Takes and trash talk from both ALL sides of the NHL's most obscure PATHETIC* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!

Monday, August 07, 2006

A brief look at the Pacific East

mike w (of Covered In Oil fame), says:

I’m more interested in your artistic side: clearly you’ve picked up doodling along the way.
One somewhat interesting fact about my online drawings or doctored photos is that I’ve never used (or even tried to use) PhotoShop. Really, I have two tools for doodling, MS Paint and MS PowerPoint. Paint allows me to draw or alter parts of pictures, and PowerPoint enables me to ‘layer’ images and add text. The only explanation I can offer for never trying PhotoShop is that my doodling has never been used in any professional sense.

But aren’t the results so damn cute?

And just to keep it hockey-related, let’s take a quick look at the offseasons of the Phoenix Dogs and the Dallas South Stars. (For a fuller sense of team rosters and salaries, go to CantaloupeHalves’ great 30-team site.)

Phoenix Coyotes:

Key Additions:
Forwards—J. Roenick, G. Laraque
Defense—E. Jovanovski, N. Boynton

Key Departures:
Forwards—M. Johnson, G. Sanderson, O. Kvasha, B. Devereaux
Defense—P. Mara

Sleek’s Compliment: There is a lot of character and variety among the Dogs’ forwards, with guys like Ricci, Roenick, and Laraque to complement guys like Comrie, Nagy, Doan, and Reinprecht. Throw in some good extra parts like Saprykin, Scatchard, and Nash, and this could be a very nice mix.

Sleek’s Criticisms: I still don’t get a good feel of how Gretzky can coach, despite him being one year in. He certainly didn’t impress against the Ducks. How costy can a CuJo-Sauve tandem be in net? Are Jovo or Laraque worth the money/years?

Dallas Stars

Key Additions:
Forwards—E. Lindros, J. Halpern, M. Barnaby, P. Stefan
Defense—J. Modry, D. Sydor

Key Departures:
Forwards—J. Arnott, B. Guerin, N. Kapanen
Defense—W. Mitchell
Goal—J. Hedberg

Sleek’s Compliment: Mirtle points out how the Stars have 8 NHL-steady defensemen under contract, and their forward mix has a lot of promise also. Three number one picks (Modano, Lindros, and Stefan), a lot of Finns, and some utility guys (Halpern, Morrow, Barnes, and Barnaby). Really, all their bases are covered.

Sleek’s Criticisms: How did this team lose to Colorado, and does that mean anything? Is Big E going to make a difference, and in how many games? Although there are a lot of man-games on the blueline, the depth appears deceiving past Zubov and Boucher.

I dunno, what’s your take on these two teams? Give me a compliment and a criticism about either team in the comments, and if you're bold, a prediction.


Delicious said...

I wish you would do a cute li'l picture like that for all the divisions. The Northeast, in particular, might prove challenging.

Anonymous said...

I think to do the NW, you'd have to get a couple of comic-book characters involved there, like the Human Torch and that oil-covered guy whose name eludes me. A whale, a snowman, and a wolf would round things out.

Me, I think Phoenix is throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks. While it's great that they've bought the nuclear deterrent to cover Comrie and Nagy, I just don't think Big Georges is worth that much money. On the other hand, I do think their D will be better, which...you know, for that much cash, it'd have to be.

As for Dallas, I think the reason why they lost to Colorado begins and ends with Marty Turco. The man's one more playoff meltdown away from being Manny Legace (and Kings fans, don't think you're any better off with Dan Cloutier -- same shit, different pile). I hope for the Stars' sake that they've got someone else in that pipeline, because they may need to start leaning on him in a hurry if Turco doesn't get his head out of his ass, postseasonally speaking. On the other hand, Eric Lindros could potentially be a boon -- yeah, his skull is made of caramel (was that Tyler's comment?), and his wrists are built of the same stuff as Hasek's groin, but if he can play more than 50 or 60 games, as a top-two centre, he could still make a difference. I thought he was the best Maple Leaf in the 2005 part of the schedule, when Sundin was out with his eye injury.

Anonymous said...

D'oh! The Avs would be Bigfoot/Sasquatch! Of course!

Alana said...

I love your drawings, Earl. Please make an Oilers-related one that I can put on my desktop. Pretty please?

Hodge said...

With the new NHL, it's going to be hard for any team to have +500 record unless someone figures out how to win on the road.

Sean Zandberg said...

Laracque never complimented anybody! He is overpaid like doogie2k said.

I like how Dallas brought back Sydor. He fit in so well when he was there before, and should put up better numbers again.

Hodge said...

Laracque would have got Carter like numbers if he played with the Sedin's last year.

Earl Sleek said...

Ain't it ironic? Now Carter is sitting at home hoping somebody will pay him Laraque-like numbers.

The Northeast, in particular, might prove challenging.

I'll give another division a try tonight, although I think I'd have a tougher time with the Atlantic. There's a lot of possibilities (yet none are very good) for the Rangers, Islanders, and Flyers. I'm tempted to draw raingear for the Rangers, that's how thin it feels.

Anonymous said...

Texas Rangers (I think that's what they were named for, anyway). Drop in everyone's favourite Internet cult figurine, Chuck Norris!