The Legend of Crankshaft continues to grow, Canada discovers the UberTap and Sharks defenseman Douglas Murray

Some say he is half man, half machine, half reciprocating linear piston, but 6-foot-3 240 pound Cornell alumni Douglas "Crankshaft" Murray also showed his entrepreneurial zeal investing in the UberTap Dispensing Company. The revolutionary three spout keg dispensing system offers a hands free filling experience, a "superior pumping method", and a consistent flow of beer. Something that should warm the heart of Canadians and Americans alike, and also those in Murray's hometown of Stockholm, Sweden.

Randy Sportak of the Calgary Sun investigates furthur: Sharks blueliner finds Swede way to tap into kegs.

Murray may be known for patrolling the blueline for the Sharks as they face the Flames in their opening-round playoff series, but sports fans of all ilk must appreciate what he and friends came up with in between their scholastic and sporting endeavours in their college days.

UberTap is a system that uses a foot pump to extract the liquid gold, and three spouts to fill the glasses. Imagine that. Three glasses being filled simultaneously. To borrow phrase sudsy connoisseurs know -- brilliant.

"It took too long to get beer in college. It's about five times as fast to fill up," Murray said. "Since I've been in the NHL, I haven't been involved as much, my partner is running it. When I was in the minors, there was more time."

Brilliant indeed. In his spare time, he likes to shut down 2-time Rocket Richard winning captain Jarome Iginla, tackle the subprime morgage loan financial crisis, and fight bears.

[Update] Douglas Murray Making Up For Lost Time - Sharks.nhl.com.

[Update2] A Salute to an Unsung Hero: Doug Murray (from Sweden) - Rudy K for Battle of California.

[Update3] Blueliner a hero to Sharks, fratboys, Murray learned solid defence, but invented keg pump - Calgary Herald.

"It's more being aggressive and assertive at the right time," says Murray, who unloaded a team-high 127 checks, many of the heavy variety. "I've always been an aggressive player. Physical. A big thing is not putting myself out of the play doing the physical part of the game. More picking my spots and letting the hits come to me. Guys are smart in this league -- they know you're coming. The good players use that as an advantage."

A classic late bloomer -- drafted 241st overall in 1999, out of something called the Eastern Junior Hockey League while toiling for a club named the New York Apple Core (really) -- Murray needed two full slates with Cleveland of the American Hockey League to get his pro bearings
"He's been excellent, right from start to finish," say Craig Rivet. "He started off this season by winning a job. He's really moved himself up the depth chart. You can see that he's logging some big minutes. He's extremely difficult to play against. He's as physical as any defenceman in the league."...

Might Murray also be the most improved player in the NHL? "Hands down, he would be on our team," says Rivet. "Throughout the league, I'm not quite sure because I don't pay attention to a lot of other people's players. But we've been blessed that this guy has grown and made this team that much stronger."

Ducks Gameday—A shirt for all occasions

Round One, Game Two: (5) Dallas Stars at (4) Anaheim Ducks
(DAL leads series 1-0, JavaGeek 'odds': DAL 70%)

Well, looks like my green shirt is pulling double duty today. My dad and I will be in Row B tonight next to the (hopefully unoccupied) Ducks penalty box, rallying the web-footed ones back into this series.

First, though, we'll be at a bar rooting on the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, a surprising participant in its first ever NCAA mens hockey finals. Now I never attended Notre Dame University (I'm a Blue Devil who couldn't handle hard winters), but the Fighting Irish runs pretty deep in my family. My dad and two of my siblings are alumni, and my baby brother will be graduating from ND in about a month. It would be a bit ironic; possibly the worst football season in ND's history (so I'm told) could be accompanied by its best hockey season ever.

So it should make for a pretty good Saturday double header, and damn if I don't seem to have the one t-shirt that seems perfectly designed for both these games. Now I should note that I haven't seen an Irish hockey game all season (hey, I live in SoCal and don't have a lot of hockey viewing options), and purposely didn't watch the DVR version of G1 in this Ducks series, so I'm not going to offer any particular advice. Blah, blah, blah, win the thing.

Go Irish! Go Ducks!
Anyways, if you're in the arena you can try to find me during the intermission, or you can try to spot me on TV. I'll be the idiot who realizes upon arriving that he's the only green shirt in the arena that's not rooting for the Dallas Stars. Let's hope it works.

Prediction: Irish 3, Eagles 1, and Ducks 3, Stars 1. Goals by Bertuzzi, Pahlsson, Beauchemin, and three Irishmen I've never heard of. If anyone knows who to watch for in the Irish game, let me know in the comments.

Go Ducks.

Game 2 post-game photos

A few locker room photos after the Sharks 2-0 win over the Calgary Flames to even up the WCQF series. The media coverage in San Jose has increased ten-fold with the influx of Canadian Press, and the number of local television stations sending camera crews to the tank. They came in two waves, with the local media and television crew getting their questions and footage first, followed by the Canadian press after their time in the Calgary locker room.

Evgeni Nabokov mentioned that the Sharks needed a big win because they could not head to Calgary down 2-0, it would put a serious hurdle in front of them against a very good team. In the post-game press conference, long time SJ Mercury News opinion columnist Mark Purdy asked San Jose Sharks head coach Ron Wilson if he ever has to say anything to Nabokov before a game. Wilson said no, Nabokov is the expert on goaltending. With a few minor exceptions, he self motivates and battles hard from start to finish (as seen in the skills competion and 2nd shutout period of the ASG).

Joe Thornton noted the Sharks intensity from the drop of the puck, something that did not happen in game 1. The Sharks still looked tentative with the puck at times, even with 7 second period penalties by Calgary, but overall they moved the puck well out of their own zone. The addition of Matt Carle in place of Alexei Semenov, and a hard charging Brian Campbell initiated the offense and contributed to the Sharks dominating time of possession with the puck. After the game when asked about a physical checking series, Ron Wilson said you can not hit someone when you have the puck. The more you have puck possession, the less hits a team will register.

Joe Pavelski's line, with Patrick Marleau and Ryane Clowe, did the bulk of the damage for San Jose. Pavelski opened the scoring with a critical second period goal, the Sharks were 38-13 in the regular season when scoring first. Pavelski also mentioned that he wanted to take full advantage of postseason opportunities given to him after he was a scratch for several playoff games last year.

Game 1 video, Calgary vs San Jose

Here is a short video from game one, with most of the pre-game atmosphere that was blacked out for many on Comcast Sportsnet Bay Area and Dish Network, not to mention the first three goals of the game by Yelle, Phaneuf and Clowe. Will post a few notes from game 2 later tonight.

The Shark head drop to Carmina Burana "O Fortuna" is pretty incredible, but it actually worked better in past years when they used a wavy teal light on the ice to mimmick ocean water and kept the lighting in the arena dim. At age 5, on a tour of Universal Studios I almost jumped off the back of the tram on the Jaws set when the fake shark pops out of the water. Seeing a jerky mechanical jaws come out of the water now, it is hard to think it ever looked real. A couple years later I was in Half Moon Bay a few days after a windsurfing board was attacked by a great white. They had it on display, and from the size of the bite it looked like it would have taken about a third of the windsurfer with him. That was the first and last thought I had whenever I stepped into the water to go surfing or bodyboarding.

Bottom line: 17 years later and just outside of the great white "red triangle" feeding grounds, the Sharks still have one of the best franchise identities in sports. It may take a little more tweaking in the coming years, a little less orange, but eventually they will hit on a logo and crest that will stand the test of time. I have never been a huge fan of teal, pacific teal is slightly better, but they have made it work and built a huge following behind it. Next year when teams have an option for a third jersey, San Jose needs to opt for a dark navy jersey with a simple "SHARKS" on the front. Lean, mean, and ready to rupture Anaheim's spleen.

Not Pretty....But Effective

Not much to say about last night's game except Nabby saved our asses. Where is our vaunted D that was in the top 5 in GAA throughout the year? It seems Calgary has guys in the slot uncovered all the time. If not for Nabby's save on Sarich early this could of been a different game. I think the D is hibernating like our PP. How can you get 10 PP chances and convert only once...and that was with :09 left. We had an extended 5 on 3 and I swear we would of not scored if it was 5 on 1 cause they would of just passed it around and then Kipper would of made a save. If not for the Mitchell goal at the end of the PP, I kinda felt the energy being let out of the arena. All those penalties by Calgary (deserved or not) only leads to Keenan pulling out his mind games again and questioning the officials. I can only assume what they are saying in Calgary right now. "The Sharks didn't beat us, the Refs did."

Sombody needs to wake up Cheech and Milan and tell them the playoffs have begun. They just don't look like themselves out there and invisible. Being at the game you can see Calgary taking late shots after the whistle to Cheech's head since they know he is probably still suffering from the Kunitz injury. No word on Ehrhoff's injury but hopefully he can make it back soon.

I feel good, not great

Everyone breath a sigh of relief? I had a few people call me overconfident when I made my "good/bad/don't panic" post, but I was looking at the bigger picture here -- and really, if the Sharks couldn't rebound with a strong effort in Game 2, then they had way bigger problems than losing a single game in the first round.

Still, while the series is far from over, there seemed to be little of what was so wrong in Game 1. There were moments of pure scrambling, but the penalty kill looked confident and Evgeni Nabokov was simply {insert hyperbole here}. While the Sharks weren't great in the opening minutes, they were head and shoulders above the mindless pylons that appeared in the beginning of Game 1, and when Nabby needed to be big during those opening moments, he was. The fact that Nabby stole a sure goal from Owen Nolan, well, maybe karma is finally, finally tipping in the Sharks favor.And then the Sharks went back to their game, which was using their speed to create problems for the opposition.

While Nabby was my #1 start of the game, #2 had to be Patrick Marleau. With the Flames sending Robyn Reghyr and Cory Sarich out to shut down Joe Thornton, I don't think their second unit prepared for Marleau's speed. Not only was it a key factor in the Joe Pavelski goal, there was that one sequence in the third period when Marleau flew down the ice on the forecheck, chasing the Flames' defenseman all the way behind Miikka Kiprusoff until the dude just ran out of space on the half boards. I hope for all you Marleau haters, these past two games showed that the captain really is back.

As for Joe Thornton, well, it looks like Calgary's got his number. And by got his number, I mean they've realized that the only way to take out Joe is to crowd him and remove all his passing lanes. He seems to be reverting back to the "stay on the boards and look for a pass" technique that plagued him earlier in the season. The best way to get out of this is if he starts shooting himself. If he can start generating scoring chances by shooting, it'll cause the Calgary D to back off and worry about rebound control, which will in turn open up Joe's passing lanes.

And a big shout out to the shut-down line of Mike Grier, Torrey Mitchell, and Patrick Rissmiller. I thought they looked a little lost in the first game, but they were tenacious and fast in this one. More importantly, the group played much smarter than the last game, and that can only bode well from here on it.

The defense still has issues, and Kyle McLaren's arthritic knee isn't looking good at all out there. Matt Carle, though, played with way more poise and gumption than I think any of us expected; hell, if he had played like that all season long, he wouldn't have spent so many nights delivering pizza to Doug Wilson in the owner's suite. Maybe he's got a chip on his shoulder or maybe he's learned what his mistakes are; whatever it is, for one night he showed more of what we've been looking for all season long. There's no word on whether Christian Ehrhoff will return for Sunday night, but if he can take McLaren's spot and Carle plays like he did tonight, things will be much better on the blueline.

There are still things to fix, of course. The power play is guilty of overpassing and the team still needs to do a better job of screening Kipper. By and large, though, this game had to be about effort and smarts -- the things we've worried about all season -- and for one night, the Sharks showed us some of what they're capable of.

We know the Sharks are strong on the road. We can see the signs of this team coming together from all the different aspects on the ice, and that's going to be a gradual build for any team playing playoff hockey. For now, though, at least they're heading in the right direction.

So, did I miss anything?

I haven't seen a lick of G1, and aside from what I'm bound to see in highlight reels, I don't really intend to watch it. I got the gist of it off my cell phone, and as it's a "write it off" game, I'll be much more effective with untainted eyes. Still, it had to have been hard for Ducks fans who did watch, or even attended the game. Sorry, folks. Lucky green shirt wasn't available, but it will be there for game two (which personally I'm calling "game one").

Still, Duck fans, chill out. It's like none of you have ever seen Mighty Ducks Part 2 before.

First off, there's no team more Icelandish in the NHL than the Dallas Stars and their collection of Finns + Norstrom; of this there can be no doubt. Meanwhile you have the Ducks, fresh off their triumphant championship at the end of the first film, who start the sequel way too overconfident and get sloppy. Iceland demolishes them in the preliminary game, crashing them back down to earth, and they have to dig deep to re-establish the identity that made them great. I don't want to spoil the end of the movie (or the series) for you, but if you've got any old-school Mighty Duck jerseys, you might want to bring them in case the team switches uniforms for the 3rd period.

Historically speaking, G2 will be the breaking point. The Ducks have never lost a series when they have taken at least one of the first two games; they have never won a series when they started 0-2. That's flimsy, of course, but what else is there to do but take a deep breath, say a little prayer to the lucky green shirt, and hope for an improved effort in G2.

Or as I'm calling it, "G1". Go Ducks.

This is Sad

It's ridiculous how much holding Nashville is getting away with in their attempt to physically dominate the Red Wings. The best part? Datsyuk is still dominating. Maybe you should try having actual tough guys on your team, Nashville.

Sharks Gameday: Kyle Mclaren Sucks Edition

SJ Sharks vs. Calgary Flames

Calgary Leads, 1-0

7:00 PST

First things first: I don't give a fuck about the Sharks. Their team is stupid, their fans are stupid, and I hate that stupid shark they bring down before the game. That being said, I'm bored because my team sucks and I hate it when coaches suddenly get retarded during the playoffs. Plus, it's no fun listening to your roommate wander around the apartment muttering, "God damn you Ron Wilson," like some kind of mental patient.

Maybe I'm just thinking about this wrong, but isn't it kind of insane to play both Kyle McLaren and Alexei Semenov (hehe) during game 1? The Sharks are a big team that can't get pushed around, but they're effective because they don't necessarily play physical (with a few exceptions) and they don't take penalties. McLaren took two bad penalties last night that killed the Sharks, so get him the fuck out of there. He got 2 penalties and he only played about 13 minutes! That is ridiculous.

Here's my (uninformed) opinion about what Ron Wilson should do:


-Marc-Edward Vlasic and Craig Rivet play against Jarome Iginla's line
-Brian Campbell plays half the game, usually with Doug Murray (he's from Sweden)
-Matt Carle spells Murray and Rivet when they're tired
-Dress Semenov but don't play him more than 8 minutes

Really folks, this isn't that hard. The Sharks have the last change! Use it! Fuck!

Also, don't try to play physical with Calgary. You're better than them, just skate through them! Don't buy into this playoff bullshit and play your game. Did you see how good you played in the 3rd? Try to play like that. The only player the Sharks should try to rough up is Dion Phaneuf, like they did to Chris Pronger once upon a time. He's a stupid oaf and I guarantee you he will take a stupid penalty. (By the way, why aren't you booing him every time he touches the puck? C'mon, get with it!)

But hey, what the fuck do I know, I'm just a Kings fan. I'm sure you Sharks people know what you're doing, as evidenced by your many years of deep playoff play. All I know is that I hate the Calgary Flames and you're making them look good. Stop it.

Prediction: Ron Wilson takes my advice; Sharks lose 10-0. Meg rips out my small intestine.

Ducks Gameday—Stars Logo: Separated at Birth?

Round One, Game One: (5) Dallas Stars at (4) Anaheim Ducks
(JavaGeek 'odds': DAL 53%)

Ah, good ol' Game 83, time to break out some playoff traditions. Last year I started a gimmick each series where I played "Separated at Birth?" comparisons with opponent team logos. It wasn't by any means a very serious exercise, but it worked out well enough to give it another go this year.

Here is last year's set: the Minnesota Wild, the Vancouver Canucks, the Detroit Red Wings, and the Ottawa Senators. So take a glance below; which image is most "Separated at Birth" from the Stars logo? Vote for your favorite in the comments, or feel free to suggest your own.

Image results from my 'Star' search... (sigh).

Last night was an interesting Day One of the playoffs. In 3 of the 4 games played, a team quickly lost home ice advantage, which is a bit frightening. I made a late-night PuckToon about it over at Fanhouse (a feature I plan on resuming now that I'm attached to a scanner again; also on a side note, starting next week I'm writing their Ice Sheet each Wednesday).

To tell the truth, I'm not that stressed about game one, but that's because I'll be tracking tonight's game on my cell phone. I'm caught in a prior engagement and can't watch the game live, but it's not the worst thing; generally it's less stressful to scoreboard-watch than it is to yell at the TV for three hours. By the time I do watch the game late-night on my DVR, I'll already know the outcome, so feel free to comment on any game observations—you won't be spoiling anything. [EDIT: Spade's got some good Turco strategies on his new blog, complete with diagrams!]

I do have tickets for game 2, though. More on that later.

One player to watch for tonight will be J.S. Giguere, just to see whether he actually plays. Two years now I've been fooled into thinking Giguere would start the playoffs, only to be surprised by Bryzgalov at gametime; would they dare trick me a third year in a row?

Prediction: Ducks 3, Stars 2. Goals by Selanne, Pahlsson, and Schneider. And so it begins.

Go Ducks.

SJ/CAL: Game One Plus/Minus

The crowd around me at HP Pavilion was on suicide watch (especially the guy who knew every Sharks player but had no clue who either Dion Phaneuf or Jarome Iginla were; he also had a nice penchant for air guitar and air drums during play breaks and didn't seem to understand that you should CLEAR the puck during the PK. Dude, if you know who freakin' Craig Rivet is but you don't know the way penalty kills work, you've got some major issues) but I'm trying to keep a level head about things. This is the first real bad game that we've seen Brian Campbell have and it was like having a time warp with the good and awful Sharks teams taking turns controlling the bodies in teal.

The good:
-In terms of physical play, other than the first five minutes, the Sharks responded well.
-Evgeni Nabokov looked sharp.
-Patrick Marleau looked solid from start to finish.
-Ryane Clowe was where he should be -- in front of the net.
-The Sharks did manage to carry the play for a significant portion of the game, and if a few things bounced differently, it could have been a 4-3 Sharks win. It really did come down to the fact that the Sharks were absolute listless boneheads for the first five minutes; if you could have erased that, I would have been ok with how they generally played.
-While Miikka Kiprusoff made some outstanding saves, he seemed to be caught out of position quite a few times, which is kinda out of character for someone that's as positionally sound as he is.

The bad:
-Joe Thornton was pretty invisible for most of the night. Milan Michalek too.
-Brian Campbell. Soupy, you're allowed one awful game per postseason.
-Kyle McLaren. I think everyone's recognized that McLaren's been a step slow for more than a season now, but he was directly at fault for a number of Calgary scoring chances.
-Alexei Semenov. Sorry Alexei, but you're just not very good.
-Over-passing. When the Sharks get flustered, they try to be like the 1991 Pittsburgh Penguins with these stupid too-cute passes that always result in a turnover since they're not actually the 1991 Pittsburgh Penguins.

Also, I don't know if Mike Keenan got in the head of the refs, but the officiating was extremely loose on both sides. Sticks, slashes, crosschecks; I'm not sure why they made the calls they did for both teams and missed the 80 zillion other ones. Quick aside: I always thought it's really funny that "letting them play" means "letting them get away with cheating." Shouldn't "letting them play" mean "call the rules so they can play the way they're supposed to"?

The thing is, I'm sure we're going to get some blurbs about officiating tomorrow morning in the press. NHL playoff refs are usually overreactive before they reach some balanced level, so I have a feeling they'll be trying to call everything in sight tomorrow night, then it levels off into something that's a little more normal.

Well, we knew that the biggest thing the Sharks had to overcome was their own mental toughness. What better way to deal with adversity than to face it coming out of the gate? If the Sharks win tomorrow night, then this really might have been a nice wakeup call for guys who may have started to believe their own press.

Also, to the idiot Sharks fan sitting behind me heckling the Flames fan in a Rhett Warrener jersey by yelling "War-ren-ner? Who the hell is that? Is that your mom, buddy?" -- seriously, dude, Warrener's been in the league a long, long time and he's a solid veteran. You're the moron, and I give props to the Flames fan for biting his tongue the entire game.

Scattered playoff thoughts: Gary Roberts, brisket and the evil that is Mike Keenan

It's been a while since I've thrown some Stars perspective in here. I'd like to call my absence "GaryRobertsian"* but I imagine some would just say that I've had a "Brad Richards after the 5 assist game" type drought.

Well, no matter, because I have a few thoughts today and I'll have more this weekend. The reason for that is that I'll finally join the modern era and acquire an unnecessarily spectacular Internet connection.

(Which reminds me of NHL 'o8. Sleek...e-mail your X-Box Live tag and we can have the Digital Battle of California. Any other BoCers/readers are welcome to cower at the feet of my near-embarrassing polygonal domination)

ANYWAY, I wanted to throw a few things out there:

1. Due to my Battle of Pacifician (I really need to stop lazily throwing "-ian" onto words) work hours, I'm going to cover the Stars in a TiVo-friendly way for most of the playoffs. This means that my opinions will be slightly outdated but no less snarky. Think of my opinions as brisket, marinating and tenderizing in my sleep neglected mind.

(I've officially compared myself to Gary Roberts and brisket. Self aggrandizement > self deprecation).

2. I'm really torn on who I think will win the Stars-Ducks series. So, in the spirit of being at a snail mail pace on the rapid fire Internet, I think I'll resolve this issue by posting a hindsight-strengthened "series preview" after game 1.

It's going to be difficult to top last year's Canucks-Stars preview, especially since the Ducks lack Swedish Ginger Twins. I guess there's always Todd Bertuzzi and knucklepuck jokes. Sigh.

3. The only playoff game I saw significant chunks of tonight was Sharks - Flames, which happens to be the only playoff series that ended up coming true in my favorite hypothetical playoff matches post.

Here's a few observations from the Flames - Sharks viewings and the young '08 playoffs:

• I've had this weird feeling that the Sharks could be The Team of Destiny this year, but Fate unfortunately pulled the "I have a headache/I'm washing my hair" excuse tonight.

• Calgary might be the toughest underdog in the playoffs this year (I don't really think 5 seeds are true underdogs, mind you). Kipper has a chance to silence all the fat jokes with a monster playoff run, which is bad news for previous lard ass punchline machine Keith Tkachuk.
  

(Kind of like the South Park episode when Cartman goes to fat camp and another character is the designated fat kid. By the way, is the Cartman - Tkachuk comparison insulting to Cartman or Tkachuk? I'll let you decide that one)

• Jarome Iginla vs. Joe Thornton might be the West's best answer to a Crosby vs. Ovechkin showdown.

• I think I have to root (softly) for the Sharks just because Mike Keenan is pure evil. And I'm not saying that just because he reduced The Ambassador of Fun to tears.

If you're not pumped for this time of year, I'd recommend that you take up knitting, huffing or huffing while knitting.

*Wow...disturbing side note. Be careful when you Google Image Search Gary Roberts. I hope Pensblog means Gary Roberts - NHL player when they ask WWGRD? because the other Gary Roberts apparently would respond to most questions by saying "I would draw naked Japanime characters to disturb unsuspecting hockey fans." Yikes. At least it's not naked cartoon men, right?

Any Sharks fans in Calgary?

Quick note: This is post #1000. Congrats, BoCers!

Any Sharks fans living in Calgary? I've just been contacted by Calgary Herald reporter Joel Kom; he wants to do a story on watching the game with a Sharks fan in enemy territory. If you fit that bill, you can contact him directly at jkom@theherald.canwest.com.

Big News!

Dustin Brown and Patrick O'Sullivan made Team USA!

Other Kings who will likely play in the World Championships include Anze Kopitar and Alex Frolov. Mike Cammalleri has a pretty good track record in international play, so Canada may pick him up despite his sub-standard play this season. Hopefully Handzus and Lubo sit this one out, since they seem like they could use the rest.



Now, what the hell are the "play-offs" everyone keeps talking about?

I have one message for the Sharks...

...and that is this: Let's do it for JR, boys.

Are monkeys getting smarter?

Well, my Ducks-Stars series preview is up at Fanhouse, and there's a good one from the Stars' angle at Knee Jerk Hockey; feel free to respond to either in the comments. In the meantime, I did want to point out that Maggie the Monkey has picked both the Sharks and the Ducks to advance past the first round.

Why's that significant? Maggie had an opportunity to pick a BoC team six times last spring, but all six series she instead picked the opposition. Damn monkey bias. Anyway, as I pointed out during those playoffs, Maggie was 1-5 in her CA-series picks, and 7-2 in series not involving the Ducks or Sharks.

So either (a) the Ducks and Sharks are screwed; there's nothing like the wet deathkiss of a monkey pick in a BoC series, or (b) this damn monkey is transforming into some sort of super-evolved smart chimp, capable of learning from previous errors, and should probably be locked up before its super-logic kicks in and it decides to eradicate humanity.

Man, I really hope it's (b). Go Ducks.

Kings Off-Season Preview

Here are the people with set roles next season:

Brown-Kopitar-[ ]
Frolov-[ ]-[ ]
[ ]-Handzus-[ ]
Ivanans-[ ]-[ ]

Johnson-Blake
Visnovsky-[ ]
Preissing-Harrold

Labarbera
[ ]

Yikes. One of the good (or bad) things about Marc Crawford is that players on the team get very diverse. Brown was a right wing but I'm pretty sure he's been on Kopitar's left side for most of the season, O'Sullivan played all 3 offensive positions and 3 different offensive roles (scorer, playmaker and shutdown wing). This is good because it makes the team flexible, but it's annoying because it means I have no idea what the team will look like next season. I'm not going to try to project what Lombardi is going to do next season, because he's a tricky bastard. Instead, I'm just going to say what I'd like to see for next year. And away we go...

Disclaimer: I'm assuming 3 things. 1, that the Kings won't make very many free agent signings, because Dean Lombardi said he didn't like that. 2, about 4 or 5 guys from the minor league ranks will make the team because he said that in this weekend's LA Times. And 3, I'm not assuming trades (so you'll have to deal with Cammalleri on the team for a little while longer).

The Kings were not good this year. Everyone knows that. Our biggest problem was that we allowed too many shots and didn't score enough. (Other than that, we were fine.) I would like the Kings to shore things up on defense (which I actually don't think will be very hard) and

The Kings are actually pretty set on defense; there's really only 2 spots up for grabs. The first is on a line with Lubo. Ideally that player would be bigger (to cover the front of the net) and be solid enough defensively to allow Lubo to do his thing. I'd like that player to be Mike Commodore. He's 27, could probably be had for around $3-4 million a year, and I don't think Ottawa has been too happy with his play so I think he'd be available. If we couldn't get him, I'd be happy with Jason Smith (assuming we could sign him for just 2 years). I don't really want anyone else and would rather go with someone from Manchester or even Thomas Hickey.

On offense, I'd like to build the team from the 3rd line out. Our biggest problem this season was the fact that other teams could basically set up at will in our own zone and we had no line that could do anything about it. To fix this, I'd like to assemble this line:

Cliche-Handzus-O'Sullivan

Handzus should be better next year with an off-season to rebuild his knee and O'Sullivan could provide offense and defense from the right side. Marc-Andre Cliche is the wild card, but he's been playing outstanding lately since coming back from an injury down in Manchester and I think he could really help this team next year. If for some reason he's not ready, then I guess either Matt Moulson or Matt Ellis could take his place.

With O'Sullivan on the third line, Cammalleri would take his place with Brown and Kopitar. I like that line; it's one you would build in NHL '08 because it gives you a power forward, playmaket and sniper all on the same line. Cammalleri will be playing for a contract next year and since he was injured twice this year (remember, he pulled his groin but didn't sit any games in December), I think he'll be much better.

The 2nd line is the tricky one. O'Sullivan would have to be replaced, either as a center or a wing. The person I'd like to replace him with? Pavol Demitra. I know, he's injury-prone, but I think we could replace him because of our depth next year. Plus, he's good friends with Lubo, he gels extremely well with Frolov, and he can play either right wing or center. If he's a wing, you could probably slot Brian Boyle in the center and not worry about him being out of place. If Demitra plays center, you can put Purcell on that line and tell him to shoot.

The 4th line will have Ivanans on it, but hopefully he won't play every game. I like the guy a lot and he's not a bad player, but he takes too many hooking penalties for my taste. Of course, when he's not in the line-up that means Zeiler probably will be, so God help us. If Boyle plays on the second line, then I'd probably settle for Armstrong as a 4th line center, a role he's perfect for. Either Matt Ellis or Zeiler could be on his right wing. If Purcell takes that 2nd line job, then I'd like to see a line like Ivanans-Boyle-Armstrong. That's an outstanding 4th line, if I do say so myself.

Goaltending-wise, the Kings are in good shape. Labarbera is probably not a clear-cut #1 goaltender, but he proved enough this season to start there next year. Ersberg also proved he deserves consideration, so I imagine he'll push his way into around 20-25 games next year. Jonathan Bernier is the wild card; hopefully the Kings can break him in like the Canadians did with Carey Price this season.

To recap, in case you just skimmed all that other shit:

Brown-Kopitar-Cammalleri
Frolov-Demitra-Purcell
Cliche-Handzus-O'Sullivan
Ivanans-Boyle-Armstrong

Johnson-Blake
Visnovsky-Commodore
Preissing-Harrold (or other defenseman from Manchester

Zeiler, Dallman in the press box

Labarbera/Ersberg/Bernier

Any questions? Leave them in the comments. Or, ridicule me because it's April and I'm already looking ahead to next season.

Mr. Incredible!

I'm going to be doing a Ducks-Stars series preview for Fanhouse on Wednesday, so I don't want to delve to much into that matchup just yet, but in updating my spreadsheets and going through the Ducks' season, I found some pretty incredible numbers about unretirement advocate Scott Niedermayer.

Pre-Niedermayer Ducks: 34 GP, 96 GA, 2.82 GA/gm
Post-Niedermayer Ducks: 48 GP, 88 GA, 1.83 GA/gm
(note: no shootout goals here)

The second segment has 41% more games than the first segment, and yet 8% fewer goals-allowed. In fact, if you prorate that second segment to 82 games, that projects to only 150 GA, which would have won last year's Jennings by some 34 goals and this year's by some 29 (I say "some" because I don't know if shootouts count or not). Whatever. It's a huge margin.

Most evident in that goal-a-game improvement is penalty killing: the Ducks allowed 41 power play goals before Scott's return and only 28 post-Niedermayer. Percentage-wise, the penalty killing improved from 78.8% to 86.7%, and the Ducks were shorthanded less frequently as well. Times-shorthanded-per-game improved from 5.7 to 4.4 (boy it's nice to have a diplomat on the ice).

The end result I think can be seen on these pie charts that apologetically carry a misleading title. Really, these pie charts sort and tally games according to the number of goals that opponents score. Before Scott's return, the Ducks held opponents to 2 goals or less 44% of the time. After Scott's return, they managed that feat 77% of the time.

Now I do want to throw a strong caution around all these glowing statistics: it isn't the case that Scott Niedermayer by himself is that good (or really, that much better than Pronger); there's a lot of factors to consider in these numbers. For one, the start of the year was a rough one; the team fought through early-season injuries to Giguere, Pahlsson, Schneider, and Bertuzzi, not to mention a crazy travel schedule coming out of London. Also, the quality of goaltending certainly improved as the year went on, both from Giguere and newcomer Hiller. There was going to be some improvement in Anaheim's numbers no matter what Scott did.

Still, it does carry home a point about how inserting talent at the top of the roster can dramatically improve a squad, as we saw last year when the Ducks acquired Pronger. It's not necessarily that Niedermayer can get better results in a shut-down role than Pronger (or vice versa), but rather that in one of them carrying that load, all the rest of the blueline gets to adjust to an easier role. When Niedermayer supports the Pahlsson line, the Pronger pairing and the Schneider pairing get minutes against lesser scorers, and as a result the team picks up wins.

Now I'm not promoting any half-season Hart Trophy or anything, but I do think it's a stunning set of statistics that provide the prevailing story of the Ducks' season, and why they performed so well in the last two quarters of Fenwick's tables. Short answer: Scott is Mr. Incredible.

Here's the kicker. Since Scott's return December 16, the Ducks have continued to score at a dismal rate of 2.42 goals per game, which ranks 26th out of 30 teams since that date. Yet their defense has been so incredibly stingy that their goal differential (+0.58 G/gm) ranks 4th in the league over the same stretch. The shaky offense does make the Ducks a tough team to figure out this spring, but the blueline certainly demands respect. More to come in the Fanhouse preview Wednesday (be warned, I will be regurgitating some of this info).

[EDIT: Bloggers covering different playoff teams wrote in for a Pensblog Playoff Preview, and I covered the Ducks, though mostly using material I've covered here before. Still, the cartoon is new!]

[EDIT 2: This guy beat BoC and four other blogs in the NCAA basketball contest, and will at some point be writing a gloat post to educate us all on Cal Bears football. But hey, we weren't last!]

Go Ducks.

Kings Pick 2nd

Gut pick? Alex Pietrangelo.

Screw You, Superstitions! (Mike's Sharks Rant)

It's well documented that I'm a big believer in sports mojo, so having the Sharks battle the Calgary Flames in the first round wasn't exactly ideal for me. Anything that involves former coach Darryl Sutter exacting revenge on the team that fired him worries me; throw in Owen Nolan, Miikka Kiprusoff, Mark Smith, and Wayne Primeau and it's a virtual reunion for ex-Sharks old and new, and that usually means a boatload of stupid shit happens to the team in teal.

But after my customary freak out, I flipped the tables a little bit. You know what? Calgary's done their own little bit of stupidity to bring on their own bad mojo. I mean, hiring Mike Keenan of all people for a win-now-or-else ultimatum didn't exactly light the world on, er, fire. In fact, I'd say that it's backfired on them, as Kiprusoff has bounced between being the Vezina-worthy guy we've seen over the past few years and Kipru-soft that showed up in San Jose before being put out of his misery. And Keenan, ever the anti-player's coach, has managed to take one of his key offensive components (Kristian Huselius) and get into his head, so much so that he's peaking at his shadow to see if the specter of Iron Mike is following him. Consistency? What consistency? This Calgary Flames team couldn't put together back-to-back wins for weeks.

This particular red-black-and-yellow team is definitely different from the 2004 team that still gives me nightmares; that team was built on defense, toughness, and miracle goaltending. The stats show that Calgary's defense isn't the monster it used to be, and its penalty kill has fallen into the bottom third of the league. The miracle goaltending? When your save percentage hovers just barely over .900, this isn't the Kipper of 2004.

Still, the ex-Sharks connection scares me. Fate scares me, because fate always always always seems to bite the Sharks in the ass. My deepest, darkest fear is that Kipper will stone Patrick Marleau on a Game 7 triple-overtime breakaway, only for it to bounce to Owen Nolan where he takes an innocent wrist shot that deflects off Douglas Murray's ass into the net. Then Brian Campbell signs elsewhere.

I had a little revelation, though, as I sorted through my paranoia, and you know what? This Sharks team is all about exorcising demons. It's about Evgeni Nabokov showing the world that not only was he the smarter choice over Vesa Toskala, he's as good if not better than his former teammate Kiprusoff. It's about Patrick Marleau showing the world that he's the speedy dude with soft hands and a wicked shot, not the pussy-footing douche bag of last year's second round and the first 40 or so games of this season. It's about Joe Thornton killing the myth that he's not a playoff performer once and for all (with a Chris Pronger-esque stomp, of course), and it's about this god damn team showing that the third time with the Thornton/Marleau two-headed monster is the charm, that they have heart and brains and skill, and this is the year that they finally put it together -- with a little help from Brian Campbell, of course.

So damn it, bring on the ghosts of Sharks past, bring on the horrors of the 2004 conference finals and fears of Owen Nolan exacting revenge on his former team. Demons? Nightmares? The only way to the Stanley Cup is by flipping the bird at those things; it starts by staring down the face of those past failures, then firing off a swift kick to the nuts, mojo be damned. Bring on the second round.

Draft Lottery Preview: I Can't Believe I Care About This

The NHL Draft Lottery is happening today at 5 PM on Versus. Here's a comprehensive explanation of how the draft lottery works, courtesy of James Mirtle. The odds of gaining the top pick today are as follows:

Tampa Bay Lightning: 25%
Los Angeles Kings: 18.8%
Atlanta Thrashers: 14.2%
St. Louis Blues: 10.7%
New York Islanders: 8.1%

Other teams have a shot at moving up 4 spots but they can't win 1st overall, so who cares about them. Their odds, all added up, equals 19.6%.

Basically, I only really care that the Kings pick in the top 2. If we win the whole thing, awesome. If Tampa Bay wins it that's okay too, because the Kings would still get their pick of a number of top defensive prospects. If one of the other 3 teams in the top 5 (or the Columbus Blue Jackets, who sit at 6th right now) win, however, I'll be pissed. That would drop us down to 3rd. According to my calculations, the Kings have a 57.2% chance of staying in the top 2.* Hopefully everything works out for us, but I'm not holding out too much hope. That's one of the benefits of being a Kings fan; you'll always be ready for the worst thing possible to happen.

*That's probably wrong, just so you know.

Ducks Gameday—Updated Logo

Phoenix Coyotes (38-37-6, 12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (46-27-8, 3rd in west)

Memo to the league: Pronger's back, so watch your head (and shins)! In fact, I've gone ahead and updated my re-designed Ducks logo to help remind opponents of the constant danger they are in:

Note: Ducking might not prevent getting stomped on.
Prediction: Ducks 3, Coyotes 2, in the last meaningless game of the year. Goals by the thugs: Pronger, Mayday, and Bertuzzi.

Go Ducks.

End-of-the-Season Awards

The media released their team awards today, which can be seen here. My picks?

MVP- Alex Frolov

Best Newcomer- Jack Johnson

Best Defenseman- Rob Blake

Defensive Player- Patrick O'Sullivan (Mark Ellis if he had played more)

Unsung Hero- Tom Preissing

Best Goaltender- Jason Labarbera

Biggest Disappointment- Lubomir Visnovsky

"Len Barrie Memorial Award" for Worst Performer- Brian Willsie

Most Improved- Patrick O'Sullivan

Favorite Player- Dustin Brown

Biggest Hit-

Best Goal-

Favorite Moment-

BoC Gameday—Bedtime!

Anaheim Ducks (45-27-8, 3rd in west) at Los Angeles Kings (32-42-7, 15th in west)

I'm pretty excited, because yesterday I finally got my new laptop from my new job, and it's pretty slick. I haven't yet hooked it up to the scanner nor have I uploaded all my old spreadsheets, but I guess there's no rush so long as last year's cartoons keep applying again this year. From the archives:

Rudy has the game covered below; I can't say it's going to be that meaningful a game outside of the Kings' lottery position, and for the Ducks one last chance to play without Chris Pronger. Instead, I'll take a quick glance 2 games into the future for the Ducks, now that the top 5 seeds in the west are locked in (DET, SJS, MIN, ANA, DAL).


Round One: (4) Anaheim Ducks vs. (5) Dallas Stars
Here's three things to know about this series:

1. Are two Conn Smythe Trophies better than one? This series will feature three of the last four Smythe winners (in fact, three of the six still playing hockey today): J.S. Giguere (2003), Brad Richards (2004), and Scott Niedermayer (2007).

2. Long time no see. This series is the first Pacific vs. Pacific playoff series in five years, when these two teams met in the second round of 2003. Since then, the Ducks have won seven playoff series; the Stars have won none.

3. Is Turco vs. Giguere as big a mismatch as it seems? These two goaltenders made their playoff debuts in 2003, but have had quite different results thus far:

Playoff Stat	J.S. Giguere	Marty Turco
Career W – L	31 – 13	11 – 18
GAA, Sv%	1.96, 92.9%	2.21, 90.9%
OT Record	12 – 1	2 – 8
Seeds beaten*	1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6	8
Seeds lost to*	2	3, 4, 7, 7

* only includes series where the goalie started every game
While this fact-gathering is fun, though, there's also plenty of reasons to be scared shitless of the Stars; they've owned the Ducks for much of this year's season series, mostly played without Zubov or Boucher. But I'll be covering those reasons in another post.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Stars Kings 2. Ducks do the Kings a lottery favor; goals by Selanne, Marchant, Pahlsson, and Huskins.

Go Ducks.

Kings-Ducks Gameday: I Still Prefer Freezeway Series

LA Kings (bloop) vs. Anaheim Ducks (FUCK)

1:00 PST, Fox Sports West

So I guess the Kings aren't going to make the playoffs. I thought they still had a chance, but I checked the standings today and nope, they're eliminated. I guess there's only one thing left to do: injure as many Ducks as possible.

Now, I know that may seem unsportsmanlike, maybe even barbaric. Yeah, it is. But seriously, do you want the Ducks to win another Stanley Cup? I'd rather sit on my balls than let that happen again. Besides, it's not like they don't deserve it. Chris Pronger's an asshole, Ryan Getzlaf has a stupid face, Teemu Selanne takes naked steams with other men, Mathieu Schneider steals from supermarkets, Bobby Ryan was behind the Mai Lei massacre, they're all bastards. Fans around the league would thank the Kings and they'd be hailed as heroes if they took out at least one Duck. We'd be like that dog in that game with ducks... there was some sort of hunt... oh yeah, Halo.

We'll see how happy you are without that tongue

So, here's what you're going to do:

Zeiler, you're miserable, you get Pronger. Try to stomp on him, get some irony going.

Frolov, you take out Pahlsson. He'd never expect it.

Brown, you get Rob Niedermayer when he comes after Frolov. You could injure him physically, but I'd suggest reminding him how he'll never match his brother's accomplishments. Maybe you can get him to cry and give up.

Giuliano, you get Getzlaf. Fake being a "Make a Wish" kid, he'd never expect it.

His wish was to be a marginal NHLer.

Willsie, you get Scott Niedermayer. What I think you should do is slash his wrist then challenge George Parros to a fight. You know what, forget the wrist, just please challenge George Parros to a fight. Call Parros a pussy, he'd never actually drop the gloves.

That should do it, I'd say. The Kings haven't done much to earn respect in the NHL this season; do this, and I bet we could get a someone to trade us an actual defenseman for next season.

This isn't apropos of anything, but I'll be damned if it didn't make me giggle.

Prediction: Kings lose, 5-2, goals by Visnovsky and Handzus. Blake confuses everyones when he takes a slapshot with a 9-iron; he would say later that he just wanted to get in a little practice before the off-season.

Kings-Sharks Gameday: Is This My Life?

LA Kings (gargle) vs. San Jose Sharks (49-21-10, 2nd in West)


7:30 PST, FSN West & Bay Area



and



Tampa Bay Lightning @ Washington Capitals


4:00 PST



I spent last night listening to the Hurricanes-Lightning game. I'm not proud of it. It's not quite bottom; I'm not on message boards arguing with Lightning fans over who deserves Stamkos more. But I'm getting close.






The Lightning lost last night, putting them at 71 points with 2 games left to play. The Kings sit at 69 points with 2 games left. Basically, Tampa needs to win 1 game and the Kings need to lose 1 for the Kings to clinch the bottom spot. The saddest thing is that I don't even care if the Kings get Stamkos that much. Sure, he's good, but he's not vital for Los Angeles. We have a franchise center already and defenseman is more of a need. I'm not saying that the Kings shouldn't draft Stamkos, I'm just saying that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if we didn't get him.



So why do I want the Kings to finish last? I think I just want the Kings to be the worst team in the league because then they can't get worse. If they're last, then next year they'll be guaranteed to improve at least a little bit. Pathetic, I know, but it's the truth.

***

On the opposite side of things, San Jose still has a slim possibility of winning the President's Trophy. If they win their next 2 games (against LA and Dallas), and Detroit loses their next 2 games (against Columbus and Chicago) without going into overtime, then the Sharks will take the top seed in the West. That's kind of incredible if you consider the Sharks struggles early in the year and how much whining San Jose fans did during that time. Is Ron Wilson's job safe yet?

***

Jonathan Bernier looks to be headed to Manchester now that his season with the Lewiston MAINEiacs (ugh) is over. He'll split duties with Johnathan Quick until the Kings end this weekend, at which point Ersberg will head down to Manchester and Quick will go to Reading. Hopefully Bernier can follow in Carey Price's footsteps and do some damage in the AHL playoffs to set himself up nicely for next season.

In other Manchester news, Ted Purcell and Brian Boyle were both named to the AHL All-Rooke team. Also selected was Bobby Ryan, which of course makes him a better draft selection than Jack Johnson.



Prediction: Kings lose, 3-2. Goals by Willsie and Cammalleri. Joe Thornton gets lost in Alex Frolov's eyes and plows into a goal post, receiving a concussion that knocks him out of the playoffs. San Jose commits communal suicide.

Vendetta 2: Rating Revenge in the West

Franchise All-Time Playoff Records

Rk	Franchise	Playoff Record	Win Pct.
1.	Edmonton	152 – 99 – 0	.606
2.	Anaheim	44 – 29 – 0	.603
3.	Montreal	393 – 266 – 8	.595
4.	NY Islanders	134 – 106 – 0	.558
5.	New Jersey / Colorado	117 – 96 – 0	.549

You have to be impressed with the Ducks' position here, especially considering the franchise lost 11 of its first 15 playoff games. Still, in amassing such a franchise record (the bulk of which has happened since 2003), a lot of toes get stepped on along the way.

Last year around this time, I put a post together called “V for Vendetta—Who’s the hungriest for roast Duck this spring?”, where I looked at four western conference playoff participants that had particularly vengeful incentive to eliminate the Ducks. Of those four, Minnesota and Detroit both got that sweet opportunity to eliminate Anaheim but failed, making them probably even more motivated this time around.

This year I’m just going to include all the possible WC opponents in this discussion, and try to rank their appetite to topple the postseason Ducks (aside from the usual incentive in dethroning the champs), with the main focus being on playoffs past. Some have stronger cases for revenge than others, but of all the choices, who has been hurt most by the Ducks in the past? Here's my ranking:

1. Minnesota Wild
Series losses to Anaheim: 2003 round 3 (4-0), 2007 Round 1 (4-1)

Poor, poor Wild. Twice in their franchise history they have made the playoffs; twice they have been eliminated by the Ducks. In 2003, they ran into J.S. Giguere at the crescendo of his Conn Smythe glory, who held the scrappy Wild to one goal over a four-game sweep. Unheard of. It took the Wild four years to recover and qualify again, only to go up against the hated Ducks a second time. This time, Giguere sat out (family issues), and backup Ilya Bryzgalov took over. The series was tight, but Anaheim won the first three games each by a single goal, and by then things were pretty much settled. Add in a suckerpunch by Brad May, and another Giguere win, and I think the Wild probably would enjoy a Duck execution more than anybody.

From the archives: Now I'm going to hell for sure, Remembering history so I'm not doomed to repeat it

2. Detroit Red Wings
Series Losses to Anaheim: 2003 Round 1 (4-0), 2007 Round 3 (4-2)

Of all the western teams in this year's playoffs, only Detroit has had the previous pleasure of eliminating Anaheim, though those series wins (both sweeps) came in the late 90s. The tables have turned, however, since Giguere singlehandedly swept the defending champions in the opening round of 2003, a harsh blow to a proud franchise. Last spring the Wings had a different sort of heartbreak; they led G5 in a tied series 1-0 leading into the final minute of regulation, and Scott Niedermayer's fluky goal and Teemu Selanne's fluky OT breakaway proved the difference. I think the Wild edge the Wings on this ranking because they have no other postseason successes to dwell upon, but the Wings are damn close. Anaheim likely cost them two Stanley Cups.

From the Archives: Off for the weekend, Obligatory gloat post, A history lesson

3. Calgary Flames
Series Losses to Anaheim: 2006 Round 1 (4-3)

Calgary was a story of a Flames opportunity lost, but also of a Ducks team coming together in front of a crazy Russian netminder. Calgary had built a 3-2 series lead largely on the suddenly human goaltending of J.S. Giguere, and midway through G5 Carlyle threw in Bryzgalov. Between that and rookie Frenchie Beauchemin pummeling posterchild Jarome Iginla, the Ducks got what they needed to squeak a G6 win before silencing the Red Mile in a dominant G7. I had trouble ranking 3-5 on this list, but I think that stunned silence puts Calgary on top of the only-eliminated-once group.

From the Archives: Avian flu indeed, Round-by-round Bryzgalove

4. Colorado Avalanche
Series Losses to the Ducks: 2006 Round 2 (4-0)

This series was a mini-Minny sweep; the Avs were dominated by the charging Ducks from the drop of the first puck, even playing without J.S. Giguere and rookie Corey Perry. Really, the momentum built up at the end of the Calgary series carried into G1 and G2 shutout victories, and Colorado was reeling after that. Their best effort came in G3, but Joffrey Lupul had his night of nights, scoring four goals including the OT winner. This marked the first time since the Avs had moved to Colorado that they had failed to take at least two games in a series.

From the Archives: Fun facts about sweeping the Avs

5. Dallas Stars
Series Losses to the Ducks: 2003 Round 2 (4-2)

I can't believe it's been five years since the last series that featured two Pacific Division teams, but it's likely this could be revisited in the first round this spring. Dallas was the top seed in the west that spring, and seemed quite determined to not suffer the same fate as Detroit. Their issue was that they were vulnerable to late-game heroics. In all six games of the series, the Stars were tied or had the lead with 2 minutes to go in regulation, yet still managed to lose four of them. All four Anaheim winning goals came on their last shot on net.

From the Archives: A look back at the '03 playoffs

6. Vancouver Canucks
Series Losses to the Ducks: 2007 Round 2 (4-1)

Vancouver might not have the heartbreaking story of contenders 1-5, but it's compelling nonetheless. The Canucks were riding their young goaltender in his first playoff year similar to how the Ducks had done in 2003, and found themselves down 2-1 in the series. They managed to score the first two goals in G4 in Vancouver, seemingly ready to even the series, but then managed to lose that lead. It was a crushing ending for the Canucks, as the series-winning OT goal occurred when Roberto Luongo got more interested in refereeing than netminding, and I'm sure Vancouver would like another chance to eliminate the Ducks and their Stompy Captain.

From the Archives: Welcome to SoCal, Roberto, Marine biologists discover a new disease

7. San Jose Sharks
No playoff history with Anaheim

It's amazing; Sharks fans might think they're gunning for us, but they're one of the few teams that can only base their hatred on regular season matchups. Well, I guess there's two things playoff-related that they can hate the Ducks for: (1) Pronger eliminated the Sharks in the 2nd round of '06, and (2) Two years in a row, SJ blew a 2nd round series lead and failed to get a matchup against Anaheim. This second one may be a source for Shark-anger; while other teams failed against the Ducks, San Jose blew it before even getting to that matchup.

8. Nashville Predators
No playoff history with Anaheim

I don't know why Nashville would hate the Ducks, unless they naturally associate the Ducks with their postseason nemesis, the Sharks, because of geography. If anything, Preds fans might enjoy the fact that the Ducks twice eliminated the Red Wings, but I'm just guessing.

Honorable mentions:
These teams won't be making an appearance in the western playoffs, but you bet they'd like to kill the Ducks as well.

Edmonton Oilers: The Oilers are the only team in the west to have a perfect series record against Anaheim, and yet their hatred is palpable, mostly having to do with off-ice confrontations (the Pronger trade and the Penner signing, and all the Burke-Lowe name-calling that ensued). The Oilers won't qualify this year, but they'll be solidly rooting for a Duck elimination this spring, and not just to protect their postseason winning percentage; they've also got a draft pick that depends on how Anaheim finishes.

Ottawa Senators: This seems pretty obvious to me. The Senators were thoroughly steamrolled in front of a multinational audience in last spring's cup finals, and would desperately like a do-over. It was a tough fall from glory for a team that had easily waltzed through the eastern playoffs, and even attending this year's regular season matchup, you could see the pent-up frustration.

Los Angeles Kings: When Anaheim lifted the cup, a part of every Kings fan's soul died. It has to be tough: 40 years of cup frustration, only to see the new BoC sibling make it look so darn easy, while the Kings sit around the NHL cellar. The Ducks and Kings have never qualified for the postseason in the same year, so it's tough to know where L.A. ranks on this list, but I think it's fair to say that they'd love a shot at eliminating Anaheim, probably more than teams that have faced the Ducks and lost. Irrelevance has its emotional cost as well.

So there you have it. It's a long list of teams with a lot of good recent-history reasons to want revenge on Anaheim, and my attempt to rank their previous playoff nightmares. What do you think? Is it worse to blow a series lead or to get swept? Who's had it the worst?

More likely than not, some team from the west is going to get the satisfaction of dethroning the Ducks; which opponent wants it the most? Let's hear your rankings in the comments.

The Fatuous Four

The Kings Madness competition is now down to its final four. There have been upsets, buzzer beaters and heartbreak so far, but now it's serious, folks. Here are my original predictions and here are the final match-ups:

Wayne Gretzky

vs.

Luc Robitaille

Holy shit. This is basically the Western Conference Finals, because whoever wins is pretty much guaranteed to win the whole thing. I mean, you have the world's greatest hockey player versus "Lucky" Luc Robitaille. Here's the way I see it:


Wayne Gretzky is The Great One. He's so far above Luc Robitaille in terms of hockey ability it's ridiculous. But, he doesn't belong to the Kings. He doesn't belong to the Oilers.* He belongs to hockey fans everywhere. Gretzky gave us 8 great years, but that wasn't unique to us; he gave that to fans of hockey everywhere. I mean, last year Columbus fans gave Gretzky a standing ovation at the NHL draft. It's ridiculous and foolhardy for Kings' fans to try and claim him for themselves.


Luc Robitaille, on the other hand, is a great player who completely belongs to the Kings. He was drafted, groomed, and celebrated by Los Angeles. He owns the Kings all-time scoring record is staying with the team after his playing career ended. More importantly (at least to me), he was never really the same when he was with another team. He gets traded to Pittsburgh and then New York and puts up a high of 69 points in 3 seasons; then he comes back to LA and puts up 74, 74, and 88 point seasons in consecutive years. He goes to Detroit and wins a Cup, but then he comes back to LA and has a renaissance. Plus, Luc has a way better personality and is far more fun than Gretzky. You wouldn't vote for Luke Skywalker over Han Solo, would you? Wayne Gretzky is hockey, but Luc Robitaille is the Los Angeles Kings.

*Gretzky's Hall of Fame display has his Edmonton and Team Canada jerseys hung up, proudly displayed. His Kings jersey? On the ground, wrapped up so you only see his name on the jersey and not the Kings crest. Oh, Canada.

Rob Blake

vs.

Anze Kopitar

What the hell? This is like if George Mason and Davidson both made it to the Final Four. Hold on, I need to talk to Kings fans. If you're not one, skip this.

C'mon guys, the Kings have 41 years of history and you vote for the guy who has been on the team for 2 years? That's stupid. Blake is acceptable, since he's the only King to win a Norris Trophy, but Kopitar? Maybe one day, but it's retarded for him to get this far. He was in the same division as Marcel Dionne, for God's sakes! Who did he lose to anyway... Marty McSorley? And in the Elite Eight you voted for Dustin Brown over Rogie Vachon??? And you voted for Kopitar over Kelly Hrudey????????????? God you guys are idiots. How are we supposed to brag about how we are an actual team to Anaheim and San Jose if you guys are going to only pick players that have been around for the past 15 years? At least fake like you care about the past. You're embarrassing me.


So, in conclusion, I think it should go like this: Robitaille wins over Gretzky (with all due respect), Bowlby beats Kopitar, Luc wins the whole thing. Afterwards, the Kings start showing mandatory history films before games.


Edit: Fuck, Ovechkin tied Robitaille's record last night. Well, now you better vote for him just to make him feel better.

Kings Gameday: Guess the Aggregate!

LA Kings (geez) @ San Jose Sharks (48-21-10, 2nd in West)

7:30 PST, 1150 AM (or Fox Sports Bay Area)

(Catchy title, no?)

The Kings play out the string with two games against San Jose and a finale against Anaheim. Since I'm lazy and missed the last game (thank God), I'm asking you to guess the aggregate score for these final 3 games. My guess? 13-7. Whoever comes closest gets... I don't know, a hearty handshake.

Prediction: Kings lose, 4-2. Goals by Harrold and Zeiler. Why not?

Western Conference Regulation Record Grid

I've been meaning to put together a stats table to show all the potential western conference playoff participants, similar to the tables I built last year, and here it is. This table shows regulation records (the record at the end of 60 minutes) for the top ten teams in the west playing against the top ten teams in the west, all carrying some level of playoff aspiration. I've turned that regulation record into a winning percentage, and included GF and GA stats as well (note: GF and GA do include OT goals, mostly because I'm lazy). Basically, you can pick a team along the left column and follow it across to see how that team has fared against each of the nine potential future opponents, to see where a particular match-up seems favorable or not.

(Click on image to enlarge)
Some takeaway notes, briefly:

• From the Ducks' perspective, I'm not a huge believer on what this table tells us. A lot of the games used in creating this table were played without Niedermayer and Selanne at first, then Pronger and Perry later. It's tough to draw any hard conclusions on how a more complete team would have fared over the course of a season. Still, it's worth noting that the Ducks have the worst offense of any of these teams (against this opposition), and that even though the Ducks don't rate that well against their likely first round opponent in the Dallas Stars, it's still better than their regular season performance against Minnesota or Vancouver.



• As for winners from this table, it's hard not to like Detroit, San Jose, and Dallas, the three teams that show winning regulation records against the best of the west. Of the three, Detroit dominates the other two, though, and has strong records against nearly all other contenders (except Anaheim and perhaps Nashville). Perhaps Detroit's two main hopes should be that some other team eliminates the Ducks and somehow the Predators avoid finishing eighth, but generally, they've played this field very well.



• Among the teams still fighting for a spot, Calgary probably really wants the sixth seed the most, and Colorado wants to avoid falling to eighth the most. Vancouver appears to be in some trouble; even if they do qualify for the postseason they project to go up against a first round opponent that's dominated them during the regular season.

Anyway, I know that today's supposed to be all pranks and merriment, but I thought I'd throw out a statistical glance at the coming postseason. Read into it what you will (and I'll take any responses in the comments), but I think it offers a quick glance at what opponents each team finds more or less desirable for the prolonged fight to the cup finals. Once the standings gets a little more locked in, I'll delve a bit more into the emotional side; I'm quite new at this "defending" gig, and in that sense, it's a playoff year like I've never experienced before.

Until then, Go Ducks.