sitting out so he’s rested when he gets traded to a contending team, or is he sitting because he's not going to be traded and they want him rested when they trade everyone else? The mind reels, my friends. (Also, how does Blake miss 2 weeks with a broken ankle, yet Sidney Crosby is out 6 with an ankle sprain? This once again proves my theory: Sidney Crosby is a pussy.)

Scott Thornton is out with a mysterious "sore neck." I think Todd Bertuzzi has struck again!

I'never thought I'd see those 3 celebrating a goal.

Brian Boyle and Peter Harrold were both called up. Boyle played well, tallying a goal and an assist. Man, is he a big mother fucker. I’ve always heard that he skates like shit, but I didn’t really think so. He has a long stride, but that doesn’t mean he’s slow. I’m pretty sure his playing means that Hugh Jessiman is the only 1st rounder from the 2003 NHL Draft that has not played in the NHL. Way to go, jackass. Harrold was okay; he played the fewest minutes of any Kings defenseman. I think they were just trying to get his feet wet, so hopefully now they’ll give him a shot on the power play.

So yeah, I don’t know what’s going on. This is a crazy team. (Also, they still haven’t called up Purcell to take Willsie’s spot. You have 3 days, Mr. Lombardi.) The Rangers have been playing well lately, winning 6 of their last 10 games. The New York media is attributing this recent success to the return of Sean Avery. Sigh… let me tell you how this is going to go. You’ll think he’s a little bit of a spark plug and sign him to a reasonable longer-term deal in the off-season. Then he’ll start doing stupid shit and maybe get into a fight with Marek Malik or call Georges Laraque a monkey again. You’ll start losing a little and then suddenly he won’t be that fun anymore. Eventually you’ll get tired of him and ship him off to some other team, where the cycle will repeat again. Good luck with that.


Prediction: I desperately want Dustin Brown to paste Sean Avery. That’s not really a prediction, I guess so here’s one: I will be very happy if Dustin Brown pastes Sean Avery.

Edit: Son of a bitch, I wrote this entire thing and then saw on Inside the Kings that Brown is taking a leave to be with his pregnant wife. Lord knows why he'd want to be there, it's disgusting. Has he seen Children of Men? Anyway, they'll probably call up Purcell now. Hopefully. For the love of God.

Edit #2: You have got to be kidding me. Cammy is coming back. Good lord am I bad at this.

Ducks Gameday—The Littlest Goalie

Anaheim Ducks (27-22-7, t-5th in west) at New York Islanders (24-23-6, 10th in east)

"We're making goalies look like all-stars right now." So says Brian Burke on the Ducks' recent pratfall. Five goals scored in their last six games, zero in their last two. Neglecting the fact that one of those games actually featured an All-Star goalie, I thought I'd show what Burke's talking about--even an undersized goalie like this one can be effective when all the shots go straight at him (thank you, McDonalds Canada):

Prediction: There are still five straight road games before the Ducks return home: NYI, NYR, NJD, DET, and COL. In what city will the Ducks score their next goal? In what city will the Ducks get their next win? In what city will Teemu Selanne make his debut? The way things are going, I suspect all three answers will be the same.

Go Ducks.

Godzilla vs Patrick Marleau

A classic remake.

Sharks-Blackhawks photos

Here are a few photos from the Sharks 3-2 OT shootout win over the Chicago Blackhawks on Saturday. More here.

Ducks Gameday—Sleek gets long-winded

Anaheim Ducks (27-21-7, 5th in west) at Philadelphia Flyers (28-17-5, 3rd in east)

(Note: Rudy and guest contributor Steve Lepore have info on the Kings-Devils below--make sure to check those out!)

Well, another set of back-to-back games for the Ducks, despite still having played more games than anyone. And while the losing streak (0-4-1 since I skipped a GDP against Dallas) and pitiful offense continue (5 goals scored scored in the last 5 games, which is two less than Ovechkin has scored in his last 5), there is a bit of hope: perhaps the Ducks might find some offense in the goal-loving Eastern Conference.

Teemu Selanne spent a bit of 3rd period time in the announcer's booth last night in St. Louis, and somehow managed to speak positively while his team scored absolutely nothing. He indicated he hoped to play sometime next week, but if I'm Carlyle, he's got to get into the lineup ASAP. Last year in 10 regular season games against eastern teams, Teemu scored 8 goals and 4 assists to lead the team (also point-a-game? Niedermayer and Pronger). Heck, even Sammy Pahlsson chipped in 4 goals during those games.

Still, the more the Ducks struggle in the offensive end (and I'm glaring straight at you, Getzlaf-Perry-Bertuzzi, who consistently tried to out-cute the Blues' defense last night), the more I start believing the need for Burke to start pursuing a mortgage-the-future deal at the trade deadline, not even to push this team over the top, but just to push their first-round exit to a semi-respectable six games. While I'll offer nothing but praise for guys like Mats Sundin or Marian Hossa, I tell you: if it costs the Ducks Bobby Ryan and the Oilers pick to get it done, I will be pissed off quite a bit. These two assets represent possibly the highest two draft picks in Anaheim's history, and to sell them for a few weeks of a pending UFA that we can't afford to re-sign, it's almost a sure-fire disaster (see: last year).

Maybe I need to clarify a bit: the Ducks have a lot of money tied up in very few players next year -- Niedermayer, Pronger, Giguere, Getzlaf, Schneider, Perry, and Bertuzzi will all be making a lot of coin. It's going to be paramount for this club to be competitive to get some cheap production, and while the Oil pick won't be ready to jump in right away (I'll assume), Bobby Ryan I think needs to be in next year's blueprint. Now some will tell you not to worry; Niedermayer's retirement is a sure thing next summer and will free up some spending money, but I refuse to believe it. I'm sorry, but here's a guy who contemplated retirement for six months and couldn't pull the trigger; what about that indecision suggests that he'll retire on his contract at the drop of the hat in July?

So I'm really hoping that Burke keeps a level head -- the only way getting a Sundin or Hossa at the deadline makes sense is if the Ducks are already playing like a cup contender, not if they're struggling. And perhaps, the ship will right itself and this will be the case. But I get a bit worried; I trust that Burke is as pissed off as I am about the current results and in a fit of anger may pull a hasty save-face, big-headline, break-the-bank move. Trust me: I understand that selling the future is acceptable to win a cup now, but if a deal like that gets done, anything short of Stanley is a swift kick to the franchise's nuts.

In my ideal finish, the Ducks stand pat at the deadline, just like last year, though I won't mind if Burke plays like he's active and drives up deadline prices. And really, I won't mind terribly if the team starts playing lights-out and then decides to add a superstar to an already-working lineup. What will drive me up the wall, though, is if the team continues to struggle and a deal is made out of desperation (Save us, Sundin!); that has "failure" written all over it, and will sting for years to come.

End rant.

Prediction: By my recollection, the Flyers last season gave the Ducks their third-most-painful loss of the year. First would be the 5-0 loss to Detroit in G3 of the WCF (especially bitter because I was in attendance). Second I think is the 4-3 loss to Columbus in January, where the Ducks led 3-0 with 10:02 left in regulation and failed to even get a standings point. And third, then, was the 7-4 loss to last-place Philly, where the Ducks outshot the Flyers 41-16 and didn't even record a 3rd period save. The Ducks have already exacted revenge for the first two results; time to make up for that third one. Ducks 4, Flyers 1. Goals by Bochenski, Bertuzzi, Marchant, and Parros (if Selanne plays, though, he scores 'em all).

Go Ducks.

Kings Gameday: A Few Questions

LA Kings (Still not good) @ New Jersey Devils (28-20-3, 6th in Eastern Conference)

4:00 PST, FSN West

Where the hell is Ted Purcell?

Okay, so they bring him up for a few games and he plays well, they send him back down and he's the star of the All-Star Game... and then they keep him down so Brian Willise can play?  I hope there's some ulterior motive to this (like a trade), otherwise I'm going to pull a Michael Douglas in Falling Down and make them call up Purcell at gunpoint.  (Maybe get some breakfast too.)

Would you trade Brad Stuart?

I'm pretty sure Blake and Nagy are both gone, but I'm not sure about Brad Stuart.  On the plus side, he plays fairly good defense and, along with Frolov, has given us a 2nd power play unit that can do some damage.  On the minus side, he gives up the puck at the worst possible time; also, he has bleach blonde hair.  (What is this, 1999?)  I'm not sure.  If we could sign him to a longer deal for less money then he's making now, I'd do it.  If he's going to want $3.5 million again next year or even more, then I say we trade him.

Where the hell is Mike Cammalleri?

Okay, so he hurt his ribs in a "fight" (read: slap contest) on December 26th.  I haven't heard shit about him since.  Where the hell is he?  One of my crazy friends thinks Cammy is delaying his return on purpose to get back at the team for winning his arbitration hearing.  My crazy friend ate paint chips as a kid, I think.  Come to think of it...

Where the hell is Ladislav Nagy, too?

He's been on the IR since January 19th with a sore neck.  What the fuck?  This isn't football, asshole, your neck can be sore when it's broken.  Why does he need to turn his neck anyway, so he can watch the other team take his errant pass down to score?  What the hell, people?

This isn't a question, but...

When I was 13, I was playing in a hockey tournament.  The other team had a power play and their point man took a shot that I couldn't see because I was screened.  The guy in front of me jumped out of the way right when the shot was taken and I saw the puck coming right at my head.  I ducked, instinctively, and the puck went in.  My coach was furious and went off on me after the game, telling me my job was to stop the puck and if I wasn't going to do it then he'd find someone who will.  To this day, my dad won't let me forget about it.

I was 13.

Prediction: As noted earlier by our excellent guest columnist, the Devils are missing Jay Pandolfo and have been struggling to score recently.  They do, however, have Martin Brodeur.  Still, I think the Kings win with their newfound defensive play, 3-2.  Goals by Brown, Armstrong, and Stuart.

Guest post: The Devil's Advocate

Our good buddy, Steve Lepore from Kukla's Korner, is a Devils fan with a strong sense of sharing. In anticipation of tomorrow's matchup with Rudy's Kings, he's sent along a preview from the Satanic point-of-view. I've thrown in a cartoon because it's what I do, plus I had some free time between Anaheim goal celebrations (sigh).

Here's Steve:

You know, it's not often a February game against the Kings is a must-win for an Eastern Conference team...or any game against the Kings for any team, for that matter. But the Devils, who have lost three straight at home, are coming off a loss to the Rangers tonight where it seemed they were the better club for most of the tilt, and probably need a victory over the 30th out of 30 Kings to keep this current stretch from going from bad to ridiculously bad.

The Devils are without star checker Jay Pandolfo, so the Devils may have trouble stopping the young Los Angeles attack. I will admit, I'm eager to see what Kopitar and Ko. can do against this someone patchwork New Jersey defense. Of course, Marty Brodeur is still there, and in case you Los Angelinos haven't seen him in a while...he's still kinda good. Marty loves to take on great offensive players he doesn't get to see often, so he'll be up for the challenge from Kopitar, Frolov, Brown, etc.

Offensively (Yes, the Devils have an offense), New Jersey is led by the awesome Zach Parise, with 19 goals. Patrik Elias floats in and out of consciousness (a la Jagr) with his 7 Year, $42 Million contract. Jamie Langenbrunner, Travis Zajac, Dainius Zubrus, Brian Gionta, and John Madden all chip in when they want to. The Devils are a maddening offensive team, but they seem to come up big on the scoreboard after getting beaten pretty bad. And believe me, any night you lose to the Rangers is getting beaten more than "pretty bad".

I'm looking forward to it. There's a shot tomorrow's game sells out, which every Western Conference fan will use as proof that even Devils fans want to see more teams from the west. Perhaps it could be that it's only the Devils 3rd Saturday home game of the season? For example:

- Devils vs. Phoenix, Saturday, December 15th, 1:00 PM, attendance: 16,636
- Devils vs. Dallas, Wednesday, November 28th, 7:00 PM, attendance: 13,665

So there. Anyway, should be fun. Enjoy!

Ducks Gameday—Attention: Deficit Disorder!

Anaheim Ducks (27-21-6, t-5th in west) at St. Louis Blues (23-19-7, 12th in west)

Boy, I can't wait for this Anaheim team to get good, or at least stop sabotaging their results with awful starts. It's been two weeks since the Ducks picked up any standings points, having lost four straight by a combined score of 15-5. I noted it in the last GDP comments, but here's how they've started those four games:

• @DAL: Dallas scores the first 3 goals, wins 5-2.
• DET: Detroit scores the first 2 goals, wins 2-1.
• @LAK: Los Angeles scores the first 3 goals, wins 3-1.
• @MIN: Minnesota scores the first 3 goals, wins 5-1.

It's really not the return I like to see for a team that plays a $5M+ defenseman nearly every minute of every game in front of a $6M goaltender. I'm not even that troubled that the Ducks don't score first (although this is getting reminiscent of earlier this year when the Ducks gave up the first goal in nine consecutive games), but it's really how the team has been playing afterwards that's killing me. Trying so hard to tie up the score that they give up another, and another, and the game's pretty much over well before the clock expires (except for some goonery, which becomes twice as stupid).

I guess if there's a bright spot, these awful starts might be the impetus that Teemu Selanne and Sammy Pahlsson need to accelerate their comebacks, and both are missed. I have no idea when either is going to hit the ice, but it might be a strange game if Selanne plays. He's liable to pass the puck to Paul Kariya or Andy McDonald just out of habit.

Even so, there's only so much each player can bring; there's got to be improvement by other guys on the ice, that's for damn sure.

Prediction: This is the first game between the Ducks and Blues since the McDonald/Weight trade. Andy Mac has improved to point-a-game since joining St. Louis. Weight? Not so much. But hey, it's a new month, let's try some optimism. Ducks 5, Blues 2. Goals by Pronger, Kunitz, Perry, one of Pahlsson/Selanne, and Parros.

Go Ducks (before it's 3-0 this time!).